I felt my cheeks fill with pink from the sheer pleasure that little statement gave me, but I shrugged off his compliment in hopes he wouldn’t see my blush. “That’s why we’re such good friends, Z.”
“You’re my best friend, Anna.”
I lifted a brow at that. “Not Dev or Noah?”
He shook his head. “No, babe. Neither one of them get me like you do. I never talk to them like I talk to you. Without you, I’d probably lose what is left of my mind.”
My heart turned over. “Zander…”
“Here you go, kids.” Mr. Welsh set the dish loaded with ice cream on the counter, pulling Zander’s attention away.
He paid for the dessert and we went over to the toppings station. I grabbed the can of whipped cream while Zander drowned most of our ice cream in hot fudge sauce, nuts, marshmallow cream, and gummy bears. As I started to cover the dish in the whipped cream, I noticed that he had made sure to leave the butter pecan alone when he’d been putting on the toppings.
It wasn’t that I got Zander so much; he got me, too. He knew what I liked and didn’t. He was so considerate, so gentle and caring. It hadn’t been hard to fall for him. Unfortunately, I kept falling a little more every day.
CHAPER FOUR
Zander
Tell her.
That damned voice in the back of my head kept whispering those two words over and over again. Wanting me to confess, needing to prepare her for what would happen when she went in to work the next morning.
I couldn’t force the words out, however. I knew that if I told her what I’d done—that I’d gone over her head and told Noah exactly what was going on in her house—she would think I had betrayed her. I’d promised her repeatedly that I wouldn’t go to Noah¸ but I couldn’t let things continue the way they were at home. If something happened to her and I hadn’t done everything in my power to make sure she was safe…
I punched the side of the bed and glared up at the ceiling. Just the thought of her getting hurt made me insane. My fucked-up mind couldn’t deal with it and I wanted to destroy something.
From my connecting bathroom I heard the water turn off and tried to relax, not wanting her to worry. I’d convinced her to shower here rather than sneaking into her house to do it. Since it was Friday night I knew my grandparents wouldn’t think twice about me taking a shower so late. I was usually out until early morning because of OtherWorld’s gig and they were used to me showering when I got home.
That is if they actually happened to hear anything at all. They both wore hearing aids and took them out when they went to bed. That was one of the reasons I hadn’t moved out when I’d graduated high school. Devlin and I had even talked about renting a house or something together, but I hadn’t wanted to leave Gram and Gramps vulnerable like that. What if someone broke in and they didn’t hear anything? They could get hurt and I would seriously lose my shit then.
The other reason I’d decided to stay was because I knew Gram needed some help paying for her medication. It was so expensive that she’d been known to go without just so she could instead buy groceries when I was younger. Now that I was working full time and getting a decent paycheck every week, I was able to help her with that. I paid most of the bills so she didn’t have to worry about whether or not she had her blood pressure medication or electricity that month.
The bathroom door opened and Annabelle stepped out dressed in one of my T-shirts and a pair of boxers. All other thoughts evaporated from my mind at the sight of her like that. Her long, platinum-blond hair was hanging around her face in wet tangles. The shirt I’d loaned her fell to mid-thigh, practically swallowing her small frame up. The old, black boxers I’d given her to sleep in peeked out from under the shirt as she walked toward the bed.
I quickly sat up and pulled one of the pillows over my crotch to hide the evidence of my raging hard-on. She flopped down on the bed beside me, turned on her stomach and scrunched the pillow under her head. She looked tired, but no less beautiful.
Tell her.
My mouth remained closed. If I told her, and she got upset, I wasn’t sure how I would handle it. Would she stop trusting me? Stop sneaking through my window when she needed me? Would I lose her?
Clenching my jaw, I reached out and turned off the lamp beside my bed before lying down next to her. She was quiet, way too quiet for Annabelle. Concerned, I reached over and pushed her long, damp hair back from her face. A streetlight and the moon were both shining through my window, giving her skin an ethereal glow. “What’s wrong?” I whispered.
“Just tired,” she murmured, but I could tell she was lying. She might have been tried, but there was something on her mind. I could practically see the wheels in her mind turning.
“Talk to me, babe. You know you can tell me anything.” And I won’t tell Noah unless I have to. I gritted my teeth as that damn voice taunted me. Guilt was eating me alive, but I knew I’d done the right thing. I just hoped she would see it that way.
Her lips lifted in a small smile that didn’t reach those baby-blue eyes that fucking owned me. “I’m just being silly, Z. Honest, I’m fine.”
Without thinking, I cupped her cheek in one hand. “I’d walk through hell for you, you know that, right?” Please remember that tomorrow, I mentally willed her.
She turned her face into my palm. Her eyes closed and she smiled a little bigger. “Me too, Z. Me too.”
“Come here,” I muttered and pulled her closer. She turned on her side and pillowed her head on my shoulder. Fuck, that felt good. It felt so fucking perfect. Like she belonged there. One of her slender arms draped over my stomach and I brushed a kiss across the top of her head. “Goodnight, Anna.”
“Night, Z.” She yawned and her eyes closed sleepily.
I laid there for hours just listening to the sound of her breathing. Even with the guilt churning in my gut, my fucked-up mind was calm. Over the last few months I’d realized that she brought me peace. I wasn’t up twisting the doorknob fourteen times, or closing my dresser drawer fourteen times, or turning off the bathroom light—yeah, fourteen times. With her, like this, I didn’t feel like my mind was broken. I was able to see past the obsessions and think clearly.
I couldn’t tell you when my OCD first started messing with my life. I couldn’t remember a time when it hadn’t affected it. Even in kindergarten kids would whisper about me. Parents hadn’t wanted me to play with their kids; either they were too much of a bigot or scared I would rub my OCD off on their special little brats. It hadn’t really mattered that much to me.
I’d had Noah and Devlin from the time I could walk, and then Annabelle, followed almost just as quickly by Noah’s girlfriend, Chelsea. I hadn’t needed anyone else. A few years back, Liam had moved to West Bridge because his old man had died. With Liam I’d gotten two more friends to add to my short list since he’d brought Wroth into our little group. Well, I guess three if you counted Marissa, but she was still too young to understand that I was broken. One day she would and who knew what would happen then. She might be just like those other fuckers who looked down their noses at me, or she might be just as amazing as Annabelle and would look past my fucked-up mind.
I considered myself lucky to have all of them as friends, but I knew if I had to give them all up it would be Annabelle I would miss the most. Just thinking about being without her was enough to make me feel like there was a boulder sitting on my chest, making it almost impossible to breathe.
By morning I might have to face life without her. That was the scariest thing I’d ever have to face. Ten times more terrifying than Wroth Niall in a rage and being the one he was ready to tear apart.
I sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm my heartrate. She wouldn’t hate me for long. She couldn’t stay mad forever. I’d find a way for her to see it from my point of view. I had to keep telling myself those things over and over until I was finally able to relax once more. Tightening my arms around her, I brushed a kiss across her forehead and breathed in the fragrance of my shampoo in he
r hair.
Before I was ready, my eyes began to grow heavy and I was drifting off to sleep…
She was gone when I opened my eyes the next morning. I pushed down the disappointment and got out of bed, knowing that Gram would come looking for me if I wasn’t out of bed in time for breakfast.
I sat down at the table with my grandparents and ate the food that Gram placed in front of me, but I didn’t taste any of it. Gram asked me twice if I was feeling okay, and I forced a smile and assured her I was fine. The concern in her hazel eyes told me she didn’t believe me, but I wasn’t about to blurt out what was bothering me.
Gram loved Annabelle and she would skin my hide if she knew I’d done something to hurt her. I couldn’t tell her the reasons why I’d broken a promise to the girl who was more my best friend than anyone else on the planet. There would be an all-out war between my grandparents and Mrs. Cassidy-Malcolm. Annabelle would get put in the middle, and she would end up hating me even more than I suspected she already did.
Or would, once she talked to Noah.
Gramps was always grumbling about the grass and having to mow it. I didn’t know why he was so fussy about it because I’d been mowing it since I was twelve. After breakfast I went out to get the yard work done before he could open his mouth about it. By the time I came back in, just a little over an hour later, Gram had a glass of her sweet tea waiting for me.
I gulped it down, enjoying the sugar shock to my system that always came with a glass of Gram’s special sweat tea, before heading back to my room and grabbing a quick shower. I was just pulling a clean shirt over my head when my bedroom door opened and Devlin walked in. He barely glanced at me before flopping down on my bed.
I caught the pillow he threw at my head easily. “Thought you and Liam were going fishing this morning?” At least, that’s where he and Liam usually spent their Saturday mornings.
Devlin clenched his jaw. “That was the plan until Tawny called him and asked him to drive her to Nashville.”
I swallowed back a curse and dropped down on the edge of the bed to put on my boots. “That bitch is trouble.” Liam and Devlin were normally inseparable on the weekends. Well, before Tawny came into Liam’s life. Now Liam was ditching Devlin and anyone else for that stupid coke whore.
“Yup.”
I combed my fingers through my damp hair and stood. “So what do you want to do?”
“Wroth said he was putting hay in the barn today. Want to go out there and give him a hand? See if Mary Beth made one of those cherry pies?” He grinned as he sat up on my bed. “I could really go for a slice of one of her pies.”
I was up for anything that didn’t involve us going near the garage. Maybe I was acting like a pussy, but I wasn’t ready to face Annabelle if she was going to hate me. It would be best to let her temper cool off a little before I saw her again. I’d even go out to the Niall’s farm and carry heavy-ass bales of hay to avoid a confrontation with her.
I grabbed the keys to my truck and called a goodbye to Gram as we headed out the back door. “I probably won’t be back for dinner,” I told her. “We’re going out to the Niall’s farm to help out.”
Gram smiled fondly up at me, and my heart twisted with love for the little wrinkled-face lady who had raised me. “You two are good boys. Tell Mary Beth I said hello.”
It was a twenty-minute drive out to the farm. Devlin spent the time trying to find something decent to listen to on the radio, but our only radio station only played old country music. We were close enough to Nashville to get some of their stations, but the closer we got to the farm the less of a signal we got until we were mostly just listening to static. Frustrated, I turned the damn thing off and we were silent for the last five minutes of the ride.
Wroth’s farm was one of the largest in the county, but a few years before, his father had nearly lost it to the bank. Wroth had enlisted in the marines and used his sign-on bonus to get his old man caught up on their mortgage. While he was away, he’d sent money home as often as possible to help keep it running, but it had been Liam who had helped out the most. He’d worked at the garage part time, helping Devlin’s dad work on engines. After Wroth had come home from his deployment, however, he’d quit the garage.
Of course that was the same time he’d started dating Tawny. Fuck, if there was ever a chick I hated it would have been that bitch. She was sucking all the good out of my friend and turning him into a person I didn’t recognize anymore.
I drove past the old farmhouse about half a mile before I reached the barn. Wroth was standing on the back of his truck surrounded by huge bales of hay that he’d cut and baled himself over the last few days. Stopping a few feet away from the other truck, I got out and walked toward the barn with Devlin.
“Zander! Devlin!”
I couldn’t help but grin at the excitement in Marissa’s sweet little voice. She was standing in the barn entrance with an orange kitten in her arms. Liam’s little sister was nine and was always following Wroth around. You would think that someone as scary looking as Wroth would terrify any kid who went near him. That wasn’t the case with Marissa. She might have been the only person alive who didn’t cringe at the sound of his beast-like voice or cower when he went all rage-monster. I was pretty sure that Marissa was the only person Wroth actually cared about.
“Whatcha got there, Rissa?” Devlin asked as he scratched the kitten behind the ears. It was tiny, nothing more than a ball of fur.
“This is Peaches,” she informed him. “Wroth found her last night. He nearly ran over her with his truck. She doesn’t have a mommy, so he brought her home to me to take care of.”
I tried not to snicker at the thought of the beast known as Wroth Niall picking up a stray cat and bringing it home. I bet the poor kitten had been terrified at the sight of the ex-marine. I knew better than to speak those thoughts aloud, though. I wasn’t about to push the rage-monster’s buttons. I didn’t have a fucking death wish.
“Want some help?” I asked the beast, who was tossing bales of hay onto the ground two at a time like they were nothing.
“I’m not gonna say no, dude.”
Smirking, I started carrying the bales already on the ground inside the barn. There was already a small stack against a back wall so that was where I put the rest. After a few minutes of talking to Marissa, Devlin started helping and before long we were finished—with the first load at least. It took three more loads before the job was done.
Covered in sweat, we went down to the farmhouse for lunch with Mary Beth. As soon as we walked through the door, I knew Devlin was going to get what he came for. The smell of Mary Beth’s famous cherry pie filled the entire house, making me want to sit down and never leave.
“Marissa, put Peaches in your room, baby.” Mary Beth was running around the kitchen putting together freshly cooked roast beef sandwiches. “And wash your hands.”
“Dad not coming?” Wroth asked as he took his place at the table.
“He’s still in town. Wade is putting new brakes on the pickup.” Mary Beth set the sandwiches on the kitchen table before turning back to the fridge to take out the potato salad. I didn’t know how she did it, but she always had a batch of potato salad on hand whenever I came over. Devlin might be a sucker for her pies, but for me I’d steal Mary Beth away and marry her just for that damn potato salad.
Mr. Niall was at the garage. I couldn’t help but tense up at the thought of what was going on down there this morning. I grimaced, wondering if Annabelle hated me yet.
Fuck. I hoped not.
CHAPTER FIVE
Annabelle
The garage was empty when I walked into work that morning. The old Buick was gone, letting me know that Mrs. Farris had already picked up her car. I grinned to myself as I opened the door to the office.
“Thanks for handling the Buick for me,” I told Noah as I walked past the desk and into the break room to grab one of the donuts Wade always brought in on Saturday mornings.
After pourin
g myself a cup of the strong black coffee Noah favored, I went back into the office and sat down on the edge of the desk. I was stuffing my face with the blueberry-filled powdered donut when I glanced at my brother. He hadn’t spoken so much as a word since I’d walked through the door and that just wasn’t like my brother.
“What’s up?” I asked, causing powdered sugar to come out of my mouth in a cloud.
Noah wasn’t normally a brooding kind of person. Even when he was sick he always had a smile for me. That wasn’t the case right then. His face was so grim it looked like he’d never smiled a day in his life. His blue eyes were darker than I’d ever seen them and his jaw was clenched so hard that I worried he was going to break the crown on his back tooth he’d gotten in the fifth grade.
He just sat there, his eyes full of a mixture of emotions that confused me as he watched me. I knew instinctively that whatever was bothering him, it wasn’t good. My brother was the kind of guy who could find the good in any situation. Mostly. The look on his face right then told me that he’d come across a situation that held very little good, however.
I licked the powdered sugar and blueberry filling from the corner of my lips before wiping my mouth with the napkin I’d snatched in the break room. “You’re starting to worry me here, Noah.” I laughed, trying to break the tension that was filling up the office.
He moved so fast I nearly yelped in surprise when he grabbed hold of both my hands and held them tightly in his much bigger ones. “Why didn’t you tell me, Annabelle?” he asked in a voice rough with the same emotions that were swirling in his eyes.
Everything inside of me went still with dread. I forced a smile for him and shook my head. “Tell you what? I’m not following here, Noah.”
His hands tightened around my fingers, but what shocked me was the desperate look on his face all of a sudden. “I know, honey. I know what’s been going on at home. About Mom and Jacob. About the beatings. I know that you’ve been sleeping in Z’s bed the last few weeks. Why didn’t you tell me? Why, Annabelle?”
The Rocker Who Betrays Me Page 4
