Andy was silent. His eyes seemed to be glazed over. His lips parted but it took a moment for words to come forth. “I don’t know. I guess you’ll have to ask her,” he said, and then he forced that strange uncomfortable smile that seemed so out of character. He turned his attention back to his screen and continued playing his video game. Grant slipped out of Andy’s room and he returned to the kitchen to check on his dinner. But now he was more confused than ever. There was something weird going on, but Grant couldn’t seem to wrap his head around what.
CHAPTER IV
Andy was killed rather quickly in his video game—so he started another match, and then he was killed again. He was off his game. He couldn’t focus the way he usually focussed. His teammates were shouting at him through his headset. “What the hell are you doing out there? You’re going to ruin our ranks!” one teammate yelled. So Andy figured it was probably best to hang up the controller for the evening. But he was too afraid to leave his bedroom, too afraid to be down in the living room when Sarah came back from her trip into town.
He didn’t know why he was so keen on avoiding her—he couldn’t possibly hide in his bedroom for the next three weeks. He would have to come out eventually—not to mention, if he hid throughout the whole duration of her visit, then she likely wouldn’t feel so welcome.
He heard her return to the house around 7:00 PM. The sound of her heels on the floor downstairs made his heart quiver. That was his old friend—his old best friend. They were inseparable in elementary school. They would hang out together every day after school, and on weekends they would alternate houses to sleepover at. Andy always preferred the sleepovers at Sam’s house, because Sam had a big basement and Sam’s parents never dragged Andy to church. But even at church, they still had fun. They would sneak away after mass and they would always find strange rooms to explore.
And then one day, Sam just left, and Andy never heard from him again. It was a few years later, after Facebook became a popular thing, when Andy finally tried reaching out—but Sam didn’t have a profile—at least not one that Andy could find. He tried a few more times to find Sam over the years, but after a while, he just gave up. His best friend was gone and that was just something he had to deal with.
But now his best friend was back—or was he? Was Sarah really the same person? Sure, she remembered all of those afterschool hangouts and all of the sleepovers, but did that mean she was really the same person? She was a girl now—and a strangely convincing girl. It probably wouldn’t have been so weird if she weren’t so convincing. But she was hardly recognizable—except for those eyes. Those were still Sam’s eyes.
Andy heard her down in the kitchen now. It sounded like she was talking to Grant. How long would it take for Grant to realize that Sarah was a transgender? He’d asked if she was single—so he obviously hadn’t figured it out yet. But when he did figure it out, what would he think? Would he mock her? Would he come upstairs and mock Andy? Or would he instantly become embarrassed when he remembered that he asked Andy if she was single?
Or was Andy just allowing himself to become irrationally paranoid? That girl downstairs was still his old best friend, whether he liked it or not. It was still that same friend from all those afternoon hangouts and weekend sleepovers. Andy had still spent half of a summer with that girl at her family’s cabin, in the fifth grade. So he knew it was only right to go downstairs and treat her like a proper guest. But Andy just couldn’t seem to will himself to open his bedroom door, to let himself out.
He took a deep breath. “Just calm down,” he mumbled to himself. “Just act normal.” He looked down at the doorknob and took another deep breath. He couldn’t figure out why he was so stressed out. He closed his eyes and turned the knob.
When he opened his eyes, he could see the stairs that would lead him to the kitchen, where Sarah was currently chatting casually with Grant. He took a few steps and could already feel his body becoming stiff.
He’d convinced himself that his eyes had lied to him the night before—that Sarah wasn’t really terribly convincing or beautiful. When he first saw her, before he realized she was Sam, he thought she was gorgeous, with her big eyes and her long brown hair. But he was tired—he’d been up early that morning for a work interview, and he’d spent the rest of the day playing video games—and video games can be terribly draining, staring at a flashing screen all day. Surely she wasn’t actually beautiful, and surely she wasn’t actually that convincing; she was Sam, after all, and Sam was your quintessential boy. He was lanky with short hair, and he would always wear long shorts and black t-shirts and shoes made especially for skateboarders…
Andy turned the corner and saw her back. She was standing and watching Grant as he prepared food. She was wearing another short skirt that didn’t do much to cover her bum. And her blouse was open in the back, showing off almost her whole bare back. Her skin looked smooth and tight and unquestionably feminine—even though Andy knew better. Her legs seemed to lack the muscle definition that most men had—was that from the hormones she was taking? And what about that ass? Her ass was perky and round—hormones can’t do that, can they?
She turned around slowly and her gaze met with Andy’s, and Andy became terribly stiff. He tried to force a smile before rigidity took over his whole body, but his smile didn’t feel convincing. “How was your day out?” he said in a tone that was louder than anticipated.
She smiled. “It was fun,” she said. She turned around, showing off her stunning front side. Her blouse was buttoned down once again, showing off that impressive cleavage, which had been created by lots of hormones and likely an expensive surgery.
She wasn’t wearing a bra. As she turned back to the table to pick up her drink, Andy could see under her shirt. He caught a very quick glimpse of her nipple as she spun back. His heart skipped a beat. Then he stuttered. “So, uh, where did you go?” he asked, feeling blood rushing into his cheeks.
Sarah started to explain where she’d spent her day. Andy struggled to pay attention—especially when Sarah turned and was looking away. It was almost impossible for Andy not to sneak a peek of her body. He still couldn’t believe that it was real—even if there were surgeries involved, it was still impressive. And she really was convincing—even her voice was amazingly convincing. But how was it possible? Was it just a fake voice that she’d gotten extremely used to using, or was that from the hormones too?
And if she was a girl now, did that mean she was into men? And what was between her legs: a pussy or a cock? It wouldn’t be hard to find out for sure—her skirt was so short, all Andy would have to do was bend over and look up, but he was too afraid to do it. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to know what was under that skirt. It’s not like he had any interest in being anything more than friend with her. Even then, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be friends with her. What would people think? What would his parents think?
“Andy?” she said. He snapped out from his daze and forced a smile.
“Yes?” he said.
“I asked you what you got up to today,” she said with a small chuckle. Grant chuckled as well. Oh God—did Grant think that Andy was interested in Sarah romantically? Andy’s heart plunged into his stomach. He took a deep breath.
“I, uh, just took a day off. I played some games, tidied up a little bit—that kind of thing. And you? I mean—I know what you did, you just told me.” He laughed nervously. “Sorry, I guess I didn’t get the best sleep last night. I think I have a cold. I woke up in the middle of the night with a runny nose and it just wouldn’t go away. Isn’t that the worst when that happens? So what do you have on deck for tomorrow?” He bit down on his tongue and felt more blood rush into his cheeks.
He was flustered. She was beautiful and he just couldn’t deny it, no matter how hard he tried. She didn’t just look like a woman—she looked like the kind of woman that Andy would have asked out on a date. She was the kind of woman Andy fantasized about. And now, Grant was looking at Andy with a big grin. Grant k
new Andy’s type, so he surely knew that Sarah was his type: petite and brunette, with big gentle eyes and a cute smile. Hell, she was every guy’s type. What guy doesn’t want a petite brunette with big beautiful eyes and long smooth legs? Maybe a guy who doesn’t want to be with a biological man…
“Andy?” Grant said.
And Andy snapped out of yet another daze. “Yeah?” he said, refocusing his vision onto his friend.
“She asked you what you’re doing for the rest of the night tonight,” he said.
“Me?”
“Both of us—I said nothing. But I don’t know what you’re doing.”
“I, uh, have nothing planned,” he said. He wanted to come up with a lie so he could get away from her—so he didn’t have to torment himself with the strange conflict that was brewing in his head. But he couldn’t think of anything, especially after he’d just told them that he’d taken the day off, and Grant knew that he didn’t work.
“Well there’s this bar that I’ve been told to check out. Maybe you guys can come with me,” Sarah said with that big, cute smile. She walked past Andy on her way to the living room. He caught a whiff of her and his heart melted a little bit in his chest. She smelled like a flowery meadow, and she was radiating a peculiar warmth.
“Okay,” Andy said. It took him a moment to even realize he’d said it. He really was flustered like a teenaged boy—even though he knew Sarah’s true identity.
CHAPTER V
Grant had a tremendous night bowling with Andy and Sarah—though it would have been even better had Andy not been there. It only took Grant about thirty minutes to realize that Andy had a bit of a crush on Sarah.
Grant made the realization when he was emerging from the bathroom. Sarah was up at the top of the lane, lining up her throw. Andy was watching with glowing eyes. His gaze slowly travelled down Sarah’s body and ended on her bum. His body became tense as she bent over—she threw her ball with both hands, with her legs spread into a wide stance. Grant had never seen Andy stare at a girl like that before—and Grant wasn’t thrilled to have the competition, especially because Andy had the obvious advantage of actually knowing Sarah.
They were old friends with lots to talk about—though they weren’t talking much. When Sarah went to sit with Andy at the score table, Andy became tense and silent. Grant never thought Andy was a shy guy, but as he thought about it more, he realized he’d never seen Andy around a crush before. Maybe this was just the way he got around girls he liked.
When Grant got up to get some nachos and another beer, he looked back and saw Andy staring at Sarah’s tush again—it looked like he was trying to get a peek up her skirt. Grant laughed. And then he wondered if he should give Sarah to Andy. All night, he’d been chatting Sarah up, complimenting her, trying to figure out what makes her tick so he could have a shot of getting into her panties. But she was Andy’s friend and she was there because of Andy—so maybe Andy should be the one to get her.
But after three games, Andy was still silent and tense. His face was a constant shade of red, and he would force big, awkward smiles every time Sarah looked his way. He looked scared and uncomfortable—lost in a fantasy involving his old childhood friend. But when Grant was talking with Sarah, he didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. In fact, he felt more comfortable than ever. All of Sarah’s stories were strangely relatable, and she wasn’t like the other girls Grant had met in his life. She was different—she was easy going and funny and she knew how to have fun. In a weird way, it was like hanging out with a guy. Except she was a gorgeous girl, so it was so much better.
“Should I try throwing the ball the way you throw it?” Sarah asked Grant. And she was referring to the proper way of throwing the ball—with one hand and an approach.
Grant laughed. “Yeah, you probably should. Once you get used to it, it’s much easier and it’s actually legal.”
“What do you mean, legal?” Sarah asked.
“Well, if this was a bowling tournament—not that I’ve ever bowled in a bowling tournament—you would be penalized for throwing with both hands. I mean—it’s fine for this. I don’t care and I don’t think Andy cares. But you should probably give the proper way a try.” Grant found himself rambling a bit, feeling strangely flustered, which wasn’t like him. He took a deep breath and gathered his composure, and then he watched as Sarah attempted to throw the bowling ball properly. It went straight into the gutter. “Here, do you mind if I show you?” he said, standing up.
He went up behind her and reached around her, showing her how to properly hold the ball. Then he slowly swung her through the motions. He could feel Andy’s gaze burning against his back. Would Andy be angry? Would he be jealous? As Sarah practiced the motions, Grant could feel her soft tush pushing against his crotch. He bit down on his tongue in an attempt to suppress the erection that wanted to grow inside of his pants. He took a step back to ensure that erection didn’t happen—it was his throw next after all, and he didn’t want to step up to that lane with a big bulge in his pants. “Give that a try,” he said, moving back to his seat quickly.
Sarah threw the ball—it wasn’t the greatest bowling throw ever, but she knocked down four pins, which got her excited. “I did it!” she said with a small cheer.
“That was great,” Grant said. He looked over at Andy. “Wasn’t that great?”
Andy’s face was still red. His gaze was lost inwards. He looked like he hadn’t even heard Grant’s question. Was he feeling betrayed? Grant looked away quickly, feeling strangely guilty. He took a deep breath and then thought to himself: if Andy wants her, he can have her—but he has to make some sort of move first to prove it. Until Andy made some sort of move, Grant was going to continue his pursuit.
“I’m going to get another pitcher of beer for us,” Grant said. As he stood up, he noticed Andy’s glass was still full—he hadn’t taken a sip. He was lost deep in his mind. Maybe he wasn’t feeling well. “You okay, bud?” Grant asked.
Andy looked up slowly, and then his gaze finally returned to the real world. He forced a smile. “I’m great,” he said. “I guess I’m just not very good at bowling.” And he really wasn’t. Most of his throws ended up in the gutter, but he didn’t seem to care. He was more interested in staring at Sarah when no one was looking—Grant caught him again when he was returning with a new pitcher of beer.
Sarah was handling her liquor surprisingly well for a petite woman. Grant couldn’t help but notice that she’d poured herself five glasses throughout that night—and each glass was about twenty ounces. Her cheeks had turned a darker shade of red (which only made her look cuter) and she wobbled slightly whenever she stood up, but otherwise there were no signs that she was drunk. Grant, on the other hand, could hardly walk in a straight line. In the final game of the night, he ended up throwing half of his balls into the gutter. Sarah came up behind him and tried to show him how to properly throw the ball—imitating him from earlier. They had a good laugh, and then, for a brief moment, they looked into each other’s eyes and they were silent.
“We should probably get a cab home,” Grant said. The three of them went outside and hailed the first cab that went by. Fifteen minutes later, they were home. Andy went straight to his bedroom without saying more than “Goodnight!” Grant still couldn’t decide if he was feeling sick or if he was feeling betrayed. But in that moment, Grant was too drunk to care. Now he had Sarah alone, and Sarah was staring into his eyes with that adorable smile on her face. “Want to see my bedroom?” he asked her.
“Sure,” she said.
He reached out his hand and she took it gently. He led her up the stairs and into his bedroom. He closed the door carefully behind them, so that Andy wouldn’t hear what happened next.
CHAPTER VI
Sarah was shocked when Grant went in for the kiss. She became still, but she kissed back. How could she not kiss back? Grant was a handsome guy. He was funny and nice, and he didn’t seem to care that Sarah used to be a man. Though Sarah couldn’t help bu
t wonder if Grant thought she’d transitioned completely. Maybe he thought there was a pussy between her legs, and not a long throbbing cock…
He slipped his hands around her sides and he pulled her close. Her hands ended up under his shirt, on his chest. She felt his pecs and then she heard herself whimpering slightly. He was stronger than she’d expected. His body was warm and comforting. She took another step closer, pressing her chest against his body. Now his arms were around her completely. She had to stand up on her toes to keep her lips pressed against his.
Her heart was pounding. She’d never had sex before. Most guys ran away as soon as she told them she used to be a guy. The ones who didn’t run away were always creeps—fetishists looking to satisfy some trans fantasy. But Grant didn’t seem like a trans-fetishist. He was a nice, funny, normal guy. He was handsome and strong and he had a big cock—Sarah was feeling it now, with her hand down between his legs. She let out another little whimper.
But why would a handsome, strong, normal guy want to be with a trans chick? Sarah tried to think of a reason, and then she thought: maybe he doesn’t actually know. Maybe Andy never told him. Maybe Andy and Grant weren’t as close as she assumed—or maybe Andy was too embarrassed to tell him. Sarah’s heart sunk into her gut and she stopped kissing. “Is everything okay?” Grant asked.
She looked into his eyes. Maybe she wasn’t about to lose her virginity. Maybe she wasn’t about to finally get with a guy… “I’m fine,” she said, forcing a smile. She could feel warmth rushing into her cheeks. She took a deep breath as Grant slipped a hand gently around her head. He smiled—he really was handsome. He pulled her head in closer and then he kissed her again. And then Sarah thought: maybe he does know. Maybe there’s nothing to worry about. Or maybe he just won’t care—he seems nice and understanding.
“You’re tense—just relax,” Grant said.
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