‘Gloria discussed your plan with me about your husbands, so you can decide where the men are to sleep and see what we can do to keep them here. I’ve talked it over with Jane – you know, my friend who’s coming to help out, and I’m pretty sure we can pull it off between us.’
Lorna could detect a hint of excitement in Clara’s voice. She sighed; it seemed that their mad idea was on.
15
The Other Wronged Wife
Lorna was sitting at the kitchen table, carefully sticking a paper hinge into the hollow spine of a damaged book. It was a fiddly job and she was annoyed when the doorbell rang. She thought it might be Gloria, who had said she’d pop in on her way back from yet another fair. It was quite early for her, just after lunch, but maybe she’d sold out, or had enough.
Lorna had trained to do book conservation before she married and had worked in a geographical library before the children were born but then she’d gone freelance so she could do most of the work at home. It was spasmodic work, but it suited her.
She finished lining up the paper in the gap in the book’s spine with the tweezers, so she covered it with non-stick paper, bandaged it up and put it aside to dry. The bell went again, more stridently this time. She went to the door and opened it, expecting to see Gloria, a joke on her lips, but stopped abruptly
A young woman eyed her nervously. She wore a navy knitted hat with a matching crocheted flower on one side, a navy skirt and a pale blue, wool jacket. She was pretty in a faded sort of way, but she appeared dispirited, as if life had ground her down. She could be a Jehovah’s Witness but they usually travelled in pairs and she couldn’t see anyone else. Perhaps she’d mistaken the house. Lorna smiled and asked who she was looking for.
‘You, I think,’ the woman said. ‘Mrs Sanderson?’
‘I’m Mrs Sanderson. What can I do for you?’ Perhaps she’d brought some books for repair, but she didn’t remember meeting her before, and she wasn’t carrying anything other than a small handbag.
‘Could I come in?’ The woman stepped forward with determination, her hands clenched round the handle of her bag. Lorna felt a tinge of disquiet. Was she something to do with Stephen? Some other woman he had got involved with, who now wanted to tell her some grievance she had? She moved in front of her, blocking her entry.
‘Please tell me who you are and why you want to see me.’ She hoped she sounded firm.
‘I’m Tess . . . Ben’s wife,’ the woman admitted, almost apologetically.
For a moment Lorna didn’t click; then it hit her. The wife of Flora’s boyfriend who’d fathered her grandchild.
‘Oh God, d- do come in.’ What could she say? Was this woman dangerous, come to wreak havoc in revenge for her daughter’s crime of stealing her husband, and carrying the child she could not?
Once inside the narrow hall with the front door shut behind her, Tess’s courage seeped away. Nervously she looked round as if she were trapped. She glanced furtively back at the closed door as if wondering whether to make a run for it.
‘Can I get you something, coffee, tea?’ Lorna asked, realising that they were both afraid of each other’s reactions. If only Gloria would turn up, help her out.
‘No nothing. I just want to talk . . . See you.’ Close to, she appeared much older, mature, more like Ben’s mother than his wife. Perhaps she was past childbearing and would never conceive. Perhaps Ben had left her for Flora because she was younger and could give him a baby. Her mind spun with complicated scenarios as she led the way into the living room,
‘Come and sit down, talk all you want. I don’t know if I can help you, but I’ll try.’ Did Tess even know about the pregnancy? She didn’t want to be the person to tell her. It was for Ben to do that, not her.
Tess stumbled forward into the room, came to a halt, whipped round and blurted as if she was afraid she’d lose the courage to say it, ‘My husband is having an affair with your daughter. I want him to stop. I want you to tell her she can’t have him. He’s married and he won’t leave me.’ Her voice was edged with desperation, and despite feeling a pang of sympathy for her, Lorna wanted to say, ‘They do leave us, even the most loving husband can change and leave us.’
Instead, she steered her to a chair and Tess slumped down on it as if her legs could no longer support her. ‘I am so sorry about it. I know it’s not right; they shouldn’t have done it. Have you asked him to give her up?’ Lorna felt cowed by the situation. It must have taken a lot of courage for Tess to come and confront her over her husband’s infidelity.
‘It’s not his fault,’ Tess cried out. ‘She seduced him. I’m sorry to tell you this, but she stole him away from me. She doesn’t want him, not like I do. She’s young and pretty, she’ll chop and change over her choice of boyfriends, but I can’t bear to lose him.’
Tess’s distress brought tears to Lorna’s eyes. She couldn’t bear to lose Stephen, but she had, at least she had his children. This poor woman didn’t have any. Even if Flora did give up Ben, the coming child would always link them together. Whatever could she say to comfort her?
‘Have you discussed it together?’ Lorna sat down on the sofa beside Tess’s chair. ‘I didn’t know Flora had broken up with her previous boyfriend. I didn’t know anything about … Ben….until recently.’ She added, feeling it best to admit knowing about it.
‘He won’t discuss it. He just stays silent.’
‘Is he still living with you?’ She didn’t even know that. Flora had told her about the baby and about Ben, but she knew nothing about their living arrangements. Now she recalled there had been a flat belonging to a friend where Ben had dried Flora’s muddy drawings. Did they live there together, or just meet there, or had the friend returned?
‘Yes, he is, but he visits her, I know he visits her.’ Tess looked down at her hands twisting in her lap, as if they were alien to her. She seemed almost embarrassed, as if she were at fault for not stopping these visits.
‘But you must talk to him. It will be hard at first, but once it’s all out in the open you will know what you are dealing with.’ How painful it was to hear the truth, face up to it, but at least then Tess would know where she stood and would no longer be left hanging in hope.
‘But couldn’t you . . .’ Tess’s voice was pleading, desperate. ‘Please, couldn’t you tell your daughter to let him go?’
Lorna leant forward and put her hand over Tess’s. If only life were so easy.
‘She’s twenty, with a mind of her own and as you know, away from home. I have talked to her, pointed out that what she is doing is wrong, but I can’t force her to leave him, nor can I make him give her up and, go back to you, and anyway …’ Lorna paused; Tess was gazing at her, her eyes filled with hope that she could solve their problem. ‘After this, things between you might be so different to what you hope for. This … affair . . . this betrayal …’ she wished she could lift the oppressive atmosphere, ‘I don’t know how you live with that. It might be possible but …’
‘I just want him back,’ Tess said tonelessly.
The doorbell rang, making them both jump. Tess’s eyes went wide with terror as if it were Ben, who’d somehow tracked her down and would discover her visit. This time it must be Gloria and though minutes before Lorna had longed for her to be here, now she dreaded it. How could she warn her not to say anything about Flora’s pregnancy? It was not for them to break such news to this desperate woman. She said, ‘That’s probably a friend of mine, she said she might pop by.’
‘I … I’d better go.’ Tess did not seem to have the strength to move.
The bell went again. Lorna got up. ‘I’ll just let her in.’ She glanced through the spy hole before opening the door, to make sure it was Gloria. Taking her arm she steered her back onto the pavement, away from the door, whispering, ‘The wife of Flora’s boyfriend and father of the child is here. Please don’t mention the baby.’
‘God, no…’ Gloria looked shocked. ‘Shall I go away?’
‘No please s
tay. It’s hell for her poor woman, but come in.’ She went back into the house, asking her loudly how she had done at the fair.
‘Very well, thank goodness, almost sold out so I left early. Look…’ She handed her a navy paper bag. ‘Special for you, lovely ham. Nathan insisted that I give it to you.’ She laughed. ‘I said I was going to see you and he said, “Here’s a food parcel for her.” Perhaps he thinks you’re starving, some sort of refugee.’
‘Thanks?’ she took it, peered inside and the mouth-watering aroma wafted from the packet. She experienced a surge of excitement, Nathan had thought of her. She scolded herself. Of course he’d thought of her; he was keeping her sweet in case she changed her mind about letting him use Ravenscourt for his Christmas brochure.
‘Oh, Heavens…’ Gloria jumped forward. Tess was standing at the foot of the staircase behind them, holding on to the newel post, her eyes half-closed as if she would faint. The two women rushed to her and led her back to the living room. Lowering her gently on to the sofa, Lorna lifted her legs so she was lying down. Gloria pushed some cushions under her head.
‘Would you like some tea?’ Gloria said. ‘Hot, sweet tea, good for shocks. Or shall I call someone, a doctor even?’
Tess shook her head, her eyes closed, her face ridged with strain. ‘No thank you, I shouldn’t have come. I just hoped…’ her voice tailed away.
Lorna sat down on the floor beside her. She dared not look at Gloria to voice her fear that Tess, following her out, had overheard her warning not to mention the coming baby. ‘I will talk to Flora again,’ she said feebly.
It was heartbreaking. What were they to do? Pretend they were talking about someone else, or tell her the truth? Tess would soon find out about Flora’s pregnancy, you couldn’t keep that hidden. But Ben should have told her. Lorna bit back her anger. He was a weak man, unable to face up to his responsibilities. It was an unpleasant thing to accept that her own daughter had seduced Ben, and through her own carelessness, got pregnant.
‘I must go now,’ Tess struggled up.
‘But do you feel strong enough, would you like some tea?’ Lorna said, moving towards the kitchen.
‘No… no thank you,’ Tess stood up. ‘I’m sorry to have disturbed you, only I… well, I didn’t know what else to do.’ She bit her lip to stop her tears.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Lorna said, feeling terrible about the situation.
‘I’m afraid life can be pretty bloody,’ Gloria said. ‘But take it from us, you can get over most things, or anyway learn to live around them. Relationships end, you know, as well as begin.’
Tess said shyly, as if confessing something shameful, ‘I love him. I want Flora to leave him alone.’
‘I know,’ Gloria sighed, catching Lorna’s eye, ‘and love makes it hurt even more. But sometimes we are mistaken and love the man we thought he was, or even what we want him to be.’
It was a hard thing to accept Lorna thought. The three of them here had been badly let down by the men they’d loved. Charming, loving Adrian had turned into a drunken sot, Stephen, the love of her life, was now an aging lecher and Ben who, no doubt, was loving and charming once, had, through weakness, and, she must admit, Flora, brought this anguish to his wife.
Tess seemed to have found some strength. ‘I want you to tell your daughter to let him go,’ she said firmly, as if Flora was holding Ben hostage somewhere. She stared at the floor, and lowering her voice, confided, ‘Some of it may be my fault. We wanted children and none came so I’d been undergoing IVF. It made me difficult to live with. Then, when it didn’t work, I suppose he found it hard being with me, and the disappointment.’ She looked up at them both, willing them to understand.
Lorna swallowed a lump in her throat. Flora should be here to see what pain and chaos she’d unwittingly caused.
Gloria said. ‘It must have been hell for you, I’m so sorry.’
‘But we do have a future together,’ Tess said with determination. ‘I know we do, but we need a chance. If you could keep your daughter here over Christmas, we could be together. We could start again, talk about adoption.’ Her eagerness smote Lorna’s heart. Should they now tell her about the child? She could not. She tensed, wondering if Gloria would break it to her, but she stayed silent, looking thoughtful.
‘If you could keep her here for Christmas, we’ll go away together. My sister has a holiday cottage in Wales she’d lend us.’ This idea had suddenly dawned upon Tess, giving her hope. She got up, gathering her things. ‘Thank you both so much for listening. Relationships do go through terrible times don’t they? Only the strong ones survive them, and I know ours is strong.’
Gloria got up and took her hand. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘only the strong ones survive.’
The two women did not look at each other as Tess left, though Lorna knew they were both thinking the same thing. Tess was going to need an enormous amount of strength to survive this, and what would she do when the baby was born?
When she’d had gone, Gloria said with feeling, ‘Looks like this Christmas is going to be an important turning point for quite a few of us. By this time next year, I wonder which of us will still be standing.’
16
At The End Of Her Tether
Perhaps she was having a nervous breakdown. Gloria massaged her temples. Her head was throbbing; her thoughts skittering all over the place. Her brain had had enough, was opting out, and who could blame it, with all she had to cope with?
After a troubled night waiting and worrying about Adrian, he’d been bought home by ‘one of the twilight people’, as she called them, who inhabited his world; a fellow drinker or some kind guardian angel, she didn’t know. Though his wallet was not with him she was relieved that he was back. Drunk out of his mind, but alive to drink another day, she thought darkly, scolding herself for not being tougher with him. She should be above caring what the neighbours thought of her, but she wasn’t or she’d leave him outside slumped on the doorstep for all to see.
He had been found among some dustbins behind the Savoy Hotel. ‘At least he chose a more upmarket place this time, well, if he’d been drinking there,’ Gloria remarked dryly as she told Lorna when she’d rung, an hour ago, to discuss their trip to Ravenscourt the following morning.
‘Oh Glory, I’m so sorry. You sound exhausted. Do you want to come? Will you feel up to the trip? I don’t know how long we’ll stay down there.’
‘I’ll come if it’s the last thing I do, our plan’s got to work, Lorna. I don’t care what it takes; he cannot be here for Christmas.’ She put the phone down then, overcome with fury.
She’d pulled Adrian into the house and shut the door and he’d collapsed, becoming wedged across their narrow hall. He was a dead weight so she left him there to sleep it off, and went upstairs to bed and tried to sleep. This couldn’t go on. She, and indeed their doctor, had tried to make him get help, but it was impossible. Not until something serious happened to him might something be done, and by then it might be too late.
She was woken at dawn by the doorbell. Pulling on her dressing gown, she ran down the stairs. Adrian was still on the floor and she had to clamber over him to open the door. It was a delivery boy who looked about twelve. He peered behind her while she signed for the parcel.
‘‘ave yer murdered ‘im?’ he said ghoulishly, trying to see further into the house.
‘I’ll murder you,’ she muttered, shutting the door and giving Adrian a kick with her bare foot to wake him up.
She’d showered and dressed before Lorna rang with the plans to go to Ravenscourt tomorrow for Nathan’s photo shoot and now she sat in the kitchen drinking black coffee, trying to quieten her mind. She’d taken the phone off the hook, knowing Lorna would ring back to try and comfort her. This kindness would be her undoing, make her cry, and once she started she wouldn’t be able to stop.
She heard the front door open and close and half rose, thinking that Adrian had revived and escaped to go on another bender.
’Oh D
ad, how could you?’ She heard Justin say. She tore into the hall to grab him before, disgusted at the sight of his father, he turned tail and fled. Not that she would blame him, but she hadn’t seen him for ages and she couldn’t bear to have him leave in anger.
‘How wonderful to see you, I didn’t think you were back until the weekend.’
‘Just passing through, thought I’d come and see you,’ he said, his face racked with disgust and pain. He tried not to look at his father as he slunk past him in the narrow space between Adrian’s now curled-up body and the wall. ‘How long has he been like that? Can’t we get him to hospital or some drying out place? It’s disgusting, Mum.’
He reached her and she hugged him, her skinny, lovely boy. She bit back her tears. She could not lose him; could not bear it if he stopped coming home, afraid of what he would find.
He broke free from her embrace. ‘I can’t stay long, but any hope of some breakfast? I haven’t eaten since yesterday.’
‘Of course, let’s go into the kitchen. Tell me all you’ve been doing, it’s so lovely to see you. I’m sorry you had to find your father like that, but he’ll …’ She looked at him and they both knew he would not be all right unless he went for proper help and that would not happen until he admitted he had a problem. ‘Why should I join a whole lot of addicts,’ he’d said, when they’d tried to insist he went to Alcoholics Anonymous. ‘I’m not like them, I can stop any time.’
She scurried about the kitchen, relieved she’d done a shop yesterday. She had bacon, sausages and eggs so she set to, cooking him a huge breakfast, while he slumped in a chair, exhausted from too much socializing.
She told him about Ravenscourt. ‘Lorna had a surprise inheritance, though, poor house, it needs so much doing to it,’ she said, going on to tell him about the house and Nathan using it to shoot his Christmas brochure.
Difficult Husbands Page 13
