I stare at Amelia at a loss for words.
“What was that about?” she asks.
“No idea. You should introduce her to Flotsam and Jetsam, they’d make a beautiful trio.”
“She did have a point, though.”
“What point?”
“Any girl would be happy, ecstatic, her boyfriend proposed.”
“Even after only six months?”
“Yes. What’s holding you back?”
I bite my lower lip.
Amelia throws me a warning stare. “If you’re about to bring Jake into this, I’m going to scream and get out of here.”
“Says the one who was getting married out of inertia instead of love.”
Hurt appears on Amelia’s face. That was a low blow.
“I’m sorry.” I backtrack immediately. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
She nods her understanding.
“But I have a serious problem here,” I add. “I thought you would’ve understood, seeing as how you almost married the wrong guy.”
“William was the wrong man for me because we weren’t in love with each other anymore, not because I was chasing after a ghost of my past. I thought you had closed that door.”
“I have.”
“Have you? Honey, Jake’s gone. He’s married to someone else.”
“Do you have to keep rubbing it in my face?”
“Apparently yes, as you seem inclined to overlook the fact.”
“What fact?”
“That Jake is married. You think marrying Richard would put an end to any remote possibility you might have of getting back with Jake one day. But let me tell you, that train has departed.”
“That’s not… it’s not like that. I have many other reasons to question this decision.”
“What reasons?”
“That it’s too soon. That Richard and I don’t know each other enough. That my relationship with Richard works so well because it’s on a day-to-day basis. I could go on if you like…”
“Are things going well on a day-to-day basis?”
“Yes.”
“So what are you afraid would change?”
“Nothing… everything. It doesn’t sit well with me that the thought of marrying Richard never crossed my mind until he was down on one knee, proposing.”
“If that’s what you think, why did you say yes?”
“I told you. He caught me off-guard, I didn’t know what to do. I care about Richard and he was there on one knee, offering me all his heart. I said yes, it’s what you do when your boyfriend proposes. But now it’s giving me anxiety.”
“Why don’t you talk to Richard about it?”
“And say what? ‘Sorry, remember the other night when I said I wanted to marry you? Well… I didn’t exactly mean it one hundred percent.’ I can’t talk to him about it.”
“Then you have to decide on your own. But promise me Jake won’t feature in it.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you have to decide if you want to marry Richard. I’m saying you should marry him if you love him and want to spend your life with him. And I’m saying the one thing you shouldn’t do is not marry Richard because of Jake.”
I scowl. “It’s not that simple.”
“Actually, honey, it is.”
Nineteen
A Shared Moment
♥♥♥
Saturday, March 3—London
I enter Starbucks sporting a smile so radiant people ought to wear shades.
“I’m engaged,” I squeak the moment I reach Amelia. She’s sitting at a round table and already has two lattes in front of her.
She gets up with a smile almost as radiant as mine, hugs me for a long time, and settles back down at the table. I join her.
“And you don’t seem surprised,” I chide her.
“I confess Jake might’ve asked for some help with the setting up.” Amelia smiles mischievously.
“You snitch! You broke the code. You told him about the Jakebox. But I forgive you because it made for the most perfect night of my life.”
“Let me see the ring.”
I proudly extend my left arm, and the little diamonds on the ring catch the light, sending rainbow sparkles in all directions.
“This is gorgeous.”
“It’s perfect. Did you help him with this too?”
Amelia shakes her head. “No, he chose it all on his own.” She looks at me expectantly. “Tell me everything; I want to know every little detail.”
I do tell her everything—well, minus the X-rated parts—and we giggle all along.
“Will you be my maid of honor?” I ask when I’m finished with my report on Jake’s proposal.
“Of course I will. Have you already set a date?”
“No, not yet. It’s still so new. But sometime within the next year or so. I don’t want to do anything big; I’m not a huge fan of big ceremonies.”
“Yeah, they’re overrated.” A bittersweet smile surfaces on her lips. Even if she’s moved on, I can see divorcing has left scars on her.
“Definitely overrated,” I say supportively. “I want something simple. Just close friends and family.”
“U.S. or U.K.?”
“I’ve no idea! What do you think?”
“You should do it at home. It’s where it all started.”
“I like the idea… Jake’s parents’ cabin at the lake would be perfect for a summer wedding. We could set a flowery gazebo just in front of the lake and lay the beach with white chairs…”
“I thought you didn’t like wedding planning.”
“Well, I don’t like planning in general. But the thought of becoming Jake’s wife… I want our wedding day to be perfect.”
“Whatever you decide, I’m sure it will be.”
“But enough about me, what about you and Dylan?”
Her expression becomes bittersweet again. “What about us?”
“Well, how’s the living together going?”
“Great, but it’s still so new his dirty socks on the bathroom floor haven’t started to annoy me yet.”
“What is it that males have against laundry baskets?”
“I’m not sure, but they’re probably all convinced house elves take care of their discarded underwear.”
“Yeah, I bet they do. Dirty socks excluded, how’s it going?”
“It’s perfect, and I’m even exaggerating on the socks. He’s not all that bad. Who am I kidding? Dylan’s great. Gem, I’m so happy it scares me. I’m afraid everything will be taken from me when I least expect it.”
“I know the feeling. At least you don’t have bad karma on your side.”
“Meaning?”
“I stole Jake from Sharon, so in theory, bad things should happen to me and good things to her. Whereas in your case, the bad karma should go all to William and the good things all to you. So, really, you’re good.”
“That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.”
I giggle. “Maybe, but I hope your half is true. Do you and Dylan ever talk, uh, marriage?”
“You want to send me running for the hills?”
“Why? Is the idea of marrying Dylan so bad?”
“Gem, I’m not sure I want to get married again; I’m not even divorced yet. And before you say anything,” she raises a silencing finger at me, “it’s not about Dylan. I don’t want to do the whole wedding thing again, like ever.”
“Is it just the wedding you have a problem with, or is it marriage per se?”
She shrugs. “As I said—this may sound stupid—but I feel last time, getting married ruined everything with William.”
“But it wasn’t because you got engaged that everything crumbled between you two. You weren’t right for each other.”
“Mmm, I’ve been racking my brain, trying to decide when it all started to go wrong. I told you the year before the wedding is a b
it of a fuzz. But before that, I’ve tried to remember when it was that I started loving him less and less and when he drifted away from me… but I can’t pinpoint a moment.”
“There wouldn’t be a specific moment to choose from. Not when it happened so slowly.”
“But was it a coincidence that Will began his affair around the time he proposed?”
“No, but it didn’t start because he proposed.”
“Why then?”
“Okay, I’m not an oracle here, so I don’t presume to have a universal knowledge of why Will did what he did. But when he proposed, you guys were probably already having problems…”
“But that’s the thing,” Amelia interrupts me. “From what I remember, we were doing just fine.”
“On the surface maybe, but deep down you probably both sensed something was amiss but ignored the thought because it was a scary one. You guys had been together for so long, neither of you could face the idea of leaving the other. So maybe—mmm, subconsciously—getting engaged was a way for you to throw your hearts over the fence. You were drifting apart, and instead of letting go, you found a way to cling to each other even more.”
“So your theory is we got engaged out of fear? I remember being happy when Will proposed; I remember him being happy.”
“As I said, I don’t assume I have all the right answers, but think about it—were you happy-happy or more… mmm… relieved-happy?”
Amelia blinks at me. “Oh. I see what you’re saying. When Will proposed, I felt suddenly lighthearted and took it for happiness. But according to you, I was just relieved I didn’t have to break up with Will, or even begin to think about breaking up with him, because if he was proposing, surely he was the right man for me. And he probably got the same reassurance when I said, ‘Yes.’ So if this is what happened why start an affair a minute later?”
“Ah, this is guesswork again. Maybe it just happened. Maybe he felt reassured on one side but he started to feel trapped on the other. There’s no way to know when he realized he wasn’t in love with you, or why he didn’t call off the wedding.”
“Because he’s a coward.” Only bitterness shows in Amelia’s voice now. “He didn’t even have the guts to tell me; he accidentally on purpose left his computer open for me to discover everything and throw him out of the house.”
“Yes, he was weak and a coward. He behaved as badly as one could. But Dylan, he’s ten times the man William will ever be. And things didn’t go wrong because of the engagement or the wedding, they just did. You shouldn’t be afraid of being happy; you deserve to be happy more than anyone else does. If you want to marry Dylan, do it.”
“It’s not like he proposed, we just moved in together.”
“Okay, but he might propose one day. And I don’t want you to exclude the possibility because of what happened with your ex-husband.”
“A marriage that lasted the whole of three weeks, can I even call him an ex-husband?”
“We can call him dung beetle if you prefer.”
Amelia cracks her first smile since the wedding talk started. “He is a bit of a dung beetle. And you’re right, I shouldn’t be scared. I love Dylan, and this time I’m sure it’s love with a capital L.”
“Giant capital L,” I agree.
“If he ever does ask me to be his wife, I’ll keep an open mind. Thank you.” She hugs me.
“For what?”
“I needed to talk about William and the divorce. And you waited long enough to tell me everything you said today for me to be ready to hear it. You’re my best friend in the world; I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’ll never have to find out. Come here.” I pull her into another hug, feeling a bit teary.
“Are you crying?” Amelia asks with her chin resting on my shoulder.
“A little bit.”
“Me too,” she sniffs.
We giggle and cry at the same time. Two friends sharing a moment.
Twenty
Significant Ex
♦♦♦
Monday, March 5—London
At the office, I close a document folder, satisfied. My first meeting of the week went well. The negotiation was smooth. Both parties got what they really wanted to begin with. No one relented too much or lost face. As everybody else leaves the room, a lawyer from the other team lingers behind. She’s being extra slow in collecting her files from the glass table and she’s looking at me with a keen expression I can’t interpret.
“Can I help you with something?” I ask.
“I thought you were going to go a lot harder on us. I admire you for not doing it.”
Why was she expecting me to hammer her team? Do I have the reputation of a shark?
“We cut a fair deal that made everyone happy, wasn’t that the goal?”
“Yes, of course. But sometimes people tend to get personal…”
This conversation isn’t making any sense.
“Would there have been a reason for me to get personal with your client?”
“My client, no. Me, on the other hand…”
I stare at her blankly.
“You seriously have no idea who I am.”
Why is she giving me a ‘you don’t know who I am’ speech? Who is she? I keep staring at her, dumbfounded.
“So you haven’t googled me, not even a peek on Facebook. I’m impressed; I certainly didn’t have that willpower.”
This woman’s giving me the creeps. “I’m sorry, but I don’t usually google, or stalk on Facebook for that matter, counselors opposing me. If you don’t mind, I have another meeting to go to. Have a safe trip back to California.”
I turn to leave. I’m almost at the door when she speaks again.
“I’m Jake’s wife.”
I freeze. My heart starts racing in my chest, pounding blood to my temples. I give myself a couple of seconds to allow my face to go back to presentable as opposed to I’m-about-to-have-a-stroke, and I turn to face my nemesis. Involuntarily my gaze flies over her left hand. There, a delicate rose-gold band is resting on her ring finger. How can such a simple piece of metal cause so much pain? How did I walk into this ambush without knowing anything? I know why! It’s all Amelia’s fault: she’s the one who made me promise never to look this woman up and let me walk into this trap. Unprepared. Unarmed. Strong willpower, my foot. I would’ve looked you up the second I had a chance, lady, if it weren’t for my I-butt-in-all-situations best friend.
“You really had no idea,” she states.
I shake my head, no. What does she want?
“And to think that I was so nervous about meeting you, I went to a salon to have my hair done. I thought you did the same…”
I furrow my brow questioningly.
“But you didn’t. Of course, you’d look like that on a regular day.”
I look down at myself and it’s nothing that great. I have my lawyer uniform on—black pencil skirt and white blouse. I stare in horror at the chipped nail polish on one of my fingers, and I ask myself why I chose not to blow-dry my hair this morning. So, I’m sure I’m not that impressive.
I focus on my rival. She’s a good-looking woman, with fabulous blonde hair and perfect grooming. Then again, she had the advantage of knowing she’d be standing for this revenge-on-the-ex high noon moment today and went out of her way to look her best. So really, it isn’t fair.
“So is there something you wanted to say to me?” I try to smile, but I’m sure I accomplish a grimace at best.
“No, not really. I was just morbidly curious to meet you. I’ve heard so many stories about you.”
Jake talks to her about me? I’m afraid the having-a-stroke face is making a comeback. I swallow a bitter pill as my brain runs free with the knowledge of all the embarrassing things Jake knows about me. How many has he told her? When? Were they discussing it in bed after a passionate night of lovemaking? Am I a running joke between them? Oh gosh, I can feel my teeth grindin
g.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t say I’ve heard anything about you. So we’re not going to be able to swap anecdotes, are we?” I wish my voice wasn’t shaking so much. My fake smile has definitely collapsed into grimace territory right now.
“Well, Jake still talks about you a lot…”
“I haven’t spoken to Jake in years.”
“Well, you’re still his significant ex. And I’m sure he’s yours…”
If only you knew how much.
“Well, you’re his wife. He married you, and I’m engaged.” I show her my rock, feeling glad I’m wearing it for the first time since Richard proposed. The thought I nearly had to face Jake’s wife unmarried and unengaged is horrific.
“Oh, that’s wonderful. When are you getting married?”
“In a year, two perhaps. Anyway, it all worked out for the best in the end.” At least for you, I add internally.
“Yes. Yes, of course, it did,” she says unenthusiastically. She looks at me in a weird way, sad almost. What has she to be sad about? She’s married to the love of our lives; she doesn’t get to be sad. “I’m sorry if I caught you off-guard. I just wanted to meet you.”
“Well, it was very nice meeting you,” I lie with a straight face. Lawyer skills and all. “Now if you don’t mind I really have to get to that meeting.”
“Yeah, sure. Sorry again. I’ve already stolen too much of your time. Goodbye.”
That’s not the only thing you stole from me. “Bye.”
I walk out of the room steadily enough until I’m sure I’m out of sight, then like a drunk person, I brace myself on the walls of the hallway for support. I pinball from left to right until I reach my office, close the door and lock myself in, lowering all the blinds. Finally, I collapse on the couch usually reserved for making clients comfortable—or avoiding them fainting when I give them my invoice, I’m not sure—and cry my heart out.
The pain of losing Jake comes back to me in waves of shock and fear. I’m sobbing so hard I’m hyperventilating. Amelia was right: seeing her face has only made things worse. He did marry lawyer Barbie. Knowing this is the woman Jake goes back to every night, the one he makes love to, the one he has pillow talks with—and about me too, apparently—racks my body with an amount of sorrow I didn’t know I had in me. After missing Jake’s wedding, I thought I had it bad. But things moved on so quickly with Richard I never really contemplated how Jake was building a family with someone else. I’m nothing more than a distant memory, I’ve been reduced to the ex he tells amusing stories about.
Love Connection (A Feel Good Romantic Comedy) Page 13
