And she was going to look at him the whole time she was doing it, so that he knew it was him she was thinking about. That it was thoughts of his mouth on her, his cock filling her, that were driving her frantic.
‘This is not what I want,’ he said, almost slaying her with shock.
The way Dani was stroking him threatened Luthor’s very balance. He braced himself against the tiles. His fingers clawed at the chrome fittings, seeking a means of staying upright. Her mouth on him. The way she flicked at him with her tongue. It was more than he could take. It was too much. Too good. Way too good.
‘Dani, stop. I don’t want to come like this.’ He wasn’t Xane. He couldn’t get worked up to this dramatic a climax and still be ready for round two in under five minutes. The way she was doing him right now was going to knock him senseless for at least twenty.
‘You don’t?’ She sounded shocked, even disappointed.
At least once her mouth was no longer surrounding him it was easier for his brain to function, thus enabling him to spit out more words. ‘I want to be inside you.’
He fished for her, caught and lifted her from her knees up into his embrace. He didn’t care that his nose throbbed when their mouths met. The taste of her more than made up for it. She tasted of sweetness and excitement, combined with a hint of his precome. He lifted her leg, held it up around his hip. His need for her was so great now he was burning up, but the base of the shower was too slippery. If he tried to lift her, they’d both end up injuring themselves.
Luthor jerked open the cubicle doors. The whole room was filled with steam. He carried her through the clouds over to the sink and set her down against the edge of it.
‘I need to get inside you right now.’
That smile. The way it lit her whole body almost finished him off.
‘I like that you want me that much.’
This wasn’t a recent development. He’d always wanted her that much. It was just that until very recently she’d been so far out of reach he hadn’t felt there was a chance of winning her.
‘Dani, I want you so desperately, I’m struggling to contain my damned excitement. Have you any idea how damned hot you are? Or how damned crazy you’ve made me by wrapping your lips around my cock? We’re talking hair-trigger here.’
‘I like the sound of that.’
‘You won’t if I go off.’
‘I think I’ll like it no matter how or when you come. I mean, it’d be flattering having you gush all over me.’
‘Let me gush inside you.’
She dug her teeth into her lip and stared into his eyes. He wasn’t sure what she was searching for in his gaze, maybe some hint that this was a lie, or that his current level of crazy for her wasn’t everything it seemed. He guessed that, whatever it was, he came out trumps, because she suddenly stretched to the side and snagged with her fingertips one of the multiple baskets filled with toiletries and essentials that Spook made available for his guests. ‘I think we can find what we need right here. Um, extra-heavy-duty. I don’t think so. Don’t want you dayglo either.’
‘Dani, just grab whatever.’ She was literally killing him.
Thankfully, whatever was inside the pink foil she grabbed next met with her approval. He watched, jittery with excitement, as she ripped into it and handed him the little hat.
‘You do the honours,’ he gasped, feeling too unsteady to do it right.
‘I’ve not got a whole lot of practice at that.’
‘Together, then.’ He showed her, guided her hands.
‘All this anticipation, all this excitement is just for me?’
She sounded incredulous, as if the fact he wanted her this much had come as so big a shock that she was forced to question it. Meanwhile, he was fucking trembling.
‘Every bit of it, Dani. Every damned bit of it. I seriously want you.’ He pushed her leg up, so that it was hooked over his arm. Her pussy was wet for him, the lips of her slit shiny, pink and slick. ‘Do you want me?’
This was it. The turning point he’d prayed would come, the moment when, hopefully, they finally stopped being rivals for Xane’s love and instead became two parts of a committed threesome.
‘I’m literally melting here. I just hope Xane is OK with this.’
‘He’s fine with it. You know that, or you wouldn’t be here.’ She loved Xane way too deeply to ever betray him.
‘You’re sure this is really all right?’
He realised that this time she was asking an ethical question. ‘All that matters is that it’s right for us. It feels damned right to me. How about you?’
Her smile peeled her lips away from her front teeth. ‘I think so. Get inside me and I’ll let you know for sure.’
He didn’t wait for a second invitation.
She cried out as he sank into her. Groaned so deeply, and gripped him so tightly, it was nearly all over right then. Their gazes met. Their breathing halted, and then fell into perfect synchronisation. ‘Oh … oh … I didn’t think it could possibly feel this good with another man.’
He splayed his hands across her bottom. ‘I get that I’ve a lot to live up to.’
Her heels dug into his arse, urging him on. ‘Doing great so far.’
Both his body and his brain lapped up the compliment. No wonder Xane was so hooked on her. She was precious. Insatiable. And for at least these few minutes – as his need drove him, and became so urgent that he was reduced to animal instinct and little more – she was his.
‘Need you too much.’ He buried his face in her neck, as the rippling of her muscles around him got the better of him. He shattered. Then basked in the sheer bliss of the moment.
Dani held him tight until he was utterly spent. Then she covered his face and jaw in kisses. Luthor gently laid her down upon the floor. They cuddled up close, sharing body warmth as he finished her off with his fingers, and for the second time looked into her eyes as she writhed in ecstasy. It solidified the link they’d forged the first time, and turned it into a bond he didn’t think anything could ever break.
Chapter 31
Xane left the house by the front door intending to walk to clear his head before crawling into bed. The rest of the guys had already headed towards their respective sacks. The evening had vanished, consumed by a seemingly unending discussion and negotiation process, but it was all settled now, at least until the lawyers got hold of it tomorrow morning. Even Rock Giant had eventually agreed that breaking with the band was in Elspeth’s own best interests. It seemed she’d said things to him, before falling asleep in his bed in the Little House, that had convinced Paul she needed to get some distance from Black Halo for the sake of her own mental health. The story that would eventually go out to the press was that she was taking an extended sabbatical to deal with personal matters, and not that she’d been forcibly ousted. It meant they had yet another new musician to find, but at least the tour’s being pushed back to the end of the year meant they’d have time to look for and recruit someone.
Initially, he’d thought he’d go into the woods, but his feet took him in the opposite direction, down to the pier, across to the recording studio, and then along the bare rocks by the water’s edge until he reached the steep bank with terraces cut into it. He spotted something small and furry, possibly a rabbit, on the meadow-like roof of the sauna block. It stared at him with lamp-like eyes before vanishing into the bushes. Fairy lights lit his way up to the second terrace, which was decked and home to the hot tub. Steam was rising off the water and swirling away into space. Who the hell was in there at this time of night? The only bodies he couldn’t account for were Luthor and Dani, who he’d assumed were up on the mezzanine floor. He’d meant to stop by that way on his return to the house and see if he could coax them into bed with him. In any case, it wouldn’t be them taking a late-night dip. He knew his lady love too well. If Luthor was staying the night with them, Dani would be sleeping in her pyjamas again.
Rock Giant, he guessed, was the only other option;
he’d watched Ash and Spook head into their rooms. They were both wiped out, especially Ash. This sort of stress wasn’t going to help his recovery.
‘Paul?’
Evidently not, unless the guy was deliberately giving him the silent treatment.
Maybe someone had turned the tub on and then forgotten to turn it off again? Actually, that was probably it. The damn thing had probably been bubbling away here all night. The fact the cover wasn’t on, and he couldn’t see anyone as he climbed the last of the slope, seemed to confirm that. Xane rounded the bushes and tramped onto the decking. It was a nice little haven Spook had created here. Lots of potted plants, a spectacular view over the lake during the daytime and a big sail shade overhead, so you could enjoy the tub even when the weather wasn’t so grand. He’d just turn the controls off and replace the cover. Then it was definitely time for bed.
Xane was still five steps away when he realised the hot tub wasn’t empty, and that the black of the water wasn’t purely a reflection of the night sky.
‘Oh, no! Oh, fuck!’
Xane scrambled over the side and plunged into the steaming water. It was too damned hot, enough that it stung his skin and made him woozy. He splashed his face, and red rivulets rolled over the back of his hand. This couldn’t be real. When he tried to grab hold, her clothing tore and wrapped around his limbs like fronds of seaweed.
‘No … no …’ Somehow he managed to drag her over the side and on to the decking, where she filled his lap like a broken rag doll. ‘No … no … What have you done? You didn’t need to do this. What have you done?’
Blood oozed from Elspeth’s wrist, more slowly now that she was out of the water, but she’d already lost so much, and now that she was in his arms he could feel exactly how insubstantial she’d become. Nothing much to her but bone and skin.
‘Help!’ he yelled as loud as he could, and he’d spent years perfecting a stadium roar.
She was against him, and his shirt was wet, making it near impossible to tear it from his back to use as a bandage. Instead, shivering, he tore away part of her skirt and clamped it against the flow. ‘Please. Fucking someone … We need an ambulance here now.’
They were on an island; an ambulance was going to do them fuck-all good. They needed a chopper. He made a decision then and there to learn how to fly. Where the hell was the nearest hospital anyway?
‘Xane?’
Oh, thank God … thank God … thank God!
‘Paul! I’m over here.’
‘Elspeth’s not in the chicken coop any more …’
‘Help me.’
For perhaps ten excruciating seconds, Rock Giant stood rooted to the spot. ‘I thought she was asleep. I didn’t think she’d move.’ Then he sped forward, and crashed down onto his knees beside Xane.
‘I just found her. She was in there.’ Xane jerked his head towards the tub. ‘I don’t know how long, or how much blood …’
Rock Giant ripped his shirt off and bound it over the top of the soaked cloth and Xane’s hand, to put more pressure on the wound. He kicked over a potted plant, and used the tub as a support so that he could elevate Elspeth’s arm. Only then did he check the pulse in her throat.
Xane thought he ought to have done that.
‘Get help. Get the others.’ Spook would know what to do and where to take her. ‘I never wished for this.’
Rock Giant flipped back onto his feet. His face was haggard, his eyes glassy black, but his voice emerged scarily calm. ‘She’s been saying she wanted to die, so that she could be with him for months. But there are no happy reunions in death, only darkness.’ He shoved another potted plant behind Xane’s back, relieving some of the burden of keeping her limp body upright. ‘Keep your grip tight and the arm elevated. I’ll find Spook, and we’ll need the keys for the boat. Keep her safe, Xane. I’ll be back as fast as I can.’
Chapter 32
Xane didn’t remember much of the journey to Mariefred, or understand how it was that an ambulance was waiting on the docks. He only recalled being cold and holding on to Elspeth as if the world would splinter around him if he let her slip away. It was only some time later that he managed to piece the clues together to recreate the chain of events: Rock Giant and Spook helping to carry her down to the boat, Spook phoning ahead, so that all he had to do was move when told to do so and, eventually, let go when told to do so too.
‘Here, one of the nurses gave me these for you to change into.’ Spook said, entering the family room carrying a set of cotton scrubs. ‘You need to get changed and warm up before you end up being admitted for hypothermia.’
‘I’m not cold,’ he said, failing to recognise that the irritating chatter in his head was the sound of his teeth knocking together.
‘Xane, you’re soaking wet and you’re shaking. Strip.’
His brain seemed to respond instinctively to the simple instructions. On autopilot he peeled off the clinging wet layers, leaving them in a soggy heap on the floor. Spook gathered them up and stuffed them into the contaminated waste receptacle, while Xane towelled himself off.
The scrubs were thin and way too short in the leg. To begin with, he managed to put the top on back to front.
‘I’d offer to get you a warm drink, but I suspect Paul will scream at me that it’s the wrong thing to do when you’re potentially in shock.’
Was that what this was? He couldn’t keep still. He needed to pace, but the buzzing sensation in his head made him feel woozy.
‘Sit down, Xane, or I will fetch someone in here to check you over. It’s not your fault.’
It was though. He was the one who’d insisted on her removal. He was the one who ought to have listened to Rock Giant when he’d said that Elspeth was crying out for help. Hell, he should have listened to her. She’d tried several times to talk to him during the tour.
‘She didn’t do this because of anything you said or did.’
It seemed to him that the opposite was true. That his actions, not only today, but over the months and years right back to the point when he decided to sleep with her, had led them directly to this moment. All that had happened, every bit of it, had occurred because of the decisions he’d made and actions he’d taken.
‘I screwed everything up, Spook.’
His friend forced him to look at him. ‘No, you didn’t. You’ve made shit decisions and you’ve made good ones, the same as everyone else involved, the same as every human being on the planet does all the time. Xane – Elspeth is not your responsibility. Rid yourself of any idea that she is, right now. There are only three people you need to worry about: yourself, Dani and Luthor. Fix what’s broken there. Smooth off the rough edges and you’ve got yourself the perfect winning combination to keep you sane and happy for the rest of your life. That’s your priority. Not Elspeth. Not the band. Not anything else. Do you understand?’
‘I don’t know how to make it work.’ He tugged at the front of his long hair in frustration.
‘Maybe you don’t need to do anything to fix it besides give it time. The chemistry is already there. All you need to do is wait for the right conditions to exist instead of trying to engineer them.’
Elspeth was propped up in bed, semi-upright, when Xane slipped into the private room she’d been given. They’d waited for hours for news of how she was doing. Rock Giant had sat with her most of the night. The staff would only let one of them at a time into the room. He was surprised to find her eyes were open. There was a whole bank of monitors around her and a drip was still feeding saline into a vein. He shuffled over to the bed slowly, not sure what to say. ‘Are you OK?’ seemed redundant. Clearly she wasn’t, or he wouldn’t have had to fish her out of a vat of her own blood a few hours ago. ‘How are you feeling?’ and ‘I just came to check in on you and say goodbye’ both seemed in equally poor taste.
‘I never got the chance to give you your birthday gift.’ Her voice was barely a whisper, and so dry that it crackled in her throat. ‘Come close, Xane. I know it was you who �
��’ She blinked and swallowed hard, clearly unable to find a pathway through those particular events and emotions. ‘Paul told me.’
Xane crossed to her, even though his stomach felt like lead. She still looked corpse-like, her skin virtually translucent. She’d been barely a hair’s breadth away from death when they’d finally reached the accident unit.
‘Give me your hand.’
Xane warred with his own flight response, as her fingers first curled around his fore-arm, then worked open his hand.
‘Here,’ she murmured, placing something the size of a headache pill in the centre of his palm. She’d closed his fingers over the top of it before Xane had the opportunity to look. ‘He was always yours really, so it makes sense for you to have him. Also, he’d have wanted to stay with the band, and I can’t be part of it any more.’
‘Take as long as you like.’ At some point in the wee hours he’d changed his mind about forcing her out of Black Halo.
‘I will. I don’t think I’m coming back, Xane.’
‘You might do.’ He couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks. It wasn’t just about the band any more, it was about everything they’d ever shared and endured together. The journey they’d been on together had finally reached its end, and he found it wasn’t quite the relief he’d anticipated.
Elspeth tried to reach him a tissue, but the movement set off some alarm or other. ‘You’ll get along fine without me in the way. Xane, I’m sorry about what I had printed. The truth is that I wanted you to hurt. I wanted you to share my pain. I was so happy when Steve said, “I do.” We were going to have a wonderful life together, but it came crashing down so quickly.’
‘Don’t dwell on it. Try not to stress about it.’
‘I need to talk it over, to just ramble about him and all the plans we had. I need to let out all the anger I still have. A lot of which has been aimed at you.’
Come Alive Page 27
