by Sammie Joyce
“I don’t know.” That more than anything rankled her. Rose had never had to answer “I don’t know” to a question in class, and she didn’t like it. Resolving to pay more attention, she pulled Annabelle’s notes toward her and started reading.
To her great surprise, concentrating on the lesson did indeed make her feel a little better. Rose still wanted to sink into a hole in the ground and never return—at least until Gavin did—but the sensation wasn’t as stifling as it had been before.
Trying to delay the moment when she’d have to tell Asher he was right, she asked Annabelle if she wanted to go for a walk. Her dragons trailed behind her.
Dane went off to get lunch, and Annabelle spent a solid ten minutes gushing about him. The glow of new love was all about her. It made Rose’s broken heart throb painfully.
Annabelle finally caught sight of Rose’s face, cutting herself off in mid-sentence. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be going on about Dane when you—I mean… how are you doing?”
Rose shrugged. “I’m alive, I guess, which is the best that can be said for now.”
“Any… any word from Gavin?”
“Nothing.” Rose bit her lip. She wouldn’t start crying again, not now. Crying wasn’t going to bring Gavin back—if it was, he would have returned about a hundred times before now.
“Well, you still have three other hot guys to choose from.” Annabelle gestured back to Asher, Mace, and Jagger.
Rose knew that she was simply trying to lighten the mood with a joke, but it didn’t do anything to cheer her up. “It’s not like that. They’re like my limbs. Being without one of them feels like a piece of me is missing. I don’t know where he is, or if he’s safe. I… I don’t know what to do, Annabelle. What do I do?”
“There’s nothing you can do. You can only wait for him to come back.”
“What if he’s hurt, or afraid, or feels like I don’t love him?”
“If he really needs help, he can call for you. I know you said he’s closed the mental connection, but he can re-open it in an instant, right?”
“Yes, but you don’t know Gavin. He may not call for help, even if it means his death. He probably thinks that we don’t want him here—that’s the only reason he would have stayed away for this long.”
“You can only wait for him. Whether you’re waiting miserably or waiting productively won’t make a difference to whether or not he comes back.”
Rose could feel Asher smirking at her back. “I don’t think Asher is going to give me much of a choice in that one.”
“Please. The guy worships the ground you walk on. If you really didn’t want to be here, you wouldn’t be.”
“Yeah, have you ever tried winning against Dane in a tussle? Believe me, if he wanted you to be somewhere, he would have no problem getting you there.”
“If you say so.” Annabelle clearly didn’t agree, but she wasn’t going to argue the case.
“Rose.”
She turned back to Asher. “Yes?” Rose tried to keep her voice at least civil. She was annoyed with him for dragging her out of bed, but she knew he only had her best interests at heart. She didn’t want to snap at him in her grief and then just have another thing to feel bad about.
“It’s lunch time. You shouldn’t skip any more meals.”
“I’m not really hungry right—”
“Would you prefer to walk, or be carried?”
Rose growled at him. Jagger burst out laughing. “You’re picking up bad habits from us. I still say your growl is more impressive than Mace’s.”
“Walk or carry, Rose?”
“Walk,” she muttered, turning resentfully down the hall that led to the dining room. As much as she loved him, right now, all she wanted was to get away from Asher.
Don’t blame him. Jagger spoke privately into her mind, where Asher and Mace couldn’t hear them. He’s being the bad guy so that Mace and I don’t have to, so that you’ll still have us to confide in when you’re too angry to talk to him. It’s what the clan leader does. I wish I had his strength.
Great, now she was feeling guilty over her anger at Asher. Rose didn’t reply to Jagger, worried she’d slip up and snap out angry words she didn’t mean. Her dragons were doing their best to take care of her. She should be grateful that she still had the three of them, but she couldn’t see past her heartbreak over Gavin.
It’ll get easier once you get back into a normal routine, Jagger encouraged. You’ll see.
So far, none of her dragons had been willing to discuss Gavin. Rose knew that they were battling with their own emotions over his departure. It was selfish of her to expect them to be calm and stable when it wasn’t just her who had lost a mate. They had lost a brother.
No. Gavin may be gone, but he wasn’t lost. She had to believe that.
The rest of the day dragged on. Rose was so exhausted by the end of it that she asked Mace to carry her back to their room. She drifted off in his arms, only rousing when he tucked her in. Asher crouched down so that his face was level with hers.
“Rose? Do you want me to sleep somewhere else tonight? I’d understand if you do.”
His words almost broke her heart all over again. Asher was risking her anger, knowing very well that it could permanently damage things between them, just to take care of her. He cared more for her wellbeing than his own heart, than keeping her love.
Rose moved over and pulled the covers up, inviting him in. “Get over here. Stop being dramatic.”
The relief on Asher’s face just made her feel like a horrible person for giving him such a hard time.
You’re not a horrible person. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met.
Just making me feel even more guilty here.
Asher kissed her forehead before pulling the blanket over the two of them. Jagger came on her other side, with Mace next to him.
Rose thought that she would fall asleep at once, but her doubts kept her awake. “Is there something else I should have done?” she asked quietly. Jagger had turned out the lights, and it was slightly easy to voice her fears in the dark, when all she could see was the faint glint of her dragons’ eyes. “Did I not treat Gavin as well as the rest of you? Should I have done more to make sure he knew just how much I love him?”
All three of them replied at once, talking over each other.
“Okay, okay, one at a time!”
Asher went first. “You did everything, my love. This isn’t your failing. It’s on Gavin, not you.”
“Asher is right. Gavin is my twin—I know him better than anyone, and even I didn’t see how much he was struggling. If he’d said something sooner, maybe this all could have been avoided, but he didn’t, and that was his choice.”
“Gavin should have trusted you with his heart. He should have known that if he told you he needed more than you were giving him, you wouldn’t turn him away. You’d do anything for him—for all of us. He should have known. We all do. It’s not you, Rose.”
Rose nodded. She’d suspected what they were going to say before she asked the question, but it felt good to hear the assurances aloud.
“You know, you’re all bending over backward to support me, but I know you have to be hurting too. I want to help you just as much as you want to help me. If any of you want to talk, you know you don’t have to hide your feelings from me. And if there’s anything I can do… please, ask. I can’t take losing another one of you like I lost Gavin.”
“It’s natural for us to try to protect our mate,” Asher explained. “But you’re right, it’s not helpful. I can see you’re exhausted, though. We can discuss our feelings more tomorrow. For now, sleep.”
Her mind finally set at ease, Rose drifted off into a deep and restful sleep.
Chapter Six
Rose woke to someone shaking her arm.
“Rose, it’s time for breakfast.”
Asher. Wonderful. “Five more minutes,” she mumbled.
“You’re going to be late for class. You
wouldn’t want Elaine starting to think you’re a slacker, now, would you?”
Jagger’s taunt worked. Rose hauled herself out of bed, tossing a pillow at him. “I’ll show you who’s a slacker.”
A mild pillow fight ensued, one which Rose was sure she only won because her dragons let her. She went to breakfast feeling more cheerful than she had felt since Gavin left.
By the time breakfast was done, her mood had tanked again. Rose didn’t understand the ups and downs of heartbreak, but they were exhausting. She saw Jagger and Asher exchanging a dark look.
“What?”
Jagger hesitated. “It’s really selfish, what Gavin is doing. I would have thought he’d be back by now. It’s not just us anymore—he has you to think about.”
“If he does return, I’m not sure I’ll be welcoming him back.” The fury in Asher’s voice had Rose backing up a step.
“What?”
“Anyone who thinks it’s acceptable to leave their mate in this much pain is not someone who is welcome in my clan.”
“Our clan, Asher! Our clan. Don’t you dare even think of turning Gavin away. He’s messed up, that much we all know, but how is kicking him out for good going to help anything? That’ll just make the pain we’re all feeling now permanent. Do you really want this to be permanent?”
Rose opened up her mind to him, showing him very clearly what she was feeling every day Gavin was gone.
Asher cringed. “I guess not.”
“Then let’s just hope he does come back, at which point we’ll welcome him with open arms.”
The others nodded. “Let’s get you to class,” Mace said eventually.
Some of the cloying despair lifted as Rose focused on the different types of shields. She at least did a better job at concentrating than she’d done yesterday. After lunch, she dragged Jagger back to the basement. Of course, Asher and Mace followed.
“I want to talk to Jagger alone for a minute, guys. I’m sure my safety won’t be compromised by you being just on the other side of the door.”
Asher grimaced, but he gestured for Mace to follow him. Rose was sure they would literally be pressing themselves up against the other side of the door, but in truth, she was grateful. She felt safer with her dragons near after that message from Hellith, even if it could get inconvenient at times.
Jagger gave her a cocky grin. “Couldn’t wait to get me alone, could you?”
Of course, his dirty thoughts set Rose’s own imagination off, and she had to force herself to concentrate on the issue at hand. “Jagger, is there any way you can break through the firewall Gavin has set up around his mind? You’re the closest to him. If anyone can do it, it’s you.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. I think you’d have a better chance than me. Gavin loves you more than anyone.”
“Believe me, I’ve tried. Please, could you give it a go? We don’t have anything to lose here.”
“I’m not so sure about that. Gavin might be able to feel us trying to get through—it depends on how deeply into his own head he’s retreated. He may be more tolerant of you, but if he feels me trying to get to him, it may just push him further away.”
Rose hadn’t realized that, but after a moment’s thought, she decided that it didn’t make a difference. “At this point, I don’t think anything is going to push him away further than thinking that we don’t care about him. Please, try.”
“If you think it’s best. Despite having known him the shortest time, I sometimes think you understand Gavin better than any of us. Give me a moment.”
Jagger closed his eyes. Rose couldn’t hear him speaking in his mind, presumably because he was trying to open a private connection with Gavin.
She was watching him closely, and she could tell exactly when something went wrong.
Jagger’s eyes snapped open, and he jerked back slightly, as though someone had shoved him.
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
“I—I don’t know. I’ve never felt anything like it before. It’s like Gavin’s mind is sheathed in a wall of ice.”
Rose’s heart sank. “It’s too strong to break through, then, just as you thought.”
“No, it’s not just that. This doesn’t feel normal. I’ve tried to break through to Gavin before when he’s run off. I’ve never felt anything like this. It’s not natural.”
“Not natural how?” Rose tried not to let her most nightmarish imaginations run away from her, but it was difficult with Jagger so worried. Jagger was prone to making jokes in even the direst of situations. If he was this worried, there was something serious going on.
“It’s like he’s being blocked from me externally—like there’s some power I don’t understand blocking the connection.”
“He’s not—Jagger, he is still alive, isn’t he? He has to be alive!”
“Yes, he’s alive,” Jagger assured her, pulling her into a hug. “I’d know if he was dead. That much is something we don’t have to worry about. But I don’t know what this could be.”
“Is it magic, do you think?”
“I don’t see how it could be. All of the witches and dragons are here.”
“Except Hellith.”
“Let’s not let our fears get the best of us,” Jagger said quickly. “I know it’s easy to assume the worst, but it’s probably nothing more than Gavin having found some new way to block us out. He may even be doing it just to make me worry—I wouldn’t put it past him at this point.”
“But if Hellith does have him…”
“Gavin may be stubborn, but I don’t believe he’s willing to die over this. He knows he’s no match for Hellith. If she was trying to kill him, he would open the bond and call for help—that much I’m sure of.”
Rose knew Jagger was right about that. Gavin may be angry right now, but he wasn’t an idiot. Still, the idea of Hellith somehow having drawn him into her grasp wouldn’t leave her alone. The cold fear sat in her chest, making her feel like the block of ice Jagger had felt in Gavin’s mind.
“Hey, come here. Try not to worry. We’ll talk to Asher and reevaluate in a few days if Gavin isn’t back by then.”
Jagger wrapped his arms around her. Rose sighed into the warmth, feeling like the ice in her heart was melting. She wrapped her legs around him too, enjoying the feeling of his body against hers.
“Make love to me,” Rose whispered.
“Your wish is my command… and my wish too. I thought you’d never ask.” Jagger winked at her. Rose chuckled, but that was quickly turned into a moan as Jagger started kissing her.
He pushed her gently onto the bed, kissing his way all down her front. He unbuttoned her shirt and reached behind her to get to the clasp of her bra.
Rose eagerly tossed the fabric aside, bearing her breasts to him. She could feel Jagger’s cock hardening against her thigh as he kissed her breasts. Rose’s nipples hardened under his tongue. He used his hands to cover her breasts and squeeze them gently before going back to licking her nipples.
Her panties were getting steadily wetter, and Rose pressed her legs together, wanting some pressure on her clit. Of course, Jagger was in her head and read the thought as she thought it.
He sent her an image of her spreading her legs. Rose did it at once, lifting her hips a bit to let him pull down her pants and panties in one. Jagger ran a hand through the wet folds of her pussy.
Rose shuddered under his touch. He paid attention to her disordered thoughts, picking up which touches were the best. Unsurprisingly, those thoughts led him to licking her clit. Rose forced herself to move before she got lost in pleasure and didn’t remember anything else.
She shifted around so that she could reach his cock with her mouth. Jagger thrust eagerly toward her. Rose choked slightly for a moment, but quickly regained her composure. When she’d first met her dragons, she’d had no experience whatsoever. That had changed a lot over the past year. Now, she knew exactly how to make each one of them wild.
Jagger liked it when she fli
cked her tongue over the head of his cock after every deep suck. She soon had his rhythm on her clit stuttering as he became overwhelmed with pleasure. By the jerky movement he was making, Rose knew that it wouldn’t be long before he came.
As much as she loved the feeling of him coming into her mouth, Rose wanted his cock inside her more. She pulled away, her aching clit protesting loudly as she did so.
Jagger sat up, lifting her onto his lap. Rose sat down on his cock, moaning at the feeling. They’d gotten the angle perfect. She wasn’t in a good position to move as she was, with her legs straight out in front of her, going past Jagger’s back, but it didn’t matter. Jagger was strong enough to move her up and down easily with just his arms.
He started slowly at first, but as they both got caught up in the breathless pleasure of their connection, he started slamming her down harder and faster. Rose kissed him deeply, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Rose broke away from the kiss, grunting in helpless pleasure as she was pierced repeatedly on Jagger’s cock. He nuzzled his head down between her breasts, then turned slightly so that he could suck one nipple. He sucked hard, and the thrill of pleasure mixed in with a tiny bit of pain was enough to tip Rose over the edge.
Her back arched as she came, her pussy squeezing the length of Jagger’s cock as she did. With a cry, he came too, sending his hot, wet seed into her.
Rose fell limply forward, her head resting on his shoulder. Jagger lay back, positioning her on her side, cuddled up close to him.
For a long time, they lay that way, his softened cock still inside her. Rose thought that she could stay like this forever.
Unfortunately, reality was not amenable to such wishes. A knock on the door drew her out of her post-orgasmic haze.
“Rose, it’s time for your next class. Do you still want to go?”
Asher’s voice was remarkably composed, considering what he’d just heard. Rose had completely forgotten that he and Mace were waiting just outside.
“Not really,” she called back. “Why don’t you two join us?”
Asher and Mace came in at once. Both of them were sporting raging boners. Mace’s face was red, but Asher looked unembarrassed.
