by Vivian Wood
As if summoned, our pizza shows up seconds later, carried by the waitress. She sets it down and I dish a slice up for Cate before digging in to my own piece. The crust is thin, stretched out to hold the ingredients. Eyeing my slice, I take a bite.
I taste the earthy sweetness of the mushrooms, the salty fat from the prosciutto, the sweet creaminess of the ricotta, and the tang of perfectly balanced tomato sauce. On that first taste, I nod, bouncing my head up and down like an idiot.
Cate tries her pizza with the same results. “Oh man! What is this made of? It tastes way better than any pizza I’ve ever tried before…”
I take another bite, then have a bit more salad. “My grandfather used to bring us here sometimes. Just me and Luna, that is.”
She chews, looking thoughtful. “Was your grandfather a bully like your dad?”
A bully.
Cate doesn’t know it, but she’s just nailed exactly what my father is. I shake my head.
“Nah. Grandad was a busy guy — he owned most of the shipping companies here in the pacific northwest. But he wasn’t a bully. Not to us, anyway. He was just…” I picture my grandfather’s face, his mouth downturned, the little frown he perpetually wore. “Serious, I guess. Serious, but generous. When my parents decided to take what would turn into their endless European vacation, Grandad took Luna and I in without a fuss.”
Her lips curve upward. “That sounds like me with my grandmother. Obviously the circumstances were a bit different, but my grandma is a stand up lady.”
“Well, at least now we have something in common,” I joke.
She rolls her eyes but laughs as she bites into her pizza again. The conversation goes on, stretching comfortably between us while we finish lunch. On the whole, I have what I would call a pleasant lunch.
After a cup of coffee to wash it all down, we head outside. “Hey, I think that there is a place across the street that sells leather goods. Maybe we can get you a coat and some gloves.”
Cate smirks at me, nodding her head to the rocky beach behind her. “In a minute. We came all this way. Might as well enjoy looking at the water while we’re here.”
She starts walking down to the shore beside the restaurant. And I follow, faintly amused at how she just does what she wants and expects me to fall in step.
She stops a few feet from the water, poised on a rocky outcrop. Looking out over the Pacific Ocean, she covers her eyes against the glare from the late afternoon sun. A gentle breeze stirs her hair and the cold brings up the color in her cheeks. She looks small and fragile just now; my fingers itch to touch her.
She turns and pins me with her gaze. “It feels like we have some things to hash out.”
That gives me pause. “Oh yeah?”
She looks out to the ocean again, her expression unreadable. “I know that things between us are changing. But how did they get so bad in the first place?”
My brows rise. “You’re asking me?”
A tiny wrinkle forms just above her eyes. “Yes. You were always so… well… you were just a jerk the very first time I met you! I never understood that.”
I move closer, my mouth turning down. The ocean lulls me, lapping and receding in a rhythmic pattern nearby. I take a deep breath.
“I was a jerk,” I admit. “I was like that to a lot of people. Anybody new, anybody different. And you were both. If it helps at all, I thought I was looking out for Luna’s best interests.”
She pulls a face. “By making fun of me for dressing like I didn’t come from money? You were so vicious! And you only got meaner the longer I knew you, it felt like.”
I blow out a breath, looking at the horizon. My heart beats a little faster. “Well… you had something that Luna and I didn’t have, and I did not want Luna to spend a lot of time obsessing over it.”
Her eyebrows lift. “What would that be?”
My cheeks color. “Your family, Cate. The first time I saw your mom, it was because she followed you out of your house. And you were pissed off at her. I could tell from your body language. You just… you had someone who cared enough about you to chase you outside, and yet… you just ignored her and got in the car with us.”
Cate’s eyes widen. “That was it? That’s why you were so mean to me for so long?”
Shrugging, I shake my head. “That’s what I consider to be the root of our issues, yeah. You have to understand, at the beginning I was just trying to protect Luna. And then it just… it became a comfortable habit.”
She’s quiet for several beats, long enough to draw my gaze back to her face. “I remember that argument.” Her lips lift at the corners. “Luna invited me to go skiing. My mom didn’t want me to go because there wasn’t a chaperone and there were going to be boys on the trip. My dad said that I was old enough to decide right from wrong. So I went.”
“When you got in the car with us, you complained about your mom for half the ride. And when I looked at Luna, she looked sad.” I look down at the ground, nudging a rock with my boot. “I’m supposed to protect her.”
She exhales. “Well, if by protecting Luna you mean being a terrible bully, then you got something right.”
Squinting, I glance back at the building. “I’m sorry. I really am.”
Her lips quirk. “I can forgive that, Luca. The past is the past.”
A few beats slip past us. Acting on pure instinct, I reach out and grab her waist, drawing her close. I bend down, bringing my mouth close to hers, letting her close the gap. Her eyes meet mine, pausing for a second before she pushes up onto her tiptoes.
Her lips brush mine, timid. Sweet and warm. I cup the back of her head, relishing the softness of her hair, and press my lips to hers.
She sighs ever so softly as I kiss her. That emboldens me to pull her flush against my body and explore her mouth, tasting her sweetness and stroking her tongue with my own.
Only now do I realize how badly I’ve wanted this exact thing to happen. I’m flooded with images of what could come next: stripping her down, tasting her everywhere, being inside her as she clutches my shoulders and calls out my name.
My fingers tighten in her hair and at her waist. Cate is my wife, after all; even she can’t have any objections to me while she carries my name.
But too soon, she pulls back, her breathing grown a bit wild. “Luca…”
I ignore her, kissing my way down her jawline to her neck. I suck at the sweet spot there, making her breathing stop altogether for a moment.
But only for a moment. When I move my mouth further, she shoves me away with both hands. “Luca, stop!”
I growl. “Don’t make me stop, Cate.”
“You don’t really want this,” she says, slipping out of my arms. “You’re just having fun, Luca. And let me tell you, I’m not interested in games. Have your fun somewhere else.”
“Oh, come on,” I say, aggrieved. “You want me right now. Admit it.”
She flushes a darker shade of red. “I won’t. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll drop it.” Turning around, she starts up the slope to the road.
“Cate…” I call after her. I can still feel the warmth of her body against mine.
But she’s determined, shaking her head and picking up her pace. “Come on, you owe me a leather jacket before we ride back.”
Sighing, I reluctantly follow her back to the road.
15
Cate
Why do people even do this? Surely nothing is worth feeling like such a failure…
Luna and I are laying on mats in the middle of twenty other sweaty bodies, our feet raised the barest inch off the ground. My jaw is clenched, every muscle in my body is straining.
Luna of course looks perfect, winking at my when she catches my eye.
This was a bad idea. Why did I even let Luna talk me into taking this class?
I ask myself that for maybe the tenth time as the Pilates instructor clears his throat. He paces between the rows of miserable women, trying their hardest not to let th
eir feet touch the floor. “Come on, ladies. Let’s see some hustle here in the last minute… Do ten more seconds than you think you can…”
An alarm goes off. At the same time, everybody lets their feet drop to the floor, collectively sighing with exhaustion.
“My abs are going to hurt later,” I complain, turning onto my side and circling into a ball.
Luna pops up, grabbing her mat with a grin. “Maybe. But you’re going to look so good, you won’t care.”
I scowl up at her. “The likelihood of that happening is very, very slim.”
I push myself up, grabbing my mat and rolling it up. Luna is high on endorphins and she does a little dance as she rolls up her mat. “I’ll take those chances!”
I roll my eyes. “Come on. There is a fancy coffee shop next door and you’re buying.”
Luna pokes me in the back with the end of her mat, giggling. “Sold.”
We grab our coats and slip our shoes back on, then file out the door into the cold air outside. Luckily I’m so hot from exercising that I don’t even flinch at the weather outside. I point out Heart coffee and Luna skips ahead gleefully.
Over our well-earned lattes, Luna looks at me curiously. “So how is it living with Luca so far?”
I can feel my face heat. Sipping my latte, I shake my head. “I can’t wait until it’s over.”
She puts her cup down, her mouth turning down at the corners. “You really hate it?”
I look at Luna, a perfect blonde with innocent green eyes, and I shake my head. I don’t want to offend or hurt her, so I’ll have to tread lightly on this topic. “Not hate. That’s too strong of a word. I’m just tired of being Mrs. Luca Leone.” I scowl. “Plus your brother keeps pushing my buttons. I know I’m anti-violence, but I’m about to sock him right in the mouth if he doesn’t quit it.”
“Stop what? Pushing your buttons?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“In what way?” She cocks her head, sipping her coffee again.
I blow out a breath. “In the way that I might technically be married to him, but we all know it’s not permanent. It was a mistake to get married, just like it would be a mistake to…” I stop, trying to decide how to phrase what he seems to want.
“Omigod,” Luna says, her eyes glowing with excitement. “Did you guys bang?”
I make a disgruntled face. “We definitely did not bang. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
She purses her lips. “You thought about banging him, though. Right? I’m assuming that means you guys sucked face.”
“Luna!” I protest. “Sucked face? And bang? Where are you getting this lingo?”
She giggles. “I’ve been watching a lot of Bravo lately. Reality television is full of colorful phrases like that.”
“I would be extremely grateful if you never said sucked face to me again.” My lips turn up at the corners. “And maybe lay off the reality TV for a while, okay?”
She gives me a dissatisfied look. “No. And don’t change the subject! We were talking about how you had imagined doing it with my brother. Gross, but there it is.”
“I didn’t say that I had thought about that,” I hedge.
Luna lays her hands flat on the table, staring me down. “Cate, look at me.” I meet her eyes, guiltily glancing away. “You and I have been friends for nine years. I knew the third time we hung out that we were going to be besties. So when you look me in the eye, I know whether you are being truthful or not.”
She’s staring at me with such intensity that I wish I could writhe and escape her gaze. My cheeks flood with color.
“Look at me,” she demands. “Tell me the truth.”
“Fine!” I confess, throwing my hands up in the air. “You want the truth? I think Luca is ridiculously good looking, okay? He’s painfully handsome. But I still think he’s a complete jerk…”
“Aha!” she says, looking smug. “I knew it. You have a secret crush on the man you ‘accidentally’ married.”
She does air quotes when she says it, which makes me roll my eyes.
“Shut up.” I cross my arms. “I know that might be unChristian to say, but just be quiet about. that.”
Luna grins. “I won’t tell Luca that you totally want to bang him, if you’re worried about that.”
“I wasn’t saying—”
She cuts me off. “I won’t tell him that you want to kiss him and bang him and have all of his weird babies.”
I cover my face with my hands. “This? This is why I never tell you anything.”
She laughs, taking the final sip of her latte. “Worth it.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “You should go for it. If you can’t even screw the man you are accidentally married to, who can you screw?”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah right. That would be… I mean, it would complicate everything, even more than it already is.”
“How do you make ‘oops, we got married in Vegas’ more complicated?”
I pause, thinking. “I’m not sure, but I know that sex only complicates things.”
A wrinkle appears between Luna’s brows. “You know what I think?”
I sigh, pushing my latte mug away. “No, what do you think, Luna?”
She shifts in her seat, waving her hands a little. “It sounds like you are too scared to find out what liking a guy is like. Not just liking, but having a physical relationship with him.”
I wave my hand. “No, that’s not it.”
“Yes it is. When we were in high school, you were boy crazy. You always had a boyfriend, even though you were Catholic and they’re pretty disapproving as a whole.”
I shrug. “So? Maybe I got more religious.”
“No, what you got is scared. You lost your parents over winter break. By the spring semester, you had sworn off guys. But it’s not because you suddenly became a more strident Catholic.”
“Oh no?” I wrinkle my nose. “By all means, keep telling me about myself.”
“I’m serious, Cate. I’ve actually put a fair amount of thought into this. You were so hurt by losing your parents that you decided, consciously or not, to exclude any people from your life that you don’t already know. Which leaves you with basically me and Harper and your grandmother.”
“Oh, I don’t know—” I huff.
Luna grabs my hand, leaning across the table. “But you didn’t plan for Luca, did you? He was already there, you just didn’t pay attention to him. And then one night Luca turned his head and saw you — I mean, really saw you. And you weren’t ready for it at all.”
She sits back, looking pleased. “Thus, getting drunk and getting hitched in Vegas. I’ll hold now for applause…”
I stare at Luna, a little taken aback. Is any part of what she just said to me true? If so, am I willing to admit that out loud?
“I don’t know what to think,” I answer honestly. “Really, I don’t.”
“That’s not an answer,” Luna says, rolling her eyes.
“That’s because I’m just speechless.” I bat my eyes, taking a sip of my coffee.
“Think about it. You can thank me later for having such amazing insights into your personality.” She grins and poses cheerily.
“Yeah, well. I will literally do anything you want if it means we can change the conversation. Literally anything!!”
Luna sighs. “Well, if you don’t want to talk about how hot my brother is, how about his friends? Bradford is gorgeous, as always. Unfortunately he’s gay as fork.” Her eyes twinkle. “But how about Owen?”
“Owen?” I echo. “Boring, works across the hall from Luca, doesn’t drink before seven p.m. Owen?”
“The one and only.” She slides me a sly grin. “I think he’s hot, in an insufferable old man sort of way.”
Luna’s admission makes me cackle. “What?” I say, laughing. “You can’t be serious!”
“Dead serious.” She beams at me. “I have spent no less than two weeks trying to figure out why I think so, because he’s pretty grumpy. Even to me, and I’m the nicest
person any of you know.”
I push away the remainder of my latte, checking the time on my phone. “Speaking of work… if I don’t get going, your brother will kill me for being late.”
“You should totally cite your reasons for tardiness as wifely business.” She giggles.
“If only that could resuscitate my lifeless corpse,” I joke. I push myself up from the table. “I do have to go, though.”
“Okay. Think about what I said, though. Don’t let yourself be too scared to experience something new. Especially love.”
She stands, hugging me.
“I’ll think about what you said,” I sigh. “Not saying you’re right though.”
As I turn and head out of the shop, Luna calls out to me. “I’m totally right! You’ll see!”
I grab my coat, forcing the sleeves onto my arms, and try to clear my head. All the while though, I am wondering.
Could Luna be right?
And if so, what do I do about it?
16
Luca
I’m at work when Cate arrives. Part of me didn’t actually think that she would show; I guess there is some little part of me that is waiting for her to let me down.
When she shows up I’m filling in for Bradford behind the bar, prepping everything I will need for my shift. I see her come in, her eyes scanning the bar critically.
“Where’s Bradford?” she asks, her arms full of her coat and purse.
I exhale loudly, not sure what footing I’m on with Cate at the moment. “He wasn’t feeling well. I’m filling in at the last minute.”
“Oh.” Her brows pull down but she doesn’t exactly make a fuss. “All right. I’m going to go put my stuff down and clock in. Then I’ll be ready for whatever you want me to do.”
I cock an eyebrow at her phrasing. She gives me a long look, then shakes her head and disappears into the locker room.
Well, at least she isn’t pissed at me for the other day. If Madisyn had been in her position, I would’ve been groveling in apology before we could even speak again. I guess it’s an important thing to remember, the fact that Cate and Madisyn are worlds apart in temperament.
