Nicholas shrugged as if totally unconcerned by my imposition on his life.
“It’s hard to say,” he said, “this time of year it could be hours or days.”
I wanted to ask a thousand questions. What did Nicholas do out here all day every day? Did he like living here? Why did he live out here? But manners forced me to stifle my curiosity. His life and his choices were absolutely none of my business. I had one reason for being here, and it was to make my delivery, get my little thingy signed, and go home. Prying wouldn’t help me achieve that goal.
Nicholas was obviously telling the truth that he hadn’t moved out here because he liked the company of random women who wanted things from him or needed saving. He was being polite to me and he’d rescued me from a particularly nasty, wolf-y fate. I could only try to be polite and not disturb him in return. Even if he was very… distracting.
Across the little room, I watched Nicholas while trying not to be too obvious about it. I couldn’t help that I was attracted to him. He was tall for the little A-frame cabin, with broad shoulders and long legs. He was wearing battered jeans and a flannel shirt (because of course he was wearing flannel), and it looked good on him. I could tell by the way he filled out his shirt that he had well-built arms and shoulders. I’d already felt his strength when he threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes earlier in the evening. His jeans looked awfully good too. I wondered what was under them.
“Jenna?” Nicholas said, in a tone that indicated that it was perhaps for the second or third time, and I ripped my eyes away from his, um, belt buckle.
“Sorry, what?” I replied, hoping I wasn’t blushing or that the low light would disguise it.
“Jenna, are you hungry?” He asked slowly and clearly, looking at me with an expression that suggested he was worried that I was still delirious. In all honesty, I was feeling fine now, but it was better that he would think that I was batty rather than horny. Both were embarrassing, but one was really embarrassing.
“A bit,” I admitted, “but I should warn you, I’m vegan. If you’ve just got some bread or nuts or something, that would be great.”
He blinked in apparent disbelief, and his full lips parted.
“A vegan?” He repeated and then chuckled and shrugged his powerful shoulders, “I’ve got non-meat somewhere in here. I guess the moose chili is out. You know, you’re definitely the first vegan I’ve met since moving up here.”
He rustled around in a little cabinet and produced a can of corn, tomato sauce, a loaf of bread, and a jar of peanut butter. Those ingredients would not make any meal that I was familiar with, and I was pretty easy to please. We both looked at the selection in thought.
“How about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?” He offered as he produced a jar of jam from the refrigerator. I nodded enthusiastically. That actually sounded perfect to me.
“Yes, please,” I replied with a grin. I couldn’t think of anything more comforting. I’d lived on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches growing up (mostly because they were cheap and filling, but I liked them too).
Nicholas didn’t have a dining area. We ended up eating together on opposite sides of the little couch with Harley between us like a huge, furry wall. The smell of his moose chili was appetizing even if it made me sad to think about the moose. I ate my peanut butter and jelly sandwich gratefully. I was hungrier than I’d realized.
“Did you bake this bread?” I asked him, and he nodded, “It’s really good.” It tasted like it might have honey in it, which I tried to avoid but was willing to overlook given the circumstances.
“I had to learn to cook out here,” Nicholas admitted sheepishly, “it took a while. There was a lot of really badly burned bread before we got to this point.”
“Did you make the jam, too?” I asked in wonder.
“Yeah. The berries grow wild up here in the fall.” His tone seemed to suggest that he was embarrassed or that I would think it’s funny that he was so self-sufficient. In reality, I was extremely impressed. Baking bread was pretty cool, but canning wild berries he had gathered himself? That was some Martha Stewart-level shit right there. I wouldn’t even begin to know how to do something like that. I would probably end up picking the poisonous berries or exploding the kitchen if I even tried.
“I wish I could cook. I can make ramen noodles,” I told him honestly, “and also toast. You know, kid’s stuff. I’m only good at going out to eat.”
His face turned vaguely wistful at the mention of take out.
“I can’t even remember the last meal I ate that I didn’t prepare,” he said. Living here sounded like a nightmare. I’d already proven that I wouldn’t last one day. I was much better off in Philadelphia. At least the environment there wasn’t actively trying to kill me.
“I usually don’t get home from work until seven or eight,” I replied with a sigh, “I wish I could learn to cook but there’s never any time. I’d probably starve to death if it wasn’t for frozen burritos and pizza delivery. You know how it is at Durant Industries. Everyone works to outwork each other. It’s like a competition to see who can do the most unpaid overtime. Your dad is kind of a slave driver.”
At the mention of his father, Nicholas went very still. I’d meant it half facetiously, but Nicholas looked upset. I couldn’t know if he was protective of his father, or angry at him. Or angry at me. Over Harley’s furry head, I saw a muscle jump in his cheek. I’d touched a nerve over something.
Nicholas stood up abruptly and crossed back to the kitchen with his back to me. Surprised, Harley shot me a particularly mean look before rising and following him as always. That dog seemed to have it out for me. Every time I tried to pet the soft hair on her head, she either walked away indifferently or glared up at me distrustfully. At least she’d stopped growling every time I moved.
Usually I loved dogs, and they loved me back. I wasn’t sure what I was doing wrong. My very presence seemed to offend her.
I rose from the couch with my empty sandwich plate, following him into the compact kitchen to wash it off in the sink. Nicholas turned to me as he heard me approach, retreating a few feet to give me room under the faucet but watching me warily the entire time. Butterflies rose and fluttered in my stomach and my pulse hammered in my ears.
Why was this so uncomfortable? Just being in close proximity to him was making my heart pound. There was a heady mix of uncertainty and attraction hanging in the air between us. The feeling was thicker than the snow falling outside. It was making me feel so strange, and Nicholas seemed to be similarly affected. When I glanced up at him and bit my lip in confusion, he dropped his gaze to the floor and cleared his throat awkwardly. Then I caught him staring at my butt.
Washing off my little sandwich plate under his heavy gaze seemed to take hours instead of seconds. Every time I looked away from him, I could feel him watching me. At least I managed not to drop the plate or otherwise embarrass myself. As soon as I was finished with the dish, I retreated back to the couch as quickly as I could.
“Did you get Harley when you moved up here, or did she come with you to Alaska?” I asked Nicholas, both because I was curious and because I felt like I needed to break the silence that was growing up between us.
Nicholas smiled at the mention of his dog, and Harley perked up when I said her name. She wagged her tail and looked up at her master as if waiting for an answer.
“I got her during my first week here,” he answered affectionately, reaching out to pat her on the head. “I hadn’t actually wanted a dog, but one of my neighbors had a litter of Malamutes and Harley was the runt so he was trying to give her away. As soon as I saw her, I feel in love. She was so little and sweet.”
“Harley was the runt?” I repeated incredulously, looking at the hulking beast of muscle and fur, “I find that hard to believe.”
Nicholas laughed. It was the first time I’d actually heard his laughter and it was a surprisingly clear, free sound. I loved the sound of it. Harley barked happily in return
. They were quite the pair.
“Yeah, she recovered from that and then some,” he admitted proudly, “she could probably stand to lose a few pounds, to be honest. Mostly Harley just eats what I eat, since dog food isn’t really a thing up here.”
“Do you like living here in Alaska?” I asked, and then instantly bit my tongue.
Nicholas looked surprised at the question.
“I’ve gotten used to it,” he answered after a second, “there was definitely a period of adjustment when I first got up here. The first winter was brutal. But, there’s a lot to like about Alaska. It’s really very beautiful, especially in summer. And the people here are nice and helpful, even if they are a bit standoffish at first. People here value their peace and quiet.”
“Why do you live here?” I heard myself asking, instantly regretting my words the moment they made it out of my impertinent mouth.
The smile fled from his face and his expression turned more guarded. He shrugged and frowned at me. I could see a battle of some sort was taking place within him, but I had no insight into its factions or outcome.
“That’s a very personal question,” Nicholas finally said in a tone that broached no further discussion.
I clearly wasn’t going to get much out of him regarding the cause of his isolation.
I wrapped the electric blanket around me again for some semblance of protection, Nicholas left a moment later and went out to grab my luggage from the truck. I waited anxiously for whatever was coming next.
6
Nicholas
Having Jenna in my house tonight was not a good idea. I’d spent the last five years alone. As in, completely and totally without female companionship of either the social or the intimate variety. Being plunged back into a situation with a desirable woman—especially a woman as desirable as Jenna Masters—had my body reminding me forcefully that total abstinence was an unnatural and unwanted state.
In the frozen, dark garage, I took several deep gulps of frigid air that burned my lungs. It was so cold that it physically hurt, but at least my head felt better and clearer out here. I could think again now that I didn’t have to look at Jenna’s flawless face and body. Now that I didn’t have to see her soft, warm skin, or smell her light perfume, I could remember why it was a bad idea to kiss her. Out here, I couldn’t as easily imagine dragging her into my bedroom and having her over and over until we both collapsed from exhaustion.
The rational corner of my brain that wasn’t completely overwhelmed by pheromones and hormones tried to remind me that I was only imagining that she might feel the same way. There was no way she could want me. That little rational voice described in ego-shattering detail that a woman like Jenna could do a lot better than an unkempt mountain hermit, a man who had literally run away when the world got too scary, and that I was deluding myself. I let myself be convinced.
Besides, in the unlikely event that Jenna did somehow have a fetish for weird shut-ins who eschew razors, haircuts, and takeout, Jenna was not to be touched. She would be going back to Durant Industries. She worked for my father, however indirectly. Although Jenna herself might be totally innocent of all the machinations and schemes that were doubtlessly put in motion by my grandfather’s death, I couldn’t and shouldn’t trust her. And I shouldn’t and couldn’t get attached.
Back when I’d actually been Nicholas Durant, before I’d created and taken on the identity of Lewis Cassidy, nothing in the world would have prevented me from going inside and seducing Jenna. I used to do something similar at least twice a week at work. I’m not sure there was a single surface in my office that I hadn’t had sex on. I’d been an active and enthusiastic player in the “sleep your way to the top” game that was played at Durant Industries by, well, pretty much everybody. As someone near the top, I had my pick of ambitious, attractive, willing young women.
Ambitious, attractive young women like Jenna Masters.
But those days were gone. And weirdly, I didn’t even want them back. After so long by myself, I’d turned into someone unfamiliar to my former, freewheeling self. I no longer wanted vapid, temporary interactions. Spending so much time alone had me wishing for something deeper than that.
I grabbed Jenna’s little roller board suitcase from the truck and headed back inside to find her still sitting balled up on the couch in the blanket. She grinned at the sight of her stuff. The sight of her smile made me feel irrationally happy.
“Thank you so much for grabbing my suitcase,” she said, rising to retrieve it from me. I moved away from her as quickly as I could, but our hands touched briefly on the handle and it felt like a jolt of electricity shot through me.
“You can take the bedroom tonight,” I offered, “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“No way,” she replied, “I would never take your bed from you. Seriously. This is your home. Plus, you’re so tall there’s no way you could even stretch out on the couch. I’m perfectly happy out here.”
She had a point; the couch was not going to be an easy fit for my six-foot two-inch body. I considered fighting with her, but I didn’t know if I could ever sleep in my bed again after she’d been in it. Even now, Jenna was stretching sensually and raising her arms up above her head in a way that made her tits jut out and her round ass look especially appealing. In reality, I’m sure her actions were perfectly ordinary—she was only stretching—but her every movement was seductive to me. The sooner she was gone, the better. Otherwise I was going to end up embarrassing myself. Badly.
“Well, I’m sure you want to rest,” I mumbled, backing away toward the bedroom, “the bathroom’s through that door over there.”
Jenna looked over at me in surprise. She smiled politely, but she was clearly picking up on my weirdness.
“Oh, ok. Good night, Nicholas. Thank you again for rescuing me.”
She tucked her long, coppery-blond hair behind her ear. She was wearing dangly pearl earrings in her cute little ears, I noticed, but they were obviously fake. I’d been raised around enough wealth to become adept at spotting fake pearls. Seeing her earrings made me want to ask Jenna a thousand questions about her life, whether she was being paid enough by Ollie, where she’d grown up, what she liked. I also found myself entertaining a fantasy of buying her a pair of really expensive, beautiful pearl earrings, if that’s what she liked. Or emeralds, to match her eyes. Something expensive and worthy of her beauty.
I swallowed hard. I should have stayed in the garage a bit longer.
“You’re welcome. Good night,” I said shortly. I was probably less polite than I should have been, and I knew my voice sounded tight and uncomfortable, but I needed to get away from her. Fast.
I shuffled off immediately to my bedroom, grabbing Harley by the collar and pulling her behind the door with me. Harley went along happily, staring up at me adoringly and drooling with joy. At least someone wanted to spend the night with me. I shut the door and sat down on the foot of the bed, feeling like an idiot.
One night. I could make it through one night. Tomorrow Jenna would be gone, and my life would return to normal.
7
Jenna
Nicholas disappeared off to his bedroom, leaving me alone. Clearly he’d exhausted his patience for ‘impromptu houseguests’. I tried unsuccessfully to swallow my disappointment. Even though I was lonely, I told myself that it was for the best. Spending time with Nicholas probably wasn’t a good idea anyway.
My curiosity was piqued, but I knew that I shouldn’t let myself get invested. Tomorrow the snowstorm would be over, and I would figure out a way to get home. My journey was almost at an end.
I powered up my laptop but was unsurprised to find that I had no access to WIFI in the storm. I ended up looking over my NDA again, more confused than ever why I had been sworn to secrecy about Nicholas’ location. He hadn’t appeared to have any knowledge whatsoever about an agreement with Skylark to keep his information confidential unless Nicholas was dead.
There was something really strange go
ing on with Nicholas, and between him and his father Richard, but I knew it was none of my business. I went into the bathroom and put on pajamas to distract myself from the mystery. I’ve always been curious to a fault.
So, I pushed my inquisitiveness to the side, and fantasized about the man instead. He was so close to me, just beyond the door to my right. The light was off in his room and the cabin was silent, but I wondered if he was being kept up by thoughts of me as well. I hoped so.
I lay on my back under the electric blanket and thought about the man who had rescued me tonight. He was so unlike what I expected, although my expectations had been vague and fuzzy to begin with. I guess I thought he’d be more like the picture I had- suave and polished and arrogant.
Or more like his father.
I’d only really begun regularly interacting with Richard Durant a few months ago. My boss, Oliver, was one of Richard’s most trusted Senior Vice Presidents, and he’d insinuated to me that I needed to begin to increase my exposure to the CEO if I wanted to be promoted to VP. But Oliver warned me that Richard was not an easy man to impress.
He wasn’t. Richard pretty much acted like I was invisible every time I saw him. My next few months were spent making sure I was speaking up at every meeting, working extra to make sure my work made it in front of Richard’s eyes, and volunteering for extra projects. My eventual reward was this bizarre assignment. It had been made clear to me that I was selected because Oliver trusted me, and success would mean that Richard would trust me, too. This assignment was essentially a test.
“Jenna,” Oliver had told me before my flight to Kathmandu, “I know I don’t need to tell you this, but you need to be very careful during this assignment. Don’t do anything to anger Richard. Richard doesn’t talk about his son very often, but I know that the topic of Nicholas is very sensitive.”
“Don’t you know Nicholas?” I’d asked, “If it’s all so sensitive, why wouldn’t Richard just send you?”
Down and Dirty Page 4
