by Sam Mariano
As she watched him push buttons on the remote to start whatever movie they were going to watch, Willow ached to climb right into his lap and kiss him. He was wearing a navy blue button down shirt with black slacks, and she wanted to slip each button through the appropriate hole and violently rip the damn thing off him, even knowing he probably had a cursed undershirt beneath it that she would have to contend with. She wanted him naked, his mouth on hers, their bodies as closely intertwined as two people could be.
She knew he wanted that too, but she wasn’t sure he wanted anything else. She knew he cared about her, but she wasn’t at all sure he actually wanted to date her.
He just didn’t want her to date anyone else.
Which was understandable, since she would be well and truly crushed if she found out he was dating someone else.
Then again, his reaction to Amanda’s friend seeing them out together earlier certainly gave her hope.
Maybe he was coming around to the idea of them having a real relationship.
She tried to stop thinking about it and focus on the movie once it started. Their hands were no longer entwined, but Willow still sat next to Ethan, her legs curled up behind her, pushing her to lean against him. Toeing the line of propriety, their shoulders touched and occasionally Willow dipped her head to rest on his shoulder, but Ethan kept his hands in his lap instead of wrapping an arm around her.
The movie wasn’t bad or anything, but Willow kept zoning out anyway. Occasionally guilt would wallop her, reminding her of Brian—not to mention her own determination not to be unfaithful in any of her relationships—and the decidedly shaky ground she was on. A different kind of guilt hit when her first thought following “Maybe I should break up with him” was, “But then how would I get to spend this time with Ethan?”
Ethan chuckled at something that happened on-screen and Willow pulled her focus back to the television, but couldn’t seem to keep it there.
“I think I need to break up with Brian.”
Ethan’s lips twitched up at the corners, and she wasn’t sure whether to be exasperated or charmed. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?” he asked.
Turning to look at him pointedly, she gave him a dry look. “Really?”
His smile widened, making her heart melt just a little. “I’m kidding. If that’s what you want to do, I support that decision.”
“Oh, do you?” she teased, rolling her eyes.
“Yeah,” he affirmed, wrapping his arm around her and squeezing her briefly before releasing her and returning to their previous, pretend-platonic pose.
Willow smiled, shaking her head.
Then he gave voice to some of her concerns. “You think you’ll still be able to get out of the house without tipping off Lauren and Ashlynn?”
Dropping the smile, she said, “I don’t know. I mean, I will, I’m just not sure how. I’ll figure it out.”
He nodded, not looking at the television, but also not looking at her.
Since she had already started the ball rolling, she added, “If I do that…” Since she wasn’t sure quite how to word it, she let her hand drift across his thigh, dipping inward and caressing him through his pants. His body stiffened and his arousal sprang to life under her hand, causing pleasure to unfurl low in her stomach and a little smile to tug at her lips.
Placing his hand over hers, he pressed her hand against him more firmly. “I want you, Willow. You know that.”
Her smile grew—took over her whole face. She moved her hand though, since she didn’t want to fully cross the line. “Okay.”
Ethan shifted a little uncomfortably and she offered a wry smile.
“Sorry,” she offered.
He merely looked at her, his gaze warm and tinged with lust. “When would you be having this conversation?”
Willow sighed and crawled across the couch, grabbing her phone out of her purse and settling into her corner to tap out a quick text. “Tonight, preferably. I have to see when he’ll be home. I’ll have to go before the party. I can’t dump him at his own party.”
“Another party?”
“Every weekend,” she said, smiling absently. “They’re not real parties, just… you know, come over and get drunk parties.”
Remembering his own first year of college, he nodded. “Sounds about right.” He watched her text, and when she glanced up to catch him, she thought he looked a little anxious.
“What are you thinking over there?” she asked.
He hesitated a moment before responding. “I… don’t want to piss you off. But I also want to make sure you’re not just dumping this guy for me.”
Shaking her head as she sent another text, she replied, “I’m not dumping him for you. It’s purely selfish, I assure you. I don’t want to cheat on him, but I want you to fuck me senseless; I can’t have both, so I made a choice.”
“Jesus Christ, Willow,” he said, rolling his head back against the couch and shifting his weight again.
She smiled unapologetically.
“Can you dump him via text? Would that be appropriate? I feel like it would.”
Laughing lightly, she said, “No, I can’t do that. He’s on his way home though, so… I should probably go.”
“Must you?”
“The sooner I leave, the sooner I’ll be back,” she pointed out.
That surprised him. “Will you be able to come back over after?”
Nodding slightly, she said, “I think so. I’m going to ask him not to make any changes publicly until tomorrow in case my parents are online.”
Both of his dark eyebrows shot halfway up his forehead. “You’re going to… Won’t he wonder why?”
“No,” she said levelly. “He won’t have to; I’m going to tell him.”
Pushing himself forward, he stared at her like she was half crazy. “You’re going to tell him… you need him to cover for you so you can go sleep with someone else?”
“Well, I won’t be that specific, but I’m going to tell him about you, yes. I’m not going to be dishonest.” Since he still looked baffled, she shook her head. “You don’t know Brian. He’s pretty chill. Unless I’m completely misjudging him, I think he’ll take the news all right, and if I explain the situation, I’m hoping he can refrain from publicly ending our relationship for 12 hours or so. Frankly, even if I’m wrong I’ll be back over, I just won’t be able to stay the night.”
“You’re staying the night?”
Glancing up at him, she said, “If you want me to.”
“Of course,” he replied. “I just didn’t think that was an option.”
Willow shrugged. “I’ll tell my parents I’m staying at Brian’s.”
He nodded, though he looked decidedly less pleased as he murmured, “Right.”
Willow smiled to herself, tapping out one more text before sliding her phone into her purse. Moving back to the spot next to Ethan, she leaned in, snaking her arms around his neck. “Next time you see me, I’ll be all yours.”
His hands moved to her waist and he pulled her into his lap, closed his eyes, then opened them back up. “Now?”
Biting back a grin, she shook her head. “Soon.”
“Not soon enough,” he murmured, his hand moving restlessly across her thigh.
Placing her hand over his to keep it from wandering too far, she said, “But when I get back, we have the rest of the night.”
“Seems like a fair deal. I’ll have to run to the store. Any special requests for breakfast?”
“You’re going to make me breakfast?” she asked with a little grin.
“Of course.”
“As long as there’s grape jelly for my toast, I’m a happy camper.”
“Gotcha. I do have that. Anything else?”
“Wine and roses?” she joked. “Candles—at least a hundred. Lots and lots of condoms, just to be safe.”
“Hundreds of condoms, got it,” he replied with a grin that made her heart flop over in her chest.
Reluctantly rolling off of h
is lap and standing in front of him, she said, “I have to go.”
He stood, mere inches from her since they were wedged between the couch and the coffee table. He didn’t normally stand quite so close, but with so little space between them and even less space behind her to move away from him, he seemed taller, more imposing. Fucking sexy. She was thankful he didn’t put his hands on her just then, because she had the strongest urge to grab onto those powerful shoulders of his, wrap her legs around his waist, and kiss him until she forgot why she shouldn’t.
“So fast. I’m going to break all the traffic laws,” she promised.
A sensual little smile pulled at his lips and his eyes warmed as he brought his hand to her face, lightly dragging his fingers along her jaw. “Don’t do that. I want you back here in one piece.”
Breaking his gaze, she said wryly, “You need to move, because I can’t.”
Instead he lightly brushed a thumb over her lips. Willow closed her eyes, sighing with her whole body and dipping so close to him she nearly brushed his chest.
“All right,” he finally said, softly.
Forcing her eyes open, she watched him step aside. Just to be safe, she stepped in the opposite direction. Ethan followed her to the door, and with one last smile, brimming with promise, she winked at him and slipped out the door.
Leaning against it with a sigh, he wondered what the hell they were getting themselves into.
“So, what’s up?”
Willow sat on the edge of the couch, fingering the hem of her flowy white mini-skirt. Even though she really did think he would take the news in stride, she hated dealing with break-ups—particularly when she had to break up with someone and then ask for a favor. Frankly, it was unprecedented.
“I just needed to talk to you.”
Nodding as he took a seat beside her, he replied, “You said that already.”
It irritated her that she couldn’t make herself look at him for more than a second. Normally she was so much cooler about break-ups.
“You know the friend I’ve been—well, no, you don’t, because I haven’t mentioned his name specifically. Um, okay, I was involved with someone last year that I wasn’t ready to let go of. We never got closure, the relationship was cut short, and I didn’t know if I would ever see him again.”
“Okay,” Brian said, eyeing her watchfully.
“Just recently I’ve started seeing him again—as a friend. Just a friend. But… my feelings for him didn’t go anywhere. They’re still there, I still have them… and I really, really like you…”
Nodding slowly, a tiny knowing smile curved his lips. “But not as much as you like him.”
Willow nodded hesitantly, watching him for a reaction.
He seemed calm. “So this is you breaking up with me?”
“Very badly, but… yes,” she verified.
“All right,” he said carefully.
“I didn’t cheat on you,” she added. “I didn’t even think he would be… if I would’ve thought there was even a chance he’d still be into me now, I wouldn’t have even started this. I’m really sorry.”
“I get it,” he said easily. “No offense, but I do have someone from my past that I would’ve dropped you like a hot potato for, too. It would never happen, but… I get it.”
Thankful for his smile, she huffed a little sigh of relief. “Thank you for being so cool about this.”
Shrugging one shoulder, he said, “I want you to be happy. If he makes you happy… well, there it is.”
“You’re amazing. Really, truly.” Taking a little breath, she said, “In light of your amazingness, do you think you could possibly—and I know I’m an asshole for even asking, but—just… maybe you could hold off until tomorrow to publicly proclaim your newfound singleness on social media?”
His easygoing smile dropped and his brows furrowed. “Why?”
“Well, I mean, it’s not like you live on social media anyway, right? It’s just that… my mom follows you, and I know you’ll probably want to change that too, but…” She stopped, trying and failing to come up with a simple, uninformative way of explaining. “She can’t know about him.”
The furrowing of his brow deepened. “Why?”
“My parents are sort of the reason we broke up. They don’t like him. They took away my phone and car to keep me from seeing him. Once they see we’re broken up, they’ll know I’m not with you; I don’t want them to get suspicious. I can’t lie and say I’m working because I won’t make money to back it up, plus, God forbid, what if they called me at work one night and I wasn’t there? I haven’t figured out how to do this yet.”
“What’s wrong with this guy?”
“What?” She frowned.
“Your parents don’t strike me as unreasonable people; they’ve never had a problem with me and they don’t seem super clingy. Why would they go batshit crazy about you seeing this guy?”
Shifting uncomfortably, Willow averted her gaze away from him and sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“Well… I gotta be honest; I won’t cover for you if you’re going to see some dangerous asshole.”
“He’s not dangerous, it’s nothing like that. It’s… He’s older.”
“How much older?”
“A decade or so.” She shrugged. “He’s also—he was married when we were involved before,” she added a little reluctantly, but knowing he needed more than an age difference to understand.
Nodding once, he said, “Ah. I see.”
“It’s not what you’re imagining. He’s not a sleaze, I wasn’t some girl on the side—he didn’t lie to me or leave her for me or any cheap thing like that. It’s not the way you’re thinking. It was complicated.”
“It always is,” he remarked.
“Remember I told you I had a complicated senior year? Well, that was part of it.”
Brian leaned forward on his legs, steepling his fingers in thought. “I need to process for a second.”
Willow nodded vigorously and shifted, angling her knees toward him and waiting, relieved he was being receptive.
After a minute, he sat up and turned back toward her. “I have questions.”
“I’m all ears.”
“He’s divorced now?” he began, nodding as if to encourage her to verify that.
“He’s separated—not divorced quite yet, but… he’s moved out and everything.”
“And he treats you good?”
“Yes,” she replied confidently.
Brian nodded his head, still looking pensive. “Does he work? Does he have kids? Does he keep a pitchfork by the side of the bed?”
Cracking a smile, she answered, “Yes, he’s a private investigator. He has three kids, and he adores them. And unless he’s gotten kinkier since we went out, he does not keep a pitchfork beside his bed.”
“All right,” he said slowly. “He knows he’s a secret this time, right?” When she nodded, he continued, “All right, here’s what I’m gonna do. I don’t know this guy, I don’t know what his deal is, and I have a feeling you would tell me he was Jesus if you thought it would get me to cooperate. I don’t like any of that, mostly because that’s not the Willow I know, but I’ll trust your judgment for now. Thing is, I don’t want this guy thinking he has any power over you. I assume he knows you’re here having this conversation?”
Willow nodded again.
“Make sure he knows I’m not pissed about it. No sour grapes here. Make sure he knows, not only are we cool, but I’m only a phone call away.”
“He’s not abusive,” she said with a light frown. “I don’t need an escape plan.”
“Yeah, well.” By the look on his face, he didn’t entirely believe her. “I don’t like it.”
Willow rolled her eyes. “You’re not supposed to like it. Ten minutes ago we were a couple; if you liked the thought of me with someone else—”
“Nah, it’s not about that, Willow. He’s older, you know? He has more experience than you do. I don’t want to see
you get hurt—physically or emotionally. I don’t want to see you get used, and I feel like maybe you’re not looking at things clearly because of your feelings for him.”
“I’m not—”
“How old is he? Do you not know?”
Pursing her lips and glaring at the wall, she sighed before answering, “He’s 32. Actually, probably 33 now.”
“And you’re 18.”
“Almost 19,” she objected.
“Right. Well. I’m just saying, based on my experience, 33-year-old men with families don’t make great boyfriends for gorgeous 18-year-olds. That’s the situation as I see it. You know me, I’m not gonna sit here and judge you, I just want to make sure you know you do have someone to turn to if you need anything. I don’t want you to drop out of my life now—we’re still friends, right? Like you guys were friends,” he said, smirking lightly.
Willow rolled her eyes, but her face warmed in response. “Of course we’re still friends.”
“And if he has a problem with that, he can take it up with me,” Brian stated.
“What are you going to do, challenge him to a game of beer pong?” she joked.
He slanted her an unconvincing look of censure.
Willow smiled. “He won’t have a problem—well, it doesn’t matter. He gets a little jealous, but he isn’t controlling. It won’t be an issue.”
Brian nodded. “Good. Then here’s what I can do for you. For the time being, subject to change in the distant future if I meet someone cool enough to be my new girlfriend, I won’t publicly end our relationship at all.”
Frowning in confusion, Willow asked, “What do you mean?”
“I’ll be your beard,” he told her, smiling ironically. “You don’t have to tell your parents we broke up, I’ll leave our relationship status as-is; when you’re over here, we’ll take the occasional selfie to keep up appearances. As far as your parents can tell, we’ll still be a couple. In fact,” he added, leaning toward her and pulling out his phone, “let’s do that now.”
