"You're shockingly calm right now."
"Well, I can't guarantee I'll stay this way, of course, but so far I feel just fine. I have a very good feeling about this whole thing."
HALF AN HOUR LATER, all the presents are wrapped and we’re waiting in the Grande Hall with Ollie and Xavier. A parade of police vehicles pulls up in front of the palace, red and blue lights circling, but no sirens.
"Oh, bugger." I sigh, shaking my head.
"Another contraction?" Arthur asks, placing his hand on my back to rub it for me.
"No. I just didn't want such a big fuss about this whole thing. I was hoping we could just slip into the hospital unnoticed, but that's going to be virtually impossible with a lineup of police vehicles."
"I can't believe you're worried about that right now."
"What should I be worried about?"
"How about getting to the hospital?"
Shrugging, I say, "Good point."
Turns out, police escorts are kind of fun. Although we have to drive extremely slowly so we don't go off the road, I have to admit there's a bit of excitement to this. I feel like I’m some criminal mastermind being moved to a maximum security prison (where I will break out in under a day and get back to...criminal stuff).
“Oh good, they’re waiting for us,” Arthur says as we pull up in front of the hospital.
Glancing out the window, I see what looks like the entire staff of the maternity ward waiting at the front doors for us. "Oh, see? This is too much of a fuss. This isn't what I wanted."
"Yes, well we'll just have to put up with it."
We’re greeted by Dr. Patell, who looks rather haggard and tired.
“Your Highness, Your Highness." He nods to each of us.
"Dr. Patell, how lovely to see you." I say, holding my hand out, feeling very much like the regal young woman for a change of pace. Apparently, In Labour Princess Tessa is actually quite calm and fabulous. Who would’ve thought?
"I'm afraid Dr. Dropp isn't going to be able to make it on account of the roads."
"Oh. I'm sure it's fine, we can just send the police for her," Arthur says, then quickly follows that up with, "not that you wouldn't do a fantastic job, I'm sure."
The chief of police, who drove with us, shakes his head. "We’re not going to be able to do that right now, Your Highness. We have to get the rest of the squad cars back to their positions at the various roadblocks. But if someone gets me her address, we may be able to pick her up within the next few hours.”
"It's fine, really," I say, smiling serenely at the police chief, then at Dr. Patell. "We’re in good hands as it is.”
Arthur takes a breath, and I know he's about to protest, so I squeeze his hand and shake my head a little bit. "It's fine, darling."
Dr. Patell smiles at Arthur. "Don't worry, I've been brushing up on my hand-eye coordination, and I’m not drunk."
“Brilliant. Let’s get on with it, shall we?” Arthur says, his face turning a little red.
WELL, IT'S BEEN SIX hours since I had my first contraction, and I have to say, serene, calm In Early Labour Tessa has now been replaced by Extremely Grumpy, Don't Fucking Talk to Me, This Hurts Like a Mother Fucker Tessa. The crappy part is Dr. Patell just checked, and I'm only 5 cm dilated. He's left to go have a nap, leaving instructions with the nurse to wake him should things progress quickly. Although it doesn't sound like that’s likely, because the last thing he said before he walked out was, “See you in a few hours."
At least the nurse who’s been assigned to me is both kind and competent. Her name is Nancy, and she’s kind and yet has a take-charge aura that I find quite comforting. She’ll get us through this.
I am sweaty, tired, and way too hot, even though I'm only wearing this stupid hospital gown. I've already taken four showers, and we've tried everything from me sitting on the exercise ball to Arthur rubbing my back during contractions to that ridiculous breathing to visualizing my happy place, which to be quite honest, is anywhere but here—a rather vague and ineffective happy place, to be honest.
Two hours later, Dr. Patell returns, looking still exhausted, but now his hair is sticking out in the back, proof that he just napped. "How are we doing?"
"We are getting a little sick of this labour business, actually,” I say haughtily.
“Ah, I see.” Dr. Patell nods.
I take a deep breath and try to return to Serene Princess Tessa. “I’m wondering if you've seen The Crown?"
"Nobody does the twilight sleep anymore. It was outlawed over forty years ago all over Europe."
He gestures for me to lay down on the bed for another check. Once I’m settled on it, I stare up at the ceiling, convincing my knees to fall apart from each other. After a few moments, they do what they're told and I wait, expecting to hear that it's almost time, but instead Dr. Patell says, "That's not what I was hoping for."
"What does that mean?" Arthur asks, making a move from where he stands at my side toward the end of the bed, then quickly changing his mind and backing away from the business end of his pregnant wife.
“You’re still at 5 cm. I think we should hook up the monitors to see how everybody's doing inside here." Rolling his stool away, he stands and takes off the plastic gloves, then tosses them in the bin.
Nurse Nancy nods and opens the cupboard, then pulls out a cart of electronic equipment. Arthur helps me sit up so she can wrap two straps over my belly. Once the machines are turned on, it takes another few minutes for her to find the heart rates of each of the babies. Dr. Patell hooks up an oxygen monitor to my finger and a band around my arm.
Then we wait.
Another contraction comes on, and the beeping sound gets louder and more insistent.
"Why is it beeping like that?" Arthur asks.
"Sometimes, when things aren't progressing and the contractions are getting closer together and more intense, it's possible for the babies to experience a little distress."
"Are they?" I ask, propping myself up on my elbows, as if that's going to help anything at all.
"It looks like that wasn't too fun for Baby A."
"What does that mean?" Arthur says.
"It means we watch closely. For now, they’re fine. You see, the baby's blood pressure went back to normal now that the contraction has stopped. No need to worry though because if it continues to go up like that, we’re all set to go in right away."
"Define ‘go in’," Arthur says with a distinct edge in his voice.
“Emergency C-section."
Dr. Patell is paged over the intercom, and he starts for the door. "The mum in room six is ready to push. I’ll leave you in Nurse Smith’s capable hands. Try not to worry."
As soon as he’s gone, Arthur says, “I'm going to see if I can get Dr. Dropp here right away." Arthur shakes his head, looking more worried than I’ve ever seen him, muttering, "I don't like this. I don't like this at all."
"Okay," I say, feeling tears prick my eyes as I watch him hurry out of the room.
I lie back and close my eyes, trying to calm myself down and get my emotions under control.
Nurse Smith pats my arm. "Good idea. See if you can get some rest for a few minutes. And don't worry, love, you're in good hands with Dr. Patell. He knows what he's doing."
“Thank you," I whisper.
THIRTY-FIVE
Adoption—The Much Less Terrifying Option
Arthur
Well, this whole ‘having a baby’ thing is for the birds, if you ask me. I've never felt this panicked in my entire life, and I can tell you it is not a good feeling, especially when there is literally nothing I can do to change the outcome here. All I can do is stand by and watch, helpless and quite frankly clueless as to what to do to control the outcome or provide any comfort to Tessa at all, really.
And what in the fuck does ‘that wasn’t so fun for Baby A’ supposed to mean? I can’t even bring myself to think about the possibilities. I found Ollie, and he’s on the phone right now, trying to reach the chie
f of police whilst I'm hurrying back to Tessa and trying to put my game face on.
The last thing she needs is to know how worried I am, but I'm going to be really honest with you right now, she doesn't look that good—and I don't mean because she's sweaty and swollen and quite frankly has terrible breath at the moment (which she really can't help because they won't let her eat or drink anything). I mean her skin tone has a strange slightly grey quality to it I've never seen before. I catch Dr. Patell just as he's leaving room six on his way back to Tessa.
"Doctor, is Tessa going to be all right?"
"Absolutely. We're going to do everything we can to keep her safe and bring both of these babies into the world bouncing and happy. Except not the bouncing part." He chuckles a little. “I promise to catch them."
"Very reassuring, thank you."
He and I make the rest of the walk to the room together in silence. I feel a desperation come over me to say something, anything at all, that will make him want to go the extra mile for my wife and kids. But for the life of me, I can't think of the right words, which is highly frustrating since finding the right words is usually my thing.
"Dr. Patell..." My voice cracks, and I stop talking.
He turns to me and nods. “I know."
He pushes the door open, and I follow him into the room. "Princess Tessa, the rest of your support team is back," he says confidently.
I smile at Tessa, aiming for reassuring, but when I see how she looks, I'm pretty sure my smile has disappeared.
“I’m not feeling very well," she says, her voice sounding weak.
“Of course you don't, darling girl. You're in labour, and you haven't eaten since yesterday." I walk over and take her hand in mine, lifting my other hand to her face to brush the hair off her cheek.
"That's not what I mean.” Her eyes are dark and scared. She winces, and that damn beeping starts on all of the machines now, this time loud and persistent.
"Tessa? Tessa, I’m right here." I touch her cheek. It feels clammy, but it's not hot like before. "She feels cold. Why is that beeping still going? Tessa? Tessa. Open your eyes, sweetheart."
All at once, the nurse and Dr. Patell both seem to realize something I do not. Suddenly, they kick into high gear, Nurse Smith unhooking the machines whilst Dr. Patell releases the brake on the bed. Nurse Smith hurries to the door and holds it open, yelling down the hall that they need assistance immediately. Dr. Patell starts pushing the bed out of the room himself.
“Move,” he barks at me.
I jump out of the way. "What's going on? Where are you taking her?"
"To the OR. I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait here. There's no time."
I follow them out into the hall and watch as a team of medical professionals seems to come out of nowhere, surrounding the bed as they rush down the hall, taking everything that matters to me away.
Fuck it. I’m following them. I start to run after them, only to be locked out when the doors to the OR wing close behind them. Stopping, I turn, panicked, coming face to face with Xavier.
“Where the fuck is Dr. Dropp?” I say. “Why isn’t she here?”
“She’s on her way,” Xavier says quietly. “Her ETA is T-minus two minutes.”
“For Christ’s sake, just say two minutes if that’s what you mean. Nobody needs the T-minus bit,” I snap. Feeling immediately guilty, I say, “Sorry, Xavier. I just...”
Xavier puts his hand on my shoulder. “She’ll be all right. They all will. They’re in good hands, sir. There’s an entire team of professionals who know what they’re doing. I know it’s scary, but she’ll be okay.”
He seems so sure that I nod, trying to calm down a bit, but then another wave of fear hits. “What if she isn’t? What do I do then?”
THE NEXT TWENTY MINUTES might as well be twenty years because I’m certain I’ve aged that quickly. I stare through the tiny window at the hall, watching for any movement in or out of the OR, but there is nothing.
I see our future before me two ways—one with her, and one without—each day passing in a flash as the children grow up and I grow old. I don’t want to do this without her.
For the first time, I understand what my mother must have felt, knowing she’d spend her life without the man she loved. And I see clearly how awful that must have been. The hopelessness.
A hand grips my shoulder, and I turn to see Ollie beside me. He says nothing, just nods, and I do the same. Wiping at my eyes, I clear my throat. “She’ll be fine,” I say, trying to convince myself.
Moments later, a tiny cart is wheeled out of the room with three nurses surrounding it. My breath catches when I see the worry on their faces. They hurry toward us, bursting through the door and rushing by without me getting more than a glimpse of our baby. A second team follows them, and this time I hear the cry of a newborn, and it’s the best sound I think I’ve ever heard. They hurry by before I can ask anything, and I’m left wondering if this is the very worst moment of my life or the very best.
“Ollie, Xavier. Follow the babies. Don’t let them out of your sight,” I say, grabbing the open door and sneaking into the OR wing.
I stop at the door, staring through the window at the operating theatre, seeing a lot of blood. So much more than I thought. My knees go weak, and I hold the wall next to me to steady myself.
Inside, I see Dr. Patell and Dr. Dropp in masks and gowns, working on my wife. “Please let her be okay,” I pray over and over.
Dr. Dropp makes eye contact with me, and it’s hard to tell, but I think she might be smiling. She gives me a thumbs up—a disgusting, blood-covered thumbs up—but I’m pretty sure it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen.
THIRTY-SIX
The Evil Twin
Arthur – Day One of Fatherhood
OFFICIAL BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT
Issued by Valcourt Palace
Date: December 24th, 2018
The Duke and Duchess of Wellingbourne are delighted to announce the safe arrival of Princess Florence Gwendolyn Evi Cecily (6 lbs 4 oz), born at 3:25 p.m., and Prince James Edward Ruben Winston (6 lbs 2 oz), born at 3:26 p.m.. Both babies and their mum are doing well and are expected to be released from Valcourt Memorial Hospital in time for Christmas dinner.
"HOW ARE YOU FEELING? I mean really, not the stock answer you're giving everyone else."
I lean down and give Tessa a long kiss on the forehead so she can't see the tears in my eyes. I know you're thinking, ‘But Arthur, crying isn’t manly. You're supposed to be this tough, manly man who does mixed martial arts every morning and always has a quick comeback.’
But even though I'm hiding my tears from her, I'm not ashamed to admit my entire world has been rocked in those few minutes between everything being seemingly fine and all those alarms going off. And well...I can't even bring myself to think about it now that it's over.
Our firstborn, baby Florence (or Flora for short), is lying skin-to-skin on Tessa’s upper chest, whilst I hold our son, James, both of whom have perfectly rounded heads covered in wisps of blond hair.
"Told you I’d get my twilight sleep birth,” she says with a faint grin.
I laugh, a little shocked at her ability to make a joke at a time like this.
“I'm fine, Arthur. Really. If I had to guess, I'd say you're more shaken up than I am."
"Ridiculous. I'm absolutely calm as a cucumber."
"No, you're not. First of all, the saying is ‘cool as a cucumber’, and the fact that you're mixing your metaphors tells me you're upset. Second, your lips were glued to my forehead for a very long time, which can only mean you don't want me to know how emotional you are at the moment."
Leaning back, I smile down at her, hoping I look confident but knowing that isn’t very realistic. Her face is all blurry, which must mean my eyes have filled with damn tears again. "Do you remember a long time ago you accused me of wanting to put you into a padded room and keep you locked away from the world..."
"You want to do that now, don't you?"
"I'm just wondering if you're open to negotiation here."
“We’re fine, Arthur. I promise.”
"Yes, but just in case, let's agree to never do this again. Never, never, never."
"I can't promise I won't change my mind, but at this exact moment the idea of never being pregnant or going through labour again sounds pretty freaking good."
I chuckle, then give her a kiss on the lips, overwhelmed by gratitude that she's still here to make me laugh. Resting my forehead to hers, I swallow hard, trying to rein in these damn emotions already.
“Poor baby, you’ve been positively traumatized." Tessa reaches up and touches my cheek with the back of her fingers, causing warmth to spread through me.
"No, I haven't. I just won’t be letting you out of my sight for the next several years or until I can convince myself you'll be okay, whichever comes first. I hope you won't mind us using the bathroom in front of each other from now on." I give her a half-grin to let her know I'm only half-joking.
"Let’s leave a little mystery, shall we?”
“After what happened earlier, I’d say the mystery is...” I stop myself before I ruin the moment. “Never going to end, of course.”
Flora stirs and draws our attention away from each other. Tessa tilts her chin to look down at her. “She’s absolutely perfect, isn’t she?” Glancing at James, she says, “Both of them, I mean. They’re both perfectly perfect in every way.”
“I know. Can you believe we made them ourselves?” I ask, lifting James so I can kiss his little cheek.
“Crazy, right? And not to be rude, but they really are so much better than other people’s babies, aren’t they?”
“Obviously, but we should probably keep that thought to ourselves.”
“So, I shouldn’t spout that opinion in public, like at the salon, for instance?”
The Royal Delivery Page 27
