by Neal Jones
"Marc?"
He turns, surprised. Laura is standing only a few feet away. The mourners are still at the gravesite, slowly breaking into small groups, offering their condolences to Laura's mother and brother.
"Hi." It sounds stupid, but it's the only thing he can think of to say.
"Hi," she responds. An awkward silence hangs between them. Somewhere in the distance, probably atop one of the many pines that line the cemetery, a bird begins to warble.
"I didn't see your sister," Marc says at last. That, too, sounds dumb, but it's better than the silence.
"She couldn't make it. She and daddy never got along that well anyway."
"I'm sorry," Marc blurts. "For your loss, I mean. Stephanie called me."
"It's okay. Thanks."
Another awkward silence. Laura turns to go.
"Do you want a ride?"
She turns back. "Excuse me?"
"I have a taxi waiting at the front gate."
Laura glances over her shoulder. Her mother and brother are still surrounded by extended family and friends. She turns to Marc. "Sure."
She falls in step beside him and they walk the rest of the way in silence. Her eyes are red and swollen, and a wadded up tissue is clutched in one fist.
"Where are we headed?" she asks as soon as they settle into the back seat.
"I was going to ask you that. Are you hungry?"
Laura shrugs. "I guess." She leans forward and presses the intercom. "The Starlight Café, please. The one on the corner of 4th and main."
"Sure thing," the driver replies. A moment later, the small craft lifts into the air and sails smoothly away from the cemetery gates.
Marc and Laura look out their respective windows as the countryside passes quickly beneath them. The ride is over in just a few minutes, and Laura steps out onto the café's roof while Marc scans his credit chip in the pay slot. He tells the driver to have a nice day, and then joins Laura. They exit the PTL on the main floor, and both are relieved that the restaurant is relatively empty. Laura asks the hostess to seat them at a table in the corner near the front window.
"Would you like to hear our lunch specials?" the young woman asks cheerfully.
"No thanks," Laura says. "I just want a coffee, black."
"I'll have the same," Marc adds. "Cream and sugar on the side, please."
Laura drapes her coat on the back of her chair, and then pulls her compad from her purse to write her mother a quick message.
Marc waits until she's finished. He hadn't really expected Laura to accept his offer of a ride, and now he's not sure how to break the silence.
"How's your classes this year?" she asks, stuffing her compad back into her purse.
"Good. Definitely more of a challenge than last year. We're doing a lot more combat simulations in the Hiver this year; learning advanced starship operations and all that."
"Good." Laura nodded.
The waitress returns with their coffees.
"How about you?" Marc asked. "You're done with graduate school, right?"
"I will be in May. I'm in the process of applying to the Federation Corps of Engineers. I'm hoping to get into the Anthro-Tech division."
"Oh, that's right. I remember." Marc sips his coffee and then adds a little more sugar.
Laura stares into her mug, lost in thought.
"I miss you," Marc admits quietly.
She glances up. "What?"
He clears his throat. "I said I miss you."
Laura doesn't say anything. She stares at Marc for a minute or two, and he just stares back. "Well?" he prompts.
"Is that what this is about? You're here to take advantage of me in my time of grief?"
Marc pushes his chair back and stands. "Forget it. Goodbye."
"Marc, stop. Sit down."
"Why? Just so we can have another argument? No thanks. I knew this was a mistake. See you later." He swipes his credit chip over the table's portable scanner and then storms out of the restaurant.
"Marc, wait!" Laura fumbles with her jacket and purse as she follows him, and she nearly falls on the slippery sidewalk as she runs to catch up to him. "Marc!"
He stops and turns. "Why does everything have to be a confrontation with you, Laura?? Why do you make it so godsdamn difficult all the time??"
"You're the one who didn't want to get back together!" she fires back. She catches the eye of a woman and a little boy as they pass by. They're staring at her. "What? You never seen anyone fight before?"
Marc closes the distance between them, and the mother hurries her son along, scowling at Laura over her shoulder. "You cheated on me! Of course I didn't want to get back together!"
"So why the fuck are you here?"
"Because –" he stops himself.
"Because you've missed me, right?"
"Yes! I miss you! Obviously you don't feel the same!"
Laura looks at him, smiling, her arms crossed over her chest.
"Did I say something funny?"
"It pisses you off, doesn't it? You can't get over the fact that I cheated on you, and yet you can't stop thinking about me. About us."
Marc just shakes his head and sighs. "Fuck you." He turns and starts walking away.
"Marc, I love you."
For the second time he stops and turns back. "What?"
"I said I love you."
He doesn't know what to say, and for a moment the two of them just stand there, letting the words hang in the air like the icicles from the eaves of the nearby shops and restaurants.
She finally walks to him, wiping her eyes, feeling angry and frustrated – and tired. All she wants right now is to sleep. "Thank you," she says quietly. "I am glad that you came today."
Marc is still wary, but he reaches out nonetheless and she welcomes his embrace. They're receiving curious glances from the passers-by, but neither of them cares. After a few minutes Marc pulls back and says, "It's freezing out here. Let's go back to the restaurant."
Laura shakes her head. "I have a better idea." She has spied a hotel at the end of the block, and she takes Marc by the hand, leading him towards it.
No sooner has the door to their room closed behind them than they are grasping at one another's clothes in frenzied lust. They fall onto the bed, and he enters her, thrusting in rapid rhythm while still trying to shuck his pants. She didn't get her skirt off in time, but it doesn't matter now, and all she wants is for him to go faster...faster...faster...
Later, when the first round is over, they finish undressing, and he fucks her again, but slower this time, and he kisses every part of her, making her skin sizzle as he brings her to orgasm again...and again...and again. She weeps as she laughs, and then she apologizes, but he silences her with a long kiss, showing her that he understands.
There are no more words spoken for the rest of the day and all that night. They make love three more times, and then again as soon as they awake the next morning. Laura closes her eyes, matching her thrusts with his, and as she climaxes she wraps her arms around his broad back and promises herself that she will never let him go.
In less than six months she will break his heart one last time.
Chapter 26
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( 1 )
COMMANDER DECEV STEPPED OUT OF the PTL, balancing her lunch packet and her soda in both hands as she looked for an empty bench along the glass wall of the observation dome. There weren't as many people here as she had expected, and she was grateful for that. It had been a hectic morning, and she was looking forward to an hour of peace and quiet.
Mariah walked to the left for a ways before she spotted a small bench in a corner by itself, and there was an equally small table as well. The science officer sat, opened her lunch, and then pulled a compad from her pocket. Because of her busy schedule of late, she hadn't yet caught up on her personal correspondence from last month, and she was eager to hear more about the new man in her sister's life.
The commander was on page two of
the letter when she became aware of something that sounded like muffled weeping. She put down the compad, swallowed the last bite of her sandwich, and glanced around. Part of the reason she'd chosen this bench and table was because of a short length of bulkhead that divided this spot from the rest of the deck. It was one of several dozen that were placed at even intervals along the glass wall of the observation dome, splitting the large deck into broad sections. It was one of the reasons so many of the station's inhabitants – especially couples in love – enjoyed coming here. Each of the spots where the partitions were placed created cozy corners for talking quietly, or kissing, or –
- or crying, in this case.
Mariah quickly determined that the sound was coming from the other side of the partition, and she debated for a minute or two whether or not to peek. She still had fifty minutes left of her lunch break, and she'd already had one emotional counseling session with someone this week. That made her wonder if the crier on the other side of the wall was Jennifer, and Mariah sighed. She and Jennifer had become friends, more or less, since that afternoon in the PTL, and Mariah sighed once more as she came to a decision.
She casually leaned back and peered around the partition.
It was Doctor Sysko. Mariah had leaned back far enough that she was close to losing her balance, and the sight of Laura sobbing quietly - her head bowed, her back to Mariah - was enough to startle the science officer so badly that she nearly lost her balance altogether. She saved herself by grabbing the edge of the wall, but not quietly enough to keep her presence unnoticed by Laura.
Mariah quickly withdrew her hand and turned her back to the partition. She reached for her bag of chips while listening intently to the sniffling from the other side of the wall. The sobbing had ebbed, and Laura was blowing her nose.
Please don't come over here, please don't come over here, Mariah repeated silently to herself. She grabbed her compad and pretended to be reading, but the sound of footsteps coming around the wall made her inwardly groan. She had no choice but to look up.
"Hi," Mariah said.
"Hello," Laura replied. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was sitting over here."
"I just got here," the science officer said, smiling sympathetically.
Laura blushed, smoothing her hair and wiping her eyes. "I needed to get out of my quarters and there's only so many places on this station aren't off limits to non-military personnel...and, well, I've never been up here before, so now seemed like as good as opportunity as any..." She trailed off as she realized she was rambling, and she sighed. "I'm sorry. I should just go."
She turned and started walking away, and Mariah almost let her go. "Laura, wait!" She motioned to the nearby bench. "Have a seat. I've still got forty-five minutes until I have to be back in opcon."
"Are you sure? I really don't want to intrude."
"Yes, I'm sure. Sit. You'll be my second counseling session for the week."
"Your second?"
"Never mind. Um...I take it that things between you and Keith aren't going so well?"
"You could say that," Laura sighed. "We broke up last night, and it wasn't very...amicable."
Mariah nodded, munching a potato chip as she waited for Laura to continue. She held out the bag.
"No, thank you." Laura blew her nose again, and then scrubbed another hand through her hair. She sighed. "I don't know what’s wrong with me. I really don't. Keith was a perfectly nice guy; well, no, he was more than nice. He was great. He and Jeanette hit it off the first time they met, and that's when I knew he was worth keeping. Of course, Alec and Braden also got along well with Jeanette, but Keith was different than them. There was just...something about him." She shook her head. "I don't know. It's hard to define, but after our second date, and then after he met Jeanette, I knew that he was worth marrying. And that he was probably the one whom I would grow old with. I guess that's what really made me feel good about him – and about us. Third time around was the charm. I'd finally found somebody who understood me, and accepted me for me, even with all of my faults and shortcomings - and all my bullshit."
Laura frowned, thinking some more, and her gaze wandered to the viewport as she continued. "That's what I really couldn't quite believe when he asked me to marry him three months ago. It seemed so fast, but at the time it also seemed so right. We'd had our share of arguments by then, but it was different fighting with him than it was with Alec and Braden – or even Marc. It was almost as if he never took it personally. I could never quite get under his skin, and that just made me all the more angry with him." She gave a rueful laugh. "But he never left. He would always just wait until I was done yelling, and then we would end up talking about whatever it was we were fighting about."
Laura paused again, toying with her Kleenex, as she stared at the floor. After a minute or two she looked up at Mariah. "Marc was right. I'm a coward. I don't know exactly when I decided that this engagement wasn't right, but it must have been a few weeks ago, because I just kept putting off the wedding plans. I'm sure on a subconscious level I was hoping that Keith would eventually figure it out and call me on it, which is what happened last night."
"I think that's called being passive aggressive, not cowardice," Mariah said, popping the last few crumbs into her mouth and crumpling the bag.
"Yeah, it is," Laura agreed. "It's something I'm really good at, which is one reason Marc and I had such a rocky relationship."
Mariah swallowed the last of her soda, and then cleared her throat. "If you don't mind my asking, why did you keep getting back together with Marc? You two only knew each other for a couple of years, right?"
Laura nodded. "We met during the summer between his first and second years at the academy, and I had just started grad school. And the truth is, I honestly don't know. Even today, twenty-three years later, there's still something about him that...that makes me feel like a giddy, stupid teenager. When I first met him he didn't act like all the other cadets that came into that bar. In fact, that's the reason I hated going to that place with Stephanie. She liked it when those men in uniform hit on her and bought her drinks. Most of those guys thought that because they were on a weekend pass and that they were in uniform we girls would think ourselves so lucky to be able to spend an evening with them."
Mariah start snickering, and Laura glanced at her.
"Yeah, it was pretty awful."
Mariah shook her head. "That's not why I'm laughing. When I first met Marc on the Tokyo, that's exactly how he acted. It wasn't as if he had a different woman in his cabin every night, but he did work his way through a third of the junior officers during those three years I knew him. And I just kept asking myself what the hell they saw in him. Yeah, he's a good looking guy, and he knows how to say all the right things and tell you exactly what you want to hear, but he was never interested in anything more than a one night stand. I never understood how somebody could be that superficial when it came to relationships."
Laura was listening with a bemused expression, and she cocked her head, puzzled. "He wasn't like that at all. Not when I first met him. In fact, he was completely opposite of that. He was shy, nervous, awkward, and he kept fidgeting with his uniform jacket, like it didn't quite fit. Even though he was only four years younger than me, I remember thinking that this kid and I had nothing in common. I even made a bet with myself that he was still a virgin."
"He wasn't."
"I know. He told me about his high school girlfriend on our third date."
Mariah shrugged, smiling. "It's good to know he wasn't always so arrogant and full of himself."
Laura gasped, staring at Mariah. "You're blushing."
"What? I am not!"
"Yes, you are!" She grinned. "You're attracted to him, aren't you?"
Mariah busied herself with gathering the trash from her lunch and shoving it into the empty sack. "No, no I'm not."
"It's okay. It's not as if you'll have competition from me. I'm leaving in a couple days for Gateway Prime, and I
have no desire to get back together with Marc."
Mariah had started to rise, but she stopped herself and looked at Laura. "Why?"
"Are you serious?" Laura snorted.
"Yes, I am. You two belong together. Ever since your arrival here, he's been distracted, and not just because of what he suffered two months ago. He can't stop thinking about you. Haven't you seen the look on his face any time you two are in the same room together?"
"It doesn't matter." Laura rose. "Marc and I were over long ago, and it's better that way. Enjoy the rest of your lunch, and...thanks for listening."
Mariah watched the doctor leave the observation deck, and she frowned as she sipped the last of her soda. She tried to finish Beth's letter, but all she could think about was Marc as a second-year cadet, fidgeting with his uniform, trying to look as if he knew what he was doing as he approached Laura's table.
The image made her smile, and it was all she thought about for the rest of the day.
( 2 )
Laura stepped out of the shower and took her time drying her hair. She stared at her reflection, lost in thought, and it was Jeanette's voice that finally startled her back to reality.
"Mom, are you all right? You've been running that thing for twenty minutes." She pointed to the hair dryer.
Laura grimaced as she shut it off and replied irritably, "What are you doing in here?"
"I just came to tell you that dinner's ready. Sorry if I intruded."
Laura sighed and followed her daughter into the bedroom. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap."
Her daughter shrugged. "It's okay. No, not those pants. The blue ones. I laid 'em out for you." She pointed to the chair beside the bed.
"How do you know I'm not going anywhere tonight?"
"Because I made us dinner, and then we're going to watch a couple movies, and then you're going to bed early. You look exhausted, mom, and your team arrives tomorrow. It's time to focus on work."
