Long Time Running

by Foster, Hannah

"Yeah" he nodded, fisting her shirt. "Best birthday ever," he added tiredly. "Mom?"

  "Yes baby?"

  "Can you tell me about the day I was born?"

  Back in Tanzania, during the nights when sleep was impossibility she used to dream of a reunion with him, one where he would forgive her for the choice she made and in which she would tell him in no uncertain terms how much he was loved. Without fail, the night before his birthday she would always dream of his birth and remember those moments when she saw him for the very first time.

  Inhaling sharply, she nodded. Stroking his hair she smiled lovingly at him. "You were born at night," she began. "It was a Thursday and it was eight days past the day we thought you were coming."

  "I didn't want to come out?" he asked, his green eyes wide with anticipation.

  "You didn't seem to be in a rush," she replied with a grin. "I think you found it pretty comfy in my belly. And since you didn't seem to be in a rush, your Aunt Sarah and I went out to dinner."

  "What happened?"

  She continued to run her fingers through his hair, almost in disbelief at how much it was like his father's. "We were at the restaurant and I got a pain in my tummy. The pain got stronger and stronger and so we decided it was you telling me that you wanted out."

  "Did I hurt you?" he asked worriedly.

  "No, my love. It was just your way of letting me know that it was time to go to the hospital. So Aunt Sarah got the car and drove us while I talked to you, asking you to just wait until we got there."

  "So now I was in a rush?" Sleepy tones were shadowing his voice.

  Chuckling softly, she nodded. "Yes, now you were in a rush."

  "So what happened?"

  "We got to the hospital and they took me to the special room for Mommies. And after two hours you came into the world. You had thick black hair and your face was all scrunched up. You let out a small cry and they put you on my chest and you squirmed and squiggled until I touched your back." Placing her hand on his back, she slowly rubbed it. "Like this."

  "Then what did I do?" he asked, wide-eyed.

  "Then you sighed and started to go back to sleep." She continued to rub his back and watched as his eyes fluttered closed. Within minutes soft ruffles of his breath echoed through the room.

  Leaning in, she kissed his cheek. "I love you Jack," she whispered. "Always."

  Having disentangled herself from his grip, she pulled his blankets up around him and kissed him one more time before padding softly to the door. She stopped short as she saw Eric leaning against the doorframe. He stepped out of the way, letting her pass, before closing the door behind her.

  "No epidural?" he asked.

  She shook her head. "There was no time. My water broke in the restaurant and by the time we got to the hospital I was already 8 centimeters."

  "You're pretty tough," he teased.

  Laughing lightly she shook her head. "I didn't feel very tough; it hurt like hell. Ask Sarah - there were several very bad words that flew from lips. I think the nurses wanted to wash my mouth out with soap."

  Taking her by the hand, he led her down the hall and back to the living room. Shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other, she smiled nervously.

  "I...I should get going, it's late."

  "You could stay," he offered without thinking.

  Arching her eyebrow, she looked at him curiously. "And where would I sleep?"

  "With me," he replied softly.

  "Eric," she sighed. "No one understands better than me what an emotional day - week - this has been. It's his birthday and the first one in which you are openly his father. You're...you're feeling something towards me that is rooted in all that today represents-"

  "That's not it," he interjected. "I miss you" he said. "And I know...I know there is more that you'd like me to say but I just can't, not yet. But I do miss you. I'll admit that I have missed being with you, after all the sex between us has always been good." Seeing the incredulous look on her face, he amended his statement with a smile. "I mean great."

  "Damn straight it is" she told him, a playful smile tugging on the corners of her mouth.

  "But it's more than that," he told her more seriously. "I miss having you in my arms. Those nights in the hospital - very little has felt as right as those couple of nights where you were wrapped around me."

  With that he tugged her to him as his lips found hers. Nathalie moaned softly in submission as her body instantly melded to his. The sense of peace Nathalie felt when she was with him never ceased to amaze. All the years and all the running and it all boiled down to this. Eric.

  His tongue mated with hers as she felt his warm hands slip under her shirt. Instinctively, she pressed herself closer to him and felt his hard length pressed against her belly. He placed gentle kissed across her throat as she began to rock her hips instinctively against him.

  "Eric," she broke off, panting heavily. "Sleeping with me because you miss me..." she trailed off, struggling to gain her composure. "That's okay for tonight" she offered, "but what happens tomorrow?

  "I'm not sure," he replied honestly.

  "Eric, do you like me? I don't mean the woman I used to be but who I am now - a little battered and bruised with a decent sized amount of baggage that I carry with me. Do you like me as a person?"

  "Of what I know, I do." He smoothed a stray piece of hair off her cheek. "I see a strong, loving, resilient woman who survived more than any person has to endure." He paused to bring each of hands to his lips for a gentle kiss. "I see the mother of my child who did what she thought best to protect him."

  Smiling, she brought his hand to her lips and kissed it in return. "Thank you," she whispered emotionally. "And I like what I know of the man you are now. So let's....let's go on a date. Let's get to know each other again."

  "Does this mean...are you staying?"

  "In New York? Yes," she chuckled softly at the excitement in his eyes. "Tonight? No."

  "Damn." He pulled into his arms, held her tightly to him and nuzzled her neck. "Okay," he agreed. "I'm working tomorrow but let's make plans for Sunday."

  "I'd like that." She carefully extricated herself from his arms before her heart overruled her head. Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed his cheek. "Thank you for an amazing day."

  Having slipped out the door, she leaned against the wall and closed her hand around her locket, exhaling. "I think I might finally be home," she whispered to herself.

  Chapter 25

  Sitting on the edge of her bed, Sarah watched in amusement as Nathalie changed her top for the seventh time. Her sister had always been a supremely confident person, even as a child, but to watch her reject every piece of clothing she had brought with her and several from Sarah's closet was something she had never quite seen before.

  "You know, not to put too fine a point on it, but you two used to live together and he saw you in a hospital gown as recently as a week ago," she teased.

  Standing in her bra and jeans, she turned from the mirror to her sister and sighed. "I'm being neurotic, aren't I?"

  "Just a little," she grinned. "It's kind of fun to watch."

  "I..I want to make a good impression, which is stupid I know."

  Sarah shook her head as she got to her feet. "It's not stupid but I think you should stop stressing yourself out over it or you're going to be exhausted before you even meet up with him." Pulling open the closet door, she retrieved a soft knit top and passed it to her. "I think this should do the trick and purple is a great color on you."

  Gratefully accepting it, she pulled it over her head and admired the way it draped against her. "As always, you're right." Slipping into a pair of sandals she grabbed her purse and turned to her sister. "Any final words of wisdom?"

  "Just relax and have fun," she told her, hugging her sister warmly.

  Nathalie practically skipped out of the apartment and headed down the street to the deli where she picked up her pre-packed picnic basket. Eric had called from work yesterday suggesting
a picnic for their date. The adjustment to the noise and the pace of the city was taking some work so she had been grateful for the plan and offered to take care of the logistics.

  Grabbing the basket and two coffees she headed towards his apartment. Standing outside his door, she took a deep breath before knocking. As Eric stood before her in white golf shirt and a pair of battered jeans slung low on his hips she was sure she had not seen a more beautiful man in her life. Her heart leapt to her throat.

  "H-hi" she stammered.

  Smiling lazily, he waved her inside the apartment. "Hey, yourself. You look great," he told her huskily.

  "I, uh, I brought you a coffee," she said as she nervously thrust the drink towards him. Miscalculating his reaction time, she watched in horror as the hot beverage splashed against the front of his shirt. "Oh my god!" she cried.

  Laughing, Eric shook his head. "Nice to see history repeats itself," he teased, enjoying the warm flush in her cheeks.

  "I am so sorry," she apologized quickly as she placed the other coffee on the table and the basket on the floor and cradled her head in her hands. "I am such an idiot."

  "Nat, don't worry about it okay? No harm, no foul." Peeling the shirt from his body, he headed down the hall. "Just give me a couple of minutes to change and then we can head out."

  Muttering to herself at her own stupidity as she rooted around the kitchen for some paper towel, she wiped up the coffee from the floor and disposed of what was left. Feeling embarrassed she walked to his bedroom.

  "Eric I really am sorry," she told him, stopping in her tracks as he turned around, shirtless. Unconsciously she licked her lips at the sight, eliciting a smirk from him in response.

  Slinging his hands on his hips, he grinned. "Seriously Nat, stop fretting. I already knew you were a goofball and this just confirms it." He laughed as she rolled her eyes. "It's kind of nice to know some things don't change."

  Appreciatively eyeing his lean frame, she nodded. "I agree."

  "Like what you see?" he asked teasingly.

  Let out a shaky breath, she nodded again. "I always have when it comes to you."

  Crossing the room in two strides, Eric cupped her face and kissed her passionately. Her hands swept across his bare chest as he backed them up against the wall, their mouths still fused together.

  Breathless, they broke the kiss but their bodies remain pressed together. "We don't have to go out," he panted. "We can stay in for our date."

  Gathering what self control she could muster, she placed her hands against his chest and slowly shook her head. "We can't," she sighed.

  "Oh but we can," he told her, nipping at her lips.

  "This," she said, gesturing between them, "always works for us. But if we're going to have a shot at anything more than this we can't just fall in to bed."

  He smiled ruefully stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers. "Okay but then you're going to need to wait for me in the living room because I can't be this close to you and a bed and think clearly."

  Standing on her tip toes she stole a quick kiss. "Okay. And maybe you could try and look a little less hot?"

  "No chance," he grinned, stepping away from her. "I kind of like torturing you."

  "Meanie." She stuck her tongue out at him before slipping from the room and back down the hall.

  #

  They had walked hand in hand to Central Park with Eric taking the opportunity to point out some of his favorite buildings and cafés along the way until they found the perfect patch of grass by a tree to set down their blanket.

  Conversation flowed easily between them, as it always had, with Jack being the principal source of discussion. As Nathalie unpacked their picnic Eric stretched out on the blanket and watched her with open admiration.

  "Stop looking at me like that," she admonished him jokingly as she peeled off a container top.

  "Like what?" he asked with faux innocence.

  "Like you're...you're hungry or something."

  Leaning up on an elbow he grinned wickedly. "I'm famished."

  She shook her head in disbelief as she tucked her legs underneath her. Pulling a grape from the stem, she popped it in her mouth. "So tell me about the women."

  "What women?"

  "The women you dated."

  "There really weren't that many of them," he told her quietly. "Andrew used to get so angry with me because I would end things just as soon as they began."

  She wasn't sure she wanted the answer but could not quite keep herself from asking. "How come?"

  Dropping his gaze to the blanket, he pulled at the imaginary threads. "Because they weren't you," he confessed. "You are a pretty hard act to follow."

  Her cheeks flushed slightly at the admission. "So are you. I'm not sure what it means but when I would have my nightmares or my freak outs in Mbamba I could barely stand Keith touching me - any time he would try to hold me I'd push him away. At most he would just hold my hand and try and soothe me. But it's different with you."

  He gave a wry smile. "I don't think I give you a choice."

  "It's more than that though. My body, my heart....they recognize you and I guess I just know everything is okay if I'm with you."

  Leaning against the tree trunk he held out his hand to her and beckoned her to him. Picking up the container of grapes she crawled across the blanket and settled in against him, sighing happily as his arms encircled her. She held a grape to his lips and smiled as he accepted it.

  He dropped a kiss to her shoulder. "Tell me about Mbamba."

  Snuggling in further against him she closed her hands over his. "It's beautiful" she began. "It's been a good home to me. In our village we have this school that all the kids go to and they have a choir there. My house is near the school and every morning the wind carries their voices, these beautiful harmonies, through my window and I just...I feel warm from it."

  "Do you have friends?"

  She nodded. "I do. There's Mylea-"

  "She was with you...that night?"

  "She was. She had been working in the Congo for a year just to help out but she's originally from Mbamba. She is as tough as nails and as warm and loving as any one person can be."

  Tilting her head to the side she looked up at him. "She loved Jack," she said quietly. "She was the one who fed him and changed him when I couldn't. And she held me when I fell to pieces after he and Sarah left."

  Eric said little for a few moments, simply tightening his arms around her.

  "I'm glad you weren't alone."

  "I wouldn't say I was living a full life but I had managed to build something small for myself. I was...am...very proud of the work we do at our hospital. And despite what you may think it wasn't all doom and gloom - there are people there that I care for there and with whom I have some good memories."

  "Is it not a full life because of Jack?"

  "And you," she added.

  Too much time - too many years, too many memories - had passed for her to be less than honest with him. It would be easier to protect her heart and be cagey with her feelings until she was sure of his but she could not afford to play any more games. She had spent years holding back from him and felt that she owed him the truth, unvarnished and unspun.

  "Oh?" he asked with a slight tremble to his voice.

  "You told me....you told me that you had tried to hate me-"

  "And that I couldn't," he added quickly.

  "I know" she replied softly. "Well I tried to forget you. To forget everyone. I was sure if I could just pretend that part of my life had never existed then I would be okay."

  "And you weren't?"

  "No" she said hoarsely. Turning in his arms, she looked at him and softly stroked his cheek. "It's simply not possible to forget you."

  "Did you mean what you said on the hospital roof?"

  "When I said I was still in love with you?"

  He nodded.

  "Yes," she rasped. "I have loved you since the day I met you."

  He dipped his h
ead and closing his mouth over hers, kissed her softly.

  "You're pretty unforgettable too," he whispered, his mouth still hovering over hers.

  Chapter 26

  Nathalie thumbed through the apartment listings the agent had given her before tossing them on the coffee table next to the two letters of interest she had received from both Manhattan General and Mercy Hospital. It had been a handful of weeks since she had been released and while there was little doubt in her mind that she was staying in New York with her son and hopefully, with Eric, there was also a desire to start normalizing her life. That meant finding a home for her and Jack and finding a job, neither of which was proving very easy.

  There had been at least three dates a week with Eric and a few more family nights sometimes with both Andrew and Sarah as well. They were all adjusting to each other and slowly finding their respective places. And while she was sticking to her guns that she and Eric needed to get reacquainted before giving in to unavoidable pull between them, it was becoming more and more difficult to resist. She found herself dreaming about him more often than she cared to admit. Kissing him was easily her favorite thing to do.

  Chuckling at her own desire, she leaned back against the couch and closed her eyes. She spoke to Mylea once a week and was grateful to hear her rich deep voice offer her both support and a kick in the pants. During their last phone call the older nurse reminded her that whether she knew it or not back then, she fought to survive to get back to where she was now and there was no time to waste.

  "Hey Nat, did you want to do something tonight?" Sarah asked as she came into the living room. She froze in her spot as she spied the real estate listings; a cold sweat trickled down her back. "Wh-what's all this?" she asked evenly as she tried to regain her composure.

  "Just a listing of some available apartments in the neighborhood " she replied, looking curiously at her sister. "There are even a few in this building."

  "You just got out of the hospital" she snapped. "You're in no position to move."

  Swinging her legs to the floor she leaned forward. "Sarah it's been almost a month. I'm not looking at moving next week. Most of the places don't become available for at least another month or two. Besides, Jack and I can't live here forever."