Jennifer blushed slightly but giggled, and the feeling of dread in my stomach lessened. “It’s fine, Jaz. I know you didn’t mean it like that.” She patted the back of my hand before turning back to the front of the cabin. “See you in a minute.” She shivered dramatically after picking Tray back up. “Brr. I hope you have a fireplace in there.”
I finished firing up the generator then went back to the main entrance of the lodge, relieved the momentary uncomfortable sensation that had settled in my stomach was easing. That said, with Jennifer standing there shivering in the bitter breeze, the flush on her cheeks threatened to take my breath away. I instantly smothered the notion. She was a kid, for fuck’s sake, and I was old enough to be her father. I stomped the feelings down deep inside me, covering the ashes with my size-13 boots for good measure.
“Fireplace? I can do better than that,” I boasted with a grin. “I have a bio-mass system set up around the whole building. Under-floor heating. Instant hot water. Outdoor hot-tub. All the modern conveniences.”
Her face lit. “Please tell me you have a spa bath.” Her lips twisted in a tiny grimace. “It’s a little too cold for the hot-tub.”
I smiled. “You’d be surprised how hot that thing gets, but yeah; there’s a bath and mud-room with outside access through there – I indicated a door to the left – but there is a luxury bathroom down the hall, and each bedroom has its own en-suite shower room.” I swept my arm out, inviting her to precede me up the steps.
“Oh my, Mr. Goldberg. You are such a gentleman,” she said haughtily, lifting her nose into the air like a mock diva.
I gave a brief bow, chuckling, then did my spot-on Han Solo impression. I had been legendary in my unit for the impersonation, absolutely nailing the voice and sardonic, crooked smile. “I do try, your worshipfulness.”
Jennifer’s eyes lit up at the same time as the grin plastered her face. “Maybe not such a gentleman, after all. A little bit of the rogue, perhaps?”
Smart, beautiful, and a Star Wars fan! I returned her grin as I pulled the keys from my pocket, unlocking the door I hadn’t expected to be opening until next year. I stepped aside to let Jennifer into the darkened interior and reached to my right, flicking a switch. The lights came up, bathing the main entrance in a gentle glow, and I felt a flush of pride as I saw her eyes widen.
“Wow!” Jennifer breathed. I let her walk ahead a few steps, and she stood in the entranceway, turning full circle. “You built this?”
My lips quirked up, before settling into a hard, thin line as I fought the memories down. There would be time to grieve soon, I thought, so I forced a smile. “Not all by myself, but yeah, we built it.”
Jennifer was thankfully oblivious to my inner turmoil, so I whistled for Tray – who was inspecting the area immediately outside the lodge – to come inside. As I shut the door, I knew we were safe…for a while, at least.
***
Jennifer
I saw the flicker of pain in Jaz’s eyes. I wanted to go to him, to tell him everything would be okay, but that was a promise I couldn't keep. He and his friends had built this place, together. They were more than friends, I knew, the words not needing to be said. They had been Jaz’s family, and now they were dead. Like mine. Although we’d both lost so much, his grief was a deep and personal thing, and I didn’t think I had the right to intrude. I would have appreciated the courtesy myself, were I showing Jaz my home.
I turned away from him. “So, where do I sleep?” I asked, putting as much cheer into my voice as possible. “And where is that bath?”
I turned back to see his lips twitch briefly upward. I knew the ghost of a smile was a good sign.
He shook the melancholy off like raindrops from a waterproof coat, and bowed that little bow again, holding out his arm to a door to my right. “Care for a tour, Princess?”
Princess. I stifled the childish giggle threatening to escape, and curtsied deeply, grinning at the startled expression on his face. “What, you think you’re the only one who watches Star Wars?”
His eyes crinkled at the corners as he began to laugh. “Looks like we have a lot more in common than I thought. Next, you’ll be telling me you're a Lord of the Rings fan.”
I smiled. I’d show him I wasn’t just another immature kid. “I saw the movies and even played the game for a while.”
Jaz put his face in the palm of his hand, shaking his head gently. I got the feeling he was about to laugh at my expense, but instead he turned, walked across the large, open entrance hall, and opened a door to our right. “Follow me.”
I did. He gave me the grand tour, and I was suitably impressed. The décor was a mix of rugged mountain man meets ultra-high tech comfort. Yes, the walls were crafted from the logs of trees felled from the forest surrounding us, but the windows were tripled glazed. There were animal skin rugs in most rooms, but the heating system he’d activated just after arriving was already banishing the cold that had settled in the lodge since Jaz and his friends had departed, just a few days earlier.
I couldn’t help but think the whole place could benefit from a woman’s touch. I felt a pang of guilt when I realized his wife should have been the one to do that.
We dropped off the small backpack holding my meager possessions outside a door Jaz said was my room, but instead of showing me in, he continued around the corner to another door. It was clear he was preparing for some sort of big reveal, and he was excited about it. I have no idea how I knew that – his face was as neutral as always. I just felt an excited tension emanating from him. We’d come in through what Jaz called the east wing. Every room along that corridor was functional; food stores, fishing gear, clothing, etc. The north and south “wings” were apparently the bedrooms. That left the west wing, the side of the lodge that faced the lake.
Jaz opened a door and let me enter. It was dimly lit, except for a few lights hanging over a sofa on one side of the room and a couple of impossibly comfortable-looking shabby armchairs. The walls were dark. The centerpiece of the room was a huge plate glass window set in the wall facing out over the lake, and even though the sun had set, I could still see out over the still, reflective surface.
“It’s breathtaking,” I whispered. It was. The moon was peeking over the horizon, turning the lake into a vast silver mirror. A single star flickered to life in the deep purple sky, and I made a wish. I didn’t even want to acknowledge it to myself afterward, for fear of it not coming true.
Jaz gave another of his crooked smiles. “This is my favorite room in the whole place.” He crossed to one of the darkened walls, which, now that my eyes had adjusted, I saw were lined with bookshelves. He reached up and retrieved a large, thick tome, and for a second I froze, worried it might be a Bible.
I felt a flash of guilt. For as long as I could remember, I’d gone to mass on Sundays. I’d said my Hail Marys dutifully after my confessions to Father Ted. When I’d watched the end of the world on TV and witnessed the slaughter, I wondered how I had sinned enough to deserve this horror.
In the days after, when I’d lain alone on the cold tile floor of my father’s diner, I’d realized I hadn’t done anything wrong. Then came the hardest realization of my life: God wasn’t real. This wasn’t another flood, like the one sent to wipe out the people in Noah’s time. This was evil, pure and simple, and if God permitted this sort of shit to happen, he was a fucking psycho, and one I never intended to pray to again.
I turned the book over in my hands. It was a heavy hardback, with gold on the rims of the pages and gorgeous, full-color illustrations. I smiled as I saw the title. “The Fellowship of the Ring? That’s the name of the first movie, right?”
Jaz sighed in frustration as he took my hand in his huge, grizzly-bear grip. I felt the calluses on his fingers as they laid my other hand on the book.
“Maybe,” Jaz said. His voice was thick with emotion. His hand trembled as he held the book between my hands. “I’ve never seen the movies, but how about you read the book? When you do, you
’ll realize it’s about the beginning of a journey.”
The tone in his voice, the desperate edge to it…it latched onto a part of me. He was giving me more than the book. He was offering me an opportunity to embark on something wonderful. “Our journey?” I breathed, and I put my hand on his chest, feeling the thunder of his heart.
He stiffened.
I cursed inwardly. “I’m sorry,” I said, letting my hand drop, my voice barely a whisper.
Jaz turned away and walked out of the library, pausing at the doorway to look over his shoulder. His face was a strange mix of ferocity and tenderness, and I braced, having no idea what was coming. Had I crossed a line? Would he kick me out?
“Never apologize to me; ever.” The door closed behind him and I heard him walk away.
Shit! What was I doing? We had both lost everything, and here I was coming onto him? Was I a special kind of stupid, insensitive bitch?
I breathed deeply to ease my racing heart as I went over what had just happened. Had I actually come onto him? Did I want anything to happen? Sure, Jaz was old enough to be my father, even if he’d aged well…incredibly well. Dammit! I mentally berated myself, vowing to bury the feelings deep down inside me.
Tears welled, but I fought them back. Shit, I didn’t know how I felt…about anything. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, God. I mentally kicked myself for my blatant hypocrisy as well as the curse. All I wanted to do was go to my room, lie on the bed, and cry myself to sleep. Instead, I steadied myself, settling down in one of the armchairs, the bath forgotten for now. I curled my knees up under me and opened the book to the first page.
Prologue.
1
Concerning Hobbits.
***
Jaz
What the ever-loving fuck was I doing? I stalked out the front door into the frigid air, breathing deeply, my breath clouding as I began unloading the supplies from the bed of the F-250. What would Sherri think of me now? Logically, she’d been dead for almost two years, but that didn’t help to assuage the guilt. What was the statute of limitation that allowed me to flirt with a girl less than half my age? I briefly second-guessed my decision to bring Jennifer along, then cursed myself. How could I have left her in the diner? She wouldn’t have lasted a week, even if the Treaters hadn’t come calling.
No, it had been the right choice. I set a box of canned goods onto the front porch with a thump. All I had to do was control myself, show her a little respect. She’d lost people too, I knew. Neither of us was thinking straight at the moment. Yeah, that was it. We were both temporarily insane. I grinned and snorted at the thought, a wry smile replacing the scowl. It would work out. I could keep my hands off the girl.
It was ungodly cold, and, as if to remind me how long today’s drive had taken, my stomach rumbled loudly. It was almost full dark so I quickly finished unloading the supplies I wanted to bring inside. The rest would keep; the cold air was as good as any refrigerator. I collected enough supplies for dinner. Tomorrow, I’d set up a smokehouse to cure whatever fresh meat couldn’t be crammed into the freezer.
Tray spotted a squirrel and bounded off after it. I worried about her for a second, but the squirrel scampered up a nearby tree and perched just out of reach as Tray jumped up, yelping and barking like a crazy thing. I had a comical vision of the squirrel throwing nuts at Tray’s face, and I chuckled. I had to go pick her up to get her back into the house, barking indignantly the entire time, determined she was going to eat that squirrel. I made a mental note to get her as used to the forest as possible in the days and weeks to come.
Tonight, I kept dinner simple. Grilled chicken breasts with vegetables and potatoes. I considered opening a bottle of Chardonnay before realizing that probably wasn’t the best idea.
I took my time, giving both of us a little space, but the scent of the food must have made it to the library.
“That smells amazing,” Jennifer said, smiling appreciatively.
I was plating up, so I indicated the large oak table sitting at one end of the kitchen. “Ah, it’s just chicken. Take a seat, it’s about done.”
Jennifer smiled teasingly. “Is there anything you aren’t good at, Mr. Goldberg?”
I liked the way she called me that. It wasn’t like she was treating me as some sort of authority figure. It was more a… friendly taunt or even a term of affection.
I cocked my head in a mock expression of deep thought. “Hmm. I’m not actually sure.”
She snorted. “Modesty isn’t one of your defining qualities, is it?”
I shrugged, setting her plate and drink in front of her. I’d already set two places at either side of the table. I retrieved my meal and settled into my chair, looking across at her. “It’s a Marine thing. All spit, crap, and macho bullshit.” I winked at her. “I’ll try to tone it down a little.”
She smiled and it lit up her face, even as she dropped her gaze.
God, girl. What did you do in a past life to be stuck with a sucker like me? She deserved so much more. She deserved a life, and it had been stolen from her on Halloween night.
“Mmm…this is good, Jaz,” Jennifer mumbled through a mouthful of chicken.
I had to agree. It wasn’t half bad. “You’re just hungry,” I said. I admit it: I was fishing. I loved it when Jennifer said anything positive about me. Her voice was lyrical, like bells blowing in a soft spring breeze.
“Maybe,” she replied, her eyes sparkling, “but it’s still delicious.”
I dismissed her compliment with a shrug, but I couldn’t help the tiny leap my heart gave. Yup, the wine would have been a terrible idea.
***
In the morning, we woke to a grey overcast sky. Winter was coming, and we were not prepared. I’d never spent a winter up here before. The guys and I had spent the last couple of days of our trip chopping down a few trees to replenish the wood store for next year’s Halloween fishing trip – one that would never happen now – but there was enough to cover a week or two, no more.
After a breakfast of bacon, hash browns, and scrambled eggs – extra bacon for Tray, of course – I grabbed an axe and headed for the mudroom.
“Where are you going?” It was a simple enquiry, with none of the fear from the other night. Jennifer felt safe here, I realized, and I got a little buzz from that. I hoped I could keep it that way.
“I need to cut some more wood for the boiler and the fire, for when it gets really cold. There’s nowhere near enough to last the winter. Storms can be pretty severe around these parts, and the last thing we want is to freeze to death.” I grinned at her. “Especially after surviving the end of the world and all.”
Jennifer laughed. It was a lovely sound. “Yes, that’d be plain rude, wouldn’t it?”
I chuckled.
“Do you have another axe?”
My eyes widened. “You know how to chop wood?”
She smirked. “I told you. I used to come up here. My dad didn’t believe in coddling us.”
Again, she did it. There were so many aspects to this young woman that continued to surprise me. I reached down, retrieving a pair of heavy boots to throw at her feet. “Come on, then. There’s another axe in the woodshed. I’ll warn you, we have a few hard days ahead of us. By the end of it, you’ll have aches and pains in places you never knew you had.”
***
Jennifer
Jaz had been right, I realized, as I sat on the end of my bed glancing down at my bandaged hands. He’d been chopping wood for years and had the calluses to prove it. All I had had before now were a few burns from the grill in my dad’s diner.
At the end of the first day, the soft flesh of my hands was red and raw. At the end of day two, they were blistered and cracked. I had managed to hide the wounds from Jaz, even though he’d urged me to stop on several occasions.
He was furious when he saw how bad they were.
“Stupid little girl!” he snapped.
I was about to retort that I wasn’t a little girl, never mind stupid, when I s
aw the look in his eyes. He wasn’t just angry. He was worried…terrified even.
He led me into the mudroom to wash and dress my hands.
“Jennifer,” he said quietly, his voice even, despite the tension vibrating in it. “You...We have to be careful. Really careful. We’re alone up here, and soon, we’ll be snowed in. No doctors’ house calls, even if there are any doctors left. Do you understand?”
I did, and a wave of guilt washed over me. What if my cuts had become infected? Did Jaz even have the right medication out here? I’d seen him break into the locked cabinets back at the drugstore, but had they contained antibiotics I could use? I was allergic to penicillin…something I’d confess later, I decided. Had he gotten any Keflex, or something similar? How would we even figure out what the meds were for without the internet?
“I’m sorry. I should have told you before they got so bad. I just didn’t want to disappoint you.” I was genuinely contrite, biting my bottom lip in embarrassment. “I wanted to pull my own weight.”
Jaz put a hand under my chin and lifted it so I looked him in the eyes. “I told you before; you don’t need to apologize to me.” His expression darkened. “I knew you were pushing yourself and I should have stopped you. I should have made you stop.” He paused. “Truth be told, I was enjoying the company.”
I thought his voice might break, so I leaned in to hug him. “Jaz, do me a favor? Next time I decide to be a stubborn pain in the ass, kick my butt.”
He was quiet for a second while he considered my request. “Hmm, I dunno, your worshipfulness. I don’t know you well enough yet to know if you’re being stubborn or a pain in the ass, never mind both at the same time.”
Treaters: Book One of the Divine Conflict. Page 9
