by Lacey Alpha
I head to the bedroom, finding Paul sitting on his bed dressed in a white shirt and trousers. “Hey man, have a good day?”
I nod, unable to fight the smile that drags up my lips. “You?”
“The girls have been busy so I've had a rare afternoon to myself. “ He sighs. “I would have traded it for an afternoon like yours though.”
“Why don't you take Libby somewhere tomorrow morning?” I suggest, grabbing some clothes from my bag and tugging off my shirt.
“That's the plan. If Kat doesn't make more demands of her. I mean, the girl has no fucking idea how much it took to organise this weekend and I'm not gonna let her steal Libby away from me for the whole of it.”
“Good for you,” I remark and Paul's eyes fall to the bullet scars on my abdomen.
“Woah, what happened to you?”
“Got caught in a crossfire in Iraq.” I finger the scars absent-mindedly.
He stands, glancing up and down me as if seeing me differently. “Jesus,” he mutters.
I shrug, heading past him and feeling his eyes burning a hole in my back. I head to the bathroom to shower, bumping into Eric on the landing. He looks pretty casual, the sleeves of his black shirt rolled up to expose his tattoos, the hem hanging loose over his trousers.
“Hey,” I say and he nods to me, heading past me without a word. I glance over my shoulder at him, frowning. I doubt he's enjoying all the attention this weekend, no doubt this party was his fiancée's idea.
I shower and change into a light blue shirt and grey trousers, fixing my hair in the mirror. I tuck my hand into my pocket, assessing myself. I look like a new man. It's not just the clothes or the hair, it's me. The heaviness in my eyes is absent. The dark circles from weeks of sleepless nights have finally gone.
And it's all because of her.
What does that mean?
I can't dwell on it but a darkness crosses my mind as I realise this man is fleeting. I'll soon tumble back into chaos and anger. Become the monster I truly am. When she's gone, the light in me will extinguish. And there's nothing I can do to stop it.
I step into the hall and find the girls filing out onto the landing. Annalise is at the back of the parade as they march downstairs so I quicken my pace, grabbing hold of her arm.
Pressing a finger to her lips, I tug her away around a corner. I push her up against the wall, flicking my eyes up and down her dress. It's a deep navy blue the colour of the night sky and a singular jewel hangs around her neck, sitting just between the line of her cleavage.
“You look...” I search for the words, wetting my dry tongue. “Angelic.”
She giggles softly, snaking her arms around my waist and encouraging me closer. “I could say the same to you.”
Her laughter makes my insides clench tightly and I lean in, stealing a precious kiss. How many more will we have?
I feel the darkness creeping into my mind, the voice that threatens to overwhelm me bordering on my senses. I inhale slowly, dragging down Annalise's scent, fixating myself on the moment. Nothing else.
“Come on,” she breathes. “Kat is going to string us up if we don't behave.”
She ducks under my arm and I grin, padding after her, dog-like. “I don't want to behave.”
She shoots me a mischievous look over her shoulder, her shining hair swinging across her back.
My cock grows at her expression, my throat drying up.
“Lise,” I groan, taking her waist as we head downstairs.
She giggles softly, only making me even madder for her. The only thing I'm currently in the mood for is stealing her away to myself.
Guests are arriving downstairs, the large dining room set up for the party, the long table pushed to one side and laid out with drinks and food.
Annalise takes my hand, her soft fingers slipping between mine. She guides me across the room to the table where a waiter is pouring drinks.
“What would you like madam, sir?” he asks in a thick Irish accent, glancing between us.
My gut stirs uncomfortably. I shouldn't drink. I don't want to trigger my anxiety. This weekend has nearly been plain sailing.
“A rum and coke, if you have it,” Annalise orders, looking to me.
I tongue my cheek, feeling the old welt there. The one I ripped open after a nightmare, after seeing her burn, her eyes accusing.
I pull my hand free of hers, pressing my fingers into my eyes, trying to keep control on myself.
“Ethan?” Annalise says softly, her arm brushing mine.
I take a slow, steadying breath and open my eyes. I find that calm place inside me again, the one that she's created, and fix my gaze on the waiter. “A sparkling water, thanks.”
Annalise rests her head against my arm as we wait for the guy to pour our drinks.
I gaze around the room, grounding myself, focusing on the warm presence of Annalise beside me. I slip my arm around her, pulling her closer. I'm frightened of my attachment to her. It's growing more intense than it ever was before I truly knew her. And now I don't know how I'll ever cope when I break this off. A selfish part of me wants to stay here in our bubble, sapping her calming energy and pretending I'm not a complete psycho. That my mind isn't a dark place that's caused me to do so many bad, obsessive things.
I run my thumb down Annalise's spine, savouring the feel of her so near to me.
The party soon gets into full swing, the two sides of Kat and Eric's families so glaringly obvious, I have no trouble guessing who's who. Eric's family are rigid, quiet. Just like him. There's only a handful of them in comparison to Kat's family who are all exuberant and full of energy.
We hang out with Libby and Paul, the two of them constantly passing little looks at each other. It makes my chest ache. How is it fair that I have to say goodbye to the chance of being that? Happily together, adoring each other.
I glance at Annalise as she chats with Libby animatedly. A couple of rum and cokes and she's an open book, gesturing passionately with her hands as she debates politics with her friend.
“What do you think?” Libby rounds on Paul.
He sips his beer casually. “I think you should never talk about politics when you're drunk.”
“I'm not drunk!” Libby snaps and I give Paul an apologetic frown as Annalise takes my arm and draws me aside.
“Dance with me,” she implores, grinning.
I take the drink from her hand, placing it with my own on a table before pulling her close to dance. She links her hands around my waist, smiling cheekily up at me. My lips tug up at the corners and I shake my head at her.
“You're trouble, Annalise Drake.”
“So are you, Ethan Harding,” she laughs, leaning back, hanging her weight from my neck.
I spin her around, holding her hand and twirling her, watching her dress spin about her knees. She falls into me, ducking her chin to my chest. I spot Paul guiding Libby out of the room, her giggling raising above the music.
“Have you seen Eric?” Kat appears, placing her hands on her hips.
Annalise and I break apart, turning to her.
“No.” Annalise glances around, searching for him.
Kat tuts, flicking her hair over shoulder. “He's been hiding all night. I dunno what his deal is.”
“Big parties don't seem like his kind of thing,” I say with a shrug.
She narrows her eyes on me. “You don't even know him.”
“I know he's looked uncomfortable all weekend.”
Annalise's hand slides around my arm, trying to halt me. “I'm sure he's around. We'll go look for him.”
Kat glowers at me then turns to Annalise with a brief smile. “Thanks Lise. Keep your dog on a leash, yeah?” She struts away and Annalise moves to follow, her spine straightening.
“How dare she?” She turns to me, her brows furrowed in anger.
“It's my fault. I shouldn't have said anything.” I take her waist, drawing her toward the door.
“Pah! You were just telling the truth. I
don't know why she's thrown such an extravagant event for a bloody engagement. Eric hardly speaks when there's just a few people around let alone this.” She waves a hand at the party.
I guide her out of the room to placate her and we head upstairs. “He's probably just taking five minutes to himself.”
“So we should leave him be. Poor guy.” Annalise shakes her head, making her hair dance around her shoulders.
She's so beautiful. Does she even see it?
I run my fingers up her spine, reaching for the ends of her hair and gently pulling them between my fingers.
She glances at me, her cheeks turning candyfloss pink at my expression.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” I drop my eyes to her mouth, avoiding those fiery eyes. I clear my throat as a ball lodges in it, trying to ignore the painful heat sliding up my spine.
She inhales a little breath and I reach up, resting my thumb on her lower lip, tugging ever so slightly.
“Ethan...” she breathes. “You look at me like you're going to stand by my side forever. But you're not going to, are you?”
I pull her closer, a sigh rolling up my throat. “I would stand by your side for all eternity, Lise. But a day will come that you won't want me to.”
She shakes her head, blinking back tears. “That's not true,” she insists.
I silence any further argument with a kiss. This road leads to a precipice, but I'm going to enjoy the drive whilst it lasts.
I walk her backwards toward the bedroom and she reaches behind her, opening it.
As we stumble inside, a scream makes us spring apart. Paul and Libby are going at it on their bed, her legs locked around his waist.
Annalise grabs my hand, guiding me back out of the room shouting, “Sorry!”
She bursts out laughing as I slam the door behind us. I grin in amusement, shaking my head.
“Oops,” she says, hiding behind her hands. “I did not wanna see that!”
“I'm sure they feel the same,” I laugh, snatching her hand and tugging her along the corridor.
“Where are we going?” She continues to giggle and the sound turns me on like mad.
I shoot her a hungry look and her laughter halts in her throat.
“Oh,” she breathes, looking excited.
Footsteps sound up the stairs behind us and I glance back, hearing Kat's heated voice approaching.
“Fuck,” I mutter, yanking open a door at random and tugging Annalise inside.
I press her against me as we stand in complete darkness, trying to remain silent as Kat walks past.
“Eric?” she calls. “Where the fuck are you?”
Annalise's hands slide up my back, beneath my shirt, her skin on mine electric.
“I think we're in a cupboard,” she whispers and I let out a low laugh.
We fall silent, our quickened breathing filling the air. I trace my fingers over her waist, memorising her curves.
She breathes in deep as I reach her thighs, gently skimming my hands down them. I feel her move out of reach and her mouth is suddenly hot on my abs.
I gasp as her lips trail lower, consumed by desire, my cock achingly ready for her.
“Annalise,” I groan, encouraging her up by the hand, not wanting her to give me any undeserved pleasure. At least when I fuck her it feels good for her too.
She slowly stands, her mouth running up my chest, encouraging me to take my shirt off.
I pull it over my head, discarding it and grabbing hold of her, my cock rubbing hard against the inside of my trousers.
I lift her dress, dragging it up her body and over her head. Gently, I cup her chin, tilting her head back to find her mouth, my lips colliding with hers.
Swiftly, I bunch my hand in her hair, tightening my grip and forcing her against me. She moans, the sound filling the air. I respond by hooking a finger into the waistband of her knickers and tugging her even closer. My hardened cock rubs against her and her hand slides between us, rubbing me in firm strokes.
“I want you so bad,” I growl, slipping my fingers into her silken knickers.
She gasps as I find her wet spot, sliding my index finger inside her.
“I've never felt like this, Ethan,” she sighs, leaning her weight against me.
I slip another finger inside her, silencing her, not wanting to talk. Not wanting to face the truth about what this really is.
Psycho.
I blink away the voice, tugging my hand free of her soaking pussy, needing to lose myself in her. I drag down my zip, releasing my rock hard length. Taking her hips, I turn her around and position myself between her trembling thighs.
“Are you alright?” I murmur, running a hand down her back to relax her.
“Yes,” she moans, her voice laced with desire.
I push between her legs, holding her hips to drive in deep. She cries out and I quickly place a hand over her mouth.
“Quiet,” I hiss through my teeth, moving slowly in and out of her.
Her breath is hot on my hand as I keep it in place, drawing her back against me.
I slide my other hand up her stomach, feeling every muscle firming beneath my touch. I reach beneath her bra, cupping her breast and rolling her hardened nipple between my finger and thumb.
She gasps as I work her slowly toward climax, trying to forget everything but the two of us, entangled here together like nothing else exists in the world.
My end begins to pulse with pleasure and I know I can't hold on much longer.
She pushes her hips back, letting me in deep, her pussy tightening around me with each thrust.
“I want to keep you,” I growl in her ear, my chest filling with longing.
“You can,” she manages.
I shut my eyes, enjoying her, increasing my pace.
She bends forward, leaning on something in the darkness, bracing herself for me.
I tilt my head back, relishing the feel of her around me, groaning as I pump in and out of her.
I slide my hand around her waist, reaching her throbbing clit and rubbing her in slow, teasing strokes.
She starts moaning and crying my name. It makes me feel high with power and I forget about people hearing, I forget about everything but her here with me, surrendering herself.
I give her everything I've got, holding out for her to finish first. She squeezes my length as she comes, her body going slack as she loses the strength in her legs. I hold her up, pushing into her and filling her with my own climax. Pleasure rolls through my shaft and I swear through my teeth, gripping her hips tightly as I hold onto the moment. It lasts forever and equally no time at all.
When we step into the hall a few minutes later, it's beyond obvious what we've been doing. Annalise's hair is mussed up and her lipstick smudged, my shirt is hanging out and buttoned up all wrong.
She laughs at me and I at her as we head to the bathroom to clean ourselves up.
Before we reach it, Eric appears from one of the bedrooms, glancing at us. He pauses, taking us in, his brow furrowing.
“You two are perfect for each other,” he says simply then continues on his way downstairs.
Coming from a guy who's said nothing to me at all since I first met him, it feels somehow more impactful than if anyone else had said it.
Annalise looks a little stunned. I press a hand to her waist, encouraging her into the bathroom, my mind circling with Eric's words. Perfect is a strong word. And perfect is exactly what I'm not. He wouldn't have said it if he knew the truth.
A balloon bursts in my chest, the deflated feeling dragging me down into the depths of darkness.
Dirty, lying, scum.
ANNALISE
Ethan seems off as we head home the next day. The flight is excruciating, him pretending to read a magazine, grunting at my attempts to draw him into conversation. I can't even distract myself by talking to Libby because her face turns bright red every time I try.
By the time we're approaching England, emotion burns in my
throat, stinging my eyes. This weekend was one of the best of my life, now he's shutting me out. And I don't understand why.
“Where were you half the night?” Kat's voice sails back from the row ahead.
“I needed a break, Kat. You know I don't like crowds,” Eric mutters, his voice so low I barely hear it.
“Well you'd better get used to it for the wedding.”
“I don't want a big wedding,” he snaps, his voice a deadly growl.
Kat kicks off then and the whole flight is forced to listen to her screeching at Eric. Anxiety grows in my chest like kindling catching light then growing into a roaring frame.
When I simply can't take it any more, I unclip my belt and stand up, my fury overflowing. “Shut up Kat! Not everyone likes doing things the way you do!”
She falls silent, turning to me, her eyes wide as if she can hardly believe I've shouted at her.
The captain speaks across the tannoy, informing us that we're about to land. Before she can come up with a retort, I drop back into my seat.
I feel Ethan's eyes on me but stare determinedly out the window, my pulse thumping in my ears.
The journey through customs is tense as hell and I'm glad when we finally part ways with the others at Charing Cross station. Kat doesn't say a word to me, still seeming shell-shocked by my outburst. Ethan and I take the tube towards home and I finally decide to confront him.
“Are you alright?” I question, touching his arm as he holds onto the yellow rail above my head.
He nods stiffly, remaining silent, avoiding my eyes.
“I thought we had a nice weekend,” I murmur, feeling foolish for saying it but unsure how else to approach this.
“We did,” he says simply but there's a coolness to his voice that warns me off.
“Then why are you being so distant?” I feel so small beneath his arm, his terrifying expression.
He sighs. “I shouldn't have come away with you.”
Hurt lances through my chest and I look down at my feet. I half expect him to go on, to explain that he didn't mean to sound so harsh, but he doesn't.
When we arrive at the station, he wordlessly carries both of our bags, heading up the stairs toward the exit.
