by Vivian Wood
God, I don’t want to be trapped with Gabe when he’s angry, I know that.
“Come on, everyone!” he yells, clapping his hands a few times.
As I hustle up the stairs and pull my uniform jacket on, I’m surprised to see that the yacht is stopped in a small marina. Following the slope of the land up from the docks, I see a small town splayed out, the buildings reminiscent of those in an Old English village. The buildings are all different sizes but each has white walls and brown support beams.
“Luna,” Gabe says, gesturing for me to hurry. “Seriously, this is the last time I’ll ask.”
I pale and scurry down the gangplank, trying to catch up with the handful of guests that are just ahead. Malkia is leading the march toward the village. It’s actually pretty nice today. The sun is high is the early morning sky, and it’s probably almost seventy degrees outside.
Behind me, Luke and Carlos are tossing bundles of laundry to the dock.
Gabe is right behind me, but every time I glance at him, the brooding look on his face makes me sweat a little. I swallow and haul my medical bag up to the spot where the guests pool in the middle of an open town square area.
“Okay, everyone!” Malkia calls. “There are three different activities to do here. The first is there is a nice little tea shop to our right. There is also a tavern for those that might be thirsty. And then there is my favorite thing here… we can go pet some reindeer.”
The guests break out into chatter about who wants to do which event. After a minute, Gabe calls out instructions.
“Anybody who wants to go to the tea shop or the tavern, Mal is going to lead you over there. For everybody else, follow me around the side on these buildings here…”
Which way should I go? I watch as a few of the older people follow Mal. The bulk of the group follow Gabe though, so I follow them.
We walk around the right side of the village, following a small wood chip path. I see a dark building of what I would guess are stables and several areas that are fenced in. A few reindeer pause, chewing. The children squeal and run ahead to the fence, which makes the reindeer back away suspiciously.
A reindeer petting zoo. It’s novel, I guess… Wrinkling my nose, I find a spot to relax against the stables as a young man lets the clients inside the fence. Gabe joins me silently, standing a few feet away from me and leaning against the wall.
He is silent as we watch the clients petting the reindeer. His big frame is tensed even when he’s resting.
I have to know what he’s thinking… because there is a ninety percent chance it’s about me.
“Gabe,” I say, trying to keep my voice down.
He swings his head my way, spearing me with his blue-green gaze. He doesn’t look happy.
“What?”
I look past him to the clients, then motion for him to move further down the wall with me. I see him look at the clients. He’s making some sort of decision. He follows me a few feet away, crossing his arms over his wide chest.
Then he just stares down at me, his gaze so direct that it makes me squirm a little.
“Listen,” I say, coloring. “About last night…”
Gabe shakes his head and glances away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Listen, I was trying to be playful. I definitely didn’t mean to imply that you— “
He grimaces. “Stop talking.”
I blow out a breath. “I’m sorry. That’s what I’m trying to say.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. It was… it was a mistake to involve myself with an employee.” His expression grows pained. “It’s my fault for getting sucked into the situation.”
His mouth settles in a scowl. I bite my lip.
“Do you really mean that? I enjoyed our time together, to say the least…”
A huff of laughter leaves him. “It was weakness, okay? I made a promise to myself that I would mourn my fiancée for a full year. And I broke that promise three months in, when we were in Vegas.”
I freeze for a second, trying to add that to what I know about his situation. That’s surprising, to say the least. “But no one is holding you to that, Gabe.”
He looks at me as if I were a poisonous snake. “I am, Luna. Me. If I can’t even hold myself to that period of time…” He trails off, his expression bitter. “No one thought that Michelle was any good for me. And when she… she passed…”
He clamps his mouth shut, swallowing hard.
I can’t help it. Reaching out a hand to touch his arm, I try to comfort him. “Gabe…”
He jerks away from my fingers with a hiss. “Don’t touch me, Luna. Just don’t. Can’t you see that I’m all mixed up already without adding you to the brew? I’m bad news. And not just for you… I don’t want to bring anyone else into this fucking mess right now. Got it?”
Gabe looks up at me, rage and self-hatred and a thousand other nameless things in his eyes.
I try again, without attempting to touch him this time. “It’s just that— “
He cuts me off by pushing off the stables wall and walking away. I sigh, crossing my arms.
Am I really longing for some guy who is all tangled up in his past?
The rest of the morning goes by pretty fast. I follow the clients around from the petting zoo into the tea shop, eventually finding a seat by the window with a cup of matcha. When Mal comes over I smile up at her.
She nods to the seat across from me. “Do you mind?”
“Not at all,” I say.
She sits down, looking at me with a tight smile. After checking to make sure that no one is listening, she fixes me with her gaze.
“What exactly did you do to make my brother so mad?” She drums her fingers on the chipped wooden table, arching a brow.
My eyebrows draw up. My cheeks color. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Why is Gabriel being such a whiny little baby after talking to you?”
I look at her, taking a moment to sip my tea. “Did you ask him?”
“Yep.” She leans back in her chair. “And he was no help. That’s why I’m talking to you now.”
Frowning, I set my teacup down. “I think he deserves some privacy, don’t you?”
“Do I?” Malkia gives a dry laugh. “I am not about to stop poking into his affairs, Luna. I am worried about him. I have been worried about him for a long time. But I am his sister, so if I have to, I will gladly be worried about him every minute of every day for the rest of our lives.”
I make a face at her. “I’m trying to maintain some decorum, I guess.”
She looks to the front, blowing out a slow breath. “And I am just trying to warn you, Luna. Gabriel is just coming off of a relationship that ended very, very badly. If you play around with his heart and hurt him any more than he already hurts, you are going to have to answer to me.”
My heart jumps into my throat. “I know, Malkia. I know that your intentions are pure.”
Mal shoots a skeptical look my way then waves her hand dismissively. “I have to go. I should start getting everyone together, to head back to the ship.”
I bow my head. “Of course.”
As I watch her get up and gather people together, I have to wonder. Is Malkia right? Do I need to be extra cautious with Gabe just now?
Furrowing my brow, I head down to the main deck.
19
Gabe
A knock on my door rouses me from my nap. I’m not usually the sort for an afternoon nap but today I just feel so tired. Not to mention achy… and a little nauseated.
I sit up in my bed, a little sweaty. My head is roaring. When Malkia knocks again and calls my name, I answer. “Come in!”
Mal slides my door open, staying in the doorway. She eyes me with concern. “My shift is over. Luke is at the helm right now.”
I nod, swinging my legs over the side of my bed. As I try to stand, I realize that I’m actually really cold.
“I’ll come up,” I say, looking around for my jacket.
/>
A line of worry etched in Mal’s brow only deepens. “I don’t think so, Gabe. Let me feel your head and see if you have a temperature.”
Standing suddenly seems very difficult. I collapse backwards but manage to hit the bed.
“Okay,” Mal says, backing up a couple steps. “That’s it. You are staying in bed. I’ll send Luna down to check you over.”
I try to argue, but instead I cough raggedly. Mal gives me a skeptical look and slides my door shut.
Do I chase after her and tell her that I’m okay? I should. But it just seems so hard…
I rest for a few moments, closing my eyes. Then I stand up again, feeling a little lightheaded. Grabbing my jacket from where it is draped across the bottom of my bed, I start trying to put it on.
I lose my balance for a second, stumbling. I can feel the ship moving.
What is happening?
The door slides open and Luna comes in. She takes one look at me, damp from sweat and wearing one arm of my jacket, and points to the bed.
“Nope. Get back in bed.”
I scowl at her. “I’m the captain. I don’t take orders from you.”
Normally Luna is sort of soft and accommodating, but just now she looks at me firmly. “Lie down, Gabe. Let me take your temperature. I’m pretty sure you’re sick.”
I scoff. “No, there’s no way. I haven’t been sick in years.”
She steps forward, her hands landing on my chest. Easing me down to the bed, Luna removes my jacket.
“That’s better,” she says. She puts the back of her hand against my forehead, her brows lowering after a second. “God, you’re burning up.”
“I’m fine…” I try to protest, but her face is all business.
“You aren’t fine, Gabe. You’re sick. And you are probably contagious, which means you’re quarantined to this room until whatever you have passes.” She quirks a brow. “Now take your shoes off and get under the blankets.”
“But I have to work!”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Don’t make me tell you stories about ships spreading the Black Plague, captain.”
Muttering, I unlace my boots and slide under the cotton comforter. Luna takes my temperature, frowning at the thermometer reading.
“One hundred two point three,” she reads. “All right. You stay put. I’ll get you some water to drink. Then we’ll dose you up with some acetaminophen.”
I want to shoot her a glare, but my eyelids are too heavy. They slip closed.
When she nudges me again, I start and open my eyes. She holds a glass of water and presses some white tablets into my hand.
“Here you go. Just take this and try to drink as much water as you can.”
I take the glass of water and drown the pills with a long gulp. It tastes funny. I wrinkle my nose.
“What’s in the water?”
Luna frowns, tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. “It’s just normal water. I think your sense of taste is a little out of whack.”
I shove the water back at her, my eyelids already drooping. “Here.”
I feel her cool fingers taking the glass from my hand. Then nothing.
When I wake again, it’s mid-afternoon. I can tell by the light that pours in through the port hole above my bed. I lurch to my feet.
I’ve never had to urinate quite as badly as I do right now.
After shoving my feet into my boots and relieving myself, I stand in the dimly lit corridor for a moment. I still feel damp, as if I’ve been sweating for ages, but at least I can think.
I press my head against the cool, dark wood paneling of the hallway near my room. Luna appears at the end of the stairwell, her eyebrows raised.
“Hey. It’s good to see you up.”
She approaches me, herding me back into my bedroom. I look askance at her.
“Yeah, I slept a few hours. Now I’m fine.”
She pauses, then shoos me back into bed. “You’ve been feverish for three days, Gabe. You were really out of it.”
Now it’s my turn to look surprised. “Three days? Are you sure?”
Luna grabs her thermometer and puts it to my ear. “I’m very sure.” The thermometer beeps and she pulls it away to read it. “Great. It looks like your fever has broken.”
My mouth feels so dry, like my throat is made of hot sand. “Can I have something to drink?”
Her eyes light up. “Yeah? You feel like you can keep some water down now?”
“Ummm… yeah?” I say. “Was there a time when I couldn’t?”
She screws up her face. “Yes. The day before yesterday you actually threw up on me. I’m glad you’re feeling better now.”
My neck heats. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember getting sick at all, period.”
Luna smiles. “That’s okay. You were pretty out of it.” She bites her lip, looking away. “You talked about Michelle in your sleep.”
That makes me sit up, alarmed. “What? What did I say?”
She shrugs. “You just muttered, mostly. From what I could tell, you were dreaming about her. You didn’t seem happy.”
Feeling strangely vulnerable, I clamp my mouth shut. What kind of things did I reveal when I was out of it?
“I’ll go get you some broth.” Luna stands up, giving me a tight smile. “It’s good to see some color back in your cheeks, Gabe.”
She lets herself out of my room. I watch her go, wondering at what I said to her.
God, please let me not have done anything crazy while I was raving from fever.
For the rest of the day I recuperate, looking at the regatta map a little. Luna assures me that everything is taken care of in my absence. So I just take it slow.
I shower and shave for the first time in days. I eat a sandwich and drink a ton of water.
Later after the sun has long since disappeared, Luna knocks on my door.
“Let’s change your sheets,” she says, holding a bundle of cotton under her arm. “There’s nothing nicer than feeling clean, right?”
Sighing, I climb to my feet. “I can change them myself.”
She gives me a funny look. “I’m here. How about we do it together?”
Rolling my eyes, I give a smile and shrug. “Whatever floats your boat.”
Luna is efficient at this, obviously. She tosses my pillows onto the floor, moving to unbutton the duvet cover. She stays silent, which makes me wonder what she’s thinking about.
She looks up and colors when she catches my gaze on her. “What?” she asks, patting her hair.
I suck in a breath. “What kinds of things was I saying earlier? I mean, when I was out of it.”
“Ah.” She unbuttons a few more buttons on the duvet, looking at me as though she is trying to decide what to tell me. “You called for Michelle. Then you cursed her for being gone.”
She scrutinizes the duvet, even though we both know that it isn’t really necessary. A sigh slips from my lips, which draws her gaze back up to my face.
“Yeah, that’s… that’s about how I feel,” I admit. “I’m pissed at her still, though it’s been nine months.”
My fists clench convulsively on the last few words. To hide my reaction, I tug the duvet out of Luna’s hands. “Here, I’ll finish this bit.”
She looks at me, her expression uncharacteristically hard to read. “Ah. I see. I mean, you did have your whole lives that were planned out together… it must be hard to have to change everything now.”
A corner of my mouth turns down. “Yeah.” I glance at her, screwing up my face. “Michelle didn’t just die. She took her own life.”
She pales a bit, fumbling with the sheet. “Oh.” It takes her a minute before she looks up at me, pinning me with her blue gaze. “I’m so sorry that that happened, Gabe.”
I shrug, because what else am I supposed to do. “It turns out, she had way more shit going on than I realized. She was in debt, like big debt, and she owed money to a lot of bad people.” I blow out a slow breath. “If she had just c
ome to me…”
Instantly the pit of my stomach starts burning, acid swirling around inside me.
Luna drops the fabric she’s holding and comes over to my side of the room, touching my arm lightly. “Hey.”
I gaze at her, my eyes locking on her. She looks troubled.
“It’s not your fault,” she says, her voice so low that she’s almost whispering. “It sounds like she was really screwed up. It would have taken a lot more than just you to fix her problems. You know that, right?”
A muscle in my cheek jumps because my jaw is so tense. “Yeah.”
“Gabe?”
“Yeah?”
She bites her lip. “Can I just… can I hug you?”
I lift my eyebrows. “Uhh…”
Do I really want to let anyone pity me?
When I waver for a second, Luna decides to hug me anyway. She closes her arms around me, putting her head on my chest. I stiffen against her touch, but inside I’m thinking of how good she smells.
Her hair is especially fragrant, smelling like coconut and clean laundry. It’s intoxicating to me.
When she lifts her head, probably about to say something to me that is kind yet undeserved, I stop her the simplest way I know how.
My lips brush hers. Her eyes go wide. She pushes herself back, forcefully separating us. “Gabe…”
It only makes me want her more.
“Just for tonight,” I tell her, pulling her closer. “Just one more time.” I kiss her again. “Please, Luna…”
She sighs against my lips. “Are you sure?”
I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. I turn her around as though we are dancing and push her down on the bed.
“I’m sure,” I whisper into her ear. “I just want to live right now. I want to think of you, and only of you…”
Cupping her jaw, I kiss her jawline, her neck. I hear the rushed inhalation as she sucks in a breath.
“Gabe…” she whispers again. “You are ruining me…”
My hands slide down to the hem of her skirt. My tongue slips into the shell of her ear. She gasps as my fingers skim up the top of her thigh.
“You love it though…”
