by Vivian Wood
My jaw drops. “You can’t talk to me like that!”
Dr. Montgomery waves his hand around his office. “Who’s going to stop me? Hmm? This conversation is just between you and me… so I would recommend that you just go ahead and get the plans for me.”
He looks at his watch and straightens. “Ah, shit. I’m late.”
“Wait, you can’t just leave!” I protest.
“Get out of my office,” he says calmly. “You’ve taken up too much of my time.”
“I— “
Dr. Montgomery loses his cool.
“Get out!” he shouts.
Eyes widening, I back toward the door, turning the knob and letting myself out. He slams the door closed behind me hard enough to rattle the blinds.
Blinking at the door for a second, I start slowly walking down the hall toward the parking lot. Dr. Montgomery is unhinged, as it turns out.
I definitely don’t know what I should do with myself. I should take my case somewhere else, kick it up the food chain…
But to whom?
I can’t exactly tell the med school administration that I had planned to steal some papers for Dr. Montgomery and changed my mind. What if they don’t do anything about it?
And I definitely can’t tell Gabe my problem either. Despite my blowing the whistle now, that wouldn’t be what Gabe sees. He would zero in on the fact that I initially agreed to go along with Dr. Montgomery’s plan. That would be the end of lazy mornings in bed with Gabe…
I can’t let such a foolish mistake keep us from seeing each other again.
So basically, I’m at something of an impasse. Right now, Dr. Montgomery has got me against the wall, between a rock and a hard place. Either I make a fuss about things and potentially lose what I have with Gabe… or I don’t, but then have to face the loss of my career.
Pushing the door open and heading into the sunny Seattle afternoon, I quail. What am I supposed to do?
Who am I supposed to ask for advice?
I don’t know and I haven’t the faintest idea of where to even begin to find out.
28
Gabe
“Fuck!”
I slam the coffee grinder down with a grimace. It’s an automatic machine, which is great… except when you forget to actually set a limit on the amount of coffee it grinds. I didn’t. Instead I went to brush my teeth and came back to all my coffee ground up at once, enough to make the grinder’s gears stick.
Today is just not my day. Actually, yesterday wasn’t my day either. Luna came back from doing her errands and she was quiet in an eerie way…
She’s still quiet, which makes me wonder just what the hell happened yesterday. As I set the water on to boil, my phone buzzes insistently.
I head over to check it.
Wedding Day!! the screen says. It flashes a picture of me and Michelle, holding hands on top of the Space Needle. She clings to me, her eyes puffy.
I remember that photo. I remember that day.
How could I not have realized that today was supposed to be our wedding day?
I freeze, the phone still buzzing away in my hand.
Can that be right? Can today really be the day that I was supposed to marry Michelle?
“Hey,” Luna says softly.
I whirl, silencing my phone. She gives me a half a smile, already dressed and ready to leave. Her smile hides just a tiny bit of concern…
What is she worried about, exactly? I lift my chin, trying to shove down all my worries about Michelle.
“Hey,” I say nonchalantly. It would be better if I had something on other than my skivvies; looking at her, all dressed up like she’s going out on the town, you wouldn’t expect that she was just leaving my bed. I cross my arms, trying to appear like less of a wreck than I really am.
“I have to head out,” she says, cocking her head. “Should I plan to see you tonight?”
I frown. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
Luna’s eyebrows rise, but she doesn’t put up a fight. “Okay. Have a good day, Gabe.”
She comes over to me and drops a kiss on my lips, then hustles out the door.
“You too,” I mumble. But she likely doesn’t hear or at least doesn’t indicate that she has.
Luna. That’s why I forgot. Because it is just easier to lean into her warm embraces and dazzling smiles. Easier than looking backward, anyway.
But I am not ready to give up mourning Michelle. I’m not the kind of person who just abandons his dead ex-fiancée when someone new and tempting comes along.
…am I?
I don’t want to be someone that forgets people that easily.
I scowl at the door as it slams closed behind Luna. My phone starts buzzing again in my hand. Without a second thought I throw my phone at the wall as hard as I can.
Instantly the screen shatters, the alarm going silent.
I tilt my head back and let out a stream of curses. Like I said, today is just not my day.
I graduate from making coffee right to moping around my tiny apartment. I pull out a box of keepsakes I have stashed in the bottom of a closet. Then I spend a long time sifting through the photos and mementos I find inside of the box.
A scrap of light blue lace that was Michelle’s mother’s. A photo of Michelle a couple weeks after we met, wearing nothing but that slinky, mischievous smile of hers. A folded letter written to me by Michelle a few days before she killed herself.
God, she was so young. Not even twenty six years old. There was so much potential there for her…
And now it’s all gone, blown away like dust in the cruel, unblinking wind.
My knuckles whiten as I grip my cup of coffee. Rage roils through me.
I’m still so angry at her for abandoning me, for just giving up on life.
I hear the slide of a key opening the front door. Looking up, I see Malkia open the door.
“Gabe?” she calls.
I toss Michelle’s letter back into the keepsake box, nodding to my sister. “What are you doing here?”
She turns her head and takes me in. “I tried to text you like five times. I have not heard from you since we docked the boat. I got worried.”
I smile, but I don’t feel happy. “I’m fine, as you can see.”
Malkia closes the door behind herself and comes over to where I’m sitting in my living room. She takes one look at the keepsakes box in front of me and sighs.
“Not the box again.” She scrunches up her face. “What triggered this? Huh? You have been letting Michelle go, I thought…”
I sit back, appraising my sister. “Today was supposed to be our wedding day.”
A wrinkle of concern appears in Mal’s brow. “Oh.” She tilts her head at me. “I am sorry, Gabriel.”
I shrug, not knowing what to say. Mal heaves a sigh, looking around the apartment. “It is not too early for a drink, right?”
I jerk my head toward the tiny kitchen. “Whiskey’s in the cabinet above the sink.”
She tosses her keys on the counter on her way to grab the whiskey and a couple of glasses. Then she returns with all of it and plunks down beside me on the couch.
Pouring two drams of whiskey, she hands me one of the tumblers and then takes a sip. She makes a small sound of satisfaction after she swallows it. Then she turns to me.
“So what’s going on inside that head of yours?”
I sigh, looking up at the ceiling. “The same things as usual. I’m angry at Michelle. I think about what happened and I just feel…” My fists clench. “Useless, I guess. Like I could have maybe stopped her from… from erasing our whole life together, if only she had confided in me…”
Mal looks at me, her expression carefully neutral. “You know that you were not responsible for her wanting to die. We have talked about this ad nauseam.”
I shoot her a glare. “You came here, asking what I’m feeling. That’s what I’m feeling.”
She nods. “You are right. It is just hard to watch you have the same th
oughts and the same fears as you did when Michelle died. I thought—” She pauses, smirking down into her glass of whiskey. “I thought you were content. I thought you had found someone else to fill that void.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “What?”
Malkia rolls her eyes at me. “Luna. I thought you two were getting along pretty well. I mean… she slept in your cabin for almost the last ten days we were on the yacht.”
I shift, clearing my throat. My ears feel hot. “You knew about that, huh?”
“Mm. We were supposed to be sharing one set of bunk beds. So yeah, I knew.”
“Yeah, well. She’s been off the last couple of days too. I’m starting to think that we don’t work off the boat.”
Mal gives me a surprised look. “Why?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Just a feeling.”
She is quiet for a moment, then she checks her phone.
“Don’t let me keep you here,” I say flatly. “Seriously, I’m in the worst mood.”
She shoots the last bit of whiskey in her glass, then looks at me. “I have a date. But let me give you a little advice, brother. Luna makes you happy. I have seen it. So why you do not just relax into that, I do not know.”
I roll my eyes at her. “Go on your date. I’ll be fine.”
“I am coming back tomorrow morning if you don’t turn your phone on,” she warns.
My gaze shifts to the phone, still slumped just where I threw it earlier. Mal doesn’t need to know about my temper tantrum, though. I shrug.
“Sure.”
She gives me a quick hug, then lets herself out of my apartment. I’m left with a glass of whiskey and a lot of inner turmoil… which somehow morphs into a lot of anger and five refills from the bottle.
When Luna shows up, I’m halfway to drunk. She knocks for a minute and then opens the unlocked door, frowning as she enters.
“Gabe?” She looks around and spots me, still sitting on the couch. “Oh. You’re okay. I got worried when I texted and you didn’t answer.”
I look at her, wrinkling my nose. “Well, here I am.”
She nods, sitting down beside me. Her gaze slides to the box of keepsakes on the coffee table. “What’s all this?”
I sit up, pouring myself more whiskey. “Don’t worry about it. It’s got nothing to do with you.’
Her eyes narrow. “Are you drunk?”
I shrug. “Maybe. Can’t a man have a few drinks in his own apartment?”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, okay…”
I take a big gulp from my tumbler, looking at her. “Where have you been?”
She flushes and ducks her head. “Cate asked me to hang out with her, so we had brunch.” She looks at me out of the corner of her eye. “Maybe you should take a shower or something, Gabe. You look pretty disheveled.”
I lean closer to her, pinning her with my gaze. “Don’t worry about me. What about you?”
She frowns and looks at her white pencil dress. “What? I just got dressed a couple of hours ago…”
I go in for the kill. “Why have you been weird the last couple of days?”
Her blue gaze jumps up to my face. Her face reddens. “I didn’t know that you had even picked up on that.”
Cocking my head to the side, I study her. “I did.”
She brushes back a strand of her blonde hair. “I’ve just been distracted by some med school stuff. It’s really no big deal.”
From her blush and the way she looks away just as she is about to speak, I can tell that there is something off about what she’s saying. But I can’t put my finger on it exactly.
She looks out the window, her throat working. My brow descends.
Luna changes the subject. “How do you feel about attending another gala with me this weekend? This time it would be raising money for childhood cancer…”
I squint at her. Was she telling the truth? It’s impossible to know. But the fact that I have to ask niggles around in my brain, bothering me. I sit back with a sigh, not trusting her but not really trusting myself either.
29
Luna
In the early morning, we have the steamiest sex we have ever had. Almost silent, full of unspoken anger, every moment brutally executed. When I come, it’s so swift and so overwhelming that I’m nearly in tears.
Gabe is uninterested in comforting me afterward, though. He gets dressed as soon as we are through, mumbling about how he has to get down to the docks.
I squint at him from underneath the blankets. “The regatta is today, isn’t it?”
He shoots me a look. “Yes. Your presence wouldn’t be unwelcome.”
He pulls on his shoes, still seeming to brood. I don’t quite know what to say to him, but I know that something is wrong.
“Gabe,” I say softly.
He looks up at me, his face lined. He looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks. He releases a silent sigh. “What?”
“Is everything okay with you? I know I’ve been wrapped up in my own stuff, but…”
“It’s fine,” he says, cutting me off.
“It doesn’t seem fine.” I cross my arms. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be fixing, though.”
A cruel smile appears on his lips. “Isn’t that always the problem?”
“I don’t understand,” I say, shaking my head. “The sex we just had has literally never been hotter but things between us seem to be disintegrating.”
Gabe frowns at that. “Maybe it’s just the natural way of things. Maybe we have run our course together.”
I sit up, my eyes widening. “What? What do you mean?”
He just shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s just… when this thing between us started, I never intended for it to last even as long as it has. I mean, we still have to go out on the boat together two more times… Maybe it would be better if we just stopped sleeping together now, before…”
He trails off, looking away. His expression is unreadable and that makes a flare of anger rise in my chest.
Rising from the bed, I wrap the sheet around myself. I’m shaking a little as I confront him. “Gabe, please don’t say things you don’t mean.”
He scowls at the floor. “Who says I don’t mean them?”
He won’t look at me. But I’m determined. I get right up in his face. “You’re telling me that you don’t feel anything for me?”
He shakes his head. “No. I’m not. But…” He glances up at me, guilt written plainly across his face. “Is it enough?”
I can feel myself growing agitated. “Enough for what?”
Gabe shoots me a glare. “You know exactly what I mean, Luna. Are the things we feel enough for more than just a hookup?”
“We have carried on this long,” I say, flailing my hand out. “It depends on what you mean. Are we going to get married tomorrow? Or maybe we start smaller, hmm? Maybe we start with you admitting that I’m more than just your… your employee!”
He pins me with his gaze. “As opposed to what? My girlfriend?”
“Would that really be so bad?”
His jaw tenses. “You don’t understand.”
“Please, Gabe. I’m right here. Explain it to me.”
He’s quiet for almost a full minute, glancing at me. His expression is so dark and his brow so lowered that he looks absolutely primal.
In fact, if this wasn’t probably our last fight ever, I would drop my sheet and get on my knees for him.
“All women are liars,” he says at last. “You don’t know what you want. And when you do, you can’t be honest about it.”
“What? What are you talking about?” My voice rises.
“Women lie. Michelle lied to me. Malkia does it too, but we’re family. And you… I don’t even know what you’re lying about, but if I mention your issues you’ve been having with med school…”
In an instant, I’m the color of a beet.
“See!” he says, scowling at me. “What is it? Do you owe someone money? Do you have another guy that you’re st
ringing along now that we’re back on land?”
I shake my head. “It’s nothing like that. I swear.”
“But there is something, isn’t there?” He huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, of course there is. And that’s just one reason why we could never work.”
“And just what are the other reasons?” I cock my hip.
“I’m poor, you’re rich. I’m level headed, you’re flighty. I’m worried about how I’m going to push my family company through the next few months. You’re worried about whatever fanciful thing pops into your head.”
I scowl at him. “So what? You’ve never heard that opposites attract?”
He looks sorrowful for a split second. “Not people who are as different as we are.”
I shake my head slowly. “I dare you to kiss me, then say that what you feel isn’t enough.”
The hollows in his face become more pronounced. “Luna…”
I step up to him, cupping his face in one hand. “Do it,” I whisper. “Kiss me. Then tell me you don’t want to see me anymore.”
Emotions run riot across his handsome face. His eyes rake over my expression, perhaps probing for signs of deception.
Then he lowers his face to mine and places a single, searingly hot kiss on my lips. It brands me, marks me as his.
More than that, it makes my heart swell and rise. I kiss him back with every ounce of passion I’ve ever felt in his arms. He groans, his hand coming to cradle the back of my head.
When I pull back, Gabe makes a frustrated sound.
“What if I don’t want to let you go?” he whispers, his gaze locked to mine. “What if that’s what I feel?”
I push up on my tiptoes, kissing him again. Then I whisper my answer against his lips. “You don’t have to. This thing between us… it’s real. It’s solid.” I swallow, my eyes misting over as I gaze into his blue green depths. “It’s going to keep growing, if we’ll just make space for it.”
He leans his forehead against mine. “How do you know?”
“I just do. It just… it feels infinite, doesn’t it?”
