Memphis has to restrain Koi from the side of the set, because he’s bound and determined to get to his sister, who is sobbing and talking although we can’t hear her. She brings her hand to her chest and then leans down to where her chest almost touches her knees so overcome with grief at the scene before her.
At a brief pause in the music I hear her call out to him, “Caleb.”
Kip bucks me again, but Cam steps in to help.
“Not yet,” Cam tells him and Kip nods but I know if we release our hold he’ll be gone.
He’ll go straight to her and make it all go away. She needs this, and it was her decision.
An EMT lowers himself at Caleb’s head and talks to Henley. She looks so fucking confused. I’m waiting for her fall over at any moment. I almost reach out to her on the video to steady her, but Kip is already there with her.
Kip and Koi both hit their knees when she stops CPR and falls onto Caleb’s chest hysterical. If I’m honest, we all just dissolve into the floor with each other. She continues to sob on set as she’s doing on the video. We’re only afforded a brief glimpse of Kip and Jagger putting Caleb in her arms where she rocks him and cries, then the video fades into her walking away from Caleb’s body in slow motion, Kip literally right behind, Jag to her right. The look on their faces… I can’t describe to you what anguish looks like. You just know it when you see it. She turns slightly, and with slow motion still in effect she falls and Jagger catches her so she doesn’t hurt herself any more than she already is. Jagger almost falls down because he caught her dead weight when he was off guard. Kip pulls her from Jagger before he hits the ground, scoops her into his arms and to a gurney paramedics are pushing towards him.
He places her on the stretcher but screams at her. He’s being pushed out of the way by paramedics, but Kip’s not understanding. He leans down and kisses her forehead before Jagger can pull him away and restrain him. The entire clip is in slow motion and somehow makes it even more fucking tragic than it already is. Maybe because you get to see the horror broken down into increments of seconds, and not minutes. It seems to expose some of the details hidden within film.
Kip hits his knees on the video taking Jagger with him. Two men in love with the same woman fall apart with their arms wrapped around each other, and if anyone doubted they both loved her before now it’s in living color right before us. Her body is strapped onto the stretcher by paramedics and loaded into the ambulance.
The video ends and Kip pushes himself to his feet and runs to her. He drops in front of her and cups her face in his hands.
I don’t know what they say to each other since the music is still playing, but they’ve continued the effect of the flicker of old film reflecting off them. They look unreal. The rest of us stay sitting on the sidelines, tears in our eyes, and arms around each other watching the two of them.
He pulls her into his arms and kisses the top of her head. After a long moment, he pulls back and looks at her, wiping the tears from her face. He speaks to her while he slightly shakes his head, and if I know Kip he’s telling her what he thinks about her watching the video. She’ll most likely tell him to go fuck himself, and all will be right again in the world. And right as I have this thought, he presses his lips to hers and kisses her, a kiss of desperation. He was desperate for her to be okay, and now he realizes the woman is made of… whiskey and smoke, and not brittle glass, he’s okay.
I look over at Jagger who’s taking all this in with not a hint of anger or bitterness. Maybe he’s resigning himself to fate. She’s a bitch sometimes because she doesn’t cave into our every want and desire. She’s not easily bent, never broken. Fate cannot be forced. I believe there’s some higher power out there that can lead you to the most ideal situations or incredibly stupid ones depending on how you choose to use your head and heart. He thought Henley was the one for him, but one day in the future, he’ll meet a beautiful woman who doesn’t make him so crazy. She’ll love him like Kip loves Henley and like Henley loves Kip. Not the bitter, toxic shit that Jag and Hen shared. Nah, he’ll have what Kipley has, and when he finds her, the one, he’ll understand why he’s not supposed to be with Henley. I finally see a smile cross his face as he continues to watch on. Maybe he’s already halfway there.
***
Kip
I stand outside the set waiting for it to be broken down and reassembled for the next scene. I watch Henley from the area everyone has congregated in to eat pizza. I dried her eyes and cheeks as soon as the video was over. You wouldn’t know by looking at her this instant she relived the most traumatic moments of her life just two hours ago. She’s smiling and there seems to be an easiness about her that wasn’t there three hours ago.
I didn’t get it at first, but looking at her now I understand why she watched it. It was two-fold, her purpose. There are so many things she didn’t know, and I allowed her to stay in the dark about regarding that night. Things that pertained to Jagger and I. I think she thought she was watching the video to find peace I think, but she discovered so much more.
She knew we were both there, but she never realized what we went through. She wasn’t being selfish, she was too consumed by her own grief to realize others were going through it too. She was too weighed down with despair to see we’d almost lost her too, and we felt it every fucking day. In many ways, we lost her. She was gone, only a shell of her former self. For four years I watched her struggle to wake up every day. Sometimes she was so lost in herself that she didn’t hear you speaking to her for hours at a time. The days when I would visit her and find she’d slept for days on end, not bathed or eaten, I’d carry her from the bed to the bath. After I bathed her, I’d force food and water in her. It took her over six years to get here, to point she is at today.
I don’t think people realize what she lost that day, hell what we all lost that day. Caleb was kind-hearted, selfless, talented, and humble. He was always helping people, and if you needed help because you were in trouble or needed advice because you were struggling, he was the one we all went to. He was old soul, wise beyond his years and he’d been that way since we were kids. He didn’t get angry, let shit roll right off his back. And man he loved. He loved human beings in general with a charitable heart I’ve not seen since. Each of us lost a part of our souls the day his spirit left this earth. I know he’s still here, shit I feel him now, but he’s gone just the same.
But Hen and Caleb, man those two were… Red always called them “twin souls”. His people believe each time a soul is created, another half of you is created in the opposite gender form. They burn the same energy, at the same frequency, and reincarnate into this world at the same time. He believes sometimes you live this lifetime with that soul, and sometimes you don’t quite find them. If one dies before the other, it’s said to be debilitating because part of you is literally gone, missing. If you’d ever seen them play music together, there’d be no doubt in your mind that a spiritual connection existed, something I’ll never fully understand beyond what I experience with her personally. Today it feels like she’s whole again. I know she dreams of him often, so maybe she realizes he’s still a part of her, not really any further from her than she allows him to be.
Her purpose today was also self-sacrificing. She did this for me. The one thing that could produce the type of emotion Chauncey was asking for was remembering that fateful night. The only thing that can break her soul completely in two, literally, is watching the whole ordeal from another point-of-view. She did it for me. I don’t know if she feels the words I wrote for her, but I’m pretty sure she does. Ever since she’s found out about the song, she its biggest fan, which is only fitting seeing as how it’s her song. She gave me part of herself today while she also found the missing half of her. She did it for love and for art.
“I’m so fucking pissed at you,” I said as I dropped to my knees in front of her.
I wipe her tears and pull her to me, needing to know she was okay. I need to touch her to
know.
“Kip, you didn’t tell me! You… I thought… Jesus Christ you never told me what it was like for you. I knew you were there, but the memories I have are of Jagger. You didn’t tell me,” she sobs.
“I didn’t tell you what?”
“You didn’t tell me how you felt. You felt it then. I saw it on your face.”
I pull back and look at her, wiping more tears.
“It was also written all over Jagger’s face, Hen. We were living the same fucked up experience with the same feelings for the same woman. Did you want me to jump in front of Jagger when you went on tour with us last year? Did you want me to fall on my knees and beg you to be mine?” I ask.
She looks as confused as I felt during the time in question.
“Would it have done a bit of good? If I’d begged you to be mine? If I’d told you how I felt?”
She shakes her head not sure what she wants to say.
“It wouldn’t have made a difference. Sometimes we’re meant to be with a person during a certain time of our lives so we can grow and make better choices at a later time. Sometimes we’re meant to be with a person, but not right now. We’re not meant to be with them until we’ve grown and become the person we’re supposed to be when we’re with them. You can’t force a tree to grow, Hen. You can’t plant it and expect it to be strong. It has to weather storms and disasters and grow long roots to hold it down. The more roots it grows the more storms and disasters the tree can survive. You feel me?”
“Yeah,” she smiles.
I push my lips to her and show her how I feel because words rarely do justice to feelings like these.
“Jagger?” she asks when I pull away.
“Jagger will find his way. I think he’ll eventually get it,” I reassure her.
“I hope so,” she says because she doesn’t want to hurt him.
Chauncey interrupts my flashback, “She did good. Glad to see she’s still standing strong.”
I smile at her from across the room when her eyes meet mine.
“Takes a hell of a lot to knock that one down.”
“Some women are tough as nails,” he says and nods towards her.
“Nah, that one is tough as whiskey and smoke,” I smile at him.
Chapter 26
Henley
“It’s time,” Chauncey interrupts my conversation with Koi.
Koi bursts into laughter, “You’re doing a love scene with Paxton.”
“What’s so funny?” I ask.
“You and Kip,” he says and stands to throw his plate away.
“You going to explain that?”
“When I figure it out for myself I guess I will,” he says with a wink and then he’s gone.
“You ready?” Kip calls from behind.
I turn to see him standing with his hands in jeans looking all… fuck me. That explains it right? I don’t really have any other words.
“Mother fucker, do me proud!” Rhys yells.
Cam growls at Kip and gives him a glare.
“Did I act like this when you defiled sweet Kathrine?” Kip asks.
“Kip… I swear on everything I love if you hurt her I’ll kill you. I won’t watch another Jagger catastrophe,” Cam threatens.
“Cam!” Kathrine scolds.
“I should’ve defiled you first,” Kip says to Kathrine.
I giggle as I watch him push Cam’s buttons.
“I’ll kill you, remember that. In your sleep… with sharp objects,” Cam finally cracks a smile.
“Come here and hug it out, you hurt my feelings,” Kip says.
Cam glares at him and then smiles before they do that whole man hug thing.
Kathrine hugs Kip’s neck, and he picks her up for a spin before setting her to rights.
“Sharp objects, Paxton!” Cam yells as Kathrine pushes him from the building.
“You do me proud,” Meghan mimics Rhys before she hugs us and leaves.
“This isn’t awkward at all,” I say to Kip.
He laughs a big belly laugh.
“I feel like one of those young girls villages offer to the high priest as the sacrificial virgin or some shit,” I admit. “It feels like everybody is saying goodbye, like they’ll never see me again.”
“Oh girl, once you go Kip you never wanna another dick! When you leave here, everyone will know you’ve touched my wanker and that you’re ruined for all other men,” he says while snapping his fingers.
“I’m so jealous right now,” Jessica says and I cock an eyebrow at her. “What? It’s all those tattoos, and that hair we…”
“Shut up,” I say.
“No. No don’t shut up,” Kip commands.
“Oh, bossy. Mama can get down with that,” she flirts.
“Jessica,” he warns.
“No,” I say.
“She was talking dirty about me wasn’t she?” he asks her.
“Jessica was talking dirty about you,” I admit.
“Oh bitch please I was just saying exactly what you were thinking. You should’ve seen her face when I said,” she attempts.
“Shut the fuck up,” I interrupt.
Kip wraps an arm around me and covers my mouth with his hand.
“Nuh-uh. Do. Not. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Carry on, love,” he prompts her.
I glare at her. Payback is a bitch.
“Well, you see, what had happened was… we were talking about you and I was commenting on how sexy your ass is and that I might possibly be nursing somewhat of a teeny, tiny crush on you,” she starts.
“Too wordy,” Kip interrupts.
She sighs and rolls her eyes, “Okay. She was telling me she would be in this video, I told her we kissed when we were sixteen and that you made my toes curl which got her attention.”
“Uh-uh,” Kip moves her on.
“She was gushing about your song and I said you could sing a woman into an orgasm. We discussed your killer body and how sexy you look when you’re drumming. I also believe something was mentioned about you being God’s gift to women. Also, that you could probably fuck a woman like a whore and make love to her at the same time. Annnnnnnddddd…. You serenade vaginas with a guitar, and there was this bit about your hair hanging down in your face while you pound into a woman. And then Hen said for me to stop talking about it because it was turning her on and that sex with men got her in trouble.”
“Good thing my middle name is trouble,” he says and I roll my eyes.
I finally break away from him, “Bitch you said all that shit!”
She laughs.
“Doesn’t matter, you were there. Same difference. Tell me Jess, was there a pillow fight involved?” he asks.
“Oh I’m sure I remember us pillow fighting in our panties and bras,” she lies.
“Fuck me,” he responds and then picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.
“Payback you whore!” I scream while I’m upside down on Kip’s fabulous body.
He doesn’t place me back on my feet until we’re in my dressing room.
“Robe. Now. Meet me on the set,” he commands.
“You are kinda bossy when you’re horny. I’ve noticed it’s a theme,” I state.
“You have no idea,” he gives me a seriously sexy glare.
Oh daddy.
“Robe,” he points to it and walks out.
I take everything off except my panties because I’m not having sex with Kip for the first time on camera. What a story for the grandkids, huh?
I walk onto set and see Kip is standing in boxers by a large bed covered in white sheets. I stop in my tracks when I see all that skin on display… yup, instant creaming taking place in the panties. Where were my eyes at all these years? He’s talking to Chauncey and not paying me any attention which is just fine by me. I could stand here all day and look at him. Okay, not all day, eventually I will need some relief here. Fire down below!
He finally turns and s
miles when he sees me and then does that thing with his head where he motions me to come over to him. It’s sexy. I make my way to the bed and sit on it to wait for wardrobe to bring my wings and attach them.
When they show, I disrobe but slide it to cover my boobs. No sense in showing everyone for free when they can purchase the sex tape.
Wardrobe ensures the wings are secure since we’ll be moving around on a bed. Kip’s already sitting on the bed when I turn around. I’m instructed to climb onto his lap and straddle him where some chick takes the robe from me leaving me exposed.
Kip pulls me to his chest, so all anyone sees is side boob. The girl then pushes my boy shorts down as low as they’ll go and drapes a sheet around both of our waists. She pushes her fingers into the back of Kip’s boxers and pushes them down so they don’t show. I growl before I realize what I’ve done.
Kip laughs and whispers in my ear, “Jealous?”
“Territorial.”
“It’s hot.”
“Good.”
“Goes both ways,” he says.
“As it should.”
Chauncey shouts instructions to the staff that’s been allowed on set for this.
“Henley, Kip, you’ll, well you’ll pretend to make love,” he announces.
“Got it,” Kip says. “Can we get some Lil Wayne going in here? I need a beat to keep up to. Rhythm is very important, Chauncey. Can’t have people thinking I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“We’re shooting a love scene not porn, Kip,” Chauncey replies.
“Same difference,” Kip retorts.
“Uh, no it’s not,” Chauncey feeds into it.
Guitar Face Series Box Set: Books 1-4 Page 83
