Aspen begins to shake his head. “Lily…”
Holding my hand up, I stop him. “No, just let me get this out. I think we both know it’s been this way between us, for too long. We’re twenty-five now, Aspen. I’m done playing games to get the guy I want. I want an adult relationship, one without all that. I need a relationship where neither one of us dance around our feelings, but instead, own up to them. I want to know where I stand with someone from the beginning. It shouldn’t take years for someone to confess their love. It’s not normal…it’s just not.”
I sigh. “And we both messed up there. Neither one of us fessed up to our feelings—for years—and that’s not what I want. I want something real and honest. Standing in front of you tonight, I feel like I don’t even really know you. We didn’t talk for so long. We can’t just jump into something again because we’ve gone back to playing our old games over the last week and enjoyed it. I won’t let us continue the rollercoaster ride we’ve both taken each other on. Neither one of us deserve that. We both deserve something more than what we’ve given each other. We both deserve a relationship that’s solid—and serious.”
I never thought I’d be the one to break Aspen Bellevue’s heart. It never occurred to me I would someday hold that power. But as I stare at the look on his face right now, I know I’ve done it.
He pulls in a shaky breath, his eyes traveling down my body before he nods, once. He walks up right next to me, his shoulder against my shoulder, the two of us facing in opposite directions. He looks down at me, speaking very clearly when he says, “Then I can’t do this with you, Lily. You believe the game is still going, and I keep telling you the game is over for me. It has been for a long time. I’ve just been trying to prove that to you. That I love you and am ready to put in the fucking work to make this work—with us.”
Looking away from him, I tilt my head up and look at the sky, trying to find the resolve I need to do the adult thing here. “How can you know you want us to work when we barely know each other anymore, Aspen? How can you possibly know? We barely took the time to get to know each other this trip. Not in the ways that matter. We were either arguing or making out—neither leading to adult conversations. You say it isn’t a game, but it feels like one. You had this big master plan to get me back instead of being upfront about your feelings. That’s a game. We can’t keep doing this.”
He runs his hand over his mouth, getting rid of the look of hurt on his face and replacing it with a look of indifference. “Okay, Lily. The games are over. If you don’t want to give us a chance, there’s nothing more I can do to show you that this time would be different.”
He reaches out, pulling my head to his chest. His warm lips press against my forehead in a moment that seems to last forever. After feeling my heart drop to my feet, just as I wonder if I’m doing the right thing, he pulls away.
“I meant what I said earlier. Even with the games, the love was real. It always will be. I dare you to remember that.” And then he strides right back into the party.
Once he’s gone, it feels like he’s taken my heart right along with him.
37
Aspen
Present
I’ve escaped to another location on the plot of land Veronica apparently called home as a kid. I always suspected she came from money, but I did not expect that she’d lived in a house straight from a movie. When Maverick first pulled onto the sprawling piece of property a few hours ago, the driveway lined with blossoming trees on each side, I almost shit my pants in disbelief.
And then we caught sight of the house. Not a house, but a mansion. Complete with white pillars in the front and a circle drive.
I looked at Veronica, who sat in the backseat next to Lily. “You grew up here?” I’d asked her in shock.
Her eyes had darted to the giant white house. “It’s really not all it’s cracked up to be, I promise.” And then she didn’t even wait for Maverick to open her door, she just stepped out of the car and made her way to the front.
The girl lived off Ramen and yogurt when we all lived together. I hadn’t expected her to come from that much money.
Maverick grabbed my neck. “Her parents are actually cool, man. Don’t let all of this deter you.” Then, he stepped out and followed his fiancée.
The moment Lily had realized she was alone with me in the car, she hightailed it out of there like her ass was on fire. She didn’t bother to hide the huff of annoyance as she stepped out.
Who knew that hours later, I would be the one avoiding her.
Because that’s exactly what I’m doing, while hiding in a study.
I, however, am doing everything possible to avoid Lily.
My white flag is flying and it’s flying fucking high.
“Well, Lily’s definitely pissed at me,” Veronica says, interrupting my pity party.
I look over as she takes the chair across from mine by the fireplace. It’s a large wingback, one that screams high-class, and the top of it towers over her head once she’s seated.
I let out a sarcastic huff. “She’ll get over it. I’m equally as pissed at her.” Bringing my crystal glass to my lips, I take a long sip of whiskey.
Veronica crosses her legs, the pointed toe of her high heel bumping against my shin. “Oh, don’t worry, I just gave her a reality check.
Raising my eyebrows, I look at Veronica. She sits comfortably in the chair, smiling.
“You did what?” I say.
Her blonde hair spills over her shoulder as she shrugs. “Not too long ago, she gave me a very similar talk when I was too stubborn to admit my feelings for Mav. She loves you. You know that, right?”
I process her words, running the rim of the glass against my lips as I think. “Yeah, I know,” I finally say with a defeated sigh.
I take another long gulp of my whiskey, my eyes on the doorway just as Selma walks through it timidly. I said a quick hi to her earlier, but I’m happy at the chance to have more of a conversation with her now.
Selma sits down at the edge of the fireplace that sits between my chair and Veronica’s.
“Selma!” Veronica exclaims, holding her drink up in excitement. “Come sit and tell us what you’ve been up to! I’ve been keeping up with your life through your social media posts, but I need all the juicy details you don’t post on there.” Veronica silently offers her drink to Selma.
Much to my surprise, Selma gladly takes it, almost sucking down the whole thing in a few swallows. Wiping a small droplet of wine from her lip, Selma bashfully smiles. “My life doesn’t usually have juicy details.”
“Oh, c’mon,” Veronica whines. “There’s got to be something.”
Selma and Veronica begin their own conversation next to me that I catch bits and pieces of. Honestly, I’m just counting down the minutes until we can go home, even though it’ll be awkward with Lily in a room two doors down from mine.
I’m trying not to think about the car ride home. I’ll have to figure out a plan there.
The girls continue to chat, and it occurs to me how cool it is that the two of them are so close. They weren’t close when Mav and Selm first broke up, with him moving on with Veronica shortly after. But over the years, they’ve struck up an interesting friendship. The two couldn’t be more opposite if they tried, but somehow, they work.
I admire that they can be adults about the situation and be friends. If they can do it, I wonder why Lily thinks we can’t.
Just as Veronica begins to drone on about wedding planning, a guy I don’t recognize walks in the room.
As soon as Selma notices him standing in the doorway, her spine straightens, completely ignoring Veronica’s words now. She gets a look I’ve never even seen her have with Maverick.
I look over at the stranger standing in the doorway just as he says, “I was wondering where you were, Selma.” As soon as he talks, his accent makes it clear he is not from the states. Australian, maybe?
“Okay, hello,” Veronica purrs, sizing up the stranger i
n the doorway.
I take the moment to study the guy who’s paying absolutely no attention to me or Veronica, his predatory gaze solely on Selm. He has on a pair of dark jeans even though every other person at this party is wearing at least business casual attire, if not black-tie. A white button-up covers the top half of his tall frame. His body has the definition of a swimmer’s—broad in the shoulders. When my eyes look at his feet, I find a pair of tattered leather sandals.
He also sports a fucking man bun, as if those are still in.
Selma quickly stands up, crossing the room to stand next to him. “Sorry, I got ambushed as soon as we walked in and lost you,” she whispers to him, before looking up at me and Veronica. “Guys, meet my new friend, Jasper.”
“Congratulations you two,” Jasper says, looking between me and V.
Because the three of them all stand on the opposite side of the room, I decide I better join them.
Veronica laughs, clutching her stomach for a moment. “Oh, over my dead body would I be marrying Aspen.” She throws a look over her shoulder. “But thank you. And how do you two know each other? Any juicy details perhaps?” Veronica looks at Selma and winks, causing color to rush to Selma’s cheeks.
“Oh, you know…” Selma begins, as Jasper says, “We actually met today.”
Veronica and I both pause, curiously looking at each other before looking back at Selma and the stranger she brought—something that is not typical for Selm.
Veronica pops a hip, her white nails tapping against her wine glass, giving Selma an amused look. “You’re going to have to explain this later.”
Jasper puts his arm around Selma as if he’s known her forever, and I don’t miss the way she slips her hand around his narrow waist.
“Selma and I met at the airport when we struck up a bit of bond.” His accent makes an aw sound in bond.
“Selma, Selma, Selma,” Veronica starts, not hiding her scrutiny of Selma’s new friend. “We’re going to have to talk more on this later, but I should probably return to my engagement party.”
“Yeah, we should probably get to the party, too,” Selma says. “I didn’t get the chance to introduce Jasper to anyone before I was swept away.”
Australian Surfer Dude says goodbye to Veronica, then goes as far as referring to me as mate when he tells me goodbye.
Selma quickly turns around, dragging Jasper out of the room with her.
“Holy shit,” Veronica says next to me, watching them retreat. “Selma went and found herself a hot Australian stranger. That’s something I’d count as a juicy detail. That little minx lied to me! I’ll have to hunt her down later.”
I laugh next to her, following her out the door a few moments later. Although, in truth, I’m just as shocked as Veronica is.
38
Lily
Present
Two days later, we’ve reached the day of the grand opening for Connor’s Ocean. Maverick, Veronica, Aspen and I have kept busy since the engagement party, getting last minute details ready for the event. It’s kept all of us busy, meaning Aspen and I haven’t had much time to talk about what happened between us at the engagement party. We’ve both been cordial, but luckily, we haven’t had a spare moment to be anything but. Between us preparing for the opening and him spending time at his house, there hasn’t been time for any possible nonsense.
But now, Veronica and Maverick are both at the event space making sure everything is perfect. Veronica was adamant that they didn’t need any last minute help today, flying out of the house before I could offer to go help however I could.
So now, I’m left alone in an empty house, with time to dwell on the conversation Aspen and I had the other night. He’s been at his house for the better part of the morning, and as I sit at the kitchen counter snacking on potato chips, I’m shocked to find a missed text from him.
Aspen: Come to my house? There’s something I want to show you. Please.
My heart catapults inside my chest. Before I can second guess what I’m doing, my legs are taking me across the lawn, on the way to him.
When I stop in front of his house, I’m taken aback by the beauty. It’s absolutely breathtaking. The home is the same white as my brother’s, but where they had a white porch and white columns, the wood of this porch is black, the shutters and columns the same color. On the left side of the front door hangs a brand new porch swing. It slowly moves with a gust of wind.
It reminds me of the porch swing at Ed and Helen’s. The one I loved so much.
The molding around the door is black as well, and it surrounds a large teal front door. I’m still stopped on the sidewalk when Aspen strolls out the front door, wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a faded T-shirt. I about die when I see the ball cap perched on top of his head, reminding me of the day I first met him.
I’m still staring at him when he quickly steps down the front steps, stopping directly in front of me.
“You came,” he says.
I nod, scanning his face.
“Do you want to come in?” he asks nervously, hooking a thumb over his shoulder to point at the house. “I want to show you something.”
“I’d like that,” I tell him, tucking my hands in the back pockets of my jean shorts, giving them something to do so they don’t reach out and touch him.
“Okay,” he breathes out, pausing awkwardly. “Let’s do it.”
He turns around, leading the way up the stairs. “The porch wraps all the way around the house,” he says. “Same as Maverick and Veronica’s. Mine’s a bit bigger, though.”
He pushes the front door handle down and then holds it open for me to step in. “Keep in mind the inside isn’t quite done yet, but I think you’ll be able to see my vision for it. You’re good at that kind of thing.”
I move past him to step inside.
“Make sure to keep your shoes on,” he says from behind me. “The contractors still haven’t cleaned everything up.”
I look down at my Birks, not sure how protective they’ll be, but I don’t say anything. When I step into the entryway, I stop dead in my tracks.
It’s beautiful.
There’s still a ladder in one corner, and there isn’t paint or anything like that. But Aspen is right. I can definitely see his vision.
And it’s…perfect.
Looking down, I find gorgeous restored hardwood floors. The color is a dark ash, contrasting against the white wainscoting that runs along the wall. You can see most of the first floor from the spot I stand in.
When I look around, I find what I imagine is a large dining area, the window from the front of the house letting in a perfect amount of natural light. Moving deeper into the house from the dining room, I see the bones of a giant kitchen. White cabinets have been installed, the same to be said for a giant island in the middle. And to make it even more spectacular, there’s a built-in breakfast nook overlooking the back porch and yard.
I absentmindedly run my hand over the sturdy railing to the staircase on my right. There’s a large open space with a stone fireplace, which will be the living room, I’m sure. The fireplace is massive—a piece of wood already attached to serve as a beautiful mantle.
The fireplace sits on the left wall of the living room, and the back wall is just a large wall of windows. A set of French doors separates the windows from the living room and kitchen.
There’s a hallway off the living room that must lead to the bedrooms, like Maverick and Veronica’s house does.
“What do you think?” Aspen asks quietly.
I finally look away from the house, finding his gaze already on me, and the intensity of it nearly startles me. The way he’s looking at me sends goosebumps up my bare arms. “I think it’s stunning,” I admit.
That earns me a grin. He points his head down the hallway. “Want to look at the master?”
“Lead the way.”
Aspen rubs his palms together before heading toward the hallway. When we step through the large doorway of the master,
I stop once again. The space is absolutely massive. There are exposed beams across the high ceiling, and even a little nook tucked into two of the windows that would be a perfect spot to spend the mornings.
I imagine myself sitting in front of the windows, sketching out an outfit design and drinking my morning coffee.
The thought catches me off guard. I shouldn’t be imagining myself in his space, but here I am—imagining living in this house that’s his.
So why does it feel like it’s meant for me?
My eyes trail over the fireplace sitting in the master as my heartbeat picks up.
I start to panic the more I envision myself here, in this room that’s been made for Aspen. I imagine the large bed this room will house. The things that will happen on the bed. I imagine playing with a dog in the backyard and cooking dinner in that gorgeous kitchen.
Without logic or reason, I start to picture so many different scenarios of Aspen and I sharing this house. Each and every one making me question whether or not I made the right decision the other night.
If the love between us had never been real, if it couldn’t one day last, then why do I feel myself in this house?
Why can I picture myself watering the flowers on his porch, reading a book in the corner, laughing by the fireplace with him? I envision the two of us doing so many mundane tasks here. The thought is jarring, because those thoughts shouldn’t exist for something that was only a game. For something without a true foundation.
And suddenly, I come to the realization, I want to do whatever it takes to keep Aspen forever. We might not have started in the most conventional way, but that doesn’t mean we can’t start again—correctly.
The Road to Finding Us: A Standalone Second Chance Romance (Aftershock Series Book 2) Page 21
