by Neal Jones
"So he was a ladies' man."
"Oh yes, very much so. That's what really turned him off to me. He had this cocksure, swaggering style to his personality that made me want to punch him in the face."
"I know what you mean," Jennifer chuckled. "Ben was a little like that when I first met him."
"Ben? Really? He doesn't seem that type at all."
"Oh, I know. You'd never know it to look at him now, but when I met him he was just a lieutenant, and he was a field medic. His ship was assigned to the Grayd sector during the war, and I was a waitress in the officers' lounge on Starbase 327."
"Whoa, wait a minute. You? A waitress?"
Jennifer smiled. "I know, and I wasn't a good one either. It didn't take long before I figured out that wasn't my calling. Anyways, I had only been there a month, and this medical officer walks in, strolls right up to the bar, and says, 'Excuse me, but I suffer from anterograde amnesia. I can't remember if I come here often, so maybe you could help me out. Have I been here before?'"
"You're kidding!" Mariah giggled.
"Oh, no, those were his exact words. And, for a second, I thought he was serious. Then I looked at his eyes, and it was all he could do to keep from laughing."
"And what did you say?"
"I barely kept from laughing myself, but I said, very seriously, 'Why yes, sir, you have been here before, and you used that same line. It didn't work last time, and it won't work today, either.' Then he did laugh, and we talked for a little bit, but I didn't go out with him."
"He must have worn you down, though."
"Oh, yes, eventually he learned some better pickup lines, and I finally said yes - more out of pity than anything else." Jennifer trailed off, glancing away, and her smile quickly faded. After a moment, she cleared her throat and turned back to Mariah. "I thought you were telling me about you and Marc. How did we get back to me?"
Mariah nodded, sensing telepathically that the memory of those days from long ago had struck a nerve with Jennifer. "Right. Where did I leave off?"
"You hated Marc, and you wanted to punch him."
Mariah nodded again, smiling. "Marc and I eventually became friends, and I realized that he didn't always behave as if he was the gods' gift to all females, human or otherwise. Once I got to know him pretty well, I realized that he was a decent guy. And he was a damn good first officer. He told me all about his father, and his grandfather, and his great-grandfather, and how he was the fourth generation of Gabriel men to enlist in the navy. I always felt that that heritage weighed on him more than he cared to admit, but I never said anything about it."
Mariah paused, glancing out the viewport. Jennifer waited, sensing a change in the story's tone.
"Marc and I served together for almost three years on the Tokyo. A couple years after we met, just a few weeks' before Paul's death, the Tokyo's crew had been granted shore leave on Kelatia. We had three days, and some of the crew decided to stay at the resort hotels on the planets' surface rather than transport back to the ship every night. Paul thought it would be a good idea for us as a family to stay at a resort for all three days, and, of course, Marc and his girlfriend at the time also got a room right across the hall from us.
"For the first day everything was great. Kelatia is actually one of the nicer, more pleasant worlds that I've been to, climate-wise, and I didn't mind staying at the hotel with some of the other moms and their kids while Paul and Marc went off bar hopping. The second night we found a babysitter for Josh, and Paul and I went on a date. But then the next morning he got called back to the ship on an engineering emergency, so I hung out with Marc for most of the day.
"That night, though, Paul was still occupied on the ship, and I put Josh to bed early, and I heard some yelling out in the hall. Turns out that Marc was in the process of getting dumped by Lieutenant Hargrove because she caught him flirting with one of the waitresses at the bar in the hotel lobby. It was true, of course, and he didn't deny it. After she stormed off, Marc turned around and caught me peeking from around my door that I'd opened just a crack so I could get a good view of the breakup.
"Any other guy would have probably been mortified, but Marc just shrugged and asked what I was up to. I invited him in, and we ordered a few drinks from the dispenser. We started talking, and he proceeded to tell me all about his history with the opposite sex, starting with his first junior high girlfriend. I'd put in my commentary every now and then, and we kept ordering drinks from the dispenser, and before I knew it, it was almost midnight."
Jennifer nodded, smiling. "I can see where this headed."
"Yes, we did end up sleeping together. Sometimes I wonder if the night would have ended differently had Paul and I not splurged on the family suite. If Josh had been asleep on the next bed instead of in the next room, I might not have allowed Marc to kiss me. But Josh was in the other room, and I was just drunk enough to let him kiss me that first time. And then I kissed him back, and I think we had a short conversation about how wrong this was, and the next thing I know I'm on top of him, trying to get his shirt unzipped, and he's already unhooked my bra. We did it that first time with half our clothes still on."
"'The first time?' How many times did you two do it?"
"Three, I think," Mariah replied, sheepish.
"Oh my gods!"
"Yeah, that's what I thought too at four in the morning, after the third time. I think that's when I went to throw up. Whether it was because of the alcohol or the affair, I'm not sure. Marc gathered his clothes and stumbled back to his room, and when we got back to the ship, we silently agreed we would never speak about that night. Paul was none the wiser, and he and Marc remained close friends until the battle with the Kauramide dreadnought a month later where Paul was killed.
"But before that happened, I found out I was pregnant, and I didn't need a genetic screening to know who the father was. It was just a couple of weeks, I think, after that night on Kelatia, and I didn't waste any time requesting a prescription of Janemar from Doctor Headman."
Jennifer nodded solemnly. "Did you tell Marc?"
"No. I had thought about telling him, and I almost did, but there never seemed to be a good opportunity, and then Paul died, and my whole world just...collapsed. I only had three days to grieve, and then the Tokyo was assigned to the sixteenth fleet, and it seemed like the next several months were one long, endless string of battles with the Chrisarii. And then the war was over, and I transferred off the Tokyo, and the next time I saw Marc was five months ago at the Freedom-Nine station. When that door in the crossway tunnel opened, and he was the one on the other side, I remember thinking, 'Fuck, no! Not him!'." She laughed and shook her head. "All I could think about was that night on Kelatia, and then after we arrived here, and he showed up at my quarters that first night, drunk, I hated him all over again. He was still that same arrogant, swaggering officer who allowed himself to be led by his cock. And then I realized it wasn't hate that I felt, it was pity. And that's what I've felt about him ever since."
"But not now?"
Mariah shook her head. "I can't explain it, but after he told me about his past with Laura, and after I've spent the last few weeks watching him and his reaction to her and to the daughter he never knew he had, I realized how much of his behavior all those years ago on the Tokyo made sense. He never allowed himself to get close to anyone because he'd been hurt so badly by Laura twenty-three years ago. His whole masculine swagger was just an act."
"And now you can't stop thinking about him."
"Exactly."
"But is that the same as being attracted to him? This could just be an infatuation."
"I don't think so. He, Paul, and I became pretty close during those two years, and there's that night that Marc and I slept together. I can't explain why, but that night was different for him. I wasn't just another conquest. I think he'd always been attracted to me, but I was married and off limits to him."
"But there's a difference between physical attraction and being in love
with someone. It sounds to me like that night was all about him finally getting what he'd never been allowed to have."
Mariah shook her head. "I don't think so. I let him kiss me, remember? There was two of us in that bed. I didn't push him away."
"So you're saying you were attracted to him too?"
"I don't know," Mariah sighed. "That's what's been driving me crazy ever since."
"Well, it sounds to me like Marc is an asshole. He may be a good at his job, but anybody that sleeps with their best friend's wife is an asshole."
"What does that make me?" Mariah asked, bristling.
"Well, the way I see it, I think he took advantage of you. You were still a junior officer, right?"
"Yeah. I was still an ensign."
Jennifer nodded. "Honestly, if I'd have been in your position, and my first officer came on to me, I'd feel more than a little intimidated, and I'd be afraid to refuse him. I know you said that you two were friends, and he and Paul were good friends as well, but are you saying you never once thought about saying no to him that night?"
Mariah frowned, shaking her head. "I see what you're getting at, but that wasn't the case with us. We both knew what we were doing that night, and if I had said no, Marc would have respected that. Yes, he was an asshole, but not that kind of asshole."
"So why didn't you say no? I'm not judging, I'm just asking. Most people that I know wait until they've been married ten years before they think about having an affair."
"Yeah, that's true. And like I said, I honestly don't know. Maybe it was just for the thrill of it. Maybe it was the alcohol. And yeah, maybe I was attracted to Marc after all, but I do remember feeling a little ashamed after we, you know, the first time."
"But you didn't say anything to him?"
Mariah shook her head. "I know it sounds crazy, but I didn't want to ruin the moment."
Jennifer chuckled. "So that must have been when you did it a second time."
Mariah gave a rueful smile. "Yeah. And then we must have passed out or fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew he was coming back from the bathroom, and I honestly can't remember what I mumbled, but all I knew was that I wanted him one more time, and then..." Her voice trailed off as she looked away, remembering, and she gasped.
"What?"
"Nothing." Mariah jumped to her feet. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. I need to talk to Marc. I'll fill you in later." She started away, but then turned back. "Thank you, by the way, for lunch and...everything."
Jennifer nodded. "No problem."
( 5 )
Marc was staring at his HT screen with the sound muted. He'd been flipping between the news channel and a documentary about the wild cats of the Ikthar jungle on Nyvos-Four. But after an hour he'd shut off the sound and switched back to the news channel. The final debate between President Enkaro and his opponent had aired last night, and the polls would be open for voting in three days. They would remain open for a standard week, and it would then take another standard week for the final results to be collected from all fifty-six member worlds, tallied, cross checked, and then announced.
What the news feed was currently showing was highlights from the final debate, and if the political experts were to be believed, Enkaro had a major lead over his opponent. Footage from the president's campaign trail was being shown, and one of the scenes included was Enkaro's speech on Exxar-One's quarterdeck six months earlier. Gabriel winced when he saw himself shaking hands with the president, and he changed the channel back to the nature documentary.
The door chime warbled just then, and the commodore glanced away from the HT. "Come in." He was surprised to see Laura on the other side, and he shut off the HT.
"Hi," she said nervously as she stepped inside. "I know that we said goodbye this morning, but I realized that there was a couple of things we didn't really make clear about our...arrangement."
Marc stood and closed the distance between them. "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing."
"You know, this is crazy. Why don't we just start now? Why wait three years? I'll be working on K'Ssala for the next several months, and I can come back to Exxar-One every weekend if I wanted to."
"And after that? It'll be at least another year and a half before I can retire, and Mars will be more than just a five minute trip through the hypergate."
"I know. But we could arrange our schedules so you could visit on your leave time, and a year and a half isn't that long."
He smiled, and they kissed.
The door chime warbled again.
Marc looked up long enough to say, "Come in," and then resumed kissing his girlfriend.
Mariah stepped inside and then stopped short. "Oh! I'm sorry, I...didn't realize I was interrupting. I can come back later." She turned to leave, but thought better of it and turned back. "No, I'd rather say this now."
"Okay," Marc said, separating himself from Laura and giving his science officer a wary look.
"I should probably be going," Laura said. "My team will be back from lunch in a few minutes, and we still have a lot to go over before our departure tomorrow."
"No, that's okay," Mariah said. "This won't take long, and some of it concerns you." She stopped, glancing between Marc and Laura, and then added, "Wait a minute. You two were kissing. Are you..."
"As a matter of fact, yes," Marc replied, reaching for Laura's hand. "We're back together. Once I finish my current contract, I'll retire to Mars. Until then, Laura and I are going to resume our relationship and maintain it long distance."
"Oh, congratulations! That actually makes this a lot easier."
Marc was wary again. "Makes what a lot easier?"
"You remember that night on Kelatia? Almost twelve years ago now?"
"Yes," he said dryly. "How could I forget?"
Mariah noticed Laura's puzzled expression, and she explained, "Marc and I slept together."
"Oh really?" Laura glanced at Marc. "I thought you said she was married when the two of you served together on the Tokyo."
"I was," Mariah interrupted. "To Paul. He was the Tokyo's chief engineer." She looked at Marc. "The reason I came to see you was because I remembered something from that night, and it suddenly all makes sense."
"Wait, you had an affair with her?" Laura interjected. "It's okay. I'm not judging. I'm just...surprised, that's all."
"Mariah, maybe you and I should talk alone," Marc said.
Laura suddenly turned to Mariah, understanding. "Is this what we talked about yesterday at lunch?"
"What?" Marc exclaimed. "You two had lunch?? Together?"
"We did," Mariah said quickly. "But it wasn't planned. And no, Laura, I'm not here to tell him that. Well, actually, that is what I'm here to talk about, but it's not what you think."
"Why don't we all have a seat," Marc said, motioning to the couch. "Mariah, you go first. Say whatever it is that you came to say, and then, Laura, you and I can talk for a little bit after she's gone."
The women nodded.
"That night, after we...you know, and right before you left to go back to your room, you whispered a name. But it wasn't my name, and I think you were so drunk at the time that you didn't remember saying it."
"What was it?"
"It was Laura. You whispered it right at the end, right after we...you know."
Marc blushed, and Laura looked surprised. The two of them glanced at one another, and no one was sure what to say next.
"Look," Mariah finally said, breaking the uncomfortable silence, "I don't want this to be a big deal...it's just that it all makes sense now. You've always been in love with her, but you told me six months ago when we first arrived on Exxar-One that you loved me – while you were still dating Lieutenant Benson, I might add. And I just wanted to come here today to clear the air between us...and to tell you I think you're an asshole."
"What?" Laura blurted.
"Excuse me?" Marc replied, stunned.
"You know, I think I should really be going," Laura said, rising. "You two
obviously have a lot to talk about."
"No, sit," Marc demanded, and then turned to Mariah. "What the hell is the matter with you??"
"With me?? Do you know what I felt after you said her name? I've never been so humiliated in my life! I had no idea who she was, but I figured she must have been one of the hundreds of other junior officers that you'd slept with on the Tokyo. Except that when I searched the ship’s database for an officer with that first name, none came up. And now, eleven years later, it suddenly makes sense when she appears." Mariah pointed at Laura.
"And you just now remembered me saying her name?"
"Yes. I was telling all of this to Jennifer –"
"Jennifer?? You mean Doctor Rosenberg's wife?"
"Yes. She and I became good friends last week, and we were having lunch today, and she said I seemed a little preoccupied, and I was." Mariah stood and started pacing as she talked. "I just kept thinking about what Laura and I had talked about yesterday, and then about all these feelings I've been having for you ever since you and I have been serving together again for the past few months. I thought at first I was attracted to you, but I was wrong. And I realize now that what happened that night on Kelatia was never resolved between us."
"I thought we pretty much resolved it when we had that fight after Paul's memorial service."
"No, that was just me venting my grief and my guilt. You didn't say much of anything."
"So you never told her about us?" Laura interrupted.
"No," Marc said, still looking at Mariah. "Not until you showed up here a few weeks ago."
"And at the time I remember thinking that Laura's name sounded vaguely familiar," Mariah continued, "but I didn't know why." She stopped, turning to Marc. "Until now."
