Mary Jo chattered the whole way about what she wanted to see at the fair and what she aimed to do there. Her babbling made Kate’s head spin, and her mood went from depressed to itchy to incredibly crabby before they’d been rattling along the road to town for an hour.
Finally Alex, either sensing Kate’s mood or, more likely, becoming tired of his gabby sister on his own, told Mary Jo to pipe down. “I know you’re excited, kid, but why don’t you give the two of us a break. We’ve got other things to think about than seeing the sights at the Exposition.”
Mary Jo lifted her chin. “That’s because you’ve seen it before.”
“No,” Alex snapped. “It’s because we’re both worried about Mrs. Finney.”
If Kate weren’t so grumpy, she might have felt sorry for Mary Jo. As it was, she could only be glad the girl stopped chattering before Kate blew up and said something nasty to her. I’ve got to work on my temper, she told herself. Maybe most of the people she knew deserved to be yelled at, but the Englishes didn’t. Not even self-engrossed, adolescent, Mary Jo.
The rest of the trip passed more or less in silence. Kate tried to respond appropriately to the speaking glances Alex sent her way, but she only felt tired and cold and alone, and it was difficult for her not to wish she’d never met him. It was a selfish wish, because Kate’s introduction to Alex was the best thing that could ever have happened to Ma, given her health. As for Kate, she loved Alex to distraction, but since they were destined to part forever soon, she’d as soon have spared her heart and soul the pain of that parting.
She was getting morbid. Life would go on, no matter what happened to Kate’s own personal feelings. It didn’t seem fair to her, but as Alex had noted not long before, life wasn’t fair. A body would think that a girl would know better than to leave her heart vulnerable as Kate had done. Fool. Idiot. She was so darned stupid.
Before Kate was done vilifying herself, the carriage drew up in front of the Congress Hotel. Kate wished Alex had taken her home first. On the other hand, she didn’t want Mary Jo to see where she lived. It was probably better this way, even if it prolonged Kate’s state of misery.
“We’ll get you settled,” Alex said cheerfully. “After I take Kate home, I’ll be back, and we’ll decide what to do first.”
“I want to see the Columbian Exposition first. I want to ride on the Ferris wheel! Then I want to see Buffalo Bill’s Wild West show!”
Even Kate couldn’t help but produce a smile for this bit of enthusiasm. The Ferris wheel had become the most popular attraction in the fair. Buffalo Bill’s Wild West wasn’t even an official part of the Exposition, but was housed on the grounds outside the fair. It was as popular an attraction as the fair itself. It was said that some folks came to Chicago, saw the Wild West, and went home thinking they’d seen the entire Exposition. Kate didn’t know about that, and she’d never seen Buffalo Bill’s offering to the world’s inquisitive mind, but she didn’t fault Mary Jo’s choices in entertainment.
“We’ll all three go to Buffalo Bill’s Wild West tonight,” Alex declared, winking at Kate. “Kate doesn’t have to go back to work until tomorrow.”
“But—”
“I’ll see to it,” Alex interjected loudly, trampling Kate’s protest as if he were swatting a bothersome fly.
“But, what about—”
Again Alex forestalled her. “I’ll talk to the Egyptians and Madame Esmeralda as soon as I see you home. Stop fretting.”
Kate gave up. She might as well. Alex had an answer for every one of her complaints and equivocations. Therefore, nothing more provocative than social pleasantries passed her lips as she and Alex went with Mary Jo to the room Alex had taken for her. It was next to his. Kate had to suppress a gasp when the bellboy, who had been summoned to carry Mary Jo’s luggage gestured them into a cage, pressed a button, and the cage began moving upwards. She didn’t want to look like a booby, but she’d never been in an elevator before, and the experience was almost as exciting as riding the Ferris wheel.
The suppressed elevator gasp was nothing compared to the gasp Kate had to suppress when the bellboy turned the key in the door to Mary Jo’s room and pushed it open. Why, the room was bigger than Kate’s entire flat! She gazed with wonder at the luxurious appointments. It was all so plush and modern.
“Oh, my,” she murmured. Then she felt foolish.
“Oh, Alex!” Mary Jo exclaimed, easing Kate’s qualms about being a booby somewhat. “This is so pretty!”
“The Congress is a brand-new hotel, sister mine. All the appointments are modern.”
“It’s bee-yootiful, Alex!” Mary Jo ran to the bed and flung herself on it, bouncing twice. “I love it!”
Kate, who had believed the luxury of the English home could hardly be surpassed, stared in wonder at Alex’s sister. Fancy that! A young, spoiled, rich girl could be impressed by something. Would wonders never cease?
It didn’t take long to get Mary Jo settled, and although she begged to be allowed to go with Alex to see Kate to her apartment, her entreaties were rejected. Kate guessed she was glad of that, but wasn’t sure, given the nature of the news she aimed to impart unto Alex during the carriage ride.
But she didn’t impart it. She couldn’t. And it was all because he was so happy.
He grabbed Kate’s hand and held it tight as soon as she was settled in the carriage. “I’m going to take you and Mary Jo up on the Ferris wheel tonight, Kate. And after that, we’re all going to see Buffalo Bill’s Wild West.”
Kate opened her mouth to refute Alex’s assumption of her evening’s time, but didn’t do it. Couldn’t do it. This was the man who was responsible for making her mother’s last days on earth happy. She couldn’t spoil the evening for him. There would be time tomorrow to inform him she wouldn’t marry him.
He anticipated her. “Don’t say a word, Kate. I’m taking you and Mary Jo to dinner in the hotel, and then we’re going on the Ferris wheel, and then we’re all going to see Buffalo Bill’s Wild West. I’m only taking you to that ghastly flat so that you can have a few hours of rest.”
She expelled a gust of air and gave up completely. “Thank you, Alex,” she said meekly.
He eyed her skeptically. “That’s all?”
She blinked at him. “That’s all of what?”
“That’s all you’re going to say to me?”
She thought about it. “Um . . . Yes.”
“Good Gad.” He gaped at her.
Kate felt her temper beginning to spark, sort of like when she touched something and got an electrical shock. It took all of her will power to hold a sarcastic retort inside and not blurt it out in Alex’s face. This was the man she loved, she told herself. This was the man who was being kinder to her and her family than anyone had ever been.
As if he understood, Alex squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry, Kate. I oughtn’t tease you. I know you’re facing some difficult times.”
She stared at him. Never, in all of her twenty-two years, had anyone been so nice to her. Turning her hand over in his, she returned his pressure. “Thanks,” she said simply, loving him and wanting him, and wishing she were someone else and could marry him with an easy conscience.
They reached her flat a few minutes later. To Kate, the ride from the Congress to her street was like a descent into hell. From the bright, clean streets surrounding the luxurious hotel, the neighborhoods got dirtier and less sanitary and shabbier and uglier, until the carriage took the familiar turn around the corner, and the smell of the slaughterhouses and the butcher shops smote their noses. The odor was so foul, it made Kate’s eyes water. She couldn’t fathom why she’d never noticed it before.
Silly Kate. She’d never noticed it before because she’d had nothing with which to compare it. Not for more than a few hours at a time, anyway. After three days in the country, her senses had been clarified. Now she could completely understand the horror of where she lived. With all her heart, she wished Alex didn’t know of her ignominy.
&n
bsp; Too late. With a sigh, Kate decided it was past time she resumed the cocky, don’t-tread-on-me demeanor she’d perfected in her several years in the slums. “Aha. The sweet smell of home.”
Alex squeezed her hand again. “Not for long, darling. Not for long.”
She gave him a long, steady look and almost broke her vow not to burden him this evening. But she couldn’t spoil his first evening in the city with Mary Jo. That would be too unkind, even if Kate knew it would ultimately prove to be the best course of action. She wouldn’t allow herself to ruin the life of the only man who’d ever shown any kindness to her and her family. Rather, she smiled sweetly after only a very few moments of hesitation—nowhere near long enough to make him suspicious. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Good.” Although Frank the coachman knew by this time where Kate lived, Alex thumped on the carriage ceiling as they approached the Schneiders’ shop. When he turned back to Kate, he wore a frown. Kate braced herself.
“We’ve got to get you out of this place before your father gets out of jail.”
Kate shrugged, feeling a wash of defeat. “He’s probably already out.”
“We’ll see about that.”
His face was grim. Kate recognized that look and was surprised it still had the ability to shock her. She should have learned by this time that his elegant demeanor hid a will of iron and a heart of gold. Not to mention fists of steel, God bless him. If there were any justice in the universe, her father would have landed on his useless head and killed himself when Alex punched him. She patted his knee. “Don’t worry about me, Alex. I know you don’t like to hear it, but I’ve learned to take care of myself, you know.”
“I know.” His scowl didn’t abate appreciably. “And I think it’s a dashed awful world that demands such sacrifices from young girls who ought to be loved and protected.”
Until Kate met Alex, she’d have considered such a sentiment not merely maudlin and silly but absolutely unheard of. Nobody in her whole life had expected to have to protect Kate Finney. Not even her brothers, mainly because they were all born within a four-year span, and had grown up protecting each other. Kate could recall helping Billy drag Walter out of their father’s reach during drunken rages. And they’d all tried to protect their mother. “Yeah,” she said. “That would have been nice.”
“We’ll take care of it,” he promised her.
Kate believed him. That is, she believed he meant it. Again she smiled.
Alex hefted her carpet bag as if it weighed nothing and toted it up the stairs to her flat. When she pushed the door open, the shabbiness of her living quarters smote her full in the face. Astonishing how one could get accustomed to the least felicitous surroundings, especially if one didn’t know any better. Although Kate had never thought twice about her apartment except to be grateful she had it, this time the thought of moving back into it after a weekend in the country made her stomach roll.
She stood beside the bag Alex had set down. “Thanks, Alex. You’ve been so good to us.”
“Nonsense. I don’t think my mother has had a better time since my father died. You and your family are a blessing to us, Kate.”
Right. And pigs could fly. Rather than say so, Kate smiled again. “Thanks. Talk about blessings, you’re the tops when it comes to blessings, Alex. As well you know.”
“Aw, Kate.”
He had a silly grin on his face when he closed the distance between them and took her in his arms. Kate and her unruly body responded to his embrace instantly. She’d have given her eyeteeth, had anyone offered for them, to be able to consummate another act of love before Alex left her life. Maybe tonight, she thought, even though she knew another intimate joining would only be taunting fate. She wasn’t going to marry Alex; she’d be a benighted fool to go to bed with him again anyway.
He deepened the kiss. She pressed against him shamelessly, wanting to feel his warmth for however much longer she had.
“Gad, Kate, I want you so badly.”
She already knew it, because she could feel his arousal pressing against her stomach. “I want you, too, Alex. But you need to get back to your sister.” It almost killed her to add that.
Alex groaned as he pulled away from her. “Soon,” he promised her. “Soon we’ll be able to love each other any time we want to.”
She stared at him, the word “love” having caught her by surprise. But no. She told herself not to be frivolous. He didn’t mean he loved her. Not the way she loved him. Rather, he was using the word as a—what was that word? Euphemism? Kate wasn’t sure, but she thought that was the one—for desire. “Yes,” she said at last, figuring she was probably damned anyhow, so what did one more lie matter at this point?
He hugged her hard once more. “I don’t want to leave you here, Kate.”
“I know you don’t.” She didn’t add that she didn’t want to stay, because she didn’t want to sound like a whiner. Besides, she had to get in touch with her brothers as soon as possible.
“I’m going to the Exposition before I go back to Mary Jo. I’ll talk to Madame Esmeralda and the Egyptians.”
“Tell them I’ll be back to work tomorrow.”
He didn’t like it. Kate could see it clearly as his expression turned mulish. She said sternly, “Alex.”
Throwing his hands in the air, he cried, “All right! I’ll tell them you’ll be back to work tomorrow—or maybe the day after. But you aren’t going to be working any longer than I can help, Kate.”
“Don’t tell them that, please. If you dare—”
“I won’t.” He rolled his eyes. “For the love of heaven, Kate, I’ve learned not to usurp what you consider your privileges by this time.”
“Privileges? Privileges?” She embraced her rage as a fortunate alternate to grief. “Nuts to privileges! I have the right to live my own life without your interference, darn it!”
“Oh, Lord, not again.”
She could tell his temper was tattered, too, and was contrite, although not enough so to moderate her tone when she spoke again. “Yes, darn it. Again. I’m not a compliant little rich girl, Alex. I’m Kate Finney, and I’m used to taking care of myself.”
His expression softened, and Kate’s heart lurched painfully. “I’m sorry, Kate. I know you’re an independent female. I guess we’ll have to work on getting used to each other’s . . . Ah . . . quirks.”
In spite of herself, Kate grinned. “That’s a good word for it. Diplomatic. You’re good at that, Alex.”
“You bet. I’m good at lots of things.”
He bent down and kissed her again, although she didn’t allow the kiss to linger. She wanted to. But she knew better. Life had taught Kate Finney that if a girl in her situation once allowed herself to fall victim to a man’s blandishments or her own heart’s longings, she was done for.
“I’ll pick you up in three hours, Kate. Be ready!”
“I will.”
He kissed her one last time before he departed. Kate flopped down on her the bed that served as a sofa during the day and wished she could just die now and get it over with. If God could only take her instead of Ma . . .
But no. Kate knew that her own passing would wound her mother. She guessed she was the stronger of the two of them. Therefore, it ought to be Kate who endured the pain of living. Her mother had taken enough abuse in her life. She’d probably be better off dead.
And, on that dismal thought, Kate removed her clothes and began washing herself, using cold water left over from before she left for the country, and wishing she were somebody else.
Chapter Seventeen
Alex felt as if he were walking on air as he strolled through the Columbian Exposition, his feet fairly bouncing with the weightlessness of his soaring heart, heading for Madame Esmeralda’s booth. He flung the door wide and marched right in, heedless of any possible future seekers who might be concentrating within.
The booth was empty. Alex looked around, peeved. Experimentally, he said, “Madame Esmeralda?�
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The beaded curtain at the back of the booth rattled, and Madame appeared, stuffing what looked like bread and cheese into her mouth. Although he didn’t know the woman well, he beamed at her. She looked as though she might have beamed back, had she not been chewing.
“I’m sorry for detaining Miss Finney from her work yesterday, Madame.” He felt a little silly calling her that, but he had no other name with which to work. “We both felt it would be better for her mother to remain at the farm for a while.”
The medium swallowed audibly and brushed her fingers against her striped skirt, as if to rid them of crumbs. “Aha. Is Mrs. Finney still in this world?”
What an odd way to ask the question. Nevertheless, having become remarkably tolerant in the short time he’d known Kate, Alex offered another smile to Madame. “Indeed, she is. Not stout of health, of course, but still on the earth.”
“Ah.” Madame walked over to the table holding her crystal ball and her deck of fortune-telling cards. Kate had told them they were called Tarot cards, but he didn’t know that of his own accord. “She won’t be here for long, though. You going to take care of Kate?”
The question took him aback. “Take care of her? Why . . . Well, yes. As a matter of fact, I’ve asked Kate to marry me, and she’s accepted.” As soon as the statement left his lips, he furrowed his brow, trying to recall exactly when Kate had accepted his proposal.
Oh, it didn’t matter. She had to marry him now. Not that she wouldn’t have done so even if they hadn’t jumped the gun and lain together before they officially became man and wife. But Alex decided he’d best not think about them having lain together, because the memories sparked too many desires that, having once been fulfilled, now clamored to be fulfilled again. And again and again.
Madame looked at him hard for a few seconds, then made a small gesture with her head that came across to Alex as a shrug might have done. “Ah,” she said again.
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