“I’ve always loved him too, Kip.”
“Hen, what Jagger did is fucked up. He called me yesterday morning, and we had coffee at the diner outside of town. I am mad at him. He told me all about it, and I believe he’s truly sorry. I don’t know what you got going on in that pretty head of yours, but Jagger didn’t hide it from you to hurt you; quite the opposite. He thinks the baby might not be his, so I think he was waiting to see how that played out before he told you. He’s sorry he didn’t do this the right way.”
“Sorry doesn’t fix it, Kip.”
“Yeah. I get it. I just thought you should know, if it matters, I don’t think he did it to hurt you. This is a heavy burden you are carrying my friend.”
He pulls me into a hug. I believe Jagger didn’t mean to hurt me, but he did.
“What you think matters, Kip.”
Chapter 5
Henley
We dress in our outrageous disguises. I choose a wig of dread locks, and a Jamaican hat on top. I put on the John Lennon glasses and add a fisherman’s vest Kip picked up. Kip dresses like a woman today. He squeezes into one of my dresses. Did I tell you how petite I am? He wears a halter-top red dress and his tennis shoes. I put jewelry on him to match and apply heavy makeup. He didn’t shave, so he looks like a bearded woman. He places the black wig on that I wore yesterday, and a pair of my aviators, grabs a black straw hat made for the beach and pulls it over his wig. He looks ridiculous… and hideous. His manly arms are covered in tattoos and the halter dress does nothing to hide them. As soon as we open the door to exit, Kip grows hysterical.
“Holy shit! I can’t go out like this!” he shrieks.
No, you really shouldn’t.
“I need boobs! I’m flat-chested, guys don’t dig that shit.”
“You are flat chested.”
“Don’t get mad because I am a pretty woman.”
I find a strapless bra and by nothing short of a miracle, I squeeze him into it. He stuffs tissue down his bra, and watching him act like the thirteen-year-old girl who hasn’t blossomed yet when all her friends have, is fucking HI-LAR-I-OUS! He has the greatest sense of humor.
We leave my house with Cash in tow. Kip has to take his hat off in the car because I couldn’t see around it to drive, and bitches about me messing his hair up. We drive to a local outdoor market to pick out fresh fruit, veggies, and plants for my deck. Kip walks around the market dressed like a drag queen, and he carries Cash as he prances around. People stare, and some even laugh. Kip speaks to men who stare at him in his best feminine voice. He even has his drag hand motions down.
“Boyfriend, you gotta flaunt it if you got it. That’s what I say! You free later?”
After the market, we stop by a local greenhouse to find other plants for the deck. We turn heads again, rather Kip turns heads. He updates the site, uploading pictures of the places after we leave. We eat lunch at the beach again, our disguises unnoticed and holding up. I’m a tad bit disappointed no one notices us. I really hope someone will notice Kip in drag. After lunch, our trip takes us to a local shopping mall in search of pots for my new plants, and Kip is finally recognized by a fan, and we are as excited as the fan is. He gives her some merchandise and a kiss. He asks her not to post pictures until after ten, and she agrees. I leave him and Cash eating up the attention and head to an antique shop several storefronts down. I am lost in my thoughts when I hear his voice. The voice I love because it is warm, comforting, sexy, loving, and it still gives me butterflies.
“Hen?”
I raise my eyes to discover him holding a bag from an upscale baby store. I peer into the store on my left to see cribs, strollers, and everything one might want for their child. The tears prick my eyes, and I try to swallow past the lump. I really did, but seeing him there with the bag in his hand is like a punch to the gut. This is real. He is having a baby with someone else. He isn’t mine anymore, and as that realization washes over me, the girl in the pictures exits the store and stands next to Jagger, claiming him. I see the panic and the pain flash in his eyes, and he ignores her presence. She looks me up and down and then has the nerve to scoff at me. I can’t move, or speak, or beat the shit out of her so I stand there like a damn fool instead. Jagger’s eyes never leave mine, and I can’t find the strength to pull away from this connection. I somehow muster the courage to look at her, and a devious grin spreads across her face. She places her hands on her belly to tell me she has won. She won Jagger Carlyle, the boy I’ve loved since the sixth grade.
I turn on my heel and walk as fast as my legs can manage back to Kip and Cash.
“Henley!” Jagger screams my name.
He is in hot pursuit of me, but I don’t turn back.
“Jagger!” Claudia screams.
“Please stop! Baby, please!” he begs.
Claudia is still yelling Jagger’s name. I reach the store Kip is in, open the door and shout for him to book it. He instantly sees my demeanor and runs towards me. When I close the door, I step straight into Jagger’s chest, but push him off me. I make a straight shot for the car. Jagger, Kip, Cash, and Claudia run behind me in that order. Kip is chasing me, Jagger is chasing me, and Claudia is chasing her baby daddy. I unlock the car, and open the driver’s door, but Jagger gets to me in time to force it shut. He boxes me in against the car, with his hands on either side of my head, leans in so close his breath is on my face, but I turn my head.
He leans even closer, and whispers in my ear, “I’m sorry, baby. I am so sorry you saw that. I am sorry. I had to pick some things up. Jesus, Henley. I’m supposed to do this with you. I’m supposed to tell the world you are carrying my child. We are supposed to shop for our child’s nursery. I don’t want this, but I can’t desert this child if it is mine. I’m so sorry, baby.”
I can’t bear to look at him, I won’t give him the tears, and I won’t show the gut wrenching emotion that is clawing its way up my throat. I remain plastered against the side of my vehicle like I am on the edge of a rooftop.
“Let me see your eyes,” his voice cracks.
I don’t move and I still don’t speak. If I open my mouth, the dam that is holding back the screams and the cries will break and she would see me cry. I won’t give her the fucking satisfaction.
“Jagger, bro, let me take her home. It’s too much right now. Don’t do this with her here. This is between you and Hen. She deserves that much respect,” Kip pleads with him.
He leans back, taking me in, and touching the back of his hand to my face, running it all the way down to my jaw. I flinch at his touch, and close my eyes. Please just go away. Take her away.
“She deserves the whole fucking world Kip. She deserves it all. I still want to give it to you Hen, baby. I love you so much. Please call me when you get home. I can come right over and we can talk.”
“You aren’t going any damn where,” Claudia lashes out.
“Shut up,” Jagger orders.
“Fuck that. I have your child in my stomach and you are standing in a public lot rubbing all over her fucking face, telling her you love her. How does she deserve respect?”
Jagger growls, but Kip beats him to the punch, “Listen whore, I don’t give a shit whose kid is in your belly, you won’t waltz in our lives and fuck it up more than you already have. Jagger is doing the right thing by you. You got knocked up because of a one-night stand, and you saw dollar signs in your eyes. You think you deserve respect? He is telling her he loves her because he does. He hurt her and he is trying to make that right. He doesn’t love you. One night of drunken sex does not equal love. He is not going to fall magically in love with you because you spit a human out of your vagina. The sooner you realize that, the easier your life will be. Even if Henley never speaks to him again, he won’t love you. That man’s heart has been wrapped up in her for fourteen years, but you were only one night. Seeing the difference yet?”
“Fuck you,” she seethes.
“No thank you. I know what
happens when you get rock star dick in you.”
“What the fuck do you know?”
“I know that might not be his baby. I know he is still doing right by you until he finds out if it is.”
“Mind your own fucking business.”
“You asked what I knew, so I told you. Make up your mind. Are you bipolar? They make awesome meds for that. Makes you really happy and shit. I might even like you.”
“You’re a fucking dick.”
“Yup. We all strive to be good at things in life, mine is being a dick. Speaking of dick, dude, did she act like this the night you porked her? She is a real fucking cunt.”
“I didn’t even remember her name,” Jagger says, not softening the blow.
“And you think you’re special,” Kip insults with a grin.
“I’ll wait in the car.”
Claudia turned on her heel and leaves. Thank fuck for that. Jagger remains a brick wall against me, and even through his conversation with Claudia and Kip, he hasn’t looked away.
“Henley, please look at me.”
“I can’t,” my voice cracks, chiseling another crack in my dam.
“Can I come over and see you later?”
“I don’t... I’m not sure.”
The dam is breaking. I put my hands on his chest and give a shove to catch him off guard, and he steps back a few steps, so I open my car door, close it, and lock it immediately. I put my face in my hands and sob. He tries to open the door, but the lock holds tight.
“Let me in, Henley. Please let me hold you.”
I sob more, the sound of his voice hurts too much.
“Baby, please.”
I hear him touch the window, and hear what I assume is his face touch the glass, “I am so sorry. I am so fucking sorry. I’ll do anything. Please don’t cry. Don’t cry for me.” He sobs right along with me. “I love you so much. I can’t stop thinking about you. I am desperate here, please let me touch you. Let me love you.”
I breathe in big, deep breaths, and let my sobs dry up. I uncover my face and lean to the center console to find a tissue. I wipe my face, and with two hands on the steering wheel, I stare straight ahead.
“Go home with Claudia, Jagger.”
“You don’t mean that.”
I repeated, “Go home with Claudia, Jagger.”
“Don’t do this baby, please.”
“Go home with Claudia, Jagger.”
Kip’s voice comes into the mix, “Come on buddy, and let me walk you to your car. Give her some time, yeah?”
“I love you. I always will,” he says before Kip escorts him away.
I continue to stare straight ahead scared to see Jagger, and the pain on his face. No matter how much he hurt me, I am not immune to his emotion.
Drag Queen Kip opens the passenger door, and we go home.
Chapter 6
Henley
I don’t speak to Jagger that night, or any night since I saw him outside the baby store. The next day, Kip moves into my basement. His lease is up, he isn’t ready to buy, and neither one of us wants to be alone. Plus, Kip thought Cash needed his Uncle Kip full time. We play the Kipley Show the next few days until it was time to go home for Christmas.
The families of both bands gathered on the 26th each year since we’ve all known each other for years. Many of our parents grew up together. I am nervous about seeing Jagger. Our situation will be the elephant in the room all day, and I just don’t know if I can handle it. I can’t pretend that life is all hunky dory. Kip and I take a taxi to the airfield, where our private jet waits. We are running behind schedule, so everyone is waiting for us. Koi, Jessica, Samantha, Griffin, Rhys, Cam, Casey, Jagger, and Kip and I are all making the four and a half hour flight home. The attendants help us load presents and luggage. I love a private flight. I don’t have to wait on anyone else, and I don’t have to worry about lost luggage. I follow Kip to the jet, and can hear the shouts before I hit the first step. Koi and Jessica must be making out. I laugh to myself.
Jessica storms down the stairs and runs straight into Kip. She is all kinds of pissed off.
“Let’s go! We aren’t getting on that fucking flight!” she grabs my arm as she flies by and almost gives me whiplash.
“What’s wrong, Jess?”
“He brought her!!!”
Please tell me she is talking about a different her. All the passengers descend from the jet, and approach Jessica and me.
“What do you want to do, Hen?” Koi asks.
We must be talking about the same her. Shit.
“About what?”
“About Jagger’s baby mama!” Jessica growls. She looks like she is on the verge of breaking someone in half.
Jagger approaches, and I’m forced to suffer that familiar pull I have to him, but I refuse to make eye contact.
“Henley, my mom said she would talk to your mom about this, and make sure it was okay. I figured it was a go. I am sorry if I misunderstood,” Jagger explains with almost a whisper.
Well she didn’t, and I’m sure my mom did that shit on purpose. I can’t wait to hear her reasoning behind this. Fuck me! Everyone looks at me to decide. Oh fuck it! I can’t hide forever, and I am not missing Christmas, because Jagger knocked that cunt up. I want to go home and not be delayed another minute.
“Everyone get on the jet. We are going home,” I order, and don’t miss the WTF glances my friends and brother are giving one another.
I walk onto the jet, and spot Claudia at the seat in front of the entrance. I don’t make eye contact with her, I pretend like the bitch isn’t there, because frankly she isn’t good enough to breathe the same air as I do. I manage my way to the back of the aircraft. Avoidance is good. I plop my little ass on that seat and pull out my iPod. My friends and family trickle back in and I could sense all of their eyes on me. The damn cabin is one room. There is no hiding. I ignore them all and close my eyes. I had my ear buds in so they assume I can’t hear them. No one speaks, allowing me my space to sort through my current misery.
“How lovely to see you again Claudia.” Kip says as he is the last one to board.
Oh he is an instigator, that one. It takes everything I have not to smile.
“Fuck you.”
“Now Claudia, we already discussed that wouldn’t happen between us. We will have to settle on a budding friendship.”
Oh Kip, stop it. I am going to crack up back here.
“Not in your dreams, buddy,” she snarls.
“You don’t want to know what are in my dreams because frankly it would hurt your feelings. My mama always told me if you couldn’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. I am really trying here Claudia, but you will make me upset my mom. Maybe you should take my mom’s advice too. She is an intelligent woman, and I mean she raised me.”
“Go sit down Kip,” Jagger says full of frustration.
He is sitting several seats in front of me so I don’t have to see his face. Thank you baby Jesus.
“Now Jag, Claudia and I are overcoming our differences,” Kip instigates further.
“Do you ever shut up?” Claudia asks him.
Normally, we would have all said “no” at the same time, but no one wants to speak to her, or even acknowledge her existence. Kip smiles at her with a wink in his eye and plops down on the seat next to me. He places Cash in my lap, and the pup circles into a curl, and finds sleep.
“She’s a fucking ray of sunshine. I wonder if it is the pregnancy hormones.”
Samantha and I snicker.
“You should go ask her,” Sam says instigating even further for her own entertainment.
“Perhaps I will give her some time to cool down before I am so forthcoming with the little cunt.”
I sleep during most of the flight cuddled up to Cash. I always sleep when I am a passenger on long car rides or planes. Kip wakes me right before we land, so I stretch and walk to the front of the plane to use t
he girl’s room. I splash a little water on my face to wake up and then dried it. When I step out, I sense Jagger’s eyes staring a hole in me, but I refuse to make eye contact.
I am the last one off the jet. When I emerge, our families are waiting for us. My grandfather is waiting in his Jeep. It is cold as hell in Georgia. People rarely realize how cold it gets in the South. It can get freezing, and with humid air our cold is colder than other areas. I walk past the groups of friends and their parents, avoiding the awkwardness of the looks between Jag and I. My grandfather steps out of his car, and I throw my hands around his neck.
“Hey, Sug',” he says.
“I missed you so much handsome.”
“I miss you too, Sug’.”
“Is that who I think it is with Jagger?”
“Yeah Granddaddy. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Ten-four.”
Koi and I load into the jeep and wave by to our friends. My parents and grandparents live on the same land, and Koi and I each have a home on the same acreage. We each have thirty acres each and stay close. Each of our friends will spend the day with their families and then meet up on our property tonight for drinks. Some of the parents come around too. We have horses, ATV’s, golf carts, and my grandfather has a pond on his land. There is always so much to do.
After I unpack, I make my rounds to see my other family members. My mom and dad’s house always reminds me of my happy childhood. They go all out for Christmas. When I arrive, I notice the air between my parents is tense, almost sad even. It is heavy whatever it was. They are dancing around the issue of Jagger and me, but I think it’s something more. I am enveloped in hugs by both of them, but mom returns to baking and cleaning like a maniac. This means she’s upset. Dad hands me a guitar as we sit on the porch picking, but he seems so far away. I have never seen my parents fight. How am I supposed to handle this? Maybe I should tell Koi? After dad realizes I am catching on, he complains of a headache and wants to lie down. I can’t help casting him worried glances. My parents are the most awesome parents in the world.
Guitar Face Series Box Set: Books 1-4 Page 30
