“Sure,” she said as she smiled to her coffee cup.
He finished and watched her push hers to the center of the table. “Take mine.”
After studying her, he posed the question he’d been dreading. “What was it you wanted to talk to me about, anyway? We’re here. Relatively alone except for the freak show behind me.”
She liked that and smiled.
“What was so important?”
Her answer was quick. “I miss you.”
“You miss me?” His blood pressure began to rise. “Miss all the misery I caused you?”
“I caused some of it, too. I pushed too hard.”
“No. You had to lay down the ground rules. We had two kids. I was a terrible husband. I drank, I stayed out all the time with the guys,” He stopped and pointed to the ceiling, “But I never cheated on you. Not once.”
“I think I can believe that now. Doesn’t mean you didn’t go away, though.”
“Yes. I did leave. I just couldn’t stop.”
“I wasn’t enough for you to want to stop.”
“No, Ginger. That’s not fair to you. You were all I ever needed. I just was afraid I was going to let you down. All the things I was seeing over there, the killing, the crazy-assed stuff that part of the world does to their women and children. Good people getting killed, and bad people laughing about it. I went a little insane. I didn’t want to bring it home, but I did anyway.”
She had left her hands on the table and now reached for her coffee. Shaking, she took a sip and set it back down.
“It was never you. It was all me.”
“I still love you, Jake. It’s not that I just miss you. I still love you. I think perhaps I always will.”
He so didn’t deserve her and yet part of him, the selfish part, wanted to take her in his arms and rock her world like he knew he could. But it was unfair. It was taking something and not giving her anything in return. She was too good for that.
Perhaps the old Jake wouldn’t care, but the person he was today, who had walked into that meeting and faced the old drunks that didn’t stop when they were young, that Jake didn’t want to pile on the garbage of broken promises he’d made to her over and over again, and then repeated to the other women in his life. And then would say some day to his children. Some day they’d be old enough to hate who he’d been. The mess he’d made of his life.
“I don’t know how to bridge this cavern between us, Jake. I can’t predict if we ever will. But I’d like to try. I’d like to show you who I really am and what I’m really about.”
“The right thing for me to say is no.”
He saw that sparkle in her beautiful green eyes. “So am I seeing this properly then?” She leaned into the table so he could see her cleavage, so her face was nearly close enough he could lean forward and kiss her. “I’m giving you the come-on, telling you I’m hot for you, Jake, that I want you more than I’ve ever wanted you before, and you’re going to say no? Is that right?”
She knew she could wait and he’d come around to the idea. It was her way to get him right where she wanted him. She always could do that, when she had the energy. And boy, she had some energy tonight. Her unmistakable desire for him, his absolute soft spot, where he had no defense.
Dammit. She was right.
But this time, he didn’t hate her for it. This time, he wanted to believe that she still belonged to him.
She’d always been the stronger one. He desired to give her some of that back, show her he was a different man. He didn’t mind drinking from the well of her soul, but he needed to replenish what he was taking. Maybe it was the elixir that would heal him.
Chapter 6
Walking next to Jake again had her feeling twenty, the way she felt the first time she’d kissed him. He was the experienced Navy SEAL, crusty, irreverent, the one all the girls watched and wanted. Her little circle of friends, including Karen, had told her he liked fast women, faster cars, and all the things that were dangerous.
But she saw something else. He was a grown man, but he was a lost boy trying to behave like a man. He’d taken on the impossible task of doing things no one else would do, to show the world he didn’t mind. That he could handle it.
It was Jake’s belief in the world, in the little things of the world that needed protection, that made him the man he was. Not the bravado or joking jackass he could be in front of his friends. He danced with abandon, he drank with abandon. She never thought he noticed her. But she’d been watching him, and something inside her was snagged and caught.
That night when he finally fixated on her, she’d blushed and turned away a dozen times. He loved the chase. She was the one he couldn’t charm the pants off of. She said no when he tried to grab her in the hallway.
“You’re such a pretty little thing. How come you never say anything? What goes on in that head of yours?”
“Not much.”
“Liar. I’ll bet your libido is as strong as the color of your hair.”
He was right, but she didn’t know it.
“That’s not what I’m looking for.”
He tented his eyebrows. That’s when she knew she had him. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.
They’d meet at parties when she’d arrive with her friends. Then the boys would suddenly be gone on a mission. She always held her breath to hear he came back whole and without injury. They’d lost a couple one deployment. They had some who had to retire from injuries. Some of them went through divorces from hell. But Jake was always the same. Never changed. The tough demeanor that she suspected she could get up under to experience the man underneath.
It had happened at the beach around a bonfire for their good-bye ritual. It was special that she’d been invited. He’d sat behind her, and over the next twenty minutes he’d crept closer and closer to her until his thighs had lined hers. She felt his breath at her back, his heartbeat. She felt him swallow. Heard his laugh. She was nervous that this strong warrior of a man was coming to claim her.
She felt his fingers walk up her spine, and then slip her hair to the side. He had whispered, “You’re so beautiful. And I like the way you smell.”
Her girlfriends grinned from the other side of the bonfire. One by one people left, but Jake remained with her until they were the last ones on the beach. He didn’t even say good-bye to the friends he’d be flying out with the next day. It was understood. Jake had found someone. There was no hiding it, denying it. No running away from it. She belonged to him, and she’d never loved a man before, never taken her clothes off in front of anyone before.
She wished tonight she could give something so precious to him again. She wished they could do a re-set and take back all the tears that had been shed. Bring the girls into the world with him at her side, one by one. To see that fresh quirky face of his above the hospital gown, holding their little red daughter with the bright red curls, despite the fact that Jake had brown hair. The girls had her coloring.
“Carrot tops,” he’d said. He was so proud as he held their second girl. “I should have known. Thank God, they take after you, honey.”
Those were wonderful memories they had. And they’d chosen to push them aside, turn their back on them. Maybe it could be repaired. Just maybe.
His hands were the same. He cleared his throat in the elevator as they stood side by side amongst drunk partygoers. Women with greasy faces and streaked mascara. Bachelors hoping to misbehave. Everyone was headed to the Wedding floor, where every single room would be filled with couples doing God knew what.
His arm was protective. She fit well with him as they walked down the hallway, in the opposite direction of the rowdy groups. He took a key card out from his pocket and opened the door a crack. But he blocked it, held her head in his hands and kissed her like it was the very first time.
The familiar scent of his chest, the way he groaned when her tongue followed his, the way his fingers grabbed her hair as if telling her the thrill ride was almost too much for him as we
ll.
He brought her to his chest, his hands protecting her head and pressing her against his beating heart. “God, Ginger. I’ve been a fool. How could I have ever—”
The waver in his voice made her heart sing. When she checked his face she did see tears there. “You have no idea how many nights I’ve wanted to feel this, Jake. You have no idea.”
She was crying, too.
“Look at us. Divorced. Parents of two kids. We walked away from all this, Ginger.”
She placed her fingers against his lips. “Shh, Jake.”
He was mumbling.
“Jake, can we go inside the room?”
“I just want you to understand something first—”
“I know. I know it all, Jake. Let’s go inside. I get what you’re trying to say and I agree.”
“What a complete ass I’ve been—”
“Jake.” She found the whole thing funny. “Don’t tell me. Show me. Please, show me.”
He shook his head, laughing. “Come to my room, little girl.”
She followed him as he walked backwards into the dark space with the glow from the Strip splashing color all over the walls, sound bouncing everywhere. When Gerud had described it as gypsy chic, he’d been right. There were more red hearts than a stationery store at Valentine’s Day.
The door clicked closed behind her. The finality of her being alone with him again sent a shiver up her spine. Then when he touched her, she nearly fainted. He pulled her hair from her neck and kissed her there. He whispered into her ear, “I’m so sorry, Ginger. Truly I am, honey. Let me make it up to you. For everything I’ve done.”
She turned. “No, Jake. Not from that place. From this place,” she said as she put her palm over his heart. “Bring me what’s here, what’s always been here, like you told me at the coffee shop. Bring me what you have, all that you have. That’s what I bring you. Everything I can give. If you’ll have me.”
“God, Ginger.” He fell to his knees and she held his face to her belly. His fingers lifted up the hem of her dress as he kissed her belly button through the fabric. He clutched the material all the way to her waist, one hand smoothing over her rear, fingers slipping into the back of her panties. His other hand lifted her dress over his head and between her legs he kissed her on the flat of her lower abdomen.
She jumped when he slipped his tongue under the elastic of her lace, layering a wet trail all the way before his fingers gently pressed her thighs apart. His tongue slipped down the slit at her sex, and he was delicate as he sucked her bud and tasted her, following up with a finger. She began to vibrate. The heat of his breath between her legs and the feel of him tasting her set every nerve ending on fire.
She pulled her dress off, watching the top of his head feasting between her legs, moaning as his hot tongue foraged deeper.
He abruptly rose, unbuttoning his shirt while she unsnapped his button fly and felt the velvety goodness of his cock. She squeezed him and heard his guttural moan.
He quickly removed his jeans and shirt while she slid his boxers down to his ankles. She stood in front of him in her panties and bra. He just watched her in the glow of the lights. As laughter and cheering erupted down at the Strip, as the squeal of tires and the sounds of music filled the air she let him take in every part of her, understanding that she belonged to him. His cock bounced in the air. She reached for it and held him firm.
“Are we ready for this?” he whispered.
“You mean after your tongue has been inside me, after you’ve gotten me all worked up and nearly coming from just being close to your naked body, Jake, after all that, you ask me this?” Her heart soared. “I’m just as ready as that night you made me a woman, honey. There has never been anyone else. There never will.”
They fell to the bed together. Ginger remembered what it felt like to be with a man. Like before, when she and Jake made love the first time, the experience for her now was fresh. His power, his strength and his need scared her but brought an explosion of exhilaration. Years of anticipation were enveloped in his kisses as he found all her spots, as he pleasured her to the peak of her consciousness. Jake read her body well, made love to her with his kisses and his tongue, all the while heightening her senses for the final dramatic act of becoming one with him once more.
His massive shoulders loomed above her as his thighs pressed her open to him. His arm dove under her waist, lifting her pelvis up as he pressed against her. Just before he entered her, he held her head in his hands, like they did that very first night, as they did for their married years, and even during the years they fought. His eyes hungrily watched as she experienced the exhilaration of his cock seating deep inside her, claiming her for his own. He was relentless, slow and deliberate so she could fully experience every long delicious stroke.
He suddenly held her arms above her head, and she wrapped her legs around his hips, arching up to meet him deeper still, pounding against her with thrusts pushing her deep into the mattress. And then he held steady, waited, until she felt the delicious ripple of an orgasm coming. She touched their joining while he resumed his strokes, reveling in the hardness of his muscles working to pleasure her. She tasted the sweat dripping from his neck, pressing her breasts against him and hearing his satisfying groan.
The foreplay and kissing would have to come later. Right now they were made one again. All the rough, sharp edges of the years of pain and the difficulties before the separation were being loved out of her. Her bones became rubber, and her body shattered beneath him. And out of the ashes of her old body, she had come alive again.
Chapter 7
Loving Ginger was all about the little things. Her soft skin glowed under the lights of Sin City. Inside and in his bed, in his arms, was the angel of his life. He could get turned on by just the hint of a dimple, whether it was the pair of them atop her perfect ass or the one she had on the left side of her cheek when she smiled with her lips and eyes closed. The way her lip looked like as she bit it, those eyebrows furrowed in ecstasy as she came.
Ginger had always been more than a wife, more than a lover. She was a phenomenon of nature, of softness and power, patience and resistance, light and shadow. The contours of her body were revealed to him, familiar and new at the same time. An enhanced version of the woman he’d first awakened.
Tonight he was accepted by her body in all the ways he could be. He didn’t leave an inch of her unkissed, even the backs of her knees, her ankles, the nape of her neck, and the warm sweaty flesh beneath her breasts that tasted of her arousal.
They’d just finished another long lovemaking session as the early morning sun began to glow pink in the sky and the cars and crowds had dwindled away. The music was gone. But the desert air washed through the gauze fabric of the curtains all night long as they opted for the dry heat instead of air conditioning. It would be hot within an hour. Her back was glistening. Her hands grabbing the headboard rails still, the pillow under her belly raising her rear as he watched himself softly stroke her from behind. Her hair was on fire, her cheeks flushed from his stubble. Her forlorn moan told him she had come again.
“Yes, baby.” He waited for her to finish, kissing her softly up her spine.
“Jake,” she sighed. “I don’t see how I’m going to be able to walk,” she whispered as she moved against him, then giggled into the pillow.
He pulled the covers up from the floor, throwing them over her beautiful peach skin and lay beside her, watching her breathe. Watching the perspiration on her upper lip evaporate in the heat of the early morning.
She flipped to her side to face him, and they kissed.
“Didn’t know I had it in me, Jake. Sort of like the old days, right?” She smiled sweetly, little ridges furrowing her forehead.
“Oh, I knew it was there, sweetheart. Pent up and waiting for me. God, how you make me feel.”
She traced his nipple with her forefinger. “It won’t be always this beautiful, Jake. Sometimes it’ll be hard.”
He
looked down at his groin. “Not yet. Give me an hour or two. At least that long.”
“Liar,” she said and kissed him on the nose. “But I could use the rest.”
He didn’t remember how long before he fell asleep, but he knew she did immediately. Statuesque and perfect, naked or clothed, in her sleeping state she was even more beautiful. Her smell was what he decided he’d missed the most, that musky scent of her arousal, mixed with her favorite orange and flower blossom perfume. Even her hair smelled wonderful.
He drew the backs of his fingers across her cheek as she lay against the pillow next to him. “Welcome home, Ginger. I’ve missed you, too.”
But her sleeping form didn’t respond.
They slept until housekeeping walked in close to noon, and abruptly shut the door again. He ran to the door and turned the privacy lock. Then he closed the window and turned on the air.
She was laying on her back with one arm over her head, the bedcovers down about her waist, watching him.
“Should we order room service?” he asked as he headed for the bathroom.
“Only thing I could eat this morning is pancakes.”
He washed his hands and brushed his teeth. Leaning against the bathroom doorway, he shot her a wink, “Pancakes it is. Butter and maple syrup.”
“Lots of maple syrup.”
He sat on the edge of the bed and ordered room service, then slid under the covers.
She grabbed his hand and fingered the wedding ring.
“Still don’t know what happened,” he murmured.
He thought perhaps she hesitated, as if she were about to speak.
“You want to stay another day, Ginger? I don’t have to be back in San Diego until Tuesday. We could fool around in the shops, go swimming. Did you bring a suit?”
“My things are in the room with Karen. I should call her.”
Ginger rolled away from him and got out of bed. She picked up her dress and lay it over the chair with her other things. She fingered the lingerie, holding the panties up to her.
Band of Bachelors: Jake Book 3 Page 4
