“It is, most of the time. But the pack complicates this a little.”
“How so?”
“There’s a kind of… rule we have, I guess… that forbids me from being with someone who isn’t like me.”
“What does that mean? Someone who isn’t like you? I am like you.”
“No, you’re not. You’re better than me.”
Addie didn’t understand, but the thought of not being able to be with Jason made her heart hurt. Last Friday, she had been nervous about starting a romantic relationship with Jason, nervous of their obvious and fast connection. But after today, she realized why him avoiding her for the last week had been so hurtful: she really really liked him.
Last Friday she was being stupid, still thinking about Todd. Now she realized she wasn’t at all okay with just being friends with Jason. Why would she care about Todd when there was this strange, mysterious, handsome, kind, romantic guy right in front of her?
She wanted more. She wanted Jason. But somehow his “pack” was preventing that.
She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to reassure him that she wasn’t better than him, that him and her were just alike. That they belonged together, because what else could it mean that they’d found each other and clicked so fast?
She didn’t know how to reassure him. So she squeezed his hand instead and hoped he understood.
He cleared his throat and broke his intense gaze into the water. “I guess it’s a good thing we’re just friends.”
Yeah. Good thing we’re just friends.
Chapter 6
Addie drove up the road leading to the address Jason had given her. It was far out of the city limits and deep in the mountains, and she had been worried that she had possibly keyed the wrong address into her GPS.
The road had eventually turned from asphalt to gravel, and then from gravel to dirt. But then she had pulled up to a clearing in the thick forest where there were six cabins, almost identical, aligned down either side of the road.
The cabins looked old but seemed well taken care of. She parked in front of the last cabin on the right, next to Jason’s truck. She could see light and movement behind the curtains of the front window.
Addie took a deep breath before checking her makeup in the rearview mirror one more time and trying to reassure herself that the night would go fine. Jason had invited her to a barbecue to officially meet his pack. She had been a little confused about the invitation after their talk underneath the waterfall that morning, considering his pack forbid him from dating her. But she jumped at the chance to spend more time with him, and it wasn’t weird for friends to do barbecues together, right?
And maybe, just maybe, if his pack liked her enough, they’d approve of their relationship.
Great, now she was nervous again.
This was it. She had to make a good impression.
Just as she reached for the car door handle, the door opened. Addie jumped as a huge, burly, tall man dipped his head in. He had wild eyes and a giant smile on his face.
“Are you Addie?”
His eyes glowed a bright, inhuman blue. She would have been afraid had his facial expression not looked like a kid meeting Santa Claus. Speechless, Addie only nodded.
“SHE’S HERE! GUYS! SHE’S HERE!” he shouted over his shoulder, and Addie winced at the volume. This guy had a pair of lungs.
He held out a hand, which she hesitantly took, and he practically jerked her out of the car.
She turned to see two men jogging toward her, equally tall and burly. The shorter of the two got to her first and lifted her off the ground in a giant bear hug.
“Holy shit, you really exist.” The other man said from behind him.
Addie heard the screen door of the cabin behind her slam. “Put her down.” Jason’s voice rang out through the clearing, and the man immediately sat her on the ground. Addie looked back at Jason, and he was shaking his head.
He looked at her apologetically, but then surprised her by pulling her into a hug and kissing her forehead. When he let her go, she held on to his arm, afraid that without some kind of anchor, the butterflies in her stomach would make her fall over.
“Sorry, Jase,” said the guy that had just put Addie down. He turned to Addie with an outstretched hand. “I’m Luke.” Addie took his hand to shake it and he averted his eyes to the ground like he was honestly ashamed of his enthusiastic outburst.
“It’s okay, it’s nice to meet you, Luke,” Addie said. He looked up to meet her eyes and beamed.
“I’m Zane.” Said the guy who had opened her car door. “He’s a good guy, but doesn’t know boundaries with strangers.” He said, cocking his head toward Luke.
“That’s rich, coming from the guy who almost ripped her arm off dragging her out of the car.” Said the other man. “I’m Rowan.” He said with a smile and nod.
“And this is almost everybody,” Jason said. “Except Tanner. He’s out back getting the fire started. Are you hungry?”
“Oh, worried about feeding her, huh?” Zane snickered. Jason shot him a look as Addie cocked her eyebrow, not fully understanding.
“Oh, he’s just making fun of Jason because he wants to feed you. Like you’re his mate.” Said Luke matter-of-factly.
“It isn’t as funny if you explain the joke,” Zane said, though he snickered even more.
“Okay, enough, we’ll meet you guys in a few minutes, I want to show Addie around.” Jason said, clearly wanting to get away and embarrassed by his pack’s antics.
Luke pouted at the order but walked off. Zane winked at Addie as Rowan tugged on his shirt to drag him away.
Addie giggled at the trio, thinking about how it was good that they seemed to like her. But with how friendly and excited they were to meet her, it confused her that she wasn’t allowed to date Jason. Maybe Tanner, who she remembered as his cousin from the bar, was the one she needed to worry about.
And then Addie’s cheeks flushed at the word Luke’s use of the word mate. “What does that mean?” she asked when she thought they were out of hearing range. She didn’t have to clarify—Jason knew exactly what she was asking.
“I just like you a lot, and they know it.” He said dismissively, and then he grabbed her hand and led her to his cabin.
“You want to feed me?” she was smiling wider now, enjoying Jason’s obvious discomfort at his pack revealing his feelings.
“I just want to take care of you. I don’t like when you’re hungry. When you need something, I want to get it for you.”
Addie smiled as the butterflies in her stomach came back. Jason may sometimes have an awkward way of saying things, but she understood him just fine. She could be awkward too. It was just another thing that made her like his company.
He held the screen door open and ushered her inside.
His cabin wasn’t at all what she expected. It was open, with tall vaulted ceilings and dark stained wooden beams stretching from one end of the cabin to the other. There were few furnishings, but the ones he had, she could tell were high quality. Simple decorations, but more attention had been paid to the décor than what one would expect from a typical bachelor. And it was tidy, which was a plus.
There was a little kitchen in the back-left corner that was dated, but like the rest of the cabin, well kept.
“Wow, this is really nice, Jason.”
He beamed at her compliment, like it was important to him that she approved of his house.
“I’ll show you the rest.”
She followed him as he showed her the master bedroom off the kitchen area, then the spare bedroom and bathroom on the other side of the house. Then he led her up the stairs to a loft area that overlooked the living space below.
There was an empty desk and bookshelf by a window overlooking a beautiful view of the surrounding mountains.
Addie stood in front of the window, mesmerized by the view.
“Do you like it?” Jason said quietly, watching her face.
“I love
it. Do you hang out up here often?”
“Not really. But I thought maybe you could. You know, if you wanted to do your journalism stuff up here, you could use the desk and stuff.”
“You want me to work up here?” She searched his face, not sure what to make of his offer.
“Oh, I mean, if you wanted to spend time here. Like if you wanted to get out of your cabin or something.”
He was cute when he was embarrassed and trying to cover up his tracks.
Addie giggled. “I wouldn’t mind hanging around here. Everyone seems nice so far.”
He sighed in relief. “They are. They all love you already.”
“When will I get to meet Tanner?” Addie asked. Her nerves over meeting him were eating her up inside. He had to be the one that made the decision of whether she could date Jason.
“He’ll love you too. For sure. He’s my cousin and best friend.”
“Oh, good.” She said, sighing. The confidence in his voice made her feel a little better.
Jason pulled her into another hug and kissed her on the nose.
***
Jason sighed in relief that Addie approved of his den. Part of the reason he’d invited her to the bonfire was to see what she really thought of his den and his pack. It was one thing to like the idea of the pack, but a whole other thing to put up with them willingly.
She had seemed to find his pack’s antic’s endearing so far. That was a good sign.
He had sensed her nervousness at meeting them, though she had nothing to worry about. They would love her no matter what. She was impossible not to love.
And now, she had just given approval to the space he’d set up for her. His wolf chuffed with happiness inside. All he wanted was for Addie to enjoy herself tonight. That’s all he could give her if they could only ever be friends.
But he was getting nervous about her questions. They were popping up more and more, and he wasn’t sure what to say now.
His wolf snarled at him, reminding him that Addie had wanted him to open up to her. And he had promised he would.
But there was no way he could tell her everything.
He’d have to toe a fine line, telling her enough to satisfy her curiosity while still keeping enough secret to keep her around.
He grabbed paper plates and napkins from the kitchen and put his hand on her lower back, leading her back outside. She smiled up at him when he touched her.
He loved the way her eyes and nose crinkled when she smiled or laughed. The way her hips swayed when she walked. The way she moved, gracefully like a dancer.
She had no idea how she affected him, did she?
“Everyone is out back, this way.” He said, clearing his throat and covertly adjusting himself in his pants. They walked down the gravel path toward the clearing that bordered the forest behind their cabins.
There was a big firepit in the center of the clearing, and someone had already gotten a roaring fire going. Folding chairs were set up around the firepit. Rowan and Luke were arguing about something or other like always, Zane was fishing beers out of a cooler, and Tanner was manning the grill.
Jason led Addie up to Tanner and took a deep breath. Tanner looked hesitant and Jason could smell Addie’s nervousness. Tanner must have smelled her nervousness too, because his eyes were bright green, a sure sign his wolf was close to the surface. Jason, without thinking, snarled a little in warning. Addie looked up at him in confusion.
He tried to play it off like it was nothing. “Addie, this is Tanner.”
Tanner put out his hand and Addie politely shook it. “Hi,” she said quietly and timidly. So fucking cute.
“Glad to have you around, Addie. We’ve been wondering when Jason would invite you over.”
Addie beamed. “I’m glad I’ve finally officially met everyone.”
Addie and Tanner made small talk while Jason loaded up two plates high with steak, grilled asparagus, and fruit salad. Small talk was the best Jason could hope for with Tanner and Addie. Tanner wasn’t a talker, especially with people he’d just met. But Tanner was trying, and Jason had known Tanner long enough to know that meant he already approved of Addie.
Jason ushered Addie over to two chairs by the fire and underneath the shade of the tree line. But as Jason was walking away, Tanner put his hand on his shoulder to signal him to wait a second.
“Hey man, she’s really great. I’m really happy for you.” Jason could see the sincerity in Tanner’s eyes, but deep down it unsettled him.
Deep down he knew what that look meant. Tanner was partly happy because Jason had found a woman he really liked, and partly because he thought finding Addie meant Jason would challenge him for alpha soon.
He hated to disappoint his best friend, but he had sworn that he’d never challenge him for alpha all those years ago. And he still meant it, even if Tanner thought maybe Jason’s mind had changed by now.
They all sat around the fire, eating, joking, and talking. Addie was shy at first but warmed up to the boys quickly. He had been a little worried, but Addie surprised him. The pack could really rib on someone, but apparently she could dish it back out. She held her own amongst his rowdy, loud, and sometimes too rough-around-the-edges pack, and that made her even more beautiful in his eyes.
And soon Jason’s wolf was settled again, happy and comfortable, sitting right beside Addie and hanging out with all the people he cared for most in the world. And Jason couldn’t help but think about what it meant that Addie fit in so well in the pack.
The sun had set and though it was summer, it was a little chilly at night up in his pack’s mountains. Addie shivered and Jason took the opportunity to put his arm around her.
“Well, it’s that time, guys.” Tanner said, buzzed from all the beer.
Rowan rolled his eyes but had a smile on his face. “Addie, you’ll realize real quick that anytime alcohol and fire are involved, these two just have to be the center of attention.”
Addie laughed and snuggled closer to Jason. He had his arm around her.
“Yeah, they like to make noise and howl. Like wolves.” Luke said, matter-of-factly. Of everyone in his pack, Luke had spent the least amount of time around humans, so he tended to be less tight-lipped about their secret than he should. Jason glared at him, but Luke didn’t notice.
Jason shifted in his seat uncomfortably. The conversation was getting a little too close to the subject he’d been carefully avoiding all night.
“Can’t let this talent go to waste, and my animal don’t want to be down at the bar performing every night. We’d rather be up here out in the forest.” Zane slurred. Then he froze a millisecond and made eye contact with Jason, realizing what he’d just said.
Addie straightened up and out of Jason’s arm. She turned to him, confused. “His animal?”
Jason opened his mouth and racked his brain for an answer, but nothing was coming.
He could feel Addie pulling away from him. He had promised to open up to her, to be more honest with her, and here he was, still keeping secrets. The look of disappointment on her face ripped him apart from the inside out.
She probably thought he was keeping things from her because he wasn’t sure he wanted to be around her. But that was far from the truth. He was hiding his true self for selfish reasons—he didn’t want to scare her away.
“Hey Addie, can you sing?” Zane asked as he tuned his banjo. Jason narrowed his eyes and fought back a growl.
“Uh, no, not really.” Addie said uncomfortably. “I haven’t sung since high school chorus class.”
“So you do sing!” Rowan said.
Jason tensed up. “Guys, if she doesn’t want to sing, don’t pressure her.”
“I bet you’re a great singer. I can tell by your voice,” said Tanner. “You know Wagon Wheel?”
“Well, yes actually…”
“I’ll sing the first and last verse if you sing the second. We can sing the chorus together.” Zane said.
Jason was sure Addie would ref
use, but she surprised him. “Well okay, but be prepared for your ears to bleed. I warned you.” Addie said, jokingly.
“You don’t have to sing if you don’t want.” Jason whispered in her ear as she sat straight up.
“It’s okay. Just don’t judge me.” She said with a small smile. He watched her, surprised at her sudden courageousness.
His pack wouldn’t care how good or bad her singing voice was. Like wolves, they just liked howling and making noise. But she didn’t know that.
Tanner strummed the first chords of the song on his guitar, and then Zane joined in on the banjo.
As Zane sang the first verse, Jason could feel the anxiety coming off Addie in waves. He half expected her to chicken out and not sing the chorus, but sure enough she jumped right in when it was her turn.
Jason watched her in awe as she sang. He was surprised by just how beautiful her voice was. She sang high and clear, just like Zane predicted, and everyone perked up, listening intently, mesmerized. He’d never heard nor seen someone as beautiful as Addie.
This was the moment.
The moment he decided being friends was for the birds.
He was absolutely in love with Addie. Being friends would never be enough. He needed more. And he’d do whatever it took and wait however long for Addie to get over Todd.
He’d have to tell her everything. Explain about his wolf, about the stupid pack law preventing them from being together. And he was terrified. What if she ran away screaming at the monster he actually was?
It didn’t matter. No matter how afraid he was of losing her, he couldn’t be with her at all if he didn’t tell her everything. He couldn’t go through life with that “what-if”. His wolf wouldn’t allow it, and the man in him wouldn’t either.
She deserved so much more than him, but maybe by some miracle she’d be okay with what he was. He’d have to try. There was no other option.
The song ended, and the pack clapped and cheered. She sat back down next to Jason, breathless. “How did I do?”
“You were great.” He said, choking down his emotions.
“Great? You were amazing!” Zane said, and everyone nodded in agreement.
Greystone Alpha Page 5
