‘Now, slide your hand down until you aren’t holding the baby’s head, but supporting baby’s back, just under the neck. Look at baby’s drinking position now.’
Jacinta looked down at the green helmet sitting at her breast and looked up just in time to see her father killing himself trying not to laugh. She gave him a grudging smile. It was pretty funny. He had the Jesse doll.
She looked back to where Noni moved around the circle of people, checking and realigning any positions until she was satisfied. She smiled at Jacinta.
‘Buzz looks perfect.’
‘Pretty good name for a boy, too,’ she said straight-faced and watched Noni put on her bland midwife’s face and agree that Buzz was a lovely name. But her eyes did twinkle. Jacinta grinned at her. It was very easy being around Noni.
Noni didn’t go to her father. He put up his hand and Jacinta felt like lifting Buzz to cover her eyes so she couldn’t see.
‘My baby won’t suck.’ His voice held mock sadness.
Jacinta shook her head and sighed, but the other men in the class were egging him on with mock sympathy. ‘Ask the midwife. She’ll help.’ Everyone smiled.
Noni got that look in her eyes. Iain was going to pay and Jacinta couldn’t wait. Noni wouldn’t shirk the challenge and Jacinta found herself smiling along with everyone else.
‘Come here, Mother,’ Noni said as she flipped open the top two buttons of Iain’s shirt and slid her hand inside against his chest. Jacinta felt her father tense in the chair next to her. Noni said, ‘You have to let baby get at you. Don’t be shy. How’s that?’
Iain’s ears actually went red. Jacinta jammed her lips together, but her cheeks ached from holding back the grin. The class egged Noni on. ‘His nipples are too small,’ one of the fathers called out.
She saw her dad look up into Noni’s face and wink. She was blushing too. Serves them both right.
Noni moved on smoothly. Jacinta slanted her glance sideways to her father and saw him looking mesmerised. Spare me, she thought. She suspected Iain wasn’t listening, just watching, as Noni slowed and became absorbed in what she was saying.
Jacinta felt her own cheeks heat. Noni’s hand pointed to her breast, circling it as she explained something, and even pushed the fabric of her shirt right in to demonstrate what an inverted nipple was.
A whistle hissed in beside her and she glanced at Iain. Was he actually holding his breath? Noni cupped her breast in one hand, rounding it up as if offering it to a baby. Iain shifted in his seat.
That was when Jacinta wondered if he might actually be smitten and not just playing with Noni. That would cause problems because Jacinta couldn’t see Noni moving to that big chrome flat of his in Sydney.
‘Iain?’ Jacinta whispered. He didn’t hear her. She tried again. ‘Dad.’ Jacinta said it one more time. A little louder.
‘Sorry, did you say something?’ Then his face changed. Looked stupidly happy. ‘You called me Dad!’ He grinned at her. ‘It sounded good, too.’ He leaned over and squeezed her hand. ‘Did you want me for something?’
‘I said, could you get me one of those microwave sterilisers for the bottles? I’m not going to breastfeed.’
He blinked and opened and shut his mouth. She saw the effort it took him. What? No way was she doing that. It wasn’t him showing his boobs to the whole world.
‘How about we talk about it when we get back to Noni’s?’ he whispered back.
Jacinta raised her eyebrows at his inability to answer the simple question. She’d buy her own steriliser as soon as she figured out how to get money.
At least he wasn’t looking at Noni, any more. He was staring at the floor and she got the feeling he suddenly realised that at the end of the pregnancy there really would be a baby – a helpless being that had to have decisions made for it. Had to be looked after. Had to be fed. Well, they were her decisions to make – it was her baby, not his!
When they all arrived home he didn’t get out of the car. All of them had travelled together this week as he’d finally said he preferred Noni not to be left on her own to lock up and for some reason, she’d agreed.
‘Can you go ahead, please, Jacinta? I want to ask Noni something.’
She gave him a give-me-a-break look. ‘Yeah, right. Does she need another hug?’ But she still went.
Chapter Thirty-two
Noni
Noni sat in the car as Jacinta waddled away and wondered if Iain really did want to give her another hug. Trying that in the car would be awkward. But he didn’t move. Or speak.
While she waited for him to tell her why he’d wanted to see her privately, she thought about all the things she needed to do. Eventually, she ran out of items on her list.
‘Well? What did you want to ask me?’ Noni nudged him in the darkness.
‘Something. I just need a minute.’ It was so dark in the car she could barely make him out. It really made her listen to the way he spoke. It was deep, melodic and incredibly sexy. And the tension that was stretching the space between them had nothing to do with his daughter. Noni’s pulse rate sped and she could feel the dryness of her mouth. She wanted to lean her head against his big, broad chest – or just turn her whole body and crawl into his lap. Again, technically awkward. What the heck was happening to her and was this what he’d planned? Or was it just an accidental explosion of lust between them?
Suddenly, he leaned and captured her face with one hand to stare intensely at her. She heard him breathe in deeply as if breathing in the scent of her. Then, his voice low and gravelly, as if he were stretched tight with tension, he said, ‘You were incredible tonight. I loved watching you move. Listening to your voice. That was why I couldn’t talk to you on the phone from Sydney. Your voice drives me crazy. Hearing you makes me ache. And those soft, husky noises you made when we kissed in the kitchen, I can’t get them out of my mind.’
Noni’s belly came alive with spirals of sensation and her skin flushed. Heat flooded her limbs. Whoa there. She licked her lips and tried to sound flippant. Tried to be the sensible parent and not the randy teen in that car in the dark. ‘You’re saying I turn on my antenatal class?’
‘Hmm?’
‘Hello, Iain? Is anybody home except hormones, or was Jacinta right and you want to give me a hug?’
His hand slid down her cheek and he breathed out as he sat back. He breathed out again as if forcing the fog from his brain. ‘Right. You’re right. This isn’t the place.’ He sat up straighter and gripped the steering wheel as if grounding himself. ‘Breastfeeding,’ Iain said, and Noni blinked uncomprehendingly. ‘Jacinta wants to bottle-feed,’ he explained.
It was Noni’s turn to sit back. So, he didn’t want to give her a hug. Fine. She frowned and thought about his statement. ‘So, she doesn’t breastfeed. What’s the problem?’
He actually gasped. ‘A baby needs the best care and nutrition. That means breastfeeding – but Jacinta said she wasn’t going to breastfeed. Tonight. She asked me for a sterilising set for bottle-feeding.’
Horrified is us, Noni thought dryly.
Iain warmed to his theme. ‘This is my grandchild here – a child that should be breastfed. “Breast is Best” and all that. You’re a midwife. How can you say any differently?’
‘As a midwife, of course I advocate breastfeeding. As a mother, I breastfed Harley, but as a friend of Jacinta’s I support her decision. She’s the one that has to do it.’ She peered at him again, trying to see the expression on his face.
‘I don’t believe this!’
Noni realised he’d lost the plot in a whole new way.
‘Breastmilk helps babies’ immune systems, has essential components to encourage brain development and prevents sensitivity to allergies. Why wouldn’t I want that for my grandchild? I want you to talk her into breastfeeding.’
She could hear the lack of reason in his voice and it unsettled her. This was a side of him she hadn’t seen.
‘Excuse me? This child may be your grandchild,
but it’s Jacinta’s baby. I’ll listen to her reasons for choosing not to breastfeed and, as I’ve said, I’ll support her in her decision.’ She stated the fact. ‘You’re losing it here. I’m not going to talk her into anything she doesn’t want to do.’
‘I’m losing reality? As a doctor I encourage breastfeeding for health reasons, but this is my grandchild!’ His voice vibrated with suppressed frustration. ‘I ask you to do a simple little thing for me and you won’t.’ He opened the car door and climbed out. ‘Forget it. I’ll tell her myself.’
Noni sat in the car on her own and sighed. He would blow it! Jacinta had just started to call him Dad, too. She should get out and try to stop him. Explain her reasons and try to get him to see Jacinta’s point of view.
She didn’t. His arrogance was an eye-opener. She wouldn’t have believed he was so narrow-minded and authoritarian. It was better to find out now, she supposed, but it made her sad. Or maybe he’d just gone temporarily insane. That was his best hope for survival.
She almost smiled at another thought: Jacinta had enough of her father in her to fight her own battles. Noni got out of the car and went in the back door through the kitchen to Aunt Win.
Her aunt’s face lit up as Noni came in the door and her arms opened. Noni felt the tension drain away. Thank you, Aunt Win. She stretched up and kissed her aunt on the cheek. Her soft face felt warm and comforting against her own. Like burying her nose in a bouquet of rose petals.
‘Hello, Noni, love.’ After their embrace, she stepped back to look properly at her and pursed her lips. ‘How was your class?’
‘Class was fine. It’s Iain who’s being a pain.’ She lifted the lid of the biscuit barrel and snaffled a still-warm, incredibly aromatic Anzac biscuit. Noni slowly savoured the syrupy oat-and-coconut taste as it saturated her mouth, discovered herself briefly in heaven then swallowed, before talking again. ‘Jacinta wants to bottle-feed and Iain doesn’t think that’s good enough for his grandchild.’
Aunt Win didn’t say anything as Noni finished her biscuit, and pretending her aunt couldn’t see her, Noni reached for another one. Once, she’d eaten the whole jar of biscuits at one sitting after a bad day when she’d been pregnant – Win had just watched her then as well. She must have seen the need, like now. It was funny how she’d never wanted to eat that many again. That episode encapsulated Aunt Win’s method of support.
Win shrugged. ‘So, why doesn’t Jacinta want to breastfeed?’
Noni shook her head. ‘I don’t know. I haven’t had a chance to ask her. Iain doesn’t seem to think she has a choice. That’s offensive. We all know breastfeeding is the ideal food for babies, but the baby is Jacinta’s, not his. She has to make her own choices. You never did that to me.’
Chapter Thirty-three
Win
‘As if it would have done me any good.’ Win looked at her diminutive niece and snorted. Elegant women didn’t snort, which was fine, elegance was for people like Greg’s departed wife. Overrated. It was a very satisfying noise, she’d always thought.
She could see Noni ponder. What had she said?
‘No. If you didn’t agree with something I’d chosen to do, you pointed out the options so I was informed, then respected the fact that it was my choice. I have never felt threatened that you wouldn’t love me if I didn’t do what you wanted or thought best.’
Win hoped that had been what she’d done. It was what she’d intended. Noni had been an extremely easy niece to love.
‘You’re pretty wonderful, you know,’ Noni said as she rested her hand on Win’s shoulder and Win lifted her hand to pat the cool fingers. She’d always felt blessed to have Noni as her niece.
Then Noni said, ‘I hope I can remember all this when things get sticky between Harley and me.’
‘You will.’ Win felt her throat close a little. ‘You’re an amazing mum.’
‘And you are an amazing aunt. Thank you for that. I think I’ll give the others the slip and go to bed. Will you let them know if they ask, please?’
‘Sure, love.’ Win watched her go. Her usually bright, bouncy niece was a little bowed. Drooped with the doldrums. Noni shouldn’t have worries. She worked too hard. Gave too much. She deserved to be appreciated.
She also suspected her niece felt confused by her mixed feelings about their male lodger and that was a whole new ball game for Noni. She’d put up a force field against men since Harley had been born and this was the first crack in that shield Win had seen in the last five years.
Still, who was she to talk about force fields? She’d flirted her way through the last twenty years in her sixties-child persona, but there’d been a wall around her, too. And now she had a man knocking on her barriers as well. She wasn’t quite sure what she was going to do about that.
Her dinner date with Greg had been cancelled again and he was on call Saturday night so couldn’t come to the group weekend. She suspected he was relieved. But now she had the feeling she wouldn’t have as much fun if he wasn’t there. After one week. Maybe she had grown out of being daring. Found something, or someone, she’d rather spend time with.
She suspected Sunday would be the day. They were doing dinner, not lunch. It should be an easy decision. The man whose company she enjoyed above all others wanted to marry her. Had said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. That was huge.
But it was the minor things that bothered her.
Where would they live? She had no desire to move into his house and she couldn’t imagine him here. This was Noni’s home and she wasn’t selling the guesthouse.
She’d been totally unsuitable for Greg years ago, and had felt she was not what a doctor’s wife needed to be, but soon Greg wouldn’t be a doctor any more. She hadn’t thought much on that. Maybe she’d better.
Greg said he loved her nurturing nature, and he deserved some warmth after living in the cold for so long. And he wanted to marry her. Of course they deserved a future together.
But Noni needed her. She would be devastated when Iain McCloud went back to his kingdom in Sydney, and of course Noni couldn’t manage the guesthouse on her own.
Yet the other side of the coin was she’d miss Greg if he went off on his travels, or fell for another Margarete. She’d be devastated actually.
So Sunday promised to be the day for decisions. She needed to find something to wear, something she loved that proclaimed who she was, so he knew what he was letting himself in for.
Chapter Thirty-four
Jacinta
Jacinta heard her father follow her up the stairs. She went to her door and raised her brows in question. He looked like he was on a mission. Here we go.
‘Jaz. Can I talk to you?’
She looked at him: serious face, cajoling eyes. She was not one of those bimbo waitresses. Spare me. ‘Is this about breastfeeding?’
She watched him wince at her tone. Oh yeah, he was so having himself on. She narrowed her eyes at him. ‘I’m not changing my mind. I’m not flipping my boobs out for everyone to see. I hate the thought.’
He spread his hands. ‘Can we talk about it?’
She shrugged. ‘You can talk about it.’
‘I think you should wait until your baby is born to make the decision to bottle-feed. It might not be what you want to do and then it will be too late once the baby has the bottle. I really think you should breastfeed your baby and see how it goes.’
Was this guy for real? ‘Um, no. Drop dead. I don’t have to explain my reasons and if you’re so keen on ‘breast is best’, get yourself a pump and you feed the baby.’
She stepped through into her room and shut the door. What a wanker. She flopped onto the bed.
Chapter Thirty-five
Noni
Noni showered, changed into her satin pyjamas and lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling in the semi-darkness. She could just see the luminous stars she’d stuck there in the form of Southern Hemisphere constellations. It had taken her hours, neck bent while standing on th
e ladder, to stick them up. Aunt Win had stood underneath, astronomy book in her hand, directing the positions. Whenever she had really weighty matters to think over, she found that staring up at those stars calmed her mind. So why wasn’t she calm?
Iain was really getting to her. When he’d arrived she’d known he spelled trouble, with his big, broad shoulders and his ability to draw the attention of everyone in the room as if it were his right. She hadn’t met a lot of people with that sort of authority so it had been outside her frame of reference. Funny, she’d never put his ability to command attention down to their age difference. She had the feeling Iain would be Iain even if he were her age. Exciting. Charismatic. He’d resided under her roof charming her aunt and her son, as well as her. Why hadn’t she been more careful? She should have known he would turn out to be a huge egomaniac who would only complicate her life.
Yet, at times they seemed to be incredibly in sync – she refused to say they were soul mates – but their minds did often run parallel and their sense of humour matched bizarrely. And the kicker was, last weekend’s passion in the kitchen had blown her away, and made her want more.
The arousal she’d experienced tonight in the middle of her antenatal class had shocked her, too. She’d touched men’s chests before and felt their hearts beat under her hand. She certainly hadn’t wanted to rip off their shirts and run her hands all over them like she’d wanted to tonight. In front of a room full of people.
She’d seen the challenge in his eyes … and run to it. She could remember very clearly saying, ‘Come here, Mother.’ Could remember the feel of flipping open the top two buttons of his shirt to slide her hand against his chest. His hot, solid, incredible expanse of chest. She’d even said, ‘Don’t be shy. How’s that?’
Her ears burned as she thought about it. Insanity. And the class had been egging her on. Soooo unprofessional.
She imagined again the catch of his breath as she brushed his nipple, the sudden tautness of skin beneath her fingers and the infinitesimal shift of his butt on the chair for comfort. Oh yeah. She knew what had been going on and she’d pushed him right to the edge when he couldn’t get back at her. Dangerous stuff, Noni. Now, she’d run to her room to hide because she knew she’d be at risk of retribution and she was a coward.
Mothers' Day Page 17
