‘Avoid stressing him out.’
‘We can do our best.’ Xane snatched the corn snacks from Spook’s hands. ‘You’ll hate me if I let you eat all this cheesy goodness.’
Spook’s eyes narrowed as if he might argue the point, then his shoulders sagged and he dusted the orange residue from his fingers. ‘I don’t suppose any of you layabouts ventured as far as the kitchen and prepared something to eat?’
‘There’s a casserole in the slow cooker,’ Rock Giant muttered.
‘What?’ Xane’s surprise echoed Spook’s own.
‘Casserole.’ Rock Giant frowned as he looked at the pair of them. ‘You know what that is, right? It needs another ten minutes or so. Time to set the table and rustle up some garlic bread.’ He flipped up onto his feet, and headed for the kitchen.
Spook broke into an enormous smile. ‘Awesome. You’re my new favourite house guest. You can come again.’
‘Does this mean I get upgraded from the chicken coop?’
‘If there was an actual alternative, totally.’
‘When the hell did you make casserole?’ Xane asked, still incredulous.
‘After we went mushroom picking.’
‘There aren’t woodland mushrooms in it, are there?’ Luthor asked warily.
Spook, who had followed Rock Giant into the kitchen area, lifted the lid off the slow cooker, which released the rich aroma of chicken, vegetables and gravy. ‘Frankly, I don’t care if that’s all that’s in it. This looks fabulous.’ He found a piece of bread and dipped it into the pan. ‘Mm … mm. You definitely win the best house guest award.’
Chapter 16
Dani allowed herself to become engrossed in the two films and the after-dinner conversation. It was easier than thinking about what came next in her relationship with Xane and how she felt about Luthor.
It was odd. While they were making out, her libido seemed to override her worries and most of her guilt about what they were doing. She didn’t dwell on consequences or wider society’s opinions, but once it was over it was a totally different matter.
What they were doing wasn’t normal. It wasn’t accepted behaviour. People formed couples. Triangles were a no-no. God and her mother wouldn’t approve.
Not that she gave a whole lot of shit about either any more.
That didn’t mean she wanted to be part of a threesome though. She watched Luthor’s reflection in the window above the kitchen sink. He was currently drying a pan lid, and looking stupidly gorgeous. He still hadn’t put a shirt on, even though it was dark outside now, which meant she was getting an eyeful of his washboard abs, and finding it super-difficult not to stare at the little tiny tuft of golden hair that poked above his ridiculously low-rise shorts every time he reached up to put something away in a top cupboard.
The man ought to have been a surfer. He had that sort of athletic golden-boy vibe and physique.
He turned around, and then it was the top of his firm and sexy arse he was flashing. Dani’s mouth immediately turned dry. She’d watched her boyfriend fuck him only a few hours ago, and, if she was one hundred per cent honest, she wanted to see it over again. Yet how could she agree to that? If she allowed them to repeatedly fuck, the two men wouldn’t be fuck buddies, they’d be lovers. It wouldn’t be casual. It’d be intense. That’s how Xane loved. Hell, he was half in love with Luthor already – as most likely was she. The only reason Xane wasn’t completely smitten was that he was holding part of himself back so that he didn’t get nearly so hurt if she used her veto.
Dani pulled her hands out of the soapy water and tipped the casserole pot over so the suds drained away. It wouldn’t be fair to either Xane or Luthor to pull the plug on this now. It would hurt them both, and she didn’t want to cause them pain. Also, she’d be doing it because she was a wimp, not because she didn’t actually believe they could make it work or she found the very idea of them loving one another intolerable.
They were crazily damned sexy when they were entwined within one another’s arms. So blisteringly hot, only the most homophobic, asexual person on the planet couldn’t admit they were beautiful. She didn’t think she had it inside herself to be that person, not about the man she loved, or the friend who wanted to be more. Moreover, even if she believed she could be that bitch, logic said that in the long term she’d be spiting herself.
If she sent Luthor away, she was confident that Xane would respect her decision, but, taking the long view, she really wasn’t sure he would agree to never fuck another man. Eventually, another Luthor would come along, and that new Luthor might not be quite so interested in maintaining her happiness.
He might be an actual love thief.
Her eyes filled with tears, as she contemplated taking the essential next step. Dani rapidly blinked them away. Luckily, neither man was paying her much attention at the moment. They were supposed to be emptying and reloading the dishwasher, but double the number of hot looks were being cast as knives and forks being sorted into the drawer.
Could she actually do this?
She imagined stepping forward so that she was standing between them, taking both of them by the hand and walking to the bedroom. Climbing onto the bed once they were there – and then what? Allowing both men to touch her? She’d sworn blind to Luthor only that morning that she would never consent to sexy times with him. Just contemplating allowing anyone other than Xane to touch her in that way made her jittery as hell. Still she couldn’t quite evict the image of him lying facing her on a bed, caressing her and kissing her. Or the memory of him climaxing while looking her in the eyes.
She was doomed. Absolutely doomed.
Tears welled in her eyes again. She rubbed them and got soap in them.
Not even that stinging nightmare was enough to drive away the images of the three of them in bed together, leaving her caught inside a trap where sweet, hot desire did combat with her sickening feelings of guilt.
I love Xane. He’s the one I want. The only one I want. I love Xane.
Xane had her heart. She’d given it freely. It seemed horribly wrong to claim part of it back now and then offer it to another. Admittedly, that’s exactly what Xane was doing to her. He’d said, ‘I love you,’ but now he was siphoning off a little of that love and directing it elsewhere. But just because he was doing it didn’t make it easy or right for her to do so.
She didn’t need two lovers to be happy.
Xane probably did.
She didn’t think she wanted two lovers.
Xane was hard enough to content.
She did wonder what Luthor’s kiss would actually have felt like if she’d allowed him to explore her mouth in the way he’d wanted to.
Dani looked down at the back of her hand. There was nothing there to mark the fact that Luthor’s semen had splashed across it, but it was as if an invisible brand had been placed upon her. She raised her hand to her mouth and tasted her skin.
Nothing but lemony soap.
Oh, God, what was she doing seeking the taste of his come? She was going to end up a complete nutjob if she couldn’t straighten her head out.
The two men were oblivious to her dilemma and joking about. Xane had grabbed a slotted spoon and challenged Luthor to a mock duel. Luthor was brandishing a whisk. The two of them began dancing about, enacting a gloriously pantomime-like fight. It ended abruptly when Luthor slipped on a discarded tea towel and bumped into Xane, sending them both crashing into the American-style upright fridge-freezer.
Dani held her breath. She could see what was coming. The pair of them were pressed together, ragged breaths lifting both of their chests, and their lips were already parted. Hilarity transformed into lust.
Xane didn’t even look at her before he crushed his mouth against Luthor’s, prompting her to scowl, even as another wave of heat swept through her and left her panties damp. If only they didn’t look quite so damned hot sandwiched together.
Dani clutched her hand to her heart. Why couldn’t Luthor have been butt-ugly with no
drumming talent whatsoever? Then she wouldn’t have had to deal with any of this. She could have continued to exist in a nice little bubble of bliss, where Xane was hers and her history wasn’t something she had to confront.
If she screwed this up, her favourite band was going to be without a drummer again, and that would likely mean the end of them, considering how much crap had already befallen them and how dicey some of the relationships were. She certainly didn’t want to be responsible for Black Halo going down the toilet. Meanwhile, her foolish and rapidly pounding heart didn’t want them to stop necking or rubbing their hard-ons against one another.
Her mouth was hanging open.
Eight rows of bright red marks appeared on Luthor’s bare back, caused by Xane’s hard grip. Luthor was assaulting her lover’s neck, marking him. Xane was putty if you did that. He liked his lovers to stamp a mark of ownership on his skin. He was groaning deeply from the pleasure of it.
Ginny picked that moment to walk into the kitchen carrying an empty glass. ‘Just need a glass of juice for Ash to wash his pills down with.’ She stopped, stared at the guys and then at Dani, then back at the guys again, before humming in approval. ‘Why aren’t you in the centre of this smouldering-hot man sandwich? Jeez, don’t stop.’ She patted Luthor’s arse. ‘You’re way better than the porn channel.’
Suddenly, having someone else witness this made it all too insidiously real. Dani stalked past her into the lounge and from there out into the garden.
‘Shit! Sorry, guys,’ she heard Ginny hiss. ‘I’ll go after her.’
Chapter 17
‘Dani, wait!’
It wasn’t Ginny but Luthor who followed her outside.
‘Hold up. Can’t we talk about it?’
No, thank you, she didn’t want to have another chat about how she was over-reacting and everything would be perfect and rosy if she’d only get her head on straight and allow them all to get it on, when and where and however they pleased. Nor did she want to hear him telling her she was special again, and that it wasn’t only Xane he wanted a relationship with.
‘I thought, after earlier, you’d gotten a handle on your emotions.’
Huh! He had to be kidding. Their make-out session on the lawn had only made her confusion worse. Prior to it, she’d only been concerned about whether she felt she could share Xane without going to pieces. Now, she was trying to figure out how the hell she really felt about Luthor. He was making her question her fundamental beliefs – not the stuff about God and moral codes, but truths she really was certain she’d known about herself. Things like there only being space for one man in her heart. She’d been convinced for the longest time that Xane was the only man she ever needed. She hadn’t really looked at other men. And yet Luthor was rapidly bludgeoning his way into her thoughts. She couldn’t get that damn kiss they’d shared out of her head, which was stupid, given it had been about a millisecond long, and barely a kiss at all. She’d shared more intimate moments with Ginny than that.
You haven’t seen Ginny come though, have you?
And one thing she was definitely sure of was that she wasn’t attracted to other women. No fucking chance after the crap she’d been subjected to by the rotten sisterhood.
‘Hey.’ Luthor caught hold of her hand, slowing her flight. ‘Take a breath and talk to me.’
‘I don’t want to.’ She shook her arm, hoping to free her hand from his grasp, but Luthor folded his fingers over the top of her knuckles and refused to let go.
‘Can’t you leave me be?’
‘Not when you’re obviously upset. I’d apologise for kissing him, but I don’t think that’s what’s biting your arse. Stop stewing and spill, pussycat.’
Dani stared steadfastly at the ground around her feet, not keen on the idea of looking up, fearing she’d wind up with a flashback of him climaxing all over her again. She ought to have avoided looking at him altogether and kept her focus firmly on Xane. If she’d done so, her head wouldn’t now be full of dirty thoughts about someone in addition to her boyfriend. Luthor and his sexiness had no place occupying real-estate in her head.
‘I don’t think you’re going to find any answers on the floor.’ He leaned in closer, so that his shadow overlapped hers, and if she did raise her head, she’d be in danger of busting his nose. He rested his free hand on her shoulder, causing her to shiver.
This close to him, she could smell his musky scent, and the faintly oceanic aroma of his deodorant.
‘Talk to me, Dani, or else I’m going to break out my famous interrogation techniques. They’ve been honed to perfection on Hanne and Lykke.’
‘What do they involve, waterboarding?’ Considering all she knew of his two former band-mates, she couldn’t see them breaking easily.
‘Test me and you’ll find out.’
Her only response was a single shake of her head.
‘Right, you were warned.’
Damn him, he actually sounded pleased she’d held her tongue.
Dani looked up in time for Luthor to duck, grab her around the tops of her thighs and throw her over his shoulder in a sort of fireman’s lift, with her head dangling in the region of his butt, and consequently all her blood rushing down so that it pounded inside her ears.
‘No,’ she shrieked, flailing in an attempt to make sure her skirt wasn’t bunched up and revealing anything. ‘Luthor Albrecht, put me down this minute.’ She drummed against his naked back.
He was all muscle, so she doubted he felt much.
‘You know what, I don’t think I will.’ He spun on the spot, making her dizzy. ‘Now, let’s see if I can shake anything loose.’ He jumped on the spot.
‘Aww!’ she cried, not sure if she was furious with him or amused. ‘If you drop me … if you bloody drop me, I’m going to give you so much shit.’
‘What’s that? Drop you?’ He let go of her, so that she slipped down his back an inch or so.
‘No!’ Dani clung to his shorts, except they were so loose, they’d probably fall right along with her so she’d bang her head.
Luthor grabbed hold of her legs securely again and did another pirouette, before setting her down gently on the grass on her bottom. ‘Damn, they must be in Fort Knox, since that didn’t shake any secrets free. It normally works a treat.’
‘Don’t ever pick me up and shake me like that again,’ she said, in several staccato gasps, entirely failing to keep her amusement from slipping into her voice. He was crazy.
‘Spoilsport. I’m not promising. I might need to carry you to bed at some point.’
The smile instantly dropped from her face. ‘That’s never going to happen.’
Luthor parked his bum right beside her. ‘Is that so? Shall I tell you what I think? I think you’re tempted, and that’s what all this is about. It wasn’t the fact that I was kissing Xane that got you rattled a few minutes ago. Nope, not one bit. It was Ginny suggesting you ought to have been sandwiched between us and your libido yelled, “Hell, yes!”’
‘It most definitely didn’t.’
‘Whatever.’ He stretched out on his back, and lay looking up at the stars.
Dani hunched up her legs, folded her arms around her knees and rested her head upon them. ‘I don’t want you like that, Luthor. Doesn’t matter how many times you suggest otherwise, I’m not interested in shagging you.’
He raised a hand to quieten her. ‘I know, you’ve told me. You’re a one-man woman. You’ve selected your life mate, and nobody else is ever going to get a look in. The thing is –’ he rolled onto his side so that he was facing her ‘– I think someone is telling porkies.’
A low growl of annoyance purred in her throat. God, his smug knowingness annoyed her.
‘I do not want to kiss you, fuck you or otherwise.’
‘Course you don’t.’ His oddly coloured eyes shone behind the strands of his overlong fringe. ‘You’ve never entertained a single thought about snogging my face off, or wriggling your pert butt up against my crotch while Xane suc
ks on your tits.’
‘That’s right. That’s your dirty fantasy, not mine.’
‘Oh, no, mine is way cruder than that.’
Dani covered her ears and made loud la-la noises. ‘I can’t hear you.’
‘I might have to demo then.’
He crunched into a sitting position, at which point Dani shot to her feet and took off down the lawn.
In hindsight, running might not have been the most sensible plan, because of course he chased, and with his big long-legged strides caught her in about five seconds. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and lifted her off her feet again. ‘Do you know, it’s been years since I played kiss chase.’ His lips brushed the side of her throat, and he breathed in the scent of her.
Dani stilled, her heart thumping so hard she thought it might burst right out of her chest. The sensation of his lips against her skin sent an intense shiver of arousal rocketing down through her tensed limbs. The muscles in her pussy clenched. There was no way he’d failed to hear her gasp. ‘I can’t do this, Luthor.’
‘Sure you can, just turn around.’
‘I’m in love with Xane.’
‘Kissing me won’t change that. It’ll just mean we can explore new ways of loving him together.’
Part of her wavered – the part that wanted to believe happiness in a relationship involving three people was achievable. The rest of her launched rockets at the idea.
‘Did you just try to nuke me?’
Shit! Could he see into her head? Was there a window on the back of it?
Luthor continued to cuddle her close. ‘Turn around, Dani. Think about this: what’s a kiss when we’ve already shared far more intimate moments?’
Like when they’d both come while looking right into one another’s souls.
That was a good point. Also, Xane liked his kisses – what’s to say she wouldn’t too.
Slowly, she turned around, though she kept her head bowed.
Come Alive Page 16
