The Honeywood Files

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by H. B. Creswell


  Believe me,

  Yours truly,

  P.S.—A friend of ours has recently purchased a charming bungalow on the South Coast, the walls of which are composed of Brikko and the room covered with Slabbo. I have not viewed the edifice myself, but Lady Brash informs me that it is extremely pretty and that residences can be erected with these materials much more inexpensively than with bricks and slates. It occurs to us that you could considerably reduce your price by availing yourself of these substances, and I also understand that their use makes it possible for walls and roofs to exactly match in colour.

  It is to be noticed that Brash has climbed down. He evidently regrets his previous asperity, and asks Spinlove to believe that he is his truly. These sensitive tokens of the set of the wind are not to be ignored. It is a frank and cordial letter; the lofty diction which prefers “recently purchased” to “just bought,” and so forth, is the result of success supervening on defective education, and has no significance.

  SPINLOVE TO BRASH

  Dear Sir,8.2.24.

  Thank you for your letter enclosing sketch. I note your wishes, but there are difficulties which will, I fear, prevent my giving effect to them. For instance, it will scarcely be possible to attempt to make any plan until the position of the house on the site, or at least its aspect, is settled. I am also sorry to say that when your plan is drawn out to scale—that is, when the various walls are arranged in the positions fixed by the dimensions you give—the house will not take the form you indicate, nor, indeed, any practicable form. For example, the front is nearly one-third as long again as the back, so that the gun-room, kitchens, etc., would form an inaccessible wing and the passage marked “private corridor” would be outside the building altogether. It is necessary, too, that all habitable rooms should have windows opening on to the outer air, and even w.c.s and larders must conform to this rule, which is enforceable by law and takes no account of the private tastes of the owner, so that the arrangements, adjoining the room marked “Den,” will have to be completely remodelled. Also, I am afraid, it will be impossible to enter the house from the front door, except, of course, by going up the front stairs and down the back, which cannot be your intention. Up the back stairs and down the front is also the only way the servants can get to the door to answer the bell; moreover, the front stairs could be used to reach the bedrooms only by going out by the back door, or by one of the windows, and in at the front door. I mention these matters in order to make clear why it is impossible for me to adopt your plan, but I will make sketch designs for a house with a S.W. aspect which will give you the accommodation you show and provide, as nearly as may be, the areas you have fixed for the chief rooms.

  I do not know either of the building materials you mention. There are a good many new patent materials which may be suitable for cheaply-built bungalows, but which could not be used in such a house as you intend. A uniform colour in walls and roof is a thing to be avoided rather than sought, and I think that the coincidence you refer to is accidental and due to callousness on the part of the builder. I shall hope to send you sketches in the course of the next ten days.

  Believe me,

  Yours truly,

  This letter is a serious error of judgment. One might think that it was facetious and ironical, but the true explanation is, no doubt, that Mr. James Spinlove, a.r.i.b.a., has no sense of humour. He has regarded Brash’s plan as a serious proposal; finds it a hopeless obstacle to all solutions of the problem and with enormous earnestness, sits down to explain why he cannot make use of it. Unfortunately, Brash’s sense of humour—if he ever had any—is squashed flat under the dead weight of that self-importance which gained and supports his knighthood, so that the fat is probably in the fire. Spinlove is starting badly. I feel almost ashamed of him, for he is in a sense my protégé, and I had no idea he could be so foolish. All he had to do was to thank Brash for his plan in a cheery note and take it for what it was worth—namely, for the information it may give of Brash’s needs and prejudices. Spinlove’s design need not follow the other: he will have conclusive explanations for his deviations, but probably no questions will be asked. A client’s plan expresses only nebulous ideas, and the vivid actuality of the architect’s design usually drives it out of remembrance. Spinlove might have made things quite safe for himself by telling Brash, when thanking him for his plan, that he proposed to prepare one himself so that the two might be compared and the best points of each combined in the final scheme. Spinlove, however, did nothing so tactful.

  BRASH TO SPINLOVE

  Dear Sir,9.2.24.

  I apprehend that it is surely not necessary for me to elucidate that the very rough sketch I transmitted to you to inform you of the mansion I desire was not intended as a maturely conceived proposition. I comprehend very little of “prospect” and “aspect,” and of what is “possible” and “impossible” for an architect, but I know the kind of residence I desire, and I consider that I have in various ways indicated my wishes with sufficiently lucid clearness.

  The appropriate relative colours of the walls and roof of an edifice are, I consider, a matter of opinion and not of fact. I have not weighed the proposition and am amenable to guidance by your judgment, but I fail to comprehend why you should be so decisive in condemning buildings materials of which you admit you know nothing.

  I await your sketches with interest,

  Yours faithfully,

  It will be noticed how much more dignified and effective Brash is when his native pepper rules. This letter shows him to be, as Dalbet described him, a real good sort. Spinlove ought to congratulate himself on getting off so lightly, and feel heartened to know the ingenuous nature of the man he has to deal with. I say ought to feel; but unawareness of his own stupidity and his lack of knowledge of men and affairs, have apparently caused this letter to throw him into consternation.

  SPINLOVE TO BRASH

  Dear Sir,12.2.24.

  You have, I entirely agree, given me the fullest particulars of your requirements, and my last letter was intended only to explain why the plans I am shortly sending you cannot follow the lines of the sketch you were so obliging as to give me, although they will, I trust and believe, fulfil its intentions. I very much regret that unfortunately I do not appear to have made this clear to you.

  I ought also to have explained in commenting on “Brikko” and “Slabbo” that it is important, as I am sure you will agree, that the materials of which your house is built should be strong and that they should last. For this reason it is advisable to use in your house only materials which are known by experience to endure. Cheaply-built bungalows are in quite a different category, as I need, I think, scarcely point out.

  The traditional association of bricks and tiles with the architecture of houses also makes it necessary to use bricks and tiles to give architectural character to your house. The substitution of unusual materials for such a purpose would create great difficulties in design, and the result would be certain to disappoint you greatly.

  Yours faithfully,

  It was not necessary for Spinlove to prostrate himself so completely, but the fault, if any, is on the right side. There is a respect due to years, and if Brash had any suspicion that Spinlove’s offending letter was facetious he is now disabused. Brash does not appear to have replied, for we next find:

  SPINLOVE TO BRASH

  Dear Sir,19.2.24.

  I send you to-day under separate cover sketch plans and perspective view of the proposed house. The sizes of the rooms are figured, and I hope the arrangements will be clear to you. The small scale block-plan shows the position on the site. These drawings are intended only as preliminary sketches, but they will at least serve to reduce the problem to practical issues. To the best of my judgment the building shown will cost £19,500. I do not think that the cost need be higher, but I do not think it will be much less.

  Yours faithfully,

  These preliminary sketches, it is to be noticed, show a smaller house than Bras
h wants, do not follow his pet ideas of plan arrangement, and the estimate is 40 percent more than he wants to spend. Brash also has in mind to give up the idea of building altogether and adapt an existing house. Spinlove, therefore, for whom this commission is a big opportunity, must feel considerable anxiety. Such positions frequently occur, anything may happen and no one could foretell what. A rise in stocks or a badly-cooked breakfast may settle the question one way or another. Apparently there was a rise in stocks.

  BRASH TO SPINLOVE

  Dear Mr. Spinlove,21.2.24.

  Lady Brash and myself are delighted with the plans of the house and with the charming picture delineating a view of the exterior. We are filled with admiration for the skilful ingenuity with which you have fitted everything in, and with the appropriate completeness of the arrangements. Lady Brash is particularly delighted with the cupboard in the recess in the kitchen passage and with the door shutting off the domestics’ domain. There are certain insignificant matters which we desire altered: for instance, the entrance hall and staircase to be transferred farther along so as to leave an expanse of blank wall for the wisteria Lady Brash desires to plant in that situation, but these alterations I can elucidate when we meet.

  The estimate of cost, is, I regret to intimate, a disappointment; I anticipated you would be able to reduce it after the plans were drawn out. I apprehend it will be requisite to minimize the expenditure, but we are so greatly enamoured with the design that I trust it may not be necessary to have recourse to material alterations. Would it be possible to omit the morning room and the two projecting bays for the present so that they could be eventually added at a later date?

  Can you call at Zimmon Gardens at six on Wednesday to discuss matters? Lady Brash will be disengaged at that hour. Perhaps you would be so good as to telephone to the house.

  Yours faithfully,

  Spinlove is clearly competent, but he is no less clearly lucky. It was quite on the cards that his design might outrage some prejudice of his client of which he could know nothing, or that in exercising his discretion, he might seriously have missed the mark, or that the plans might have been misread. If any of these things had chanced, Brash’s pepper might have made him impatient and, with the added discouragement of the estimate, led him to abandon the whole project, or to consult another architect. As it happens, Spinlove has made a complete conquest. His preliminary sketches have been swallowed whole, the design is practically settled, discrepancy of cost is in a fair way to being adjusted and, from being captious and critical, Brash has become enthusiastic and appreciative. The interview evidently took place, for the next letter is dated a fortnight later.

  SPINLOVE TO BRASH

  Dear Sir Leslie Brash,9.3.24.

  I enclose revised sketch plans which you will see embody the whole of the alternatives except the shifting of the entrance hall and staircase, which, as I expected, cannot be moved without entirely remodelling the plan and designing the house on altogether different lines. It is unfortunate that the position of the front door and the window do not give an opportunity of training a wisteria in that particular position, but all planning is a balance of advantages, and I am afraid this one will have to go.

  By comparing the dimensions on the revised plan with those shown on the original sketches, which I also enclose, you will see the reductions I have been able to make, and that I have also saved what space could be spared in bathrooms, passages, and so on; but nothing has been unduly pinched. I have also reduced the heights of floors as arranged, and taking everything into consideration I think the cost will be reduced from £19,500 to £17,300. To this has to be added the cost of the terrace, £1,200, which it was agreed should be included with the house, making the new estimate £18,500.

  Will you please tell Lady Brash that things are so arranged that the chimney will be visible from no windows except those of the kitchen offices, gun-room, and servants’ bedrooms. If you will let me know that you approve I will prepare contract drawings and documents for the purpose of securing tenders.

  Yours faithfully,

  BRASH TO SPINLOVE

  Dear Mr. Spinlove,14.3.24.

  We appreciate the plans extremely, although we are disappointed you cannot transfer the entrance hall and staircase. I am somewhat apprehensive at the reduction in the dimensions, and anticipate we may be spoiling the ship to save a pennyworth of tar. I have therefore augmented some of them. Also I desire you will not take any chance of risks of bathrooms and passages being restricted, or the rooms too low in height. In order to meet the cost of expenditure I have decided not to erect a garage, kennels, etc., at present. I shall perhaps make a temporary wooden structure suffice to begin with, particularly as it may be desirable to first build cottages for the male outdoor staff. The terrace should be included. Will you therefore proceed with the contract and inform me immediately when the operations will commence and how long a period they will take to complete.

  Yours sincerely,

  SPINLOVE TO BRASH

  Dear Sir Leslie Brash,17.3.24.

  Thank you for your letter. I will get on with the contract drawings at once.

  In reply to your question, all well, the building will start in about four months’ time, and take about two years to complete.

  I enclose list of seven builders I propose to invite to tender. Five, as you will see, are of London; the other two are provincial firms operating in the district. All are of good standing and known to me. If there is anyone else you would like included will you please let me know.

  In order to save the cost of the builder finding his own water, I propose to have the well sunk at once. As we know we shall get plenty of water at about 130 ft. it will not be actually necessary to employ a consulting engineer, but l propose nevertheless to do so both on the ground of economy and efficiency. I suggest the name of Mr. P. F. Toodlewipe, a.m.i.c.e., who is known to me.

  Yours sincerely,

  BRASH TO SPINLOVE

  Dear Mr. Spinlove,22.3.24.

  I was dumbfounded at your communication intimating an anticipated delay of four months. I am at a loss to comprehend why this should occur. Surely now that everything is settled arrangements can be agreed with a suitable builder? Also the length of time the work will take. Two years! We are completing arrangements to take up residence next summer. Surely the operations will be terminated in fifteen months from now! Can nothing be done to expedite progress?

  Certainly do as you propose as regards the well.

  There is a builder at Marlford—Nibnose & Rasper—whom you might append to your list, and also a most respectable man, Mr. John Reaker, at Thaddington, who did work for a considerable period on Lord Imagwire’s estate, whom I desire should tender. I fancy his son carries on the business now in partnership with a person named Mr. Smith.

  Yours sincerely,

  SPINLOVE TO BRASH

  Dear Sir Leslie Brash,24.3.24.

  I am afraid that four months from now is as soon as you can expect to see the builder at work. It will take me seven or eight weeks to work out the design in detail and prepare the necessary drawings and contract documents. The preparation of bills of quantities to enable builders to tender will probably take four weeks, the builder ought to have at least ten days in which to arrive at the figure of his tender, and a fortnight would be a short time in which to settle and sign the contract and for the builder to get his plant on to the site. It is true that the house might be built even in one year only, if a special point were made of it; but it would invite disaster to scramble through work of this kind, and it is doubtful if a really good builder would enter on such an undertaking. I will do all I can to expedite matters.

  Thank you for names of builders. I will inquire about these firms.

  Yours sincerely,

  CATASTROPHE OF THE TRIAL HOLES

  SPINLOVE TO MESSRS. REAKER & SMITH,

  BUILDERS, THADDINGTON, KENT

  Dear Sirs,28.3.24.

  I understand that you hav
e done work for many years on Lord Imagwire’s estate. I want some trial holes dug in the meadow south of Honeywood Spinney on the top of Honeywood Hill. The enclosed plan shows the ground and the position of the holes, which should be 8 ft. deep. If you can undertake this work I will ask you to put it in hand at once and give me notice so that I may go down and see the ground.

  If you are accustomed to building large private houses will you tell me of some you have built and give me the names of two or three architects under whose direction you have worked?

  Yours faithfully,

  Spinlove seems to have forgotten that he is an agent of Sir Leslie Brash. In ordering this work without making clear that he acts as agent, he assumes responsibility and could, in fact, be made to pay for it.

  The following letter seems to have found its way into the file instead of the wastepaper basket. It is a circular, with the name of addressee and subject added, printed by a firm which claims that its output is indistinguishable from autographs, and that it “brings business.” The sort of work done by firms who depend upon this means of getting it, would not suit Spinlove, as no doubt he perfectly understands.

 

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