by Alice Raine
‘We’ll leave it as it is, there’s still a little room,’ the assistant said with a smile, completely unaware of my slight upset. I’d run my bloody arse off in the last month, I think I had the right to be slightly perturbed. ‘Feel free to pop in the week before the wedding if you think your weight has changed at all.’
My low mood didn’t last for long though, because as the assistant bent to check the hem of the dress I saw Louise and Rebecca bobbing about and teasing me by puffing out their cheeks and curling their arms into rounded humps at their sides to make it look like they were really fat, which instantly made me smile. I knew what they were trying to do – bring me back down to earth. I was hardly obese, was I? So really I shouldn’t be getting myself upset by a few extra pounds here and there.
‘On the plus side, we now have more time to practice lacing the wedding dress,’ the assistant said as she stood up again. ‘Let’s make a start, shall we?’ she chirped, topping up our champagne.
Eighteen – Nicholas
‘Please tell me you haven’t organised anything big for today, Nathan,’ I queried apprehensively as I eyed my brother and his impeccable suit while he stood on my doorstep with his legs splayed and a cocky expression on his face. Why was he wearing a three-piece suit at this time of the day anyway? It was barely nine in the morning on a Saturday for God’s sake.
Raising an eyebrow Nathan gave me a level stare and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Have a little faith please, Nicholas,’ he said tersely. Picking up a small holdall he pushed his way past me, through the front door and headed into my kitchen with me trailing behind sullenly. Placing his bag down Nathan then propped himself on a counter and crossed one ankle over the other before tugging on his shirt cuffs, smoothing down his jacket, and running a hand carefully over his already immaculate hair. He looked like he was auditioning for a GQ photo shoot, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.
‘I have faith in you, brother, but I said I didn’t want a stag do and yet here you are.’ Turning to him I heaved out a sigh and waited for him to expand on what the heck he had planned for me today. ‘I recall perfectly; you said no night clubs, no strippers, no groups of fake friends. So basically no stag do. I have adhered to all these points, Nicholas. Think of today as two brothers simply having a day out together, nothing more.’
My eyebrows rose. ‘It’s just the two of us?’
Nathan nodded his head slowly. ‘It is.’ Realistically it had always just been Nathan and I. Our parents might have brought us into the world, but their treatment of us as kids had forced us into relying heavily on each other as we grew up. Nathan was my rock. He was literally the only reason I was still alive today, and although our lives were evolving now as we moved on with Rebecca and Stella, I genuinely valued the brotherly bond we had.
Thinking about it in those terms I nodded; spending the day with Nathan would be great. I’d banned a stag do months ago, because quite frankly I couldn’t think of anything worse than being surrounded by vague acquaintances and so-called friends all drinking to my health and happy marriage – when realistically I didn’t actively socialise with any of them on a regular basis. But today would just be Nathan and I, just like old times. Nodding my head my shoulders felt looser already.
Taking out a bag of coffee beans I began to set up the grinder when Nathan walked over and unplugged it. ‘You won’t need that, we’ll be having coffee soon enough. Go and change, Nicholas, you need to be smart this morning, but pack a bag with some casual clothes,’ he said, plucking the bag of coffee from my hand and eyeing it appreciatively. ‘And I mean really casual, like a T-shirt, jumper, tracksuit bottoms. Gym gear, that type of thing.’ Gym gear? What the hell were we going to be doing? Working out?
Just as that moment Rebecca breezed into the kitchen with a small day bag in her hand. ‘Don’t worry about packing the bag, Nicholas. I’ve done it for you,’ she said with a sweet smile that I couldn’t help but return. A moment later however, I realised that the bag in her hand meant Rebecca obviously knew about the plans for the day, and I quickly dropped the smile and narrowed my eyes at her instead. ‘You were in on this?’
Her sweet smile morphed into a megawatt grin, ‘I was.’ Rolling onto tiptoes she landed a firm kiss on my lips, stepping back before I could take hold of her. ‘You’re going to have a great day,’ she added confidently before walking over to Nathan and whipping the coffee from his hand.
Trying not to be such a miser I rolled off my shoulders, pulled my face into some semblance of a smile, and then with a nod of acceptance turned and headed for the stairs to change.
Strolling down the stairs I made my way along the hall but froze as I saw Nathan and Rebecca still in the kitchen chatting amiably. My eyes narrowed for just the briefest of seconds as I watched them together, before I rolled my eyes at myself and allowed a small self-derisive smile to twist the corner of my lips. It was Rebecca and Nathan for God’s sake – my trusted brother and the woman I loved – I had no reason to be jealous or concerned. Slipping my hands in the trouser pockets of my suit I loosened off my neck and wandered along the hall to meet them. The way I’d so easily brushed off that spike of jealousy made me realise just how far I’d come in the last year or so and as I reached the kitchen I allowed myself a smile.
Rebecca’s eyes turned to me as soon as my shoes made contact with the marble of the kitchen floor.
Blowing out a low wolf whistle she licked her lips and grinned. I watched with pleasure as my girl’s eyes lit up as she took in my appearance. It was me making her look like that, and that thought was like liquid euphoria flowing through my veins and making my chest puff out.
‘You look good, Nicholas. Really good,’ Rebecca murmured in a low, husky tone. I was wearing one of my favourite navy blue three-piece suits, paired with a white shirt and a pale blue tie, but from the look Rebecca was giving me it was clearly one of her favourites too. Or at least it was now. In fact, her obvious appreciation almost seemed to verge on outright arousal, which while pleasing me immensely, was also quite surprising, because although Rebecca had no issues with displays of affection in public, she usually kept her lusty side more carefully hidden. It had to be said after Rebecca’s wolf whistle, throaty words, and intense stare, my ego was feeling pretty damn good at the moment.
‘You two look way too handsome,’ Rebecca said with a fake frown as she lifted a hand to her chin and inspected Nathan and myself intently. ‘Take him away, Nathan, before I change my mind about letting you both loose on the world.’
Grinning like a kid I couldn’t help but close the gap to my girl and pull her in for a heated kiss which quickly caused her to soften against me and loop her hands around my neck. God, I loved this woman so fucking much.
‘Christ, Nicholas, cool it off, brother,’ Nathan muttered as he gave me a shove in the shoulder that was hard enough to make me stagger sideways as I clutched a giggling Rebecca to my chest to stop her slipping.
‘OK, OK! Let’s go.’ Placing one final quick kiss on Rebecca’s lips I flashed her a wink and stepped towards my brother as he led me from the kitchen.
‘You’re not getting in my car if you’ve got a fucking stiffy, Nicholas,’ Nathan complained grumpily, but from the small chuckle I heard, I suspect his comment was far more light-hearted than he was making out. Picking up my bag I followed Nathan to the car unable to wipe the smirk from my face.
Eight minutes later Nathan’s company car pulled to a halt in the heart of Marylebone and I glanced out of the window before raising my eyebrows. ‘Are you serious?’ I asked, turning to my brother in surprise.
‘I am indeed, Nicholas,’ Nathan said as the driver opened the door for us and he slid from the car without waiting for me to continue the conversation.
Following my brother out of the car I nodded my thanks to the driver, straightened off my suit, smoothed down my tie, and then looked up at the impressive façade of the old fire station building in front of me. As innocuous as this frontage might seem,
I knew that this building had been converted to house one of the hottest restaurants in London; the Chiltern Firehouse. This place was infamous for its fabulous – and expensive – food, not to mention sightings of the rich and famous.
‘Is this not a little pretentious for breakfast?’ I asked as we crossed the pavement towards the doors.
Smirking at me, Nathan shrugged carelessly. ‘Perhaps. But the food is fantastic, and surely I’m allowed to push the boat out to celebrate my little brother getting married?’ When he put it like that I couldn’t really disagree, so I joined Nathan in his smile and followed him inside.
As its name suggests, the Chiltern Firehouse is exactly what it says. The exterior is still that of a fire station, but even inside they have managed to maintain the original features in combination with a funky dining room setting.
We were seated promptly by an incredibly smart waiter who served us a complimentary glass of chilled mango juice to drink whilst we perused the breakfast menu. The rather expensive menu. I might have money, but I didn’t tend to splash out to this extreme that often, and I had to say I was still a little cynical about how the chef would make a few eggs be worth the prices listed on the menu.
After my initial scepticism I had to say the food really was amazing; I had a crab omelette and the most delicious coffee, while Nathan opted for lobster medallions with scrambled egg, an espresso, and small water. Perhaps this wasn’t the type of place you’d frequent every Saturday morning, but seeing as this was my stag do, of sorts, it certainly made a special start to the day.
Once we were back in the cool interior of the car I fully expected Nathan to produce a bottle of champagne from the fridge between the seats to really get our day started in style, but when I enquired about the possibility of a Buck’s Fizz he merely gave me a cryptic look and shook his head. ‘Later, brother,’ he said, handing me a chilled bottle of orange juice instead.
The reason behind Nathan’s reluctance to give me an alcoholic drink began to become apparent an hour and a half later as the car pulled off the M40 at the sign for Silverstone Circuit. Winding through country roads for a few minutes the car slowed as we turned into the car park of the world famous race track itself. Immediately my heart rate rose as my mind leapt to various different conclusions about why we might be here. All of them included cars and speed and made a huge childlike grin stretch my face.
‘I’m sure you can guess why we’re here, Nicholas,’ Nathan said with a matching grin. ‘You said no strippers, dancing, or nightclubs, so I thought I’d opt for something else which might get your pulse racing.’
I was so eager to see what we would be driving that I completely lost my usual poise and control as I practically threw myself out of the car as soon as the driver had pulled to a stop. ‘This is perfect, Nathan, you know how much I love a good, fast car.’
Patting me on the back Nathan handed me my bag, grabbed one of his own, and then led me towards the reception area. After changing into our casual clothes we were quickly checked in and given a very thorough safety briefing before being led to the track side where the mere smell of petrol and burnt rubber had me fidgeting with excitement.
Four hours later my heart was still hammering in my chest from the adrenaline and excitement of the experience. It had been absolutely unbelievable. We’d started in a Ferrari F430 Coupe, a beautiful car whose 4.3 V8 engine was capable of nought to sixty in four seconds flat. The thrill from the screaming roar of the engine as I paddled up through the six gears and tore around the corners of the circuit was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my life before.
I’m lucky enough to have had the opportunity to drive fabulous cars before, and I’ve driven them fast. Really fast. But being on the circuit at Silverstone in the Ferrari had just been awe-inspiring. As our professional driver and guide for the day, Joe, had led us across to the pit lane and stopped beside a Formula 1 style car my jaw literally fell open. I’d never driven one of these beauties before, but bloody hell, I had always wanted to.
As soon as my foot had dabbed at the accelerator of the racing car I had been able to feel the difference to every single vehicle I have driven in the past. The near perfect aerodynamics, lightweight frame, and high power engine blew me away as it clung to the corners and leapt along the straights like a stallion. The driving position was so low to the ground that I could feel every single pulse-raising vibration run through my entire skeleton and soon enough I lost myself to the moment, much like I did when I played piano. There was nothing but me, the car, and the track. It truly was one of the most astonishing experiences of my entire life.
Changing back into my suit after such an incredible afternoon was actually rather difficult. All I wanted to do was stay on the track until the sun went down and the floodlights came on and then drive until I ran out of fuel. But eventually our time was up and Nathan and I made our way back to the car with grins on our faces like two little kids.
As the car pulled out of the car park and I gazed wistfully at the disappearing stadium complex, Nathan popped the cork from a bottle of champagne, making me jump. The loud noise seemed to ricochet round the small space and I chuckled, my attention now well and truly back inside the car.
‘Now you can have a drink, brother,’ Nathan said, handing me a cool glass which I chinked with his and then immediately took a large sip from.
Considering I hadn’t wanted a stag do, or even a fuss to be made, I had to say today had been out of this world. I’d been treated to great food, experienced thrills on the race track beyond my belief, and was now sipping champagne in the back of a plush car with my beloved brother. After all my previous reservations about what the day would hold Nathan had certainly succeeded in making me enjoy myself, and I had to say he’d done the job rather well.
Nineteen – Stella
I couldn’t believe it was March already. Shaking my head I blew out a breath and wondered where the weeks had gone. It seemed like just yesterday I was pulling crackers with Nathan at my parents’ house. Nathan and I were doing better than ever, but the last two months had seemed to pass in a blur of flowers, cakes, dresses, and jogs as I’d helped Rebecca with all her wedding plans. Nicholas was doing his part too, but was taking a bit of a back seat with the girly stuff, hence my willing assistance.
I’d had to skip this morning’s run again because I’d not felt too great. I hadn’t even made it to the park to walk with Rebecca today, because I’d had my head stuck down the toilet. Truth be told, I hadn’t felt good all week, and now here I was sat in my bathroom with sweat breaking out on my forehead, my hands trembling and heart pounding.
No, no, no, no, no. This could not be happening. Practically ripping hair from my scalp I ran a trembling hand over my head as I stared again at the pale pink lines appearing on the stick in front of me. Instead of disappearing as I was desperately hoping, they were growing darker by the frigging second. Shit. Looking back at the box clutched in my other hand I skimmed the writing to the important part: one pink line in the display window equals not pregnant. Two pink lines in the display window equals pregnant. Fuuuuck. Whichever way I held this damn stick there was no getting away from the fact that there were two very clear pink lines staring me in the face.
I was on the goddamn contraceptive injection, how the hell could I be pregnant?
Shock crawled its way over my skin, replacing sweat with goose-bumps. My vision started to blur as my limbs went numb and I only just managed to grab the side of the bathtub as I slid from the toilet seat and sunk to the cold tiled floor in a heap. Trying to concentrate on taking deep breaths I thought through the situation rationally. I wasn’t in shock at being pregnant so much, in fact that didn’t really worry me at all. What was currently forefront in my mind was Nathan. Or rather the fact that Nathan was going to go absolutely berserk.
Oh God . There was no way Nathan was going to want a child. Regardless of how far he’d come in his emotional development in the past year, he didn’t want kids, of th
at much I was sure. He’d not said as much, but he hadn’t needed to, horrible flashbacks of the day we’d bumped into his ex, Melissa, flashed in my mind. He’d briefly thought her baby might be his and he’d looked utterly horrified by the idea, completely repelled really.
Christ, what a mess. No doubt this would be a huge shitstorm for Nathan and I, one I wasn’t sure we’d survive. He’d probably finish with me and I’d be left broken-hearted and pregnant. What an utterly depressing thought. A dry sob escaped my throat as I tried to stand up. I grimaced as I realised it was probably just as well I hadn’t moved in with him then, that would have been a bit pointless really – move in just to move out again a few months later. I ran a shaky hand over my face and pushed some hair from my eyes. God, a glass of wine would go a long way right now, but I suppose that would be out of the question for a fair few months to come.
What to do next was the question. Realistically, there was only one thing I should be doing next, so on shaky legs I made my way to the kitchen, picked up my mobile, and dialled a number. Not Nathan, not yet; first I needed a trip to the doctors to get this properly confirmed.
Why do doctors and hospitals ask you to provide a urine sample and then proceed to cheerily give you the smallest plastic cup known to mankind? I mean for God’s sake, as if it isn’t bad enough trying to semi-squat over a toilet and pee into a cup in the first place, making it the size of a goddamn thimble really doesn’t help matters. Blowing my hair out of my face I screwed on the cap and placed the now full cup on the sink and sorted myself out. After washing my hands I attempted to minimise my embarrassment by concealing the cup in my clenched fist while walking back through a packed waiting room of curious glances and into the doctor’s room.
