Chapter Nine
In the early morning the house came to life. The sounds of Thomas Jr.’s crying demands for nourishment brought everyone out of their sleep. Anna woke and watched as Thomas climbed from the bed and dressed himself for another day of work. It must have been the routine that saved him, which was a blessing. But it made sense too. The routine of life and nature kept everything moving. The harshest winter could come, but spring would undoubtedly follow. The hottest months could dry the dirt into flakes of Earth, but nature would eventually bring rain. Hurt could still exist inside Thomas but routine allowed him to live each day and work towards happiness.
When she got out of bed and dressed herself she went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast and found Thomas holding his son. It was the first time she saw father holding son and it was a moment that deserved to be captured forever. The way Thomas looked at Thomas Jr. and the way the baby looked right back at its father was pure love. No matter what Thomas did or said to the infant, Thomas Jr. smiled. Even when Thomas looked at Anna and wished her a good morning, Thomas Jr. smiled. A big, toothless smile with a small dribble of drool at the corner of his mouth.
“Would you, for a second?” Thomas asked as he started to hold Thomas Jr. out to Anna.
Anna thought about yesterday and hesitated. But she couldn’t deny the preciousness of the baby and her motherly instinct and need to hold and care for Thomas Jr.
She took him into her hands and pulled him to her chest. He turned his head, wanting to see his father, still smiling. Anna bounced him a little and she felt his hands close around her shirt. He was holding onto her! He wasn’t crying. He wasn’t kicking. Thomas Jr. turned his head and looked up at Anna. He had the biggest eyes she ever saw on a baby, the eyes that were absorbing the world around him at an amazing rate. Anna just knew Thomas Jr. would grow to be a smart boy and a strong man, just like his father.
“Hello Thomas Jr.,” Anna whispered. “I’m so happy to be here with you.”
Thomas Jr.’s head bounced side to side for a second and his mouth started moving. His head fell forward to Anna’s chest and she looked down and saw the movement of his lips. His hand pulled at her as his mouth started to close over her shirt. He was near her chest and it made Anna giggle.
“I think he’s still hungry,” Anna said.
She looked at Thomas, who smiled too. The smile then started to fade. “I’ll get Josephine.”
Anna wished she could nurture Thomas Jr. in the way Jo did. She wished she could provide the breast milk Thomas Jr. needed so she could hold him, bond with him, feel his lips attached to her.
As Thomas started to move by her, he stopped. His right hand touched Anna’s left shoulder. The rest of his body touched Anna and Anna tried to control her breathing. Everything about Thomas made her feel so different, so alive. Thomas looked at his son and touched the baby’s head.
Anna looked up at Thomas.
There was a look of content on his face. He looked at Anna.
“Feels right,” he whispered.
“It does,” Anna said.
Thomas Jr. continued to chew at Anna’s shirt.
“I just wish there wasn’t someone else involved,” Thomas said. “Not that I don’t appreciate Josephine...”
“I wish too,” Anna said. “I wish I could...”
“Maybe someday,” Thomas said.
Anna opened her mouth to remind Thomas that she hadn’t been able to have a child but she decided against it. Why ruin such a tender moment?
Thomas squeezed Anna’s shoulder and then left to get Jo.
When Anna handed Thomas Jr. off to Jo, she went to work, cooking a breakfast that Thomas enjoyed as much as the dinner the night before. He then set off to work, and Anna had her first full day in the house. To explore it, to clean it, and to keep her mind and head straight. She replayed everything, from the second Thomas touched her wrist after dinner to his big hand sliding into hers as they walked through the house with candles in the middle of the night. Those were moments that nobody would know about. That made Anna happy, knowing she had something she could share with Thomas for the rest of their lives.
Lunchtime quickly came and Anna cooked and watched Thomas walk through the fields back towards the house. She marveled at how he moved, constantly scanning the field, ensuring the perfection of his land. He was a man who took pride in what he had, never taking it for granted. When he was close enough to the house to see Anna, he looked at her through the window and stopped walking. Anna wasn’t sure what to do next, but something came at her like a rolling boulder straight to her heart.
Staring at Thomas right then proved something to her.
She wanted to be married to him.
Right away.
Not in a week. Not in a month.
She wanted to be his wife.
She wanted to be Anna Calhor.
And not just because of the arrangement made through their exchange of letters either. She felt it in her heart right then, staring at him.
She wanted to be his wife.
Once lunch had been served and Jo took Thomas Jr. for another feeding (“Oh, this baby is like his father,” Jo said with her large smile, “he enjoys his meals!”) Thomas approached Anna in the kitchen and said, “I’m going to go into town today. I need to get some supplies.”
“I wouldn’t mind getting some cloth,” Anna said. “If that’s okay.”
“Of course it is,” Thomas said. “Are you going to make something for yourself?”
“No. I was thinking of making something for Thomas Jr.”
Thomas looked touched. “All the money and you want to spend it on my son?”
“Yes,” Anna said. “You too. You have a small tear at the back of your pants.”
“My Anna,” Thomas whispered. “I just wish...”
Anna could see where the look in Thomas’s eyes appeared to be going. To that distant place where the memories played over and over, like some kind of haunted showing. She would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that she feared Thomas would go to that place inside his mind one day and never return. But she vowed to fight it. To win him over. To become part of his routine, his life.
“May I show you something?” Anna asked.
“As in?”
“I have something in my suitcase for you... well, actually it’s now in a drawer.”
“Sure,” Thomas said.
Jo walked into the kitchen, holding Thomas Jr. and Thomas quickly took the baby, coddling him and rocking him. Anna had to appreciate watching this big strong father holding his son in such a way, but it was the only choice Thomas had at that moment. Thomas Jr. was technically motherless... something Anna hoped to fix.
“I’m going to go into town with Anna today,” Thomas said to Josephine. “Would you like to join us?”
“Yes,” Jo said. “I could stand some social time. And I do have a small list of items I need.”
“I’ll pay the costs,” Thomas said.
“No you won’t,” Jo said. “I’m more than capable.”
Anna finished washing up after lunch and turned towards Thomas. She let her eyes do the talking, begging him to go into the bedroom so she could show him something.
“Come,” Thomas said.
They walked the same path they did the night before. Only today it was light in the house. And Thomas carried Thomas Jr.. Everything seemed so opposite of the night before. Anna secretly hoped what she had for Thomas would finally make him understand everything. But even if he didn’t, she’d continue to take care of everything. Her heart told her so. Thomas was worth it.
In the room, Thomas waited as Anna moved some of her clothing aside in a drawer. She touched the envelope and hoped she was doing right by everyone. It had actually been Mary’s suggestion and the second Anna heard Mary say it, it made sense to do.
Anna turned and handed Thomas the envelope.
“What’s this?” Thomas asked.
“This is the
letter Jo sent,” Anna said. “I’m sure you didn’t get a chance to read it.”
Thomas looked flabbergasted. “I was actually more mad Josephine sent the letter without letting me read it than actually sending the letter.”
“Now you have your chance.”
“And you brought this all this way...”
“Of course,” Anna said. “I knew it had to mean something to you.”
“It’s more than just something... will you take Thomas Jr., please?”
Anna took the baby and held him out, staring at his perfect face. She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows. Thomas Jr. didn’t smile. He just stared. That didn’t matter though, Anna was starting to love the infant as much as she felt herself loving Thomas. She hugged Thomas Jr. and rocked him as Thomas read the letter. Anna tried to read his face but Thomas only seemed to have one face to offer... that of stone.
When he finished and looked up, he nodded.
“It doesn’t make me any happier that she took the first step in all this,” Thomas said as he stood and stepped towards Anna. “But it did bring you here... so how mad could I be?”
Anna stared back at Thomas and felt her emotions running wild. She told herself if it wasn’t for Thomas Jr. being in her arms, she would have jumped at Thomas, wanting to feel his embrace.
“Anna, he’s fallen asleep,” Thomas whispered.
Anna looked and saw that Thomas Jr. had indeed fallen asleep. Right on Anna’s shoulder. Anna smiled and felt her heart growing again. Just yesterday the infant cried when Anna held him. Now he had fallen asleep in her arms.
What could make the day more perfect?
Thomas took Anna’s hand and placed the letter back into it.
“Keep it,” Anna said.
“No,” Thomas said. “I don’t need it. But I do have something to say to you, my Anna.”
“I’m listening.”
Thomas began to rub his thumb against Anna’s palm. Thanks to the roughness of his thumb and the thick callus on the tip of his thumb, it tickled. However, what felt as a ticklish feeling only lasted a few seconds before it turned into something else. Something flowed through her body that made her feel things she wasn’t sure were right, or pure, considering she wasn’t married and she was holding a baby. There was certainly a connection present between she and Thomas.
“My Anna,” Thomas said, “you’ve done so much already. You’ve written to me. Written back to me. You’ve traveled to me. You’ve saved money I sent you. And I see the way you want to care for Thomas Jr. and how much you’re willing to work at everything. Last night I woke and touched your shoulder, my Anna, while you slept. The first time a person was in bed with me since... my wife died. The emotion overcame me and I had to leave the room. I feared waking you as I wept because I feared you would think I didn’t love you. But that’s not the case, my Anna. I wept because I knew the next step had come to me. So, my Anna, I want to go to town today not just for supplies, but to make you my bride. I want you to ride back with me as Mrs. Thomas Calhor. So we can be husband and wife.”
Thomas then looked to Thomas Jr. and smiled.
“And we can be father and mother.”
“Oh, Thomas,” Anna said. “That sounds wonderful. If anything moves too fast... or you’re...”
Thomas set his eyes to Anna’s again with a look she would carry for the rest of her living days and beyond. The color, the way they enamored her, controlled her, gave her the feeling that something greater than she, Thomas, and even Thomas Jr. was suddenly became present in the room. That God was there with them, helping them, guiding them.
“Anna, the only thing that ever seems to be moving too fast is time,” Thomas said. “And that we cannot control. Which is why...”
Anna waited to hear the rest of Thomas’s words, picturing them on paper, feeling her heart swaying towards him with each passing second of time. Thomas leaned forward and down, shocking Anna as he pressed his lips to hers. If Anna had breath she would have let out a cry, but Thomas had stolen it away. Their lips remained together and Anna allowed herself to slip away to a place of romance that she knew never existed. She closed her eyes and felt Thomas kiss her again. As he began to part his lips, Anna hesitated, kissed Thomas, and pulled her head back, ending the kiss.
Thomas lingered for a few seconds, smiling, then nodding.
They had a silent conversation then and Anna had the feeling that if Thomas Jr. hadn’t been in the bedroom something would have happened. Something out of wedlock and something that would have carried guilt.
Thomas touched Anna’s face. “Let’s go get married, my Anna.”
“Yes.”
Thomas left the bedroom, Anna looked at the sleeping baby and wanted to weep. For the sorrow. For the hope. For the love. For everything leading to the moment that just occurred. Thomas’s kiss had other implications. Thomas’s kiss had the feeling of moving to the bed. To become together through a deeper connection, one that would be allowed and wanted in marriage. It left Anna feeling conflicted as she exited the bedroom.
West For Love (A Mail Order Romance Novel) (1) (Anna & Thomas) Page 9
