by Woods, Emily
Cole noticed that Mark suddenly seemed to be paying special attention to their conversation.
“Aw, you know how women are. They get offended at the slightest thing. And then I tried to go after her but didn't see the basket at my feet and I fell. That's all.”
Mark's Adam's apple bobbed up and down and his mouth tightened into a thin line. “Did you say something improper? You better not have done that.”
“What? No, nothing like that. I just...” How could he explain? “I just told her something about myself, something kind of personal, and she didn't like it. That's all.”
Boone and Charlie seemed content with that, but Mark didn't look appeased in the least, and Austin continued to hound him for details.
“Is it something you want to talk about? I can pray for you if you want.”
Although harsh words rose to his mind, Cole refrained from speaking them. When he looked into Austin's earnest face, he knew that the man only wanted to help. He probably didn't even realize how preachy he sounded.
“Nah, that's okay. God's got bigger things to worry about than me.”
Austin shook his head. “You're wrong there. God is always thinking about you.”
Pulling his gaze away from where Mark looked like he was about to quietly bust open, Cole stared at Austin, slightly baffled. “What do you mean by that? Aren't wars being fought somewhere in the world? Crimes being committed? People starving and such? All His time's got to be used up with looking after that. My little problems are nothing in comparison.”
Swinging his legs over the side of the bunk, Austin reached for his Bible. Cole wanted to groan, but he kept quiet. He'd encouraged the man, after all.
“Listen to this: 'Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? And one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore. Ye are of more value than many sparrows.' Do you know who said that? Jesus.”
Cole stared at him for a moment. He knew if he said one thing, Austin would probably go on for hours about God. He'd experienced overly zealous religious people before and knew how to handle them.
“That's good for you, but I'm fine the way I am.”
That usually shut people up. What could they say after that? He expected that Austin would be the same, but what he didn't expect was the tremendous look of pity that crossed his face.
“Who hurt you?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Stunned, Cole blinked several times and opened his mouth, but nothing came out.
“How do I know? Well, it's been my experience that people who don't want help or unconditional love feel that way because they don't think they deserve it. When a person insists on standing on his or her own two feet, it's because they've never been given a choice to do otherwise, but I'll tell you this, Cole Reynolds: you do have a choice. You can accept the unconditional love of your Heavenly Father, a love so big that He gave up His own Son to take your punishment, or you can keep going on the way you have, but don't let the evil one fool you. There is another way.”
With that, he picked up his Bible and opened it up, leaving Cole to sit and ponder his words.
Were they true?
Chapter 13
Cole had a hard time settling down to sleep that night as Austin’s words kept repeating in his mind. Did he reject God because he felt rejected by his uncle? That didn't make a lot of sense to him. He didn't want to put his faith into something or Someone that he couldn't see or prove was real. There had been too many times in his life when he'd been let down by hoping and wishing for something that never came true. Believing in God seemed to be another one of those things.
“Austin,” he whispered. “You sleeping?”
“Mmmmm, not really. What's up?”
Cole didn't know if he wanted to talk about this, but it was sitting so heavy on his mind that he knew he wouldn't sleep if he didn't.
“Uh, what makes you so sure that God is real? Why do you believe?”
There was a long pause and Cole wondered if he'd heard him, or maybe he’d fallen asleep, but then a quiet answer came.
“That's a hard one to answer. I mean, I can give you a list of reasons, but they won't mean anything to you or convince you unless God's already put His Spirit in your heart.”
Cole was confused. “Uh, isn't it your job to try to convince me? What are you doing, Austin? I'm giving you a chance. Preach away.”
A low chuckle reached his ears. “I don't know if I can tell you anything you don't already know, but I'll try. I believe that God created the world and that Jesus is His Son sent to pay for our sins partly because it just makes sense. The world didn't just appear. You can't get something from nothing. Also, the world works so perfectly. Everything in nature is so...organized, you know? And amazing. It's kind of like a painting. Someone had to plan it and then make it.”
Cole considered his words for a moment. “I guess that part makes sense, but...what about Jesus?”
“He was a part of the plan from the beginning. God knew that people were going to mess up. Our sin separates us from Him, but Jesus brings us back.”
Shaking his head in the dark, Cole sighed. “That part doesn't really make sense to me. How does one man's death give me eternal life?”
“Well, think about it this way. What if you're guilty of something that deserves a hanging and some other guy comes along and takes your punishment for you? You get to go free. We all do stuff wrong and don't deserve to go to Heaven, but God loves us and wants us there with Him, so Jesus took our place by dying on the cross.”
He'd heard the story many times before in the church his uncle and aunt had forced him to attend. A thin preacher with a condescending attitude and a harsh voice had chastised the congregation for all the wrong they'd done in their lives and threatened them with eternal punishment if they didn't turn from their ways. He'd spoken of Jesus too, but heaped shame on their heads for 'putting Him on the cross.'
But then, somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered sitting in a small church with his parents where he'd heard the big man at the front talk about Jesus. That man's face had been covered with tears as he explained how much Jesus loved them, and how He'd come all the way to Earth to save them.
So, which man was right? According to Austin, it was the second, and as he tried to recall more about that church, about sitting between his parents when he was only eight or nine years old, a fierce warmth ignited in his heart.
“It seems like a fairy tale,” he murmured. “You know, the brave knight coming to save the princess from the dragon.”
“Well, maybe that's where the authors got their ideas from. Makes sense in a way.”
“Some of us are trying to sleep here,” came a grumpy voice from across the room.
“Sorry,” Cole mumbled back. As Austin's words rolled around in his mind, Cole was both confused and comforted at the same time. “Thanks for talking,” he said in a low voice. “I, uh, will think about it.”
“No problem. And, Cole?”
“Hmm?”
“I'll be praying for you.”
A giant hand squeezed his chest and the backs of his eyes tingled. “Thanks.”
* * *
The next morning, Cole didn't feel enlightened exactly, but there was a pressing feeling in his heart, a pull toward the things Austin had said. Before breakfast, Austin had offered to show him part of the Bible where he could read about the things they'd talked about. Cole had replied that he'd think about it, but he knew he wanted to. However, something in him resisted.
“Got a minute?” Luke asked him when breakfast was over. “Let's go for a walk.”
The other men shot him a curious look, but Austin looked a little concerned.
“Uh, of course.”
His heart was hammering away in his chest as he wondered if Maddie had gone back on her word and told her father about his plans. That had to be it. What else could Luke want to talk about?
“I heard about your hand,” he started. “How's it feeling?”
“Um, alright. Missus Winston and Miss Maddie put some egg white on it and that seemed to help some.”
Luke nodded as they walked in the opposite direction of the barn. The older man suddenly stopped and crossed his arms, a concerned look on his face. “I don't like it too much when a man working for me is hiding something. It makes me wonder if I should trust him.”
Now his heart felt like it was beating double-time. “I...I didn't mean any harm,” he started, his voice sounding strained. “It's just... Well, I didn't expect...” What could he say exactly? “I was going to tell you when the time was right.”
“Hmm, and when would that be? I'm not sure how I feel about all this, Cole. To be honest, I had high hopes for you. Ever since you started here, you've proven yourself to be a hard worker, respectful and all that, but now I wonder how much has been going on behind my back. I don’t like the idea too much.”
Luke's words confused him.
“Going on? Nothing's really been going on.” It wasn't as though he was stealing from him or trying to take the ranch. He was just learning.
“No? That's not what my wife seems to think. She says there were sparks flying in every direction yesterday between you and Maddie. Are you sure there isn't something you want to tell me?”
The normally kind face had darkened like a storm cloud and Cole had no idea what to say.
“Sparks? Maddie? Me? I...I don't... There isn't...” Perspiration broke out along his brow. “I haven't touched her, sir. I swear.”
Luke continued to stare him down, eyes narrowed. “Then why are you sweating and stammering? Seems like you must be guilty of something. If it isn't playing with my daughter's affections, what is it?”
Now seemed like a good time to come clean about his plan.
“I want my own ranch.”
The look of confusion that suddenly appeared on Luke's face was so comical, Cole nearly burst out laughing.
“You want... What?”
Swallowing hard, Cole worked up the nerve to tell him the real reason why he'd come out west. It took several minutes to explain, but as he did so, the bewilderment on Luke's face cleared and was replaced by a look of amusement.
“Well now, that's no crime. Pretty much every man who becomes a hand has that ambition. That's nothing to be ashamed of.”
“But not too many of them get a ranch, do they?”
Luke looked torn. Clearly, he didn't want to crush Cole’s dream, but he also didn't want to lie to him.
“Not too many. I'm only part-owner here because God brought me to Triple Range at the right time. Carl inherited some money and Wesley brought some with him.”
“But I have money,” he replied quietly. “It's not enough to let me live like a gentleman my whole life, but I think it's enough to buy a piece of land and raise some cattle. The problem is, I don't have any idea what I'm doing, so I came here to learn. Missus Tanner told me about how she and her husband nearly lost this ranch, and I don’t want that to happen to me.”
Luke looked at him for several moments before replying. “Well, that's a different story, isn't it? Why didn't you tell me from the beginning? Thought I'd be afraid of a little competition?” He gave him a bit of a grin. “Triple Range is pretty solid, and there's plenty of demand, so I'm not worried.”
Cole felt a surge of relief. “No, sir, I mean, yes, sir. Thanks for understanding.”
“Well, now that I know, I can give you a bit more specific help, but we need to work something out. How about if I pay you half of what I give the other hands, along with room and board, and I'll take you under my wing, so to speak.”
Now Cole felt like jumping into the air, or at least giving a great shout.
“Do you mean it, sir? Really?”
Luke nodded, but then looked at him closely. “But are you sure there's nothing going on between you and Maddie? My wife has a pretty good eye for this kind of thing.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to say no, but then he remembered how he felt yesterday when she was playing nurse. His heart hammered in his chest once again, but for an entirely different reason. He didn't want to lie to this man, but nothing had happened.
“I haven't done anything to disrespect her, sir. And I never would.”
A muscle in Luke's jaw flexed, but Cole thought he saw a hint of a grin.
“Hmm. That's not exactly a direct answer now, is it?”
Again, sweat broke out, this time along his back.
“I-I think very highly of her, Mister Winston, but there's nothing going on.”
Luke grunted in reply, narrowing his eyes and giving him a level look. Finally, he nodded. “Alright then. Let's get started on your training and see what kind of rancher we can make out of you.”
Chapter 14
“Well, now, I thought I'd scared you off for good,” Tallie said when Maddie rode up to the front of her house the next day. “But I guess I didn't try hard enough.”
Although she usually enjoyed her friend's teasing, today, Maddie couldn't even fake a smile.
“I've come with a burden, I'm afraid.”
“Ah, well, you're welcome no matter the reason, and your timing couldn’t be better. Wesley has taken the children to town to give me a break. He said I'm going to have my hands full again quite soon, so I deserve a day off to do nothing at all.”
Maddie looked at Tallie skeptically. “And are you doing that?”
The other woman laughed, the sound a tinkling bell to Maddie's ears. Tallie Crawford was the most feminine woman she'd ever met, a complete opposite of herself, and it was in part for that reason that she sought out her friend today.
“Oh, you know me. I may long for the lazy days of the South every now and again, but the truth is that I'm used to being a hardworking Western woman now. You just caught me in the middle of darning the kids' socks.”
It never ceased to amaze her that although the Crawfords once again were wealthy beyond their needs, Tallie was as frugal as a pauper.
“Uh, I'd offer to help, but I'm afraid I'd just make the holes bigger,” she said regretfully.
“Never you mind that. I wouldn't dream of putting my favorite visitor to work. Well, other than perhaps putting on come water to boil so we can share some of that tea Wesley still gets from back home.”
“Aren't Lucinda and Fanny about?” The two servants, mother and daughter, had come from the South, the mother with Wesley and the daughter with his sister, Georgina.
“Not today,” she replied, her eyes sparkling. “Would you believe that Wesley insisted they go along to town?”
Maddie knew the reason for her mischievous look. Although people in the West weren't as discriminatory as those in the southern part of the country, there were still enough to raise eyebrows at the group. Maddie was sure that Lucinda and Fanny were riding up on the bench with Wesley and all the children were packed into the wagon bed.
“He sure does like to cause trouble, doesn't he?” she asked with a bit of a grin. She liked Wesley quite a lot and often wished there was a younger version of him somewhere. He was debonair, handsome, wealthy, and always treated Tallie like a princess. Plus, he had a strong sense of justice and wasn't at all like the Southerners she'd read about.
Tallie was grinning. “It's one of his more surprising characteristics. I'd always thought him so upright and sensible, but every now and then, he likes to be a burr under society's saddle.”
After setting the kettle on the stove to boil and arranging a plate of biscuits for the two of them to share, Maddie sat down in the bright, spacious kitchen to pour out her heart.
“Do you remember the ranch hand that I told you about the last time I was here?”
Tallie nodded, breaking a biscuit in half and nibbling on a corner. “Quite dashing, if I recall, but you mentioned that he seemed uninterested in, uh, romance.”
“Yes, and so I tried to set my heart aside, especially when I sus
pected that he was here for some other reason than just to work. It turns out that I'm right, but that doesn't matter right now.” She'd decided on the way over that she wouldn't tell anyone about Cole's secret plan. “I have a problem that goes deeper than that.”
Leaning forward slightly, Tallie's eyes widened and she nodded encouragingly.
Maddie sighed, took a bite of her cookie, and chewed for a moment. “Well, yesterday, there was a bit of an accident. It was kind of my fault, and kind of not, but the point is that Cole got hurt because of my carelessness. In a way, I thought he deserved it, but after I saw how bad the injury was, I felt guilty. If that weren't enough, Mama made me tend to him. Oh, Tallie, I had to basically hold his hand for thirty minutes. It was pure torture!”
She could tell that Tallie was trying very hard to remain serious. “Yes, it sounds like it,” she agreed evenly. “And were you able to tell if he was feeling the same way?”
Maddie shook her head, misery written on her face. “I think he sees me as a child. Anyway, I don't want to like him. He's not my type.”
Tallie didn't say anything, merely raised an eyebrow.
“Don't look at me that way,” Maddie snapped, her lips forming a pout.
“Sorry, sweetie, but...let me ask you this: What is your type?”
Brow pulled low, she tried to think of the words. “Well, I guess handsome and strong is a part of it, and he's got that down, but as for personality, I want someone sweet who will care about me and my feelings, someone who will know what I want before I even open my mouth, someone loyal and kind. He'll be utterly devoted to me and I'll bring a smile to his face every time he sees me.”
Maddie’s lips curved into a brief smile, imagining such a man until Tallie said, “You just described Mark.” Those words were like a bucket of frigid water being poured over her head.
“No, that's not, I mean, I don't...ugh!”
“Mark is very sweet and he would lasso the moon for you if he could. All he sees is you.”
“I don't want that!” She'd come over to try to clear her head, but she felt more confused than ever. “Tallie, what should I do? I can't like Cole. He's a...” It was on the tip of her tongue to call him a traitor, but she couldn't tell Tallie that. She'd promised.
