One day, Monty even rode beside her on one of the extra horses, possibly because she still wouldn’t ride in the coach with them. He didn’t seem to notice the disparity in their heights, with Snow a good three hands taller than his mount. She thought he might want to talk and hoped it wouldn’t be about that kiss, because her guards had only dropped back a little and still might be within hearing distance.
But Monty only said casually, “Another beautiful day. I am frankly amazed it hasn’t rained yet.”
“It probably will now that you’ve mentioned it!”
“Bite your tongue. This is going to be a delightful journey—in all ways.”
Monty’s grin turned into a smile. His green eyes seemed to sparkle in the sunshine, too. She blushed only a little, wondering if he was referring to her company. He looked especially handsome today, less formal than usual without his cravat, and his lawn shirt was open at the neck. But then it was a warm spring day, which was why she’d left off her cloak and hood, though they were within easy reach if they encountered any other travelers.
This was also the first time she was seeing him mounted, and since he didn’t seem at all nervous about it, she couldn’t help asking, “Did you learn to ride so well while you were in the army?”
“My unit wasn’t cavalry. As an officer, I had a horse, but none of my men did. No, I grew up riding in Suffolk.”
“I wish I had.”
He snorted before he scoffed, “You control that brute very well, so don’t tell me you haven’t been riding since you were an infant.”
“Don’t exaggerate, and no, my mother wouldn’t allow me to ride,” she said a bit bitterly.
“Had no stable?”
She didn’t want to talk about herself. But maybe he wouldn’t mind talking about himself. “So you grew up in Suffolk?”
“I did, near the coast. My siblings and I once tried to swim in the Channel, but it was too bloody cold and we never attempted it again. My sisters talked Father into having a pond dug for us near the manor. Even though it took several years to finish it and for it to fill with rainwater, it was worth the wait. We spent many a summer cavorting there.”
“Even your sisters?” she asked, surprised.
“Of course. You don’t know how to swim?”
She didn’t. That was another thing her mother wouldn’t allow her and her sisters to do. She shook her head.
“I could teach you.”
“I’m a bit old to learn.”
“Nonsense. The next body of water we pass—”
“No,” she cut in. “But thank you.”
“I might just toss you in when you least expect it,” he warned.
“I’m not going near water, and besides, my guards wouldn’t allow it.”
“I could throw you in when they aren’t looking.”
“Snow wouldn’t allow it.”
“Well, that’s different, I concede to the brute. But if you change your mind, just let me know.”
When? After they’d already gone their own ways? But he suddenly steered his horse a little closer to hers and she felt something on her head. When she glanced at him she saw that he’d stood up in his stirrups to reach her. Had he just caressed her hair with the Scots right behind them?
“What are you doing?” she asked, a little alarmed.
“It was a butterfly about to land on your head, attracted by that lovely bright copper color no doubt. I brushed it away for you.”
She glanced up and around her before saying, “I don’t see any butterfly.”
He laughed and said, “That’s a shame. It was beautiful.”
Another double entendre? Vanessa’s mood turned a little gloomy when she realized how much she was going to miss this man once their paths diverged. She’d also be parting with her two guards soon, not that she’d gotten to know them well enough to miss them.
But when she followed the two brothers into the stable next to the inn where they were staying that night, she did say to Donnan, “So you’ll return to Scotland after we reach Dawton Manor?”
“Nay, we’re with ye, lass, till ye marry.”
“But I thought—”
“Yer faither was specific. I dinna think he trusts his estranged wife tae keep ye safe.”
She was incredulous. Her father had encouraged her to return to Kathleen, so she’d assumed—wrongly, apparently—that he considered Kathleen’s care all the protection she needed here in England. But the more she thought about it, the more it made sense to her that he didn’t trust her mother even for that. She recalled what her father had said when she’d asked him a few years ago if he had forgiven her mother: “For my exile, which she is indirectly responsible for, I might forgive her one day. But I’ll never forgive her for betraying me and our marriage vows. That sort of pain can dim but will never be forgotten.”
Now her mother was on her mind to the exclusion of all else. There would be no hugs or kisses for her. For her sisters, Layla and Emily, yes, she was eager to see them. But she was afraid that the moment she saw Kathleen, she would revile her quite loudly, which would lead to a terrible fight. She didn’t want that to happen. It would make her stay at Dawton Manor intolerable.
Somehow, she was going to have to restrain herself from throwing down the gauntlet. She would have to pretend she didn’t hate her mother, pretend that Kathleen hadn’t single-handedly split their family apart. What, after all, could her mother say for herself if Vanessa did end up making the accusation?
With thoughts like that, she didn’t get much sleep that night and woke to rain blowing in the window she’d left open. At breakfast she gave Monty a smug smile and said, “I told you so,” blaming him for the downpour because she’d warned him that his gloating about the fine weather would bring rain.
She wouldn’t object to riding in the coach with him and Charley until it stopped, although he must have thought she would because as they left the inn, he reminded her, “I did warn you we would see rain, and I’m bloody well amazed it didn’t happen sooner, so no complaints. You’ll travel dry or you better have a very good reason why you won’t.”
“Did I say, ‘No, thank you’?”
“You were about to.”
She laughed. “No, I wasn’t.”
In the coach, Monty opened a deck of cards and told her, “I’ve been teaching Charley how to play whist, not that it’s a game he really needs to learn when we won’t be attending any parties where it might be played, but he expressed an interest in it. D’you play?”
“I know how, yes,” she replied. “My father taught me over a long winter, though we preferred chess, a game for two.”
“Yes, Charley is having a hard time grasping that whist is played with a partner to whom he can’t talk or hint about his hand.”
Vanessa nodded. “That would be cheating, Charley.”
The boy gave Monty a pointed look. “You could have said that instead of making me think some skill must be involved. I don’t cheat. If I cheated inadvertently, someone would need to be punished.”
Vanessa choked back a laugh, guessing, “Your teacher?”
“At least he didn’t say my head would roll,” Monty said bearishly.
She enjoyed watching them and listening to their bickering, which was much milder than it had been earlier in the week. She imagined Monty was growing fond of his charge. She’d grown fond of both of them. That she’d never see either of them again once they parted was a dismal thought.
The rain continued, so they ate lunch in the coach. Vanessa fell asleep afterward, having not gotten enough sleep last night. But she awoke when she heard Donnan’s loud voice outside. He was shouting something to Arlo, who seemed to be having difficulty hearing him over the pounding rain.
She straightened and realized she’d been resting her head on Monty’s shoulder, but she felt his hand gently guiding her head back to where it had been as he said, “I don’t mind. Go back to sleep, Nessi. You’re not the only one fatigued by all this rain.”
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Before she closed her eyes she saw Charley bundled in his fur cloak, asleep on the seat across from them. She must have slept again because a gust of damp air woke her this time and Monty was sternly saying to Arlo, who’d just opened the coach door for them, “Get the butler to open the front door so we can make a mad dash for it.”
She looked out the window next to the open coach door. It was still pouring rain, but she could see two rosebushes on either side of the wide double doors just like the ones she and her sisters had planted at their house, the mullioned windows above the entrance, the tan stone walls that rose for three stories, the two-story additions that jutted out on either side. It looked so much like her house. Could two houses really be identical?
Vanessa backed herself into the corner opposite the open door. She wasn’t getting out of that coach.
Chapter Fourteen
“WHY ARE YOU BACKING away?”
Vanessa stared at the hand Monty had extended to help her to the ground. Charley had already run for the house. She met Monty’s eyes now but was pretty much frozen with indecision and panic, so she didn’t move. She couldn’t go in there with him! He’d find out who she really was, which could ruin her and her family after he’d witnessed her scandalous behavior on this trip.
But when she didn’t answer him, Monty guessed, “If you’re that eager to part ways and continue your journey rather than wait for the rain to stop, I understand. You can use the coach and return it after you reach your destination. But be assured, you’re welcome to remain with us for a while. My hosts won’t mind another guest.”
But Donnan chose that moment to stick his head inside the coach to say, “That haity butler says yer trunks arrived, lass, and I’m no’ pleased that yer traveling companions appear tae have reached their destination, too.” He ended that with a distrustful glower at Monty.
“She needs a moment to compose herself, man. Big reunion and all that,” Monty told the Scot. But the moment Donnan moved away, he glanced back at Vanessa. “Well, this is a delightful surprise. So you’re either an earl’s daughter or your parents are servants. I’m leaning toward the former.”
She didn’t confirm it. Her panic was rising that a scandal would erupt if people found out she’d been traveling with his group—dressed as a boy. She evaded. “I haven’t been here for six years. They won’t recognize me.”
His eyes moved over her attire. “Or they won’t recognize you like that. D’you really have cold feet to find out whether they will or won’t?”
What she needed was time to figure out how to handle her homecoming. “Not a’tall,” she lied, even as she pulled her hood back up over her head. “But I’m not ready to reveal myself to them.”
Monty shook his head. “And here I thought we were done with that. Suit yourself—boy. I can keep your secret.”
Her heart leapt. “Really?”
“Depends for how long. I just don’t think you’ll be able to pull it off for very long, not with family. If it’s been only six years, they’ll recognize your face.” And then he chuckled. “It’s rude to wear a hood in a grand house like yours, you know.”
Annoyed that he could tease her at a time like this, she said rather sharply, “No one will notice me hiding behind your back when they have you to look at. There are a lot of women in that house. I’ll probably be overlooked and the housekeeper won’t even offer me a bloody room!”
He burst out laughing. “Who are you mad at, me, or yourself for turning coward?”
Ignoring his hand, she got out of the coach on her own and quickly followed him into the house. Only the butler was standing in the foyer. She didn’t recognize him, but the previous one had been old and must have retired. Still she stayed behind Monty’s back. Charley, who had changed into his brown wool cloak, was looking at a painting on the wall. The Scots were helping Arlo bring in some of the trunks, which formed a puddle just inside the door, so Monty moved into the adjoining hall to get out of the way. She and Charley followed him.
She heard footsteps on the grand stairs and looked in that direction. Her heart started pounding. She quickly tugged her hood down to hide more of her face and stepped behind Monty, using him as a shield. Her mother was coming down the stairs, dressed regally for the day. The cloak-like robe, made of a light white-and-blue material, mimicked a pelisse coat, opening to reveal the stylish dark blue empire dress underneath it. But then Kathleen was never taken unaware by visitors, was always at her best and always gracious no matter who she was greeting.
Vanessa carefully peeked out from behind Monty’s back to steal another glimpse of Kathleen. God, her mother appeared not to have changed at all! She was still beautiful with fashionable blond hair artfully arranged and adorned with jeweled pins, and pale blue eyes, which were identical to those of all three of her children. Tears welled up in Vanessa’s eyes. She used to love that woman—before Kathleen single-handedly tore their family apart.
When Monty lifted one arm, she stole another quick peek at her mother, who was holding out a hand in the usual manner, to be kissed or very lightly touched by whoever she was greeting.
“I presume Lord Mont—?”
Vanessa’s shield cut in. “Monty will do, and no titles please. My ward is Charley,” he said, and lightly slapped the boy on the back. “And the shy one behind me is Nestor.”
“I am Kathleen Blackburn, Countess of Dawton. You are most welcome in my home, gentlemen. I’m surprised Prince George remembered me, it was so long ago that we met in Brighton, where he took his holidays. But of course I was delighted by his request.”
“You understand our visit is to be clandestine?” Monty asked.
“Certainly. I will not be introducing you to my neighbors, and I will try to keep visitors to a minimum. My only worry is that you may get bored. We live quietly here.”
“Exactly what we need,” he assured his hostess with a slight bow.
The bow panicked Vanessa and made her turn about so Kathleen could only see the back of her hood. But that allowed her to see the housekeeper approaching, and she definitely recognized Mary Edwards. Anytime she and her sisters got a little rambunctious when their mother wasn’t around, Mrs. Edwards always caught them at it. And while she didn’t reveal their antics to their mother, she certainly did her share of scolding.
Turning to face Monty’s back again, she heard Kathleen say, “We weren’t sure when you would arrive. My daughters went to visit friends in Dawton town early this morning before this storm blew in. They may be waiting for it to end before they return, but they will be here for dinner, rain or no, so you will meet them then. How many extra settings for the table?”
“Three—” Monty started.
Vanessa jabbed his back and whispered, “Two.”
So he amended, “Actually, only two. It’s been a dreadful trip. One of my companions will need time to recover from it.”
“Certainly,” Kathleen replied. “But perhaps you would like some tea before you rest?”
“I don’t know about the boys, but I’ve been craving a proper bath. As I said, it’s been a dreadful, rushed trip.”
“Of course! Mrs. Edwards will show you to your rooms. I’ve opened the west wing for you, which was otherwise not in use and will give you more privacy.”
“Thank you, dear lady.”
Mrs. Edwards waved an arm toward the stairs while saying, “There’s a large room the boys can share—”
“That won’t do,” Monty quickly cut in. “They don’t get along, fistfights that could damage furniture and break windows. Well, boys will be boys, you know.”
Kathleen chuckled. “We’ve never had young boys living in this house, so we wouldn’t know about their behavior. Just show them to three rooms,” she added to the housekeeper.
“There are three servants, too,” Monty mentioned. “One is our manservant who will need to be close to us. The two big brutes, on the other hand, can stay anywhere.”
Monty was no doubt making sure there would
be no complaints from Charley about Arlo’s not having a room close to his. She might have laughed at the reference to the MacCabe brothers, though, if she weren’t so nervous.
“Of course, everyone will be accommodated.”
Upstairs, when the housekeeper turned left toward the long corridor of the west wing, Vanessa was struck with a bit of nostalgia. She knew this wing well. It was the one place in the house she and her sisters could hide from their mother and her etiquette regimen, where they could play, get into arguments, delight in unrestrained laughter, and simply be children, at least until Kathleen summoned them to attend some type of lesson. The servants knew they liked to play there and kept one bedroom at the end of the long hall cleaned for them.
She and her sisters had hidden themselves away in this wing right up until her last year at home, though there was less playing by then and more talking about boys and debuts and their eagerness to join the adult world they were still too young for. Had her hopes and dreams really mirrored her sisters’ so closely, all leading to love with the perfect man and marriage? She supposed they had, but back then there had been no other options for any of them—or so they’d thought.
Monty was shown to the first room on the right, which faced the extensive back lawns and would afford him a view of the setting sun. Charley got the room across the hall, and Vanessa was given the next room on the right. She thought about requesting the room at the end of the hall, but Mrs. Edwards knew it had been a playroom for her and the twins and might find the request odd and suspect she wasn’t a stranger to the house. She didn’t pursue it—being here again was bringing her close to tears—but she couldn’t help wondering if the twins still used it as a sanctuary from their mother.
It took a long time for the servants to deliver hot water for her bath, but she’d anticipated the delay, since she’d been the last guest shown to a room. Nonetheless, she was impatient for the stream of servants to end so she could have some uninterrupted time to think. Her valise was delivered by a footman, but the clean clothes inside it would probably still be damp because they’d been washed last night at the inn and delivered back to her at dawn.
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