Her blonde hair frames her baby doll face complete with long eyelashes and pouty lips. She looks peaceful, which is the opposite of how I feel.
"Was it really bad?" Jagger asks.
"After talking to Cory tonight, yeah it was."
"Fuck," Koi says.
I undress and climb into the bunk with her and Cash. I pull her into my arms and hold on for dear life.
Chapter 22
Kip
Two Week Later
I roll over and reach for Henley, pulling her into my arms. Sometime in the night she rolled away from me. It's become a common practice in the last few weeks. She's still quiet. There's no anger or tears, just quiet. She speaks very little and offers no insight. She's locked in her own head.
Each time I wake and she's not in my arms, I bring her back to where she belongs.
She turns in my arms, facing me and her eyes flutter open only close again as sleep takes her under again.
Fuck she's so god damn gorgeous it hurts to look at her. I get the same pain my chest
each time I look at her. The same damn pain I've had since I was a boy.
"I love you," I whisper and place a kiss on her forehead.
"I love you too," she whispers back.
"I miss you."
"I'm right here,” she says and opens her eyes.
"No, baby you're not. What’s going on in that head of yours?"
"A lot of fucked up shit I haven't quite worked out yet," She answers.
"When are you going to scream at me? Tell me I failed you? That I wasn't there when you needed me most?"
"I'm not mad at you, Kip."
"You should be."
"You didn't do anything wrong. We were all drinking. It wasn't even supposed to be me. If it had been Tabithia you wouldn't be feeling this way," she smiles a sad smile.
"She's not mine to protect."
I turn onto my back and look at the ceiling. I feel angry that she's not angry. I fucked up. I didn't do my job as her man. She could've fucking died. I throw the covers off and almost jump out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asks.
"Taking a piss."
I enter the bathroom and relieve myself. I wash my hands and then throw some water on my face. I take a look in the mirror and don't like the guy I'm looking at. This is not the guy that would've given his left nut to be with Henley, to only have the chance to love her. I'm a fucking idiot.
I take a deep breath and try to let it go. The red hot anger I feel for myself and for the man who did this. I remember the words Cory uttered to me that have haunted me since he spoke them.
"Her eyes man, that's what killed me. They were wide open and she was terrified. She couldn’t blink, or speak, or help herself. She knew what was happening and couldn't even close her fucking eyes to escape or sleep. Wide fucking open."
I open the door to find her sitting up in bed.
"You should be mad. Tell me, when you were lying on that bathroom floor with your eyes wide open unable to move and vomiting, what were you thinking about?”
"Kip..."
"Tell me. Please."
She's silent for a beat.
"I was thinking I didn't want to die that way... and I was wondering where you were. I just wanted you."
"And who found you?"
"Cory."
"Who cleaned you up?"
"Cory and Joe."
"Who kept you from choking on your own puke?"
"Cory."
"Cory said your eyes were wide open but he could see the fear in them, so who did you see when you were terrified, baby?"
She sighs, "Cory and Joe."
"Who got you out safely and took care of you?"
"Cory, Joe, and Jessie.
"Not once did you say my name. You wondered where I was, right?"
Her eyes leave mine in an attempt to avoid any more of the conversation.
"Hen, if it was me in a position where I couldn't speak or move and I was sick and scared I'd wonder where you were because you'd be the only person I'd need by my side. Did you wonder where I was the entire time you were going through this?"
"Yes."
"I wasn't there Hen because I was plastered. I was so drunk I didn't realize you were gone because I was dancing with two other women from our group. I was so lost in the intoxication, nothing else mattered except the feeling of total bliss. Not even you not being the one that was grinding on me mattered. Then I was ushered into a car before I was ready to leave and I was bitching about it the whole way out. I was too worried about getting one last drink to keep my high going to worry about why you weren't by my side. When I realized you weren't in the SUV we were almost back at the hotel. I finally wondered where you were because I was horny and wanted to fuck. That's why I missed you. Then I realized something was wrong and pitched a fucking fit because I realized I lost something and something may have happened to you and not knowing killed me, but it wasn't enough to keep me from passing out because I was shit faced. You should be mad because while you were scared to death and wondering where I was and why I wasn't the one holding you, I was only thinking about my damn self."
I take her in and watch her mouth move but no words come out.
"Yeah. There's not much you can say to that, is there?"
I turn on my heel and walk to the door.
"Where are you going?" She asks.
"I need some air."
I didn't even realize she was out of the bed until the door is pushed from my hand and slammed shut.
"No. You don't get to start this shit and then walk away," she says.
"All I get is silence. You get that right because it happened to you, but I'm so fucking pissed and you not being pissed is driving me fucking crazy. I need you to be angry and tell me all about it. I need to be fucking punished for being a selfish bastard and not the man I promised you I would be."
"No."
"No?"
"You don't get to dictate how I feel or how I handle it just because it will make you feel better. You don't get to walk away from me. You don't get to punish yourself for something that was out of your control. I'm not punishing you either dammit! It's not like you went to bed not giving a fuck where I was or not noticing I was missing. We were all hammered. I drank so much I got sick. I did that! No one else. I didn't roofie myself but I would've never been sick had I not have poured all that alcohol down my own throat. I put myself in that position!" She says with tears in her eyes.
"I wasn't fucking there!" I yell.
"So you're not going to be here now? You're just going to walk out?!!"
Fuck. She does need me. Her silence wasn't because of me but for me. She didn't want me to know she blamed herself.
"It wasn't your fault."
"It was."
I close the small gap that separates us and cup her face in my hands.
"You let me take that guilt on baby doll. This isn't on you."
"No. It's not your fault. I drank too much and vomited. It's not my fault some asshole roofied the drink, but it is my fault I drank too damn much."
"You didn't want to go out, and I pressured you. That's on me."
"I am a grown ass woman. I am capable of saying no."
"I should've listened."
"I should've made you listen."
I smile at her. She's going to argue this shit to the death.
She smiles back.
"Sometimes it hurts to look at you. You're so fucking gorgeous. When you sleep I look at your face and memorize how long your eyelashes are, how plump your lips are how defined your cheek bones are and how your heart shaped face fits so well in my hands."
"I love you. You can't change that. Stop trying to."
"How about if I try to make sure you never stop?" I ask and lean down to take her mouth.
For the next two hours I move inside of her. There isn't a spot on her body I don't kiss or touch. I take my t
ime as I build her up over and over again. If I could live inside of her I would. This is my happy
place. Not the fucking, but the times where I connect to her on a spiritual level where our bodies are so intertwined that I forget we’re two separate people.
***
Jagger
“Would you get your ass out here so we can get this shit done?” I ask to Kip who is lollygagging around.
I look out into the auditorium to see Tabithia surrounded by the other females on tour. She smirks at me when she catches me looking and the smirk goes straight to my dick. I look away and pretend not to have noticed her.
“They want you out here on the acoustic for I’m Still Waiting,” I tell Kip as he walks onto the stage.
He grins at me with his classic mischievous grin. I swear the man is always up to something. He could charm the pants off a nun. He never ceases to make me laugh.
Kip grabs his guitar and takes the stool placed center stage for him.
“Good evening, ladies,” he says with a low growl into the mic.
The girls hoot and holler for him like fan girls.
“So glad y’all could come out this evening,” he talks to them like he’s at a concert.
They make some more noise for him.
“I wrote this song for the love of my life,” he continues and all the women audibly sigh.
I don’t sigh. I roll my eyes at the idiot.
He sings the song, stopping to make adjustments with the sound technician.
Jessie walks on stage and hands Kip a piece of paper for wardrobe schedule tonight.
“Who the fuck is this?” Kip asks and pushes his finger into the paper.
“Tabithia,” Jessie answers.
“Tabby Cat,” Kip addresses her as she sits out in the stadium, “Somebody fucked up the spelling, of your name.”
“I’m well aware,” Tabithia speaks loud enough for Kip to hear.
“You poor little thing,” he looks on with sympathy.
She raises an eyebrow in question.
“You’ve spent your entire life with a misspelled name. That’s so fucked up… I can only imagine the identity issues you have. We have to fix this!” he proclaims.
“I think I’m good,” she nods as she attempts to humor Kip.
“Look at her, Jag. She’s so battered and broken down,” Kip says to me.
“She looks like she might fall apart any minute now,” I play along.
“Quick! Go comfort her, Jagger. She’s a damsel in distress and needs saving by a knight in… well blue jeans and an awesome vintage Pink Floyd shirt, if I do say so myself,” he looks at my shirt with envy.
I raise my eyebrows at his little coy play into my love life.
He strums the guitar and sings, “There was a girl who once gave me the wrong name. I’d looked deep into her eyes and she gave me lies. I’ll never be the same. Oh, how she hurt my soullllllll. She likes to play with brushes and colors, Making all the stars sparkle. She’s just a girl trying to make a dollar. But she’s still a girl with the wrong name. I’m not sure what her mama was thinking, but I know a grammatical error when I see one. Tab-i-the-a! Oh Tab-i-the-a! We need to change the spelling of your name. Tab-i-the-a! Oh Tab-i-the-a! I feel like I don’t know you anymore. Tab-i-the-a! Oh Tab-i-the-a! We should change your name to Tabby Cat. Tab-i-the-a! Oh Tab-i-the-a! How come Jagger got the vintage Pink Floyd shirt? Tab-i-the-a! Oh Tab-i-the-a! I feel betrayed by you. Tab-i-the-a! Oh Tab-i-the-a! I know it’s not your fault, you’re just a girl with a misspelled name,” he holds out the last words as long as he can.
As stupid as the song was, his voice sounded great, and he put a huge smile on everyone’s face. Tabithia’s laugh looks carefree and genuine from the stage.
The women rush the stage and pretend to be fans. Rhys, Griffin, Koi, and Cam join in on the fun. They jump up with their hands raised waiting for Kip to come by and touch them. He wouldn’t be Kip if he didn’t indulge them, so he vacates the stool and runs down the line of beautiful women and musicians as he touches their hands.
“I’m never washing my hand again!” Koi says in a feminine voice.
“OMG! Kip Paxton just touched my hand!” Cam says like a teenage girl.
“I cannot wait to post this on Twitter!” Griffin jumps up and down like a girl.
“He looked right at me! He wants to have sex with me!” Rhys adds and bats his eyes.
“Bruh,” Kip says with a frown on his face. “You took shit too far.”
“Everyone knows you want to fuck me,” Rhys shrugs his shoulders.
Cory doubles over in laughter as Kip takes in Rhys’s statement.
“Who the fuck told you that?” Kip asks. “If I was going to fuck a man, it would be Jagger or Koi. Maybe even Cory,” he ends with a devious grin.
“The fuck?” Cory stops laughing immediately and asks.
“What’s wrong with me?” Cam asks and feigns offense.
“You seem like you’d be a little bitch,” Kip tells Cam.
“What?” Cam asks.
“I like it rough, honey bear. I don’t think you could handle it,” he answers Cam.
All eyes go between Kip and Henley who are now smiling like lovesick jack asses at one another.
“I have heartburn now,” Cory says and rubs his chest.
“I just threw up in my mouth,” Koi says as he looks between them.
“I think it’s so sweet,” Tabithia says and I take a good look at her.
She’s looking at Kip and Henley like women look at babies. Damn, she wants that.
I shake my head and follow Kip off stage.
***
Kip
A few hours later, I meet with the men and Samantha. We have a few beers in the hotel bar and shoot the shit while the women are enjoying the spa.
“Bruh, have you seen the tits on Hillary?” Koi asks.
“Yes I have,” Samantha answers with a grin.
“I bet she’s like a quadruple D,” Rhys adds.
“No such thing. She might be an E cup,” Samantha corrects.
“They make those things that fucking big?” Rhys asks.
“Tits or bras?” Jagger asks.
“Fuck, both I guess.”
“I wonder what those tits look like while I fuck her from behind,” Koi says while he stares off in space.
“Jesus Christ, man. Go to your room. Your chub is going to take up this side of the table,” I say with a laugh.
“Anything in her employment contract that says I can’t fuck her?” Koi asks Samantha.
“Nope,” Samantha smiles. “I wouldn’t let beautiful women work this tour with a clause like that. Too much rock-and-roll and sex. Shit is bound to happen. They do however sign a non-disclosure.”
“Smart woman,” Jagger compliments.
“Where’s Meghan?” Memphis asks Samantha.
The whole table snickers.
“What?” Memphis asks.
“Bruh, I can’t stand to be in a room with you two. I swear I feel dirty as fuck by the time I get away from y’all. All those damn dirty ass thoughts cloud up the energy in my body,” Cam says.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Memphis says with a grunt of finality.
“Right. So it wasn’t Meghan’s name you were groaning while you were jacking your tool on the bus the other night?” Rhys accuses.
“Fuck you, man,” Memphis fires back.
“Speaking of sexual tension, what’s up with you and Tabby Cat?” I ask Jagger with a knowing smile.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit,” Samantha calls him out.
He rubs his face and leans back in his chair, “Man, she is… fucking gorgeous. Those eyes suck me in and I think about what my cock would look like in her mouth…”
“Too much,” Sam cuts him off.
“Right… and you think I don’t notice the way your eyes always seem to find Jami
e in the room?” Jagger asks.
Sam sighs and orders a shot.
“Damn woman. That bad?” I ask.
“I want to tie her up and spank her ass every time she challenges me. I get wet just thinking how red I could make her tight little ass. I bet she’s a screamer, but that’s okay. I have a ball gag I can place in that pretty little mouth to keep her quiet. Then, I want to blindfold her so I can lick her pussy for days,” Samantha says dreamily as she stares off into the distance.
You could hear a pin drop. She just gave me chub.
“God damn, girl,” Jagger says with pride on his face.
“Thought about it a time or two, huh?” Koi asks with a grin.
We all laugh loudly and Sam flips us the bird.
“Don’t think you’re excluded from this conversation,” I tell Cory.
“Kip, sometimes I want to cause you bodily harm,” he retorts.
“It’s all that sexual frustration you’ve got pinned up in you,” I say.
“Yeah. You and Jessie, huh?” Memphis asks.
“Shut the fuck up,” Cory gets defensive.
“Hit a sensitive spot,” Koi chuckles.
“Not gonna happen,” Cory says.
“Right,” I say sarcastically.
“Funny, since she’s been on tour you are polite enough to clear everything with her and keep her in the loop. Didn’t you used to send Joe to do that?” Jagger jabs.
“Fuck you,” Cory says and lifts his beer to his mouth.
“I like when he’s talking to her, and she runs her hands through her hair over and over again, or touches his arm. I don’t think you’re the only one feeling this, bruh,” Koi declares.
“My favorite part is when she walks away. Man, you don’t take your eyes off her ass until she’s out of sight. I can see the dirty thoughts going through your head,” Griffin says.
“Have you seen the woman?” Cory asks.
“Fucking gorgeous,” Griffin says.
Samantha laughs a little too loudly.
“What?” Koi asks.
“I’m sitting with a bunch of rock stars who are catching feelings for the women working on this tour, and all of you are pussies. Too damn scared to make a move,” Samantha lays the truth on them.
Guitar Face Series Box Set: Books 1-4 Page 111
