I hold my pinky in front of her face, moving it around until she wraps hers around mine. This is something Maverick and I have done since we were kids, the gesture eventually involving Selma once she’d joined our duo and made it a trio.
Selma and I both bite down on our thumbs, sealing our pinky promise before our hands drop to our laps.
“Lily?” Selma asks, looking at me intently.
“Yeah?”
“You don’t settle for anything else either, okay? You need someone to combat that sassy personality we all love. Not someone who will try to dampen it. You deserve a man you’re absolutely head over heels for.”
For some reason, Aspen’s face pops into my head. I wipe it from my thoughts just as quickly as it came, not trying to read too far in to why it was his face I saw. “You bet your ass I won’t settle. I mean, I’m Lily Morrison. I deserve the freaking best.”
The two of us spend the day in bed, watching cheesy movies and having girl talk. I try to be a good support for my best friend, knowing she’s about to do something that’ll change her world. But, there’s still a sinking feeling in my stomach on what it’ll do to Maverick. I can only hope they both come out of this breakup as people who understand what it really means to fall madly in love.
And then I remind myself that one day, I’ll have the same kind of love I’ve been preaching about to Selma. One day I’ll fall in love with a man who’s as desperate for me as I am him.
Someday.
It’s much later in the day, after Selma goes home, when one simple text message has me reading into something else I shouldn’t be.
Aspen: How are you feeling, Zombie Bear? I shut the curtains in your room this morning. Didn’t want your poor roommates to feel the wrath of a tired and hungover Lily. Hope you were able to sleep.
Throwing me off once again, Aspen proves that he’s capable of paying attention to someone other than himself. Somehow, he remembered that I can’t sleep in if there’s any daylight in my room.
And I hate that this small gesture makes a big impact on me.
I hate that I love it.
26
Aspen
Present
“Would you like another?” The bartender eyes me as he dries off a mug, his eyes wandering down to my own drink, which is now empty.
I sigh, wondering if another beer is a good idea. I trace the lines in the condensation around my glass. “Nah,” I finally reply, leaning back on the barstool. “I should probably get back up to my room.” I rub my hands over my face slowly, scratching at the stubble that’s already grown out today.
Blaine fucking Wilcox.
That asshole is the reason I’m sitting alone at the hotel bar as Lily sits in the room upstairs. When I talked to Veronica about Lily, never once did she mention that Lily still talked to Blaine. And not only is she talking to him, she’s telling him that she misses him.
She misses him. The words sting as I replay them in my head. And as if my plan wasn’t already falling to shit around me, she dismissed me to Blaine as if I were a fucking nobody.
“Oh, it’s no one.”
No one? What the flying fuck is going on right now?
“Should I just charge it to your room?” the bartender asks, as he takes my empty mug.
All I do is nod, stepping off the stool and finding the courage to go back up to the room.
I swear to all that is holy, if she’s still on the phone with Blaine when I get back up there, I might blow a damn gasket.
My phone vibrates from inside my pocket. I want to ignore it, but it could be V responding to my text from earlier.
Aspen: Wtf, V. Lily talks to Blaine?
Veronica: Uhhh…what?
My fingers hammer at my touchscreen as I make my way to the elevator.
Aspen: Lily…Blaine…they talk. What happened to the fucking plan?
Veronica: That’s news to me. It’ll all be fine. Stop being dramatic. It’s not a cute look for you.
I shove my phone back into my pocket, not wanting to deal with her either. She might be one of my best friends, but right now, I need someone who’ll let me be dramatic. The chime on the elevator dings, the doors opening right after. I step in and push the button for the floor we’re staying on. I hesitantly pull the room key out of my pocket once I step out of the elevator and head toward our room, giving myself a mental pep talk to prepare myself in case Lily’s still on the phone with Blaine.
As I stand outside our door, I can hear music blasting from inside. If we weren’t in bachelorette party central—AKA Nashville—I might’ve worried her loud music would disrupt the neighbors, but it’s just as loud out on the streets.
I swipe the card in front of the keypad and then push the door open. I’m met with a dancing Lily. A pop music video is playing on the TV, and I watch, captivated, while she tries to mimic the people on the screen—all while balancing an almost-empty bottle of wine. Her hips sway in tune to the couple on the screen. The hand not holding a bottle of wine traces down the slope of her stomach as the man in the music video does the same to the woman he’s dancing with. I recognize the guy as Nash something. Lily and Selma used to be obsessed with a boyband he was in, and now that he’s on his own, I’ve become all too familiar with his songs.
I can’t say that the music sounds half-bad when her hips fall in perfect sync with the chords.
It takes her a few moments to notice I’m there. She startles, mid-dance-step, and covers her chest with the bottle.
“And where have you been?” she shouts over the music. “With Giselle?”
I walk a few steps into the room to grab the remote from the desk and turn down the music enough so I can hear myself think.
“That was the world premiere of Nash Pierce’s new music video. How dare you ruin my dance party! I was totally vibing with that video. Leave me with Nash and go find Giselle.”
I give her a clipped response at the childish face she’s making. “Not happening.” I take a step closer to her, and she takes a step back. She backs away far enough that her bare calves eventually hit the end of my bed. I continue to step closer until I’m towering over her. After I grab the bottle from her hand, I bring it to my lips, letting the sweet flavor linger in my throat before swallowing.
Lily watches me carefully as I take a few gulps of it. The wine isn’t my favorite, the sweet red a little too sweet for my taste, but I know it’s hers. And right now, I’ll drink anything to take the edge off. I pull the bottle away from my lips, using the back of my hand to wipe at my mouth.
After handing the bottle back to her, she puts the bottle to her lips and tips it back, gulping down the last bit until the empty bottle is still tilted. She looks like she’s trying to savor every last nonexistent drop. I can’t help but fixate on her lips, at the way they’ve turned a perfect shade of purple. Lily even goes as far as copying me by using the back of her hand to wipe her mouth off.
I want to be the one to rid her mouth of wine stains.
The thought jostles me.
“How was your time with Giselle?” she asks.
I don’t miss the way she keeps pronouncing Giselle with disdain, as if she clearly doesn’t like the girl I’ve barely interacted with.
I decide not to play into her game quite yet. I’m going to let her think whatever the hell she wants. My voice is low when I ask, “Does it matter?”
“No. Yes?” Her eyes dart over my face frantically, as if I should have the answer she’s looking for. Her shoulders lift in a slow shrug. “I don’t know.”
My body gravitates toward her on instinct. With our close proximity, I can tell she’s removed all the earlier makeup from her face. I can smell the soap on her—lilac, the same soap she’s always used. I pull on the string of her hoodie. “Why would it matter, Lily?”
It could be my mind playing tricks on me, but I swear she leans closer to me. “Were you with her?” She slowly takes her gaze away from where my fingers still grasp the string of her hoodie, landing
on my face.
I would give my left nut to know what’s going through her head at this very moment. The way her eyes cautiously scan my face does something to my chest.
In this moment, there aren’t any walls up between us. We aren’t hiding behind insults and jokes, behind façades we’ve put in place to preserve our hearts. We’re being real—and I wish it could be like this forever.
I’m tired of the games. I want the prize.
I want her. I just don’t know how to tell her that. I’m too scared to tell her that.
Old habits die hard, because I feel the urge to lie to her, to tell her I was with Giselle. I want to make her hurt the way I had when I heard her talking to Blaine. But if I’m ever going to convince this woman to let her barrier down for good with me, I have to do my part. “I was alone, Lily. Completely alone.”
Lily works her bottom lip between her teeth so hard it’s starting to turn red. This habit of hers has sent blood pumping to my dick for years. I pull it out from between her teeth, my gaze flicking down to her wine-stained lips. I look away, trying to ignore my racing heart.
“Why were you talking to Blaine?” The question that’s been flooding my mind the last hour is finally out in the open. I remind myself to breathe as I wait for her answer.
“Because I’m allowed to talk to whoever I want to,” she quips.
I guess she isn’t in the mood to share. And I won’t beg her to.
“Did you mean it?” The words escape my lips quickly as I step away from her, needing space. I let my body fall onto my bed, my gaze not wavering from hers.
She slowly turns around, her dark eyebrows pulling together in confusion. “Mean what?”
My jaw clenches, working back and forth. “When you told Ed that at one point you thought we’d be together.”
Lily doesn’t answer at first. Her bare feet pace against the carpet as she thinks through my answer. Her hands find her hips, scrunching up her sweatshirt enough until her sleep shorts peek through. “So you heard that conversation? I should have known.”
She lets out a long breath, her gaze locking me in place. “Yes, isn’t that the story for every good cheesy plot? Girl falls for brother’s best friend and they live happily ever after? But that was just a silly hope and dream for us. Reality hadn’t hit me yet that we weren’t meant to work. We were fire. Wild and passionate, but only for a short amount of time. We couldn’t burn forever. Fires eventually have to burn out.”
She gestures between the two of us. “And we…we were lit one moment and doused in water the next. I guess that’s why after everything happened, it hurt so bad.”
“Do you remember when we snuck into the park?” I question, standing up to grab another bottle of wine from the desk.
Lily’s eyes widen, and she backs away from me before plopping down on her bed, where she pulls her bare legs into a crisscross position. “Of course,” she mutters, her eyes darting away from mine. “Do you?” she accuses, as if that night and the nights we shared after were something I could ever forget.
I wish I could be completely honest with her, tell her the few intimate moments we shared are forever ingrained in my mind. But it’s too soon, and I doubt she’d ever believe me anyway.
I have to think about the aftershock of my words.
So instead, I give her a partial truth, one she can take as she will. “Yeah, I do, Lil. I remember it all.”
27
Aspen
Past - Age Twenty-Two
This is a fucking disaster. A hot mess express of epic proportions.
If looks could kill, there would be multiple hot-blooded males from this circle dead—including some of my own friends.
When I first suggested an innocent game of spin the bottle, I didn’t expect Lily to want to play. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I threw out the terrible idea. I was really just trying to push Maverick and Veronica together, the two of them too busy wallowing in their own shit to admit they want each other. But my dumbass hadn’t thought through the fact that Lily was at this party. And Lily doesn’t back down from anything.
The girl talking to me outside of the circle is rambling on about something I haven’t paid attention to for a solid minute. I’m too busy staring at the slowly forming circle, my eyes trained on Lily. She smiles sweetly at some cockbag next to her (my former friend).
I try to make eye contact with Maverick, who’s sitting on Lily’s other side, but he’s too busy staring at Veronica. While I appreciate that he might finally be coming to terms with his feelings for Veronica—all it took was a small pep talk from yours truly—I need his brotherly instincts to kick in and scare the shit out of the guy flirting with Lily.
To get the girl beside me to shut up, I give her my usual grin and brush my lips softly on her cheek, whispering in her ear to join the circle. Not like I have any desire to kiss her. I just need her to shut up so I can think through my stupid ass plan and figure out a way to not watch Lily kiss another guy. A guy that isn’t me.
I can feel her glare before I see it. When I make eye contact with Lily, she’s no longer smiling at the guy next to her. She’s staring daggers at me.
There she is.
Her anger—or jealousy?—is fucking hot. I smirk, bringing the bottle to the circle and taking a seat across from her. A perfect vantage point to watch her.
I set the bottle in the middle and look over at Tristan. “Tristan, you go first since it’s your birthday.”
My eyes flick over to Veronica, who’s made her way across the circle and appears to be having a very serious conversation with Maverick. The two of them carry on before Lily whispers something, causing them to break apart.
The game gets started, and thank fuck the bottle has yet to land on Lily.
She and I have been too busy giving each other dirty looks across the circle. It’s a strange form of foreplay I’m secretly enjoying. I don’t know why she’s pissed at me, or why I’m pissed at her, but I know there’s heated tension brewing between the two of us.
A few rounds in, I’ve found myself in an argument with a feisty red-head.
“It’s clearly pointing to you!” Her arms dangle in front of her as she points to the bottle in the middle of the circle.
“Nope,” I enunciate. Leaning forward, I put my finger on the bottle, slightly rotating it to the left. “See,” I say proudly, “it’s pointing to this wonderful lady right next to me.”
“You clearly moved it,” the red-head huffs.
“Rules are rules, sunshine.” I shrug, sitting back on my heels. “The bottle isn’t pointing to me. Thanks for your enthusiasm, though.”
“Ope,” Lily says. Her eyes go wide when the feisty red-head stares daggers at her, but Lily slowly recovers and gives her a sweet smile. “Are you going to take your turn or should we just move on?”
I take a deep breath, glad no one else calls me out for cheating. The girl was right, it was absolutely pointing at me, but I couldn’t follow through with playing the damn game I started in the first place. It turns out, I have no desire to kiss anyone here.
Well—maybe one person here, but I’m trying to ignore that.
Especially with her brother sitting in the circle, having his own epiphany when it comes to the girl he wants to kiss.
I’m busy reading the body language between Maverick and Veronica when Anthony elbows me. I glare at him, but he’s busy nodding his head toward the circle.
It’s at this moment I realize Lily’s hand is splayed out over the bottle. She’s about to flick her wrist to spin it—and I can’t take it. The thought of her kissing any other tool here makes me sick to my stomach.
I spring up to my feet before I can process my actions. “Hey, Lily, can I talk to you for a second?”
The rest of the circle blurs, my attention solely focused on Lily. My heart pounds in my chest, and I don’t even begin to humor the idea that she could turn me down in front of all our friends. She should turn me down—because I have
no idea what the fuck I’m doing—but I hope she doesn’t. I wouldn’t say I’m one with a fragile ego, but if she just brushes me off with an insult right now, I might actually crawl into a hole and die.
Time slowly ticks by as she looks down at the bottle, up at me, and repeat. I’m just about to give up all hope, bracing for whatever joke she’s preparing to aim at me, when she nods her head. Her hand leaves the bottle before she gets up.
She gives me a curious gaze—probably the same one I’m currently wearing—as we make our way to the bottom of the stairs after I point to it.
Once we’re there, I give my back to the group, caging us away from meddling eyes.
Lily looks up at me with fire in her eyes, clearly gearing up for a fight.
I don’t want to give her a fight right now.
I want to give her the truth.
“I don’t want you kissing another guy.” I throw the words out between us quickly, terrified if I don’t get them out fast enough, I’ll chicken out from saying them.
Lily cocks an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, I missed the memo that you’re the boss of me.”
My jaw clenches. Clearly, I’m already fucking this up.
Why can I smooth talk every other woman but her?
“I don’t want you kissing another guy because I want to be the only guy who gets to kiss you.”
Since I’m already staring at her lips, I don’t miss the way they part slowly at my words.
I stop staring at her mouth, trying to read the look in her eyes instead. Those blue eyes are stormy with emotion. I’m desperate to fill the silence, desperate to convince her not to go sit back in that circle and rest those lips against somebody else’s. I’m desperate for her to be mine.
The Road to Finding Us: A Standalone Second Chance Romance (Aftershock Series Book 2) Page 15
