My mother and Claudia meet us at the vehicle when it’s time to go, and mom fusses after a pregnant Claudia the entire way. I’ve never seen her like this. It’s like aliens abducted my mother. Claudia smiles her evil smile at me, her horns peeking through her hair just a bit. Bitch.
My dad insists I ride up front with him, saving me from the conniving cunt in the back of the car. My mother and Claudia chat like two hens in the back of the car, but I drown them out. I need to get to my girl.
When we arrive at Red’s, dad shoots me a sympathetic smile. He pities me and the shit storm I’ve created in my life. Earlier, he told me time would be the only thing that could heal the wounds I caused Henley. Time is the one thing I don’t have. Time is the most difficult thing to give her, because with time, I need a fuck load of patience to wait around for her. I will have to be apart from her, sleep alone, and go into withdrawals from touching her beautiful skin. I don’t get to hear her laugh, or see her smile. Time is difficult to give someone, even when you are the reason they need the time. I’m not sure I can survive this. I waited so many damn years to have one little chance with her, and I do not understand now how I survived without her being mine all these years. Once I had a taste, I was ruined.
I follow my father into Red’s garage, where Henley’s father, Derek, Koi, and Kip are lounging around shooting the shit. I let my father take the lead since the Hendrix men might just kick my ass. I would deserve every lick. Dad shakes their hands, and Derek immediately sets his sights on me. He gives me a sad smile, but extends his hand to me. I take it, and he pulls me into a hug.
He holds me tight in a bro hold, and whispers, “Just give her some time. One day we’ll talk, but I know what you are going through. Come see me tomorrow.”
I nod, but I don’t let on that Koi and I’m already aware of his big secret. I’ll just let him tell me himself. His secret was never mine to share. Koi pats me on the back before he heads into the house. Kip ignores me while playing with Henley’s new puppy. Red eyes me. The old man never misses a damn thing. His eyes see it all. Sometimes I think he can see straight down to your soul.
“I’d like to talk to Jagger alone, please,” Red says, his eyes never leaving my face.
Fuck.
The men head into the house when Red announces, “Leave my granddog, Paxton.”
Kip smiles and hands the dog over to him. None of us ever have the balls to tell Red Newman no. The puppy jumps up to Red and kisses his face before nestling into the crook of his arm. He pets the pooch and smiles at him.
“You gonna make it, son?” he asks without looking at me.
“The truth?” I ask.
“I asked. I imagine the truth isn’t pretty. Bet you feel like your whole damn world is falling apart. You’ve found yourself in quite a pickle. Notoriety does something to people. Isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but they don’t know that. They want what they think they can’t have. That girl claiming to be with child is doing the best she can with what she’s got. It ain’t right, don’t make her a good person. Shit, people still amaze me at the lengths they’ll go to get close to musicians. Tell me, did you wrap it up?”
“Yes, sir. I always do,” I answer honestly.
“You get there?” he asks.
“Sir?” I ask hoping this legend is not asking what I think he is.
“You reach a means to an end, son? I need to get more graphic?” he asks.
“The answer is no to both, sir.”
“Ain’t yours, I don’t imagine.”
“No, sir, I don’t think it is. I’ve just tried to keep this out the media until I can get a paternity test once the child is born. I didn’t want this to come between Hen and I. I didn’t want her to find out that way,” I confess.
“Your heart was in the right place, and I guess you’re doing the right thing here. Damn it, but I thought I taught you boys young about women. Pussy makes the world go ‘round. Take the most rational man ever to walk this earth, and he’ll do unimaginable things just to get in between a pair of legs. Women know it, and they use that power. Can’t blame ‘em I don’t guess. Women have been shit on for years. They get a degree and still don’t make as much as a man with the same degree. The saddest part is, women got way bigger balls than we do,” he departs his wisdom on me.
“I agree. Your granddaughter has the biggest balls of them all,” I smile.
“You’re right about that. I lived through the sixties, and man it was a great time. Times were changing to things we could’ve never imagined. The whole feminist movement took the world by storm, and I guess I’d never thought about them wanting more rights. Shit was just the way it was when I was growing up. I’m a man, so I never thought about what they wanted. When my daughter was born, I finally got it a little I guess. I didn’t want her to think the only option she had was standing in some man’s kitchen barefoot, pregnant, cooking his dinner, and ironing his clothes every night. Henley changed it all though,” he sighs as memories wash over him.
“She does that. She changes everything,” I admit.
“I’ll never forget the day that tiny four-year-old girl bounced into my studio and demanded to learn how to play the guitar,” he chuckles. “Always been a fiery damn spirit. Little thing just wanted a good guitar face and figured out in her four-year-old head she needed to learn how to play to get it. She was willing to put in the work just for her very own guitar face. The guitar face was quickly forgotten once she realized she could produce music from the thing. Most people don’t know the whole story about how she learned how to play. She’ll tell you me, Buddy, and B.B. taught her how to play.”
“You didn’t?” I question. I know for damn sure those men taught her how to play.
“Girl was born with a gift, son. B.B. and I went down to the store, picked her up a Taylor, and she asked me to show her how to play ‘Twinkle, twinkle, little star.’ I thought with that choice of song, learning to play would be a fleeting thought for her, but I played the song for her anyway. When it ended she asked me to play it again, and this went on for thirty minutes. She watched every string I touched with my fingers, and how my hands moved up and down the frets. She asked me to hold it after that and don’t you know she played the entire damn song. She was four! I may have conditioned her to music, and she may have had us as influences, but didn’t nobody teach her to play the guitar. The universe put her here to do that. Got to thinking, where does this little girl fit into the music industry? Men dominate it from the CEO’s of the companies, to the producers, to the musicians. The older she got, the more I worried, and the less I worried at the same time. I didn’t want to see her hurt by all the damn ugly out there, but I if anyone could handle it, Henley could. Some women don’t know how to work hard and honestly with what they have. That’s what has you in the current situation. They can’t all be Hen.”
“You got that right.”
Silence falls between us, and the old man adjusts the puppy in his arms.
“She’s hurtin’ real bad son. Just got her back from losing Caleb. Damn near lost her forever then. Can’t do that again. You doin’ the right thing here with this baby, but you gotta let Hen know where she stands, and that not a damn thing changes how you feel about her regardless of the outcome. She’s a stubborn one, so keep that in your head and outta your heart,” he says.
“Yes, sir. Is she here?” I ask hoping he gives me the answer I want.
“She is. Keep that piece of work away from her,” he orders.
“Yes, sir.”
“How about we go see what these fools are up to inside?”
I follow Red inside the house, and hug everyone I see. Henley’s grandmother stops fussing around her kitchen long enough to hug my neck. The food smells amazing. I have to be honest; my favorite part of Christmas is this gathering each year. I leave the kitchen and emerge into the great room. I scan the room for her, but she’s nowhere in sight. I hug the necks of several other parents and frie
nds. I anxiously stare out windows and peek into other rooms to find her.
A gush of wind enters the room as Kip enters the house from the back deck. I see her before the door closes. She sits on the screened in deck, staring into space. I watch as she lights a cigarette and blows a billowing cloud of smoke from her lungs. She continues to stare in space, and even though I can see the side of her face, and she appears as lost as I do. My heart clenches in my chest. I want to reach out to her, comfort her, and promise her everything will be okay. I have no idea how long I stand there and stare at my gorgeous girl, but Koi interrupts my thoughts.
“I’m worried about her,” he says.
“It’s all my fault,” I sigh.
“Yeah, well, I have to agree with that; however, none of us can say what we would’ve done things any differently in your situation. I was mad at first, but dad told me to put myself in your shoes. It makes more sense to me now. I guess time will tell how this will all work out.”
“What do I do Koi?”
“Give her some space. Shit, I don’t know, stay in her face too. Just don’t let her forget how much you love her. That’s all the advice I’ve got for now.”
Koi and I stand side-by-side as I watch Jessica exits the house and pad her way to Henley. She laces her arm through Hen’s and places her head on her shoulder. Hen softly lays her head over on Jessica’s. She holds her cigarette out to Jessica, and she takes it. Jessica doesn’t normally smoke, but I watch her take it and inhale. She passes it back to her friend. Charlotte, Jessica’s mother, approaches the lifelong friends, and slides her arm through Henley’s other arm, and she also lays her head on my girl’s shoulder. They’re silently giving her their strength; it causes me to choke back tears. I hurt her, and that is just as evident in this moment as it was outside the baby store. I’ve torn her down and two women who love her have to restore the damage. I am the world’s biggest asshole.
She enters the house and pauses when her eyes find mine. I see her exhale a sigh, and her sad eyes glance to the floor as she continues into the room. I swear her presence sucks the oxygen out of the room. The chatter quiets down as our friends and family realize we are in the same room. She makes her way to the kitchen, and once she is out of the room the chatter begins again. I’m still staring after her like a lost puppy dog, although she is long lost to view.
Scared to run after her, I find a seat in the far corner of the room, and get lost in my thoughts.
“What the fuck, Jagger?” Samantha screams through the phone.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“What did you do? How could you not tell me? I can’t get in front of this shit!” She screams.
Oh God.
“Jagger! Fucking say something!” she screams again.
“I… I… don’t know what you are talking about,” I softly whisper hoping denial will cover me.
“You are having a fucking baby! I am your publicist, so I am supposed to know about this shit before any other soul on this fucked up planet! I can’t fix this. It’s too late! They are all over her as we speak, but luckily she is oblivious. That won’t last much longer,” she growls.
“Hen? Where’s my girl?” I ask.
“She’s at Saks with Jessica, and the media has been outside for the last two hours. She has no idea. Security at Saks is trying to keep her away from the front of the store,” she is so fucking pissed.
“I spoke to her three hours ago, shortly after they arrived to shop, how did this happen so quickly?” I can’t believe this could happen so fast.
“That bitch set you up. She told the media you knocked her up, and then she told them when you were going to a doctor’s appointment, and they have your pretty boy ass splashed all over the fucking globe coming out of an OBGYN office with her. That cunt is looking up at you like you hang the fucking moon. You hid this from me! You hid this from Henley! And the worst part is you were so fucking careless. If you were going to hide it from all of us you should’ve been more careful!” she screams even louder.
“I’m so sorry Sam. I am so fucking sorry. It might not be mine; I was just trying to wait until I found out results. I just… I couldn’t fuck up with Hen. Please tell me she doesn’t know. I’ll go to Saks and get her,” I choke on my emotion.
“You stay the fuck away from her! She will be humiliated and crucified in the media. STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER!!! I’m pissed beyond belief. I’ll call you in a few days so I can figure out what to do. Keep your ass inside your house and do not under any circumstances leave. If that motherfucker is on fire, you best put out the fire yourself and stay inside. I have to deal with the girl whose heart you are about to break in front of the entire world. What’s done is done and I can’t do anything else from here for you right now. Hen is priority. You get me?”
“Yeah. Sam… please call me and tell me how she is,” I beg.
She hangs up in my face. I break out in a sweat. How did this happen? I was with Claudia five hours ago. This happened too quickly. She set me up. The bitch set me up, no doubt forcing me to acknowledge the possibility of being a father to the world. She’s tired of playing second fiddle to Henley. Fuck! The bile rises, and I run to the bathroom where I barely make it in time to empty the contents of my stomach.
Once my stomach can no longer heave, I push back and lean against the wall. I glance around Henley’s bathroom. Her hairbrush is filled with blonde hair and is still on the counter from when she used it this morning. Her toothbrush sits next to mine, and my razor sits next to her makeup bag. This is how my life is supposed to be. My things are supposed to be intermingled into hers. Our lives are meant to be interwoven. Where will I go after this? I’m not sure if she’ll forgive me. Where will I go? How will I survive?
The doorbell brings me back to the here and now. I walk to the front of the house looking out for media, but see Koi standing in the door. Fuck! He will kill me. I sigh and open the door to face my fate at the hands of my best friend.
He stands with his hands in his pockets and looks me over as though I am a petulant child who has been caught stealing candy in a store. He doesn’t speak, and the silence weighs down on me.
I can’t take it any longer so I break it, “I didn’t want to hurt her. The bitch set me up.”
Koi rares back and punches me in the jaw. I fall back a few steps and manage not to fall. Fuck, that hurt.
“I was sent by Sam to tell you to get every fucking thing you own and get the fuck out. She doesn’t care where you go, but you can’t be here when Henley gets home,” he says so quietly it scares me.
“Please, Koi. Please, let me just stay so I can talk to her. I just need to explain,” I beg.
“Time for explaining was over when the story hit every news network in the world.”
“I’ll pack. I just need… I need to see her,” I plead.
“Don’t imagine she wants to see you right now. You have one hour to get your shit out of her house. You aren’t coming back to my house after this, so you need to find a place to go.”
He plops down on Hen’s couch and turns the television on much louder than it should be.
“Breaking news with rock-n-rolls favorite couple. It has been confirmed that Jagger Carlyle is indeed expecting a child with a woman by the name of Claudia Windsor. She’s seven months pregnant. Currently, Henley Hendrix is trapped inside of Saks in L.A. while the media camps outside waiting for her to depart. No statement has been issued from either camp, but the news has shocked fans all over the world.”
I sit quietly in the corner and wait to be called for dinner. Claudia saunters over and I cringe. I can’t stand her. She’s such a bitch. A bitch that has ruined my life. She lowers herself down beside me with a fake ass smile on her face. I can see through her bullshit.
“Hey, honey. The baby is kicking,” she says as she forces my hand onto her stomach.
I recoil in disgust. The child may be mine, but touching her makes me feel dirty. Sh
e gasps at me, and I see tears in her eyes. I’m well aware that I am a fucking prick. She forced me into all of this. I don’t want this, and I am pretty damn sure the child isn’t mine. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t have her tell the media I wouldn’t stick besides her knowing the child might be mine. I have a reputation for being a bad boy, not a fucking heartless prick. I didn’t want to deal with it. I thought waiting this out was the best thing to do. I was wrong.
I leave her before her tears get to me. I walk into the kitchen to find Henley at the far end, staring out into space. I hear her sigh and wish I could comfort her. I want to be the one who makes her world beautiful. Yet, she’s lost in her thoughts on a day of joy because of me. Her grandmother steps in front of me breaking my contact with my girl, hand goes to my cheek. Her eyes are so sad for me, and I imagine for her granddaughter.
“Not today love, not here,” she quietly whispers.
I nod in understanding and leave the kitchen. I find a place to sit in the empty dining room and wait for dinner to be served. I get lost in my thoughts of her. I am so afraid I’ll forget the way her skin feels, the way her petite body feels tucked into me at night, the way her hair smells, or how it feels when she kisses me. I am so afraid I’ll forget the sound of her voice when she tells me she loves me. I fight the tears, but am quickly brought back to the present by Claudia screaming.
“We have to learn to get along,” she says in her best grown up voice.
Shit, what is she doing?
I walk into the living room to find Henley attempting to walk away from her, and Claudia is on her heels, baiting her. She wants a confrontation.
“Stop it, Claudia,” I order her like she is a child.
“She pushed me!” Claudia shrieks and her dramatic tears form.
Guitar Face Series Box Set: Books 1-4 Page 32
