Songs of Yesterday

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Songs of Yesterday Page 11

by Monroe, Jennifer


  She took a step toward a bag lying on the ground, but Holden grasped her arm. He shook his head and began to pick up several of the scattered objects and place them in the cart.

  With a firm nod, Rose reached back into her reticule and produced several silver coins. Pressing them into the hand of the woman, she said, “It is not much, but it might be enough to purchase a bit of food or even find proper lodgings for the night.”

  Tears streamed down the woman’s face. “I cannot accept this, miss.”

  “Please do,” Rose said. “It is all right to receive the aid of others when it is needed.”

  The woman nodded. “Thank you, miss.”

  By the time Rose stood back, Holden was handing up the last of the family’s belongings. Rose smiled as the family continued their journey and soon disappeared from sight.

  When she, Caroline and Holden returned to the carriage, Holden sat in silence as the vehicle lurched forward, his arms crossed over his chest. Clearly he was not happy with how Rose had spoken to him in front of their lessers, but she could not have cared less. His actions this day had angered her, and she was certain this outing would be their last if she had anything to do with it. What woman wanted a man who had so little regard to his fellow man?

  Chapter Eleven

  It was fascinating how brightly the sun could shine, how clear and blue the sky could be, and even how soft the blanket beneath Rose could feel, and yet she wanted nothing more than to return home. Not to Scarlett Hall, but rather London. There she never had to face the turmoil she felt at this moment.

  Beside her sat Caroline, and across from them sat Holden, his frown doing little to improve her mood. She had relented and continued on to the picnic because Holden had given in and helped the man on the road, but the fact he had acted so inhumanely did not sit well with her. Was his gallant demeanor just an act? One thing she could not abide was rudeness, not when the receiver of such behavior had done nothing to justify it.

  As Holden poured the wine, Rose could not help but think it was a great shame that such a handsome man could be so horrible.

  “I hope you like it,” he said as he handed her the glass.

  Rose thanked him and took a sip. It was a fine vintage with a bold fruity taste with just a hint of oak. She looked at Caroline, who also received a glass and smiled after taking a drink.

  “Oh, this is quite wonderful,” Caroline said, but Holden gave her no more than a perfunctory nod.

  “May I prepare you some cheese?” he asked. “Or perhaps a hunk of freshly baked bread? It is still warm.”

  “No, thank you,” Rose replied.

  Caroline, of course, nodded, and as Holden portioned out the food, Rose studied the landscape around them. They sat in a small glen that overlooked a valley. The leaves from the trees were all but gone, and they had crunched beneath their feet as they spread the blanket on the ground.

  A sprinkling of dahlias dotted the countryside, the last of their purple blossoms holding even this late in the season. Even a few gladiolas fought to remain in bloom, mixed in with begonias of all sorts of colors. She had never considered that so many flowers would bloom so late in the year.

  Her gaze returned to Holden. How could he have been so churlish to those people? Their entire lives spilled on the road and he could do nothing but mock them until she had stepped in. It just was not right! And he called himself defiant? He was no different than most others of the ton!

  “I enjoy the white flowers,” Holden said, interrupting her thoughts. “Although I have no idea what they are called. I have always called them ‘white drops’.”

  Rose smiled. “That is not all that far from their true name, which is snowdrop.” Her cheeks heated. “They are my favorite, as well.”

  The frown Holden had been wearing dropped as he reclined on the blanket, propping himself upon his elbow. “It appears we have a bond now,” he said with a broad grin. “As I told you before, we already had. Perhaps in the future you will not doubt me.”

  He used his wineglass to point at her as he said this, and she considered throwing hers at him. For a brief moment, the breath of a second, she, too, had believed they had something in common. Yet, he could not leave it at that. Oh, no, he had to attach a nettle of accusation to his statement.

  Glancing down at his coat, he swiped at it. “I feel this coat is ruined.”

  Rose squinted. “I see nothing wrong with it.”

  Holden snorted. “Just touching that chattel leaves me feeling as if I have creatures writhing all over me.” His shiver was exaggerated. “That man should have sold all his belongings. No, burned them. Any man who could allow his wife to wear such filthy clothing is beyond me. Even the lowest of my servants keep a tidy appearance. There is no reason to appear in public in such a state. Have they not considered washing?”

  Rose pursed her lips in an attempt to calm the ire that bubbled inside her. “Has it not occurred to you that there are people out there who are in situations in which they would prefer not to be? If that man had possessed the means to purchase an appropriate dress, do you believe he would not do so? And soap of all things? Did you not notice that they were as thin as reeds? I image that food is of much more import than soap, for assuaging one’s hunger will keep the body alive whereas soap will merely keep it clean. Plus, if they have no home, where do you propose they bathe? What river or stream exists along the road here?”

  Holden did not seem affected by her tone, although he said, “I suppose I have never given it much thought. Perhaps you are right, but it is best not to concern ourselves with the likes of the poor.”

  “Oh?” Rose asked, her clenched jaw paining her. “And why is that?”

  “It has always been that way,” the man replied easily. “Those of lower standing should not be acknowledge, or they will believe they have worth.”

  Rose could no longer contain her anger as tears spilled over her lashes. “I believe I understand now. In fact, I have come to a better understanding about everything you have told me since we first met.”

  “And what, pray tell, is that?” Why did he have to appear so amused?

  “You speak of the old ways and how they should be cast aside, yet it appears you wish only to do so when those ways impede you getting what you want. Otherwise you ignore them.”

  “I see no reason to concern myself with what does not affect me,” Holden replied, now with a hint of defensiveness in his tone. “I see to my needs; they should see to theirs. If everyone simply did that, the world would be a much better place. In my opinion, if I give the man more than what he earns, he will grow complacent and expect me to care for him until he dies. How is that fair to me?”

  “And therein lies the crux of the problem,” she said. “For all your talk of defiance and wishing to be different from those who came before us, you live your life and think just as they do. You, Mr. Bradshaw, are no different from them. If we do not care for those who ease our lives, who will complete their tasks? I know I do not wish to clean a chimney or wash my clothes. I also would prefer not to clean the stables or empty the chamber pots, but someone must.”

  He went to respond, but she did not allow him. She had erupted, and nothing would keep her from spewing what she had to say!

  “As for that man and his family? You heard his story. What can such a man do when he is unable to find employment? He has no means to wash, no way to keep his family fed. How will he ever be able to present himself to someone such as yourself and request employment? It is obvious that, if he approached a potential employer like you, he would be turned away in an instant, leaving the man and his family in even direr straights. But that should not concern you in the least, now should it?”

  She took a rather long drink of her wine in hopes to ease her anger. Never in her life had she been this angry. Too many people of her station had the same outlook as Holden, and she was sick of their contemptuous behavior.

  Holden rubbed his chin, frowning. She readied herself for anoth
er point of contention. Let him attack her with his arguments! She was ready.

  Yet, he surprised her. “You are right,” he said, rising to a seated position. “Perhaps I have twisted the rules to serve me.” He shook his head as if in wonderment. “I have once again learned something new from you.” He pointed toward a cluster of snowdrops. “You promised to teach me about nature on this outing, and that you did. What I had not expected was a lesson in humanity. I must admit that it never occurred to me that those beneath me,” Rose shot him a glare and he cleared his throat, “those of lesser means than I,” he corrected, giving her a wide grin, “should be considered with such clemency. Yet again, I find myself intrigued by your wisdom.”

  Her anger dissipated, replaced by a sense of joy. Perhaps he simply had never been taught the downfall of stomping on those weaker than oneself. Yet, he took her words into consideration. Maybe there was hope for him after all.

  He placed a hand upon hers. “It takes a true man to admit he was wrong,” he said.

  “Indeed,” Rose replied.

  “Just as it takes a true lady to admit when she is wrong.”

  Rose gave him a quizzical look. Wrong? How had she been wrong?

  Before she could ask, he said, “You were correct about the snowdrops, but concerning the peasants on the road? You were only partly right.”

  “Partly?” she asked in astonishment. So, this was how he dealt with adversity. He argued every point until he could be right down to the most minute element. How very noble, she thought with an inward sigh.

  Holden collected the wine glasses. “Was it your mother who brought you up to converse with those of lower status?”

  Rose shook her head. “No, but I do not see how that…”

  “If I may,” he interrupted. “You spoke to those people regardless of what you had been taught. Therefore, you are no different than I.”

  For the first time, Caroline spoke. “I see no comparable…”

  “Now, now, Caroline,” he said, wagging a finger at her. “I have not said my piece yet.” He turned back to Rose. “I believe that we can both learn from one another. You, being the rigid old soul you are, fill your days with embroidery rather than adventure, just as I imagine your mother does. I, a very eligible bachelor, needs advice on how to speak to others. Do you not see? We are meant for each other. What I need, you have, and what you need, I have. We will make a fine couple. Therefore, I ask you, Miss Skylark, a woman as beautiful as the flowers that surround us, will you allow me to court you?”

  Rose’s mind spun and she found it difficult to think. There was something flawed with the man’s logic, but she could not see what that something was. Had he deliberately chosen to confuse her? “Mr. Bradshaw,” she refused to use his Christian name, “you have insulted me more than once today. I am interested in finding the proper suitor, a gentleman, not a man who boasts about himself and speaks to people he considers beneath him as if they carry the plague.”

  “Do you not agree that we complement one another?”

  How could he even suggest such a thing? They were much too different to come close to complementing one another. “I do not,” she replied. “In fact, I wish to return home.” She stood and glared down at him. “And if I may kindly add one more thing?”

  “I doubt I can do anything to stop you,” his tone much too amused for her liking.

  She wished he had not looked up at her at that moment, for his eyes pulled at her heart. The man possessed some quality that she found compelling, but what that was, she did not know. “I think it best we do not see each other again,” she said. Somehow, the request seared her soul.

  His jaw fell open and for a brief moment, pain filled his eyes. It had not been her intention to hurt him, but she could no longer carry on as if they had anything beyond contempt for one another.

  “I understand,” he said, his voice low and lacking the anger she had expected. “Forgive me.” He chuckled, but it had a melancholy sound to it. “I will collect the blanket and basket so we can leave.”

  Relief washed over Rose, yet the confusion remained. Why did she feel guilty for her decision? It was her right to refuse him. However, had she made the correct decision? Something inside her said she had not, but she could not place a finger as to a reason why.

  ***

  That evening, Rose sat on her bed as Caroline worked the loose floorboard in order to retrieve Juliet’s bottle of brandy. Although Rose still found the idea of drinking alcohol straight from the bottle in one’s bedroom unseemly, the debacle at the picnic called for it.

  Yet, she could not help but wonder if she had made a mistake requesting that Holden never call on her again. He had stated they had the tiniest bit in common, and she readily agreed, but to believe they shared enough on which to build a more lasting relationship was nonsensical.

  “Perhaps we should hide this in a drawer,” Caroline said as she brought the bottle to the bed. “It will be far easier to acquire.”

  Caroline was simply trying to break the tension, so Rose offered her a small smile.

  Once she had removed the cork, Caroline brought the bottle to her lips and took a hefty drink. “I must admit, I do enjoy brandy,” she said, giving the bottle an appreciative nod before handing it to Rose.

  Rose also took a drink, a much smaller one, and the strong liquid burned her throat, although this time she held back the cough that attempted to overtake her. “I do admit,” she managed to say once the burning subsided, “I wish I could have met Juliet. From what I have garnered, she would have been one who would give sound advice on my situation.”

  Caroline smoothed her dress and sighed. “I am not as experienced in the ways of men as Juliet…” She looked up. “I do not mean to say that she had experience in that way with men but rather that she knew how to handle them.”

  Rose laughed. “I did not take it any other way.”

  Caroline breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, I may not know as much about men, but I do have basic knowledge about life.”

  Rose had not meant to offend the woman. “I realize this, but I am torn on what I should do. You must agree that his behavior today was unacceptable.” Caroline gave a small nod but said nothing. “Caroline? You do agree, do you not?”

  Adjusting the pillows stacked behind her, Caroline scooted back and leaned against the headboard. “I believe the way he spoke to those people on the road today was quite callous. I have seen Father do the same, and I agree that such treatment is unwarranted.”

  Rose smiled. The woman did see sense.

  “However,” Caroline continued, and Rose tensed, “although I believe he was rude during the picnic, and behaved in a most ungentlemanly way, the manner in which you handled it did not ease the situation.”

  “I?” Rose asked, flabbergasted. “I hardly believe I brought any of this upon myself.”

  The room fell quiet before Caroline turned toward Rose. “I do see you as a close friend, but Holden was correct when he said you are quite stringent. He admitted when he was wrong, but when he pointed out that you, too, were wrong in your own way, you refused to budge an inch to admit he could be right.”

  “But I did nothing wrong,” she replied angrily. “It was he who was rude toward me. Did you not see how he attempted to belittle me during our outing?” She reached for the bottle and pulled it from Caroline’s hand. “I did nothing wrong; I am sure of it.” She pulled the bottle to her lips and took a long drink, shaking her head at the burning feeling it left.

  “May I offer a bit of advice,” Caroline said, taking back the bottle when Rose offered it to her.

  Rose sighed. It would do no good being angry at Caroline. The woman had been nothing but helpful since her arrival. “Please.”

  “The man admitted that you are good for each other, and for all his pride, he did confess that you had already taught him much.”

  “He did,” Rose said, thoughtfully. “I admit that I was so angry at the time that I did not appreciate the fact th
at he said as much.”

  Caroline nodded. “Is there not more you can teach him?”

  Rose laughed. “Without sounding vain, I believe there is.”

  “Can you also admit there could be something he may be able to teach you, as well?”

  The thought of such silliness made Rose sniff with disdain. “I cannot see what he can possibly teach me.”

  “Come now,” Caroline said, “you cannot tell me that you do not find his sense of adventure freeing?”

  Rose considered this. “I suppose that is true, but how will that help me?” The look Caroline gave her made Rose laugh. “Because I am…how did you say it? Stringent? And he said I was rigid.” She sighed. It was all too much to consider tonight, and she desperately wanted to change the subject. “Oh, very well. I will give this matter some serious thought. Thank you for your wisdom and your friendship. Now, let us discuss Mr. Banner and his upcoming arrival. Are you excited?”

  “Oh, I am!” Caroline exclaimed, scooting around to face Rose. “He is quite handsome, and very honorable, and if he asked to court me, I would accept without hesitation!”

  “So soon?” Rose asked in wonderment. “Surely you need more time to consider such an important decision.”

  “Not when it concerns Lord Banner,” Caroline replied with a small laugh. “A man such as he is quite rare, and I will take no chances that another woman catches his eye.”

  They continued to discuss Caroline’s future until well past midnight, and after Caroline returned to her room, Rose lay in bed thinking of her life since arriving at Scarlett Hall. This afternoon she had wished to return to London; however, now, after speaking with Caroline, she found she wished to remain.

  And as to Holden, she was still undecided. Yet, no matter what, she would not rush into anything, that much was certain.

  Chapter Twelve

  Four days after the picnic disaster, Holden had yet to speak to his father. The man had been away on business and returned home early this morning. Holden had spent the night before drinking alone, allowing his imagination to get the best of him.

 

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