by SJ McCoy
He stood there looking ashamed of himself. “I just shouldn’t.”
“Because you don’t want to screw me?”
“Because I don’t want to just screw you.” He sounded angry.
She lowered her arm and looked into his eyes. “So, what do you want?”
“I told you. I want to be more than your friend, Lily. I want to be with you, spend time with you.” There was no mistaking the desire in his eyes as he looked her over. She felt her nipples tighten as his gaze lingered on her breasts, making her straighten her top. “I want to do more than just screw you.” Her hopes were building back up with every word he spoke, until he said, “But I don’t know how. All I know how to do is have a good time and then leave.”
She nodded. She couldn’t expect him to be anything other than what he was. “So, why don’t we?” Had she really said that?
The way Nate’s eyes widened, it seemed she must have. He thought about it for a long moment. “Because what would happen then? We could do this.” His hand slid down and cupped his still obvious erection for a moment. “And believe me, I want to. But then what? What will you think after I leave? What will it be like when we see each other tomorrow? What will happen to our friendship—you’re the one who said it, and it’s true. We don’t want to do anything to ruin that, Lily. You mean too much to me.”
Lily got to her feet. She couldn’t believe she was doing it, but she went to him and put her hands on his shoulders. “After you leave, I’ll think that you were right and that we shouldn’t have. But right now, Nate, I don’t care. I want you.” She slid her hand inside his pants and closed her fingers around him. “We’ll have to promise each other that it won’t affect our friendship, but right now, I want you, and you want me.” She slid her hand up and down the length of him and loved the way he closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. “You can’t tell me you don’t.” He shook his head slowly. She let go of him and pushed open the bedroom door. “I promise you; I’ll still be your friend in the morning.” She looked up into his eyes and waited.
She could see the struggle on his face, and for a moment she thought his better judgment might win, but then he smiled. It was his sexy smile, and she knew. “You shouldn’t promise that yet.”
“Oh, no?” She smiled back. She felt lighter now, filled with excitement. “Why’s that?”
He closed his arms around her waist and started walking her backward into the bedroom. “Because you don’t know what I’m going to do to you yet.”
~ ~ ~
She was so goddamned beautiful. She looked afraid and aroused all at the same time. He’d given her fair warning, and he’d tried to back out. Nate didn’t know what had come over him back there on the sofa. She’d been saying something about not wanting to spoil their friendship, but all he’d been able to see were her moist pink lips moving, taunting him, begging him to taste them, to kiss them, and he had. He’d come to his senses and tried to make an exit, but she’d told him she wanted him. She’d blown him away with that! She’d also told him that he wanted her, but that wasn’t news, he’d known that for months.
Now she stood before him, her eyes bright and her cheeks flushed. He kept his arms closed around her as he walked her back into her bedroom. She stopped when her legs hit the bed, but he kept moving forward so she fell back and he went with her. He was careful not to land his weight on her, but he deliberately pinned her beneath him. Her arms came up around his neck, and he had to taste her lips again. She moaned into his mouth as he slid his hand down inside her pants. She hadn’t lied that she wanted him; she was hot and wet. He moved his finger over her entrance, making her gasp and making his cock ache to be inside her.
He made short work of getting her naked. She scrabbled at his zipper and pushed his shirt up, but Nate was focused on her. She sat up, trying to get him out of his clothes, but he sat back and let out a low whistle. “Damn, Lily. You’re beautiful.” Her full, round breasts beckoned him in the moonlight that shone through the small window. Her nipples begged for his mouth on them, and he couldn’t refuse. He closed his hands around her waist and held her in place as he dropped his head to taste them.
She put her hands out behind her for support and threw her head back, moaning softly as he sucked and nipped first one breast, then the other. “Oh, God, Nate!”
“Oh, yeah, baby.” She was driving him wild. He finished what she’d started and got rid of his shirt and pants as fast as he could, then returned his attention to her breasts. She tried to support herself on her outstretched hands, but he pushed her down until she was on her back, looking up into his eyes.
He trailed his hand over her stomach, then walked his fingers down between her legs. Her eyes widened, but she didn’t look away from his gaze as he began to stroke her. She took him by surprise and made him gasp when her small hand closed around him and began to move up and down the length of him. “Lily,” he breathed. He wasn’t going to be able to take much more of this. He needed to be inside her. He shifted his weight onto her, spreading her thighs with his knees. He hated that her hand let go of his cock, but it was a momentary loss. He rocked his hips against hers and held her gaze. “Are you sure?” He didn’t know why he asked. He didn’t know how he’d be able to stop now if she said no, but she had to tell him it was okay. She did. She nodded eagerly and her hands came up to grab his ass.
He thrust his hips and buried himself deep inside her, making them both moan. Her hips bucked wildly under him, and she wrapped her legs around his. Something about the feel of her little feet resting on his calves as she opened herself up to him sent him over the edge. He thrust deep and hard, giving her everything he had, loving the feel of her as she moved with him. He’d always loved sex, ever since his first time. He'd sometimes wondered if he was addicted. It was a rush, a conquest, an exhilaration as much as an orgasm. This, though? This was different. Feeling Lily’s lithe body move with him, feeling the way her strong arms grasped him to her and her legs wound themselves around him. Most of all, feeling the way her velvety wetness welcomed him and closed around him, he knew he was lost. He’d always loved sex, but everything he’d known until now seemed liked child’s play in comparison to this. In comparison to Lily. Their bodies were joining, melding, becoming one with each thrust of his hips. His mouth sought hers and their tongues mirrored the movements of their bodies, thrusting, joining … oh, God! The pressure that had been building at the base of his spine couldn’t be contained any longer. His thrusts grew wilder. Lily moved with him. She was getting close, her inner muscles closed tighter around him, her breath grew ragged. His did, too. He was losing it. He thrust hard, and the stars exploded behind his eyes. Lily screamed and tightened around him as they moved frantically, clinging to each other as they each gave and received more pleasure than Nate had known was possible.
Eventually, they lay still, panting on each other’s shoulders. Nate’s senses slowly returned. He buried his face in her neck. That was amazing. He didn’t want this moment to end, but he knew that it must. Why did life like to do that to a guy? Why did the best sex he’d ever had have to be with a girl he considered his friend? Was there any hope at all that she might want to repeat the experience?
“What a way to end a drought. Thanks, Nate.”
He screwed his eyes shut. Thanks, Nate? Like he’d done her a favor and changed a flat tire for her? Or fixed her plumbing? He lifted his head and looked down into her eyes. If she felt the same way he did, she was hiding it well. She looked satisfied. But she didn’t look as though she’d had the same kind of life-changing experience that he had. His heart sank. Was this karma at work? How many girls had told him he was the best they’d ever had? How many had wanted to repeat the experience? And how many times had he made light of it and left them with a good memory and an apologetic shrug? Was that what Lily was about to do to him?
It seemed it was.
She sat up and pushed her hair away from her face. “Wow! Now I know why you’re in such demand, Mr.
Evans. I get it.” She grinned. “And I’m glad I got some.”
Nate could only watch as she got up from the bed and went back out into the living room. She returned with two fresh beers. “Do you want one? I’ll have to get in the shower in a minute. I’ve got an early start in the barn in the morning, but we should at least drink to that before you go.”
Nate stared at the unopened bottle, then up at her. She was kicking him out. Making light of what they’d just shared—or not making light, it just hadn’t meant anything to her. He shook his head and scrambled up off the bed. “No, thanks. I’d better get home.” He hopped around as he pulled his pants back on, then quickly pulled his shirt over his head. Lily sat on the edge of the bed, sipping her beer casually. Nate felt as though his head might explode. So, this was how all those women had felt? This was what he’d done to them? Had they felt as cheap and cheated and dismissed as he did right now? Damn, he felt bad. He felt bad for all the women he’d treated this way, but most of all he felt bad—terrible, in fact—that he’d just felt what he had while Lily, apparently, had felt nothing.
When he was dressed and had his shoes on, he smiled at her. It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know the effect she’d had on him. “Are you free tomorrow?” he asked, not unaware of the irony—how many times had he dreaded that question coming from needy females? Now he was the needy one who didn’t want to say goodnight without first seeking reassurance that he’d see her again.
She shrugged. “I’m not sure what I’m doing yet.”
He nodded. It was time to go. “Goodnight, Lil.” He bent down to kiss her cheek. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and keep her there, but instead he let her go and fled from the camper and back to his truck.
~ ~ ~
Once the door had closed behind him, Lily let out the breath she’d been holding. She’d managed it! She hadn’t collapsed in a whimpering heap at his feet and begged him to stay and make love to her again. She shook her head in irritation at herself. “He didn’t make love to you, Lily. No matter what sappy story you come up with, no matter how amazing it felt to you, all Nate did was fuck you!” She cringed at her harsh language, but it was true. Just because she felt like she’d fallen in love with him somewhere in the midst of their lovemaking, she didn’t need to subject poor Nate to her idiotic delusions. The poor guy had enjoyed himself, but that was all. He enjoyed himself with a different woman every weekend. And he would continue to do so. She wanted to cry at the thought, but it was true—he would—and it would only make things uncomfortable for them if he knew just how much tonight had affected her—how much it meant to her. How much he meant.
Chapter Six
Nate looked up at the sound of a tap on his office door. “Come on in.” Whoever it was, he hoped that they didn’t want much of his time. It was almost six, and he was more than ready to call it quits for the day.
“S’up?” asked Pete as he came in and perched on the edge of the desk.
“Nothing up with me, boss man. Unless you count the fact that I’ve slaved for you all day and I’m ready to get out of here and head for the Boathouse.”
Pete held his gaze. “You got a hot date waiting down there for you?”
Nate shook his head and looked away. Pete was too good at seeing inside your head with that piercing blue gaze of his. Nate didn’t want to go there. “Nah, I’m just ready for a beer and a burger at the end of a long day.”
Pete nodded, but didn’t say anything. Nate hated when he did this. There was something he wanted to talk about, but he waited for you to bring it up yourself. Nate wasn’t playing that game today. “Did you want something?”
Pete shrugged. “Just to check in with you, make sure you’re okay.”
Nate deliberately misunderstood. “Yep, everything’s fine. I ironed out the wrinkles and the plaza will be ready to open on schedule.” He grinned. “You know me. I always pull it off.”
Pete nodded. “You do. I’m worried about you, though.”
Here it came. “What are you worried about?”
“What do you think?”
Nate shook his head. “I’m not playing that game. Tell me what you’re worried about; don’t try to wheedle it out of me by getting me to tell you what’s on my mind.”
Pete smiled. “I don’t wheedle.”
Nate had to smile back. “That’s true. You’re more into manipulation, aren’t you?”
Pete looked hurt. “Aww, now that’s not nice.”
Nate laughed. “Too right, it isn’t. Now are you going to tell me what’s on your mind, or are you going to let me get finished up and get out of here?”
“Okay. What’s going on with you and Lily?”
There it was. As usual, Pete was on the money. “Nothing.”
Pete glared at him.
“Seriously, there is nothing going on.”
“Okay, let me rephrase the question. What has happened between you and Lily, and what do you want to happen?”
Nate sighed. “Now that’s a different question altogether.”
Pete raised an eyebrow and waited.
Pete was his boss and had warned him about getting involved with any of the local women, but what was really going on was that Pete was his friend, and Nate needed to talk to someone.
“And the answer is?”
“Fuck, Pete. I don’t know! What happened, was … well, the inevitable happened the other night.”
Pete sighed and nodded. “And now you’re lying low?”
“Yeah, but not for the reason you think.”
“What do I think?”
“You think that I slept with her and now she wants more and I don’t.”
Pete nodded. “And that’s not the reason you’re lying low?”
“No.” Nate shook his head. He was struggling so hard to believe this, let alone deal with it. He blew out a big sigh. “I want more, and she doesn’t.” Nate couldn’t blame Pete for the little half smile that touched his lips for a moment. It would be funny even to him if it didn’t hurt so much. “I know, I know. Call it beautiful irony. Call it karma kicking my ass. But it sucks, Pete.”
Pete smiled at him. “I’m sorry, bud. That must suck. What did she say?”
Nate rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this.” He hesitated, wondering if he shouldn’t just shut up.
“Come on.”
Nate let out a rueful chuckle. “She said thanks.”
Pete gave him a puzzled look.
“Afterward, before she kicked me out. She poured a great big bucket of ice cold water on the warm and fuzzy afterglow by saying, what a way to end a drought, thanks, Nate.”
Pete grimaced. “Ouch.”
“Yeah, ouch is right.” Nate gave him a rueful smile. “There I was, finally understanding what it’s supposed to be like, how you’re supposed to feel. I’m having this great epiphany and thinking I’m falling in love, and she says, thanks, Nate, do you want a beer before you go?”
Pete chuckled. “Damn! Sorry, Nate.”
Nate sighed. “Thanks.”
“What are you going to do?”
“What can I do? If anyone understands where she’s coming from, I do. The last thing she’s going to want is me going all needy on her. She kept saying that our friendship was most important to her, and it is to me, too. I’d rather have her friendship than nothing, but I don’t know how to be around her. Not when I want to try for more and I know that she doesn’t.”
Pete gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry, bud. I wish I knew what to tell you.”
“About what?” asked Jack as he stuck his head around the door.
Nate rolled his eyes. He knew he’d have to tell Jack, too. He was close to both these guys. He couldn’t tell one and not the other, plus maybe Jack would have some wisdom to offer. “About Lily.”
Jack grinned and came into the office. “Did you two finally get it on?”
Nate nodded.
“But get this,” said Pete. “Lily wa
s just in it for a good time, and poor old Nate here wants more.”
Jack started to laugh, then stopped himself when he saw the look on Nate’s face.
“It’s not funny.”
“Sorry,” said Jack. “But you have to admit …”
“Yeah, I admit it, but it doesn’t help any. Do you have any advice to offer, or do you just want to laugh at my misery?”
Jack came and sat in the chair on the other side of the desk. “Are you sure she’s not interested in anything else?”
Nate closed his eyes at the memory of her sitting on her bed casually sipping her beer as she watched him get dressed. “Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because she kicked me out afterward.”
“After you told her how much she meant to you?”
“Hell, no! I wouldn’t do that to her. I waited to see how she reacted.”
“And she didn’t fawn all over you and profess her undying love?”
Nate shook his head. “Couldn’t have been further from it.”
“And did you?”
“Did I what?”
“Fawn all over her and profess your undying love?”
“No! I just told you. I wouldn’t do that to her.”
“Has it occurred to you that Lily is a very smart woman? She might not have wanted to do that to you either, no matter how she felt.”
Nate thought about it. “She’s a chick. When chicks are into you, they tell you. When they want more, they beg for it.”
Jack exchanged a look with Pete.
“What? Don’t make out like I’m stupid. They do!”
“Chicks that are just sleeping around may do that, granted,” said Jack. “But smart women, women who don’t want to get hurt, won’t tell you what they really feel. Not unless they think you’re really interested in them. Not until they feel safe.”
Nate looked at him. “What are you saying?”
Jack shrugged. “I could be wrong, but from what I’ve seen, and from what I’ve heard from the girls, I think Lily might be into you, but I also think she’s a smart woman. She won’t want to embarrass either of you if she thinks you’re not into her.”
