by Cal Matthews
“Stop what you're doing,” I said. My voice sounded strange, distant and warped, unrecognizable to my own ears. There was something wrong with my eyes, too, and I blinked a few times against the sudden narrowing of my vision.
“Ebron, wait,” Marcus said. He came up behind me, but he didn't try to touch me. I couldn't look at him. No one moved.
“Get on your stomach,” I said, taking a step forward and pressing the barrel of the gun harder into Morgan's forehead. She shook, her face crumbing, and she slowly sank down, looking desperately towards Corvin's lifeless body. I moved the gun to the back of her head, and pressed hard enough to make her strain forward. She huffed out a low, shaking moan.
Marcus moved closer, shoving himself against my arm so that I had to move the gun away from Morgan. She sighed softly when it stopped touching her and that sound made my lips curl back.
“You can do it at will, can't you?” he asked softly, low enough that I had to lean forward to catch it all.
“Do what?”
“Release your soul. Access the higher planes. You don't need spells or to die or anything. You can travel where you want?”
“I have no idea. I can go up high enough to -” I broke off, not wanting to reveal the limits of my abilities.
He nodded. “So do it then. Bring them back for me.”
I wanted to tell him that I would, but not for him. I would because that was what I did. But there was darkness creeping around the corners of my vision, and just for a second, I thought I heard laughter, low and cruel. I whipped my head to the side to look at Corvin's body, but it lay motionless.
There was a sudden pull in my mind, an unexpected jerk and I was yanked upwards for the briefest of moments, just high enough to see a dark shadow there, right in front of me. It dropped me immediately and I gasped, solidly back in my physical body and stunned with understanding.
Marcus gripped my forearms, heedless of the gun barrel pressed against his side.
“What about her?” I whispered, nodding towards Morgan, who watched me with suddenly calculating eyes.
“We'll take care of her,” Marcus said. He reached for my gun.
“I'll take care of her,” Leo corrected, taking the gun from me and tapping Marcus in the chest with it.
Marcus scowled at him. “We're on the same side.”
“I'm on Ebron's side,” Leo snapped back. “No one else's.”
Leo tugged at me, pulling me towards Jim and Shaina’s lifeless bodies. All of them watched me go, even Morgan, looking up from under her brows. I had the strangest sense that I was going to a funeral and that it might be my own.
Leo pushed me against the wall and settled me there, helping me to slide down. I felt like I was underwater. There should have been bubbles coming from my mouth when I spoke.
“Don't hurt Marcus,” I told him, my voice thick, like speaking through molasses.
“I won't. Ebron . . . ”
My mind yawned, forking apart as part of me rose and part of me slumped down. With every breath I took I floated higher and higher, like climbing stairs. I thought I saw double. Dark shadows played in the corners of my eyes.
“I might not come back,” I said to Leo. My words felt mushy in my mouth.
He nodded. “I know.” He leaned over and kissed me gently, his lips soft and warm against mine. I barely felt the kiss.
“Thank you, Ebron,” he said, and I started to tell him to take care of my dog, but then I was yanked upwards and out of the physical world.
Chapter Twenty-One
I wandered forward into the blackness, my arms held shakily out before me. My pounding heart gradually slowed as I moved into the familiar stillness. Pleasant dimness, with twinkling lights snowing gracefully all around me. My astral legs felt sluggish, as though I was walking through water, but even that felt calming. I took a deep breath, sucking in little shining motes of light and felt dormant parts of my brain snap into awareness.
“Better,” I said out loud and felt someone squeeze my physical hand. I wanted to open my eyes, to check if it was Leo, but movement in the floating pinpricks of light caught my attention.
“Jim?” I asked. “Shaina?” I moved upwards a bit, climbing higher into the astral planes. The air felt thin, the light less bright. Shapes swirled in the shadows and a low whisper just barely reached my ears. I moved higher, and realized with some curiosity that my own feet were faded and hazy. There seemed to be nothing beneath me but gray.
Okay. Think. I could still feel power vibrating in my bones, accessible and waiting. I was higher up, but it was still the same road. I stared hard into the empty stillness around, looking for any sign of a soul. Was it possibly that they were still even further up? I didn’t know how high dream walkers could go – how high I could go.
And wherever Corvin was, I still had home field advantage.
Gradually, I became aware that the little lights - the little floating motes of illumination that were everywhere a little farther down - weren't absent at all, just tiny and far apart. The strange darkness seemed to almost suck the light out, but they were there, barely noticeable. Carefully, I stuck out my hands and felt the lights coming towards me, attracted to me like static. Little by little the light grew on my hands, gaining strength until it was bright as a torch. I gathered it into a ball and pulled it close to my chest, feeling the warmth and was grateful for the comfort.
Feeling bolder, I moved higher and immediately felt my chest constrict. I gasped, the pain a surprise because I hadn’t even done anything yet, hadn’t even encountered a soul. Still holding the light close to me, I dropped down a hair and the tightness loosened. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.
I exhaled in relief, seeing the two souls floating nearby, their light dim but growing stronger as they approached. Something about their approach seemed hesitant to me, but I reached out nonetheless with my glowing arms and watched as the souls came close.
“I was worried about you,” I told them and one of them flared for an instant. I winced, pressure gathering inside my head, but I had them now. I sucked in deep breaths, pulled the souls into the bright circle of my arms, and released, intending to drop down quietly and guide them home.
A half-formed shape came hurtling out of the darkness. It struck me in the center of my chest. My arms flung instinctively open, showering light everywhere. The two souls drew back and I saw something come over them, stretching over their light.
“No!” I shouted. Maybe it was out loud, too, but I lunged forward anyway, scrambling for light. The dark shape skittered back, curling its tendrils on itself like a recoiling spider. I grasped a handful of light, barely enough, and flung it out. The shape retreated, drawing back with a hiss.
This time I took no chances. I pulled the souls as tight to me as I could, panting a little when pain exploded across my forehead. I had never done two at the same time before. Something throbbed in my physical body, painful enough that my astral self was reluctant to return, but there was no time.
I dropped, graceless and as quick as I could. I blinked, seeing double as I remained just barely in the higher plane. Jim and Shaina lay spread out before me. Blink. Their souls looked tiny in my glowing hands. Blink. People argued in rushed, angry voices. Blink.
Nausea rolled up my stomach, and I swallowed bile. I spread my hands over Jim’s blank face, tugging on the souls with as much gentle urgency as I could muster.
“You have to hurry,” I said gently and one of them bobbed up, brushing against my fingertips. I ushered it closer, nodding when it settled over Jim’s still chest. It spread out, encasing his whole body. I turned to Shaina before Jim had even stopped glowing.
“Here, here,” I urged and the soul drifted down. My throat closed, and I blinked again. Darkness edged closer in my astral vision, the shadows swirling back into looming, jagged shapes. Something touched me, and I jerked backwards.
“Leo!” I shouted, and then doubled over as pain flared up my back. Jim gasped for breath
. Shaina’s fingers twitched.
“Help them,” I managed to grit out when Leo dropped to his knees beside me. Hot fingers touched my face and I pulled away.
“He’s there,” I told Leo. “I have to go back.”
He opened his mouth, but I blinked again. My vision faded into shadow.
Higher this time. Higher than I was comfortable climbing. The familiar calm tried to settle over me and I fought against it. I had to stay alert, had to stay aware.
I felt Corvin hovering close, a little higher up. I didn't know how powerful he was. Hell, I didn't know how powerful I was. I had very little idea of what to do when I actually confronted him, except that I needed to stop him, whatever the cost. I couldn't let him make his way back. Fuck, was that even possible?
I figured that I would die tonight. The thought disturbed me much more than I thought it would. After all, there was no one waiting to bring me back. I would go into the nothingness and that would be it.
I gathered light to me, pulling every mote of it I could reach. The pressure on my eyes gave way and I groaned with relief.
Corvin laughed.
I stopped, and tightened my grip on my light ball. He was there, in front of me, but he didn't exist here as I did, with my semi-solid astral body. Corvin floated before me, in the shape of a soul, but looking like no soul that I had ever seen before. This thing was broken . . . a mass of semi-solid quivering. It looked oily, with tendrils of dark hair sprouting out of it, and as I watched, it inched closer, gliding towards me with sickening rolls. The horror of it made my stomach clench and heave. It was a soul, no doubt about it. But a poisoned one. It reached out for me, one glob of black goo separating from the main mass and stretching towards me. Corvin's laugh echoed in my ears.
“You shouldn’t have done this,” I said. My physical lips moved soundlessly.
The poisoned soul bobbed closer. “It’s beautiful up here.”
The words came light to my ears, like a dry whisper across an empty room. The soul shivered as it formed the words. I grieved for it, the lost and wretched thing.
“What was your name?” I asked. “Your real name.”
The soul pulsed, hesitating, and I thought it wouldn’t answer. Then, very softly, “Isaac. My mom called me Zack.”
“Zack,” I said gently. “We can fix this. I can fix this if you let me.”
Another shiver, one that conveyed interest. “You’ll help me then?”
“Yes,” I agreed. “I’ll help you. We can get you help-”
The soul flared and recoiled. “More treatment, you mean.” The voice rang in my ears, contemptuous and angry.
“No,” I backtracked quickly. Keeping Corvin’s soul in my line of sight, I moved slowly to one side, gathering more light into my already laden hands.
“Not like where your mom sent you,” I said, thinking quickly. “I mean, I’ll work with you, we can train together.”
The soul flared again, brighter this time, in a way that clearly conveyed interest. My ears rang in the sudden silence. Corvin’s astral voice seemed to pulse off his soul in vibrations; I could feel the words more than hear them, and their absence made my inner ears throb.
Embolden, I continued, “You can stay here. You don’t need to work with Jim and Marcus anymore. I’ll show you what I know. We can find another way.”
The soul twitched, the tiny hairs on it quivering. “Another way?” Corvin asked. “You mean something other than the spell?”
“Yeah,” I said. Somewhere far off, voices raised in argument. I thought I heard a pained cry, but I couldn’t risk dropping down. I couldn’t take my eyes off him for even a second.
“This is what you want, right?” I asked. “To ascend. To access the astral planes whenever you want.”
“To know the secrets of the spheres,” Corvin whispered. His soul flexed and tightened, like a closing fist. His disembodied voice sounded like crumbling, brittle paper. “Yes,” he said. “I want that. I want what you have.”
I hesitated, my mind scrambling for the right words. My astral hands squeezed the glowing ball of light. Was it enough?
“Then there has to be way to do it without hurting anyone,” I said. “There has to be.”
“You can do that then?” Corvin asked, suddenly conversational. His soul contracted further and my heart, somewhere down in my physical body, began to pound.
“Do what?” I asked cautiously.
“Ascend without blood,” Corvin scoffed. “Can you do it whenever you want?”
“I – “ I stopped, thinking hard. I had never tried. It had never occurred to me to try ascending without the goal of healing or returning a soul. I had never imagined that ascending for its own sake would be the point.
“You can’t either, can you?” Corvin said and to my surprise, there was sadness in his strange, light voice. Maybe I wasn’t hearing it. Maybe I was feeling it.
“You need blood to do it, too,” he continued. “Maybe you need much smaller doses, maybe even just a few drops, but you need it, too, don’t you?”
“No, I can heal –” but I cut myself off. Because I couldn’t remember ever healing without blood. I could fix Leo’s accidents, but there was always blood. Gunshots and car accidents and suicides. Always blood.
“No,” I insisted. “There was no blood when I brought you back. I’ve fixed drowning victims – there was no blood.”
“Don’t be so literal,” he snapped. “You need a sacrifice to ascend. You have to buy a ticket to ride the train, and the only difference between me and you is that yours is round trip.”
“That’s not – no,” I protested. “You’re wrong.”
“Am I?” The soul pulsed, slithering closer to me. “Then bring me back and we’ll find out. We can try together. You can help me.” Corvin’s soul stretched, its tendrils uncurling and reaching out.
“You can prove me wrong,” he whispered.
“It doesn’t even bother you?” I asked, moving back as the soul stopped in front of me, undulating gently in slow rolling waves. “You killed a teenage girl. You killed your friends.”
“For a purpose!” Corvin cried. His soul flared violently, the tendrils hardening into spikes. “Did you think I would just forget? After what you showed me – you brought me into nirvana and you thought I wouldn’t try to get back? That I would just be content with the life I had before? My mom put me in a mental institution!”
“I’m sorry,” I said frantically. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“You’re not sorry,” he snapped back. “You didn’t even remember me!”
“I’m sorry,” I said again. “But I can’t let you hurt people.”
He scoffed. The sound grated on my ears. “Who cares about them? They don’t know anything. You know. And I know. But them – they don’t care. Jim forbade me from practicing! They don’t want to know!”
“That doesn’t give you the right to use them,” I snarled.
“We’re better than them,” he insisted. “And I’m not going to stop. I’ll show you. I’ll make you see.”
“I’ll stop you,” I said. “You know I will.”
“You stupid, fucking hick,” Corvin hissed. His soul reared back like a snake. It oozed greasy liquid from its pock-mocked underbelly. My eyes widened in disgust and horror.
“You’re too stupid to see the gift you have,” he spat at me. “Too fucking stupid to even appreciate –”
“Fuck you,” I said, and flung out the handful of light I held. It burst out before me in a shower of sparks and rained down upon Corvin's soul. As I watched, each tiny light burned into the oily mass, giving out foul smelling smoke.
The soul twisted, and Corvin's laugh turned to screams. I threw out my arms and scraped for more lights. There wasn’t enough, though, not enough by half, and I didn’t dare let him out of my sight by dropping any lower. The few handfuls I managed to pull in were small as dust.
The blackened shape in front of me quivered, flattening and resh
aping itself. The hairs on it spiked out, like hackles rising. My heart sank. I was operating entirely on instinct, and had no other plan, nothing to fall back on. Without thinking about it, I just reached out - somehow, I don't know how - with my own mind and just threw everything I had at him.
I was met with the force of brick wall, and pain exploded across the front of my face, as though I had been struck. Somewhere distantly, I was aware of my physical hands rising to my face, and that they were slick with blood. Was I being attacked back there, too? I spared a tiny bit of my mind to worry, but it was too far away, and any thoughts slipped away before they grew concrete. What happened if my body died while I was up here?
No time. Corvin’s soul moved again, plumping itself back into a ball. I divined his intent right before he flung himself at me, and managed to throw myself sideways. At the same instance, agony cracked along my left side, and spread out along my ribs and back. The pain pulled me down again, and I opened my eyes. I was back in the store, just temporarily, and right before I flew back up, I saw Marcus grappling with Morgan, and Leo's face, contorted in a snarl.
Injured, I couldn't move as fast as I wanted, and I had to struggle upwards, climbing sluggishly up into the spheres. Along the way, though, as I rose upwards, I noticed the light catching on me, clinging to my legs and arms. Of course. The light was everywhere down lower. I just had to bring it up with me.
I slowed, grasping with as much force as I could until I was laden with light, covered with it front head to toe. I burst finally onto the higher plane, and Corvin was there waiting for me.
“It doesn’t have to be this way,” he said, but his astral voiced sounded winded. Weaker. “You can bring them back. I don’t see the problem. Think of what we could do together.”
“No,” I said. “I’m not like you. I’m not a killer.”
“If you want that to be true,” he said and his soul shivered. “Then you have to bring me back.”
