by SJ McCoy
He just didn’t know what to do. He started up the engine. He knew what he needed to do, and that was talk to Lily about it. As he drove home, it struck him just how much she’d changed him already. Normally a woman would never factor in his decision-making process about anything, let alone something as important as this. But this wasn’t just about him, it was about her, too. It was about them. And, hell, if he was honest, it was about whether there was going to be a them.
After he showered and changed, he headed out to the barn, deciding on the way that he should ask if she wanted to go to his place for the evening. He wanted to be with her and to talk. Strange as it was for him, he wanted to be home with her instead of out in public.
When he knocked and opened the camper door, though, he changed his mind. She looked stunning. Her jeans showed off her rounded ass, and that top displayed her full breasts to perfection. She’d put in too much effort to look good for him to suggest that they should veg out on the sofa instead.
“Come on in,” she said.
He went to her and wrapped his arms around her. “I missed you.”
She smiled. “You only saw me this morning.”
He smiled with her at the memory of what they’d gotten up to in the shower before they headed out for work. “I know, but that’s so long ago now.”
She reached up and kissed his lips. “I missed you, too.”
He hugged her to his chest, wondering as he did how on earth he’d get by if he had to go all week without seeing her. That was one of the possibilities he’d been toying with—he could go to work in Seattle and come home to her on the weekends. He didn’t think he could do it, though.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded. “I am, but there’s something I need to talk to you about. Are you ready?”
She nodded and picked up her purse.
“Do you want to come back to my place after dinner? Maybe stay the night?” He didn’t just mean did she want to come and sleep with him. He wanted her there with him. He hated the thought of sleeping without her—or her without him.
“Okay. Let me grab some things.” A few minutes later she had an overnight bag thrown together. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked as he pulled away from the barn. “Normally if you asked me to stay with you it’d involve at least some mention of sex.”
He gave her a sad smile. “Maybe I’m just growing up all of a sudden.”
She nodded. It seemed his somber mood was affecting her, too. “Maybe it’s time we both did?”
“Did what?”
“Grow up and face facts.”
He didn’t like the sound of that. “Do you want to tell me what you mean?”
“Not really, but I will. It seems we’ve got some serious dinner conversation lined up this evening.”
He nodded. It seemed they did.
Once they were seated in a corner booth inside Giuseppe’s and the server had taken their order, Nate reached across and took hold of Lily’s hand.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I don’t want there to be anything wrong. I want us to have a wonderful evening and feel as though we’re at the beginning of a great adventure we’re about to embark on together.”
“I do, too. But why doesn’t it feel that way?”
“Because there’s a big shadow hanging over us.”
“It feels that way. Just when I thought that we’d decided to take our chances, it feels as though we’re grinding to a halt again.”
“Why?” Nate knew what big shadow he was referring to, but Lily couldn’t know about Seattle. She must be talking about something else completely. “What’s bothering you, Lil?”
She shrugged. “I hate to even say this. It makes me feel needy and clinging, and that’s not who I am. I just, I guess I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
“Holly was out at the barn for a lesson today, and she was talking about Phoenix. She was talking about opening her store at the plaza and how that’s great for her, but she’s not sure what it will mean for Pete. The project is almost complete here, isn’t it?”
Nate nodded slowly.
“So, what happens next?”
He held her gaze. “I don’t know. They just closed a big deal on a new development in Seattle.”
She nodded sadly. “When do you leave?”
He squeezed her hand. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I don’t want to leave. At least, I don’t want to leave you.”
She sighed. “But it’s your life, Nate. It’s your job. It’s what you do. Once a project is finished you move on to the next one, don’t you?”
He nodded. He couldn’t deny it. “But it doesn’t have to mean the end of us, Lil.”
She let out a short laugh. “Come on, Nate. It was going to be enough of a struggle for you to only be with me while you were living here. You’re not telling me that you’re going to be able to resist the night life, and all the lovely ladies it has to offer once you hit Seattle.”
Nate let go of her hand and sat back in his chair. It hurt that she was still so hung on up on that. It hadn’t even occurred to him that he’d be tempted by other women, just that he’d miss her so much. “Is that all you think of me, still?”
She shrugged. “Like I said on the way here. Maybe it’s time we both just grow up and face facts.”
He nodded. Maybe it was. And it was time for him to accept the fact that she just didn’t trust him. She didn’t believe in him, and that hurt—a lot.
The waiter returned with their food, but Nate had lost his appetite. He picked at his fries and watched Lily do the same. What a great evening this was turning out to be.
“I’m sorry,” she said eventually. “That wasn’t fair of me. I’m scared, and it hurts to think that you’re going to leave and we’re going to be over. I lashed out at you, and I shouldn’t have.” She reached across the table and took hold of his hand. “Forgive me?”
“I’d forgive you anything. I love you.”
Tears filled her eyes. “But love isn’t always enough, is it?”
He shook his head; he knew it wasn’t. “But it’s going to be enough for us. We’ll figure something out. Like I told you before, together we can conquer the world. You and me, Lil.”
She gave him a weak smile. “It sounds good, but how?”
“You want to open a riding stable in Seattle?”
She let out a short laugh. “And what, sell it and start over again when you move to the next project?”
“Yeah, that wouldn’t work, would it?” He couldn’t ask her to go with him. Her life and her business were here. Hell, she lived here because it was where she wanted to be. It had cost her a lot to come back here. He couldn’t ask her to leave again, just for him.
“I don’t know what I could do here.” He didn’t. Phoenix was the only job he’d ever had.
She raised an eyebrow. “I already thought about that. You could do your day trading or whatever it is you do, but that wouldn’t be enough for you, would it? You need to be out with people, organizing things, making things happen.”
He did. He’d be miserable sitting in the house all day working on a computer like Dan did. “Well, we’re not going to figure it out tonight. So, should we at least enjoy each other’s company?”
“Yeah, while we can.”
Chapter Fourteen
Lily sighed as she got ready to go out for dinner. She looked good, but what did it matter? Nate wasn’t here. He’d gone to Seattle already. She couldn’t believe how fast it’d happened. Last night they’d said they were going to make the most of each other’s company while they could. And it was a good thing they had. They’d had a night to remember when they got back to his place; she was a little sore in places she didn’t know a girl could be sore today! She’d woken in his arms this morning and had wished with all her heart that they were at the beginning of the beautiful adventure he’d talked about—that waking up in his arms was going to be the norm for the r
est of her life. It wasn’t, though. She wouldn’t get to wake up with him tomorrow or the day after or the day after that. He was in Seattle, and she was here. Oh, well. At least she had friends here, she had a good life, that was what she needed to make the most of now.
She drove down to the resort where she was meeting Holly for dinner. Holly had insisted when she came out for her riding lesson this morning, and now Lily understood why. She found her seated in a booth and slid in to sit opposite her.
“You knew, didn’t you?”
Holly nodded sadly. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. Pete made me promise I wouldn’t tell you. He wanted Nate to be able to tell you himself.”
“Yeah,” Lily should be grateful for that. It wasn’t much consolation, though. Nate had called her in a panic mid-morning. He and Pete needed to get to Seattle as fast as they could. Pete had insisted that they take off as soon as they’d both packed a bag. They’d be back on Friday evening.
“It’s only because they need to tie the deal up straight away,” said Holly. “They’ll only be gone a few days.”
“Yeah, Nate said that.” Lily shrugged. “But realistically, he’s not coming back, is he?”
“Of course he is. They’re opening the plaza on Saturday.”
“I know, but then he’ll have to go back to Seattle on Monday. You don’t start a big project like that and then leave again. This is it. His life in Seattle started this morning. It’s over.”
“Oh, don’t say that, sweetie. He’ll be back on the weekends at least and …”
Lily shook her head. “Maybe, but it’s the end for him and me.”
“But why? You can have a long-distance relationship.” Even Holly didn’t look convinced about that.
Lily let out a short laugh. “Why? Because Nate isn’t the kind of guy who could survive a long-distance relationship, is he? It was going to be enough of a struggle for him to be in an exclusive relationship when he was right here with me. I can’t expect him—and I wouldn’t ask him—to give up his lifestyle and be miserable in Seattle. It’s not who he is. I’m just glad it’s happened now before we got too attached.”
Holly raised an eyebrow. “Bullshit. You already are too attached. You told me yourself you’d fallen for him.”
“Yeah, and I also told you that I’m a realist and I’d figure out a way to deal with it when it was over.”
“Well, I don’t think it’s over. And I don’t think Nate does either.”
Lily shrugged. She hoped he didn’t, but no matter what either of them thought, reality wasn’t going to change. He was in Seattle. She was here. He could revert to his old lifestyle—which suited him so well. And she could pick up the pieces and get on with her life. She looked around the restaurant, glad that they hadn’t come here as a couple. She didn’t want this place to be full of memories she had to push away. It’d be bad enough going back to Giuseppe’s. She’d always look at that corner booth and think about last night. She frowned as her gaze fell on a corner booth here. Ben was sitting there. With a woman. A woman with long blonde hair and a beautiful face and a short skirt. Wow. The woman was flirting outrageously, batting her eyes at him and flicking her hair back over her shoulder.
Lily looked at Holly. “Have you seen that?”
“What?”
Lily jerked her head, and Holly followed her gaze. When she saw Ben and the mystery woman, Holly made a face. “Who the hell is she?”
Kenzie came over and slammed a couple of menus down on the table, before turning to glare at Ben and his companion. “I don’t like it, girls. I don’t like it one bit.”
“Who is she?” asked Holly.
“Angel.” Kenzie spat the name out as if it tasted bad. “As if that’s a real name.”
Lily had a friend named Angel, but she knew better than to share that fact with Kenzie at this point.
“Is she a guest at the resort?”
“I wish. Then she’d be gone in a couple of days. She’s here to interview.”
“What for?” Lily hoped she wasn’t going to come work in the bar. Kenzie wouldn’t be happy about that.
“For the manager’s position over at Four Mile. Now the plaza is going to be open, Ben’s getting ready to open the resort over there.”
“I thought they’d wait until next year? The season’s almost over.”
“Pete and Ben decided they’d do a soft launch, have the place open through the winter. That way they’ll be able to straighten out any problems before the busy season comes around again—and hit the ground running when it does.”
Holly nodded but said nothing.
“Ben seems to like her,” said Lily as she watched him throw back his head and laugh at something Angel said.
“Ben’s been on his own too long,” said Kenzie with a scowl. “I wish this Charlotte chick would sort her life out and get over here. If she doesn’t hurry up about it she might find out she’s too late.”
“No!” Lily couldn’t believe that. “Ben’s waited his whole life for Charlotte. What makes you think he’d give up on her now they’re so close to finally making it happen?”
Kenzie shrugged and jerked her head to where he was sitting smiling at Angel while she talked. “Blonde hair, big tits, and a sweet little girl pout. Ben’s a good guy, but he’s not a monk, and he’s no saint.”
Holly laughed. “You have such a way with words, Kenz.”
Kenzie smiled. “Thanks. I just say it like I see it. And I don’t like what I’m seeing there.”
“Well, even if she can turn his head with her looks, that won’t be enough to get her the job. The business is the most important thing in the world to Ben. If he’s going to trust someone else to run a part of it, it’ll be because of their business skills. Not their looks.”
Kenzie made a face. “Unfortunately, it seems she has a great résumé, too. He was excited to meet her just based on that. Then when he saw her …” She shook her head. “I mean, come on. She’s like his dream girl. She grew up in a resort just like this place. She went to school for tourism, then worked her way around the world managing hotels and restaurants, and now she wants to get back to her roots.”
“She does sound perfect,” said Holly.
Lily and Kenzie both glared at her. “But she’s not Charlotte!” said Lily.
Holly shrugged apologetically. “Maybe it’s time he moved on. I know it’s time I moved on to ordering some food. I’m starving.” She picked up her menu and deliberately turned her back on where Ben and Angel were sitting.
Kenzie tapped her pencil on her pad. “Do you need a few minutes? Shall I come back?”
“No. I’ll just have a taco salad.” Lily didn’t want to give Kenzie the excuse to keep marching past Ben’s table giving Angel the evil eye.
“I’ll have the same.” Holly handed her menu back to Kenzie with a smile. “Just remember, Kenz. It’s not up to us to decide what he does, or who he ends up with. It’s just up to us to support him, no matter what.”
Kenzie pursed her lips. “I suppose.”
Once she’d gone, Lily took a sip of her drink and sighed.
“What’s up with you?”
“It’s like life giving me a confirmation that Nate and I are over.”
“What? What is?”
Lily shot a look over at Ben. “If even Ben can get his head turned by another woman, and not wait for Charlotte, then what chance do I stand that Nate isn’t going to jump into bed with the first pretty girl he meets? It’s not fair to expect it.”
Holly shook her head. She didn’t argue, though.
~ ~ ~
Nate went to answer the knock at his hotel room door. He was tired and ready for an early night. He’d ordered room service and planned to eat it while he watched a movie. Pete had told him that Lily was having dinner with Holly tonight, so he’d leave it a while before he called her. Maybe he’d call her once he got into bed, and maybe she’d be in bed, too. He smiled. He’d never seen the appeal in phone sex before—not when you coul
d get the real thing anytime you wanted. He understood it now, though. It wasn’t the real thing that he wanted most; it was the woman he wanted it with—Lily.
He opened the door and was surprised to see Pete standing there. “Come on then. Let’s hit the town.”
“You’re kidding? I just ordered room service. I’m all set for a quiet night in.”
Pete laughed and walked past him into the room.
“Come on in, why don’t you?”
“Thanks. I’ll just wait here while you get dressed.”
“I’m not getting dressed. I’m not going out.”
“Yes, you are, and hurry up about it, would you?”
Nate sighed. There was no point arguing with Pete and he knew it. Ten minutes later they were headed out when room service showed up. Nate eyed the cart and the guy pushing it. “Are you hungry?”
The guy’s eyes widened, and he shook his head rapidly.
Nate smiled and slipped him a five. “There you go. You can take it back to the kitchen, or you eat it if you want. I’m not going to get a chance now.” He followed Pete down the corridor to the elevator.
He looked around as they took a seat at the bar. This was his kind of place. It was busy, but not too crowded. There was a great atmosphere with tables full of young professionals eating and talking and laughing. There was a dance floor over in the corner that he guessed would get crowded later. It was just the kind of place he would normally seek out. Tonight, all he wanted was to get dinner over with and get back to his room to call Lily.
Pete grinned at him. “What are you drinking?”
“I’ll just have a beer,” he said to the pretty girl behind the bar who had honed straight in on the two of them.
She came straight back with two beers and a flirty smile. “I haven’t seen you two in here before.”
“We’re just here on business,” said Nate. He didn’t want to get into a conversation with her.
“Well, I am,” said Pete. “Nate here’s thinking about moving to the area.”
Nate scowled at Pete as the girl smiled and turned toward him. “Not exactly. I might be working here for a while. That’s all.”
