Without waiting for her response, the man walked away, leaving Rose to contemplate what he had said. She should not have been surprised, but to think that he continued the ruse of being a changed man in order to get her…where?
She gasped. “His bedchamber!” she said in a hoarse whisper. Unable to stomach the thought that she had even considered he could be a decent man, she hurried from the ballroom. To be in the same room with Mr. Holden Bradshaw was more than she could take!
***
As Holden went to return to Rose with the two glasses of punch, he was stopped by Miss Emma Burnsworth, a young woman of nineteen who talked incessantly without saying anything of great import.
Several times he attempted to excuse himself only to have the woman move on to another subject as if he had not said a word. He had known her since they were children, and even in her younger years, the woman had been as such.
In the past, Holden had no concern for her feelings and would simply walk away, but now he found the idea distasteful. Perhaps this new man he was becoming was not worth the effort. Yet, no, he had no choice.
He glanced over at Lady Lambert, who stood speaking with his father.
What can they be discussing? he wondered. He prayed it was not an upcoming wedding. He had to convince Rose that he was worthy of her trust first.
Rose. He was pleased she had come. For some reason, he had expected her to have some sort of excuse to not attend. Yet, this was also where they were to end their feigned courtship, so perhaps he should not be surprised she was in attendance.
He glanced over to where he had left Rose and was shocked to see she was gone. Had the woman given up on him already? Well, it was his own fault for keeping her waiting.
“David’s parties never compare to yours,” Emma was saying as Holden watched their host hurrying out of the ballroom. What woman had he convinced to meet him in a shadowy corner this time?
He turned his attention back to the woman before him. “I appreciate you saying so,” he said. “I do not wish to be rude, but…”
Once again, Emma ignored him. “Is it true that Miss Skylark is residing at Scarlett Hall? I have always wanted to see what the inside of that house.” She gave him a pout. “I never seem to be invited to any of their functions, as few—and I should say small—as they are.”
“Nor have I,” Holden replied, taking advantage of the momentary silence. “I really must…”
“I do wonder why the Lamberts never have any grand parties. According to Mother, not even when Lord Lambert was alive…”
Holden’s patience was running thin, yet he feigned interest, nonetheless. His father had been watching him closely all evening, much to Holden’s annoyance. Did the man not trust him?
Then he almost laughed. Of course he did not. Holden gave him little reason to. Once he learned that the courtship was a ruse, his father would erupt in anger, and Holden would accept whatever punishment that was due him.
Holden wished he could simply be honest with his father, but he learned long ago that lying served him much better than speaking the truth. His father’s temper could be terrible—Holden’s backside had seen more lashings than the house had seen paint when he was younger—and the thought of one more look of disappointment from the man churned Holden’s stomach.
The time for lashings were long past, and if he was to prove to Rose he was a changed man, perhaps he should accept his due punishment. Lying was for children, and it was time Holden became an adult. His father would have to accept him for who he was. At least that was what Holden hoped to convey as he came to this decision.
Emma had moved on to the story of how she had gained her new horse, and much to his relief, David walked up to them. “Forgive me, but I must speak to Holden for a moment.”
“Very well,” Emma said, attempting to cover her shock at being interrupted mid-sentence. “We must speak later.”
“Indeed,” Holden replied. He bowed and followed David. “Oh, thank you! You have no idea how much that woman was driving me mad. How is she able to speak so long without taking a breath?”
“I do not know nor do I care,” David snapped, very much out of character. “I must inform you that Miss Skylark is terribly upset.”
“Rose?” Holden asked. He glanced around the ballroom but did not see her. “What is wrong with her?”
David sighed. “It appears your conversation with Emma has upset her. You know how jealous women can be. I tried to calm her but failed in my attempt.”
Holden gave a light chuckle, although his stomach clenched at the thought of Rose being upset with him. “I will go and explain that she has nothing about which to worry. Where is she?”
“She has gone to the wine cellar to select a wine,” David replied.
Holden frowned. “Wine?”
“It was either that or have her in tears in front of everyone,” David said, sounding as if he was keeping his frustration at bay. “We could not have that now, could we? Can you imagine what either of our parents would say if that happened?”
“No, I suppose not,” Holden replied. “Take me to her.”
“Follow me.” David turned and left the ballroom without looking to see if Holden was following.
With hurried steps, Holden followed his friend. Why would Rose be jealous of him speaking to another woman? Rose and he were acquaintances at best—friendship would have been stretching what they had. Plus, they were to end their mockery of a courtship tonight.
“I have never seen a woman so upset,” David said as he glanced back at Holden. “Surely her heart is broken.”
“I do not understand why,” Holden replied, fighting back the guilt that made little sense. He had forgotten that David knew nothing of the mock courtship between him and Rose. It was rare that Holden kept anything from his friend, but after their last conversation, he had not felt comfortable with telling him about their little arrangement. “I was caught by Emma, and you know how she is. I had no ill intentions.”
He followed David down the servants’ hall and into the basement. The air was cold and damp when they arrived at a large door. David smiled as he produced a large silver key. “She is in there.”
“Thank you,” Holden said as he stepped through the door, the room dark except a slight glow in a far corner. He stopped and turned around. “If anyone asks of our whereabouts, do not tell them.”
“Now, would that be a gentlemanly thing to do?” David asked.
“What do you mean?” David never equated anything he did to being gentlemanly, not to Holden, that is.
“You told me that we are supposed to be gentlemen,” David said with a sneer. “And that is what I shall be when they come searching for you!” And with that, he slammed the door closed.
Holden heard the key turn in the lock, and he stared at the closed door in utter amazement. For some reason, he still held the two wine glasses—why had he not set them on a table first?—and he placed them on a nearby barrel. Then he balled up his fists and hit them against the heavy door.
“David! Let me out of here! Why have you done this?”
There was no response, and he banged on the door again. This time when he stopped, he heard a sniffle behind him. Turning, he saw Rose standing with a candle in one hand and her other arm wrapped around her waist, tears streaming down her face.
“He said he would send my aunt Eleanor,” she said. “What is he doing?”
Holden glared at the door as if it were David himself. “He wishes to ruin both our names,” he murmured, attempting to keep his anger concealed. There was no reason to upset the woman further. “I am afraid that he is angry with me for chastising him on his motives about…a particular issue. I never thought him capable of going this far to get even with me.”
“But he told you to change your ways,” Rose said. “That is what he told me.”
Holden groaned. “I promise you, he is lying.”
“Then you did not call on me for your own gain?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “To w
oo me with lies in order to get me into your bed?”
He walked over to her. “I have no wish to woo you,” he said. Then his heart filled with guilt. “I will be honest with you. When I first called on you, I had no interest beyond a nicely turned ankle.” Her blush sent a pleasant shiver down his spine. “That is…what I meant to say is that my initial intentions were not to woo you.”
She placed the candle on a nearby crate. “Then why did you call on me,” she asked, her arms crossed under her breasts.
Holden pulled two crates close together. “May we sit? I believe it may be a while before anyone comes searching for us.”
“I suppose so,” Rose replied.
The music trickled beneath the door, a playful melody that belied their surroundings. “I would like to explain the entire truth to you,” he said with a heavy sigh.
“I would like that, for I am uncertain what to believe any longer.”
Holden nodded. “You see, my father has grown exceedingly angry with me for my behavior.” He chuckled. “To be honest, he has every right to be angry, for I have not been a very dutiful son. He told me in no uncertain terms that I was to find a woman to court and eventually marry…”
He told her what had transpired the day he had missed yet another meeting with his father, ending with how he had chosen her as the woman who would keep his father happy.
“So, you see, my initial purpose was to appease my father,” Holden finished. “However, the little time we have spent together has opened my eyes to the potential of what a relationship can offer. I know I have made an utter fool of myself, but I want you to know that I never intended to hurt you. I was only trying to save my own hide.”
Rose wiped at her eye. “And why did you lie to your father about my response to your proposal of courtship? And I want the truth. I know you wanted to postpone marriage, and I was one who could aid in that goal, but there had to be more that pressured you into lying to your father about us.”
Holden dropped his eyes to the stone floor, ashamed to meet her fierce gaze. “Father promised me an advance on my inheritance if I convinced you to agree to a courtship. I became greedy, and so I asked you. When you refused, I grew desperate. My father would only become angry when he learned the truth, and I would lose the money promised me.”
“So you only asked because you wanted money.”
With a heavy sigh, Holden replied, “Yes. The story I told about Father threatening to send me to the mines in Dover was a lie, as well.” How it pained him to admit this truth. Why had he been so indifferent to her feelings? “However, seeing how much this has all pained you, I feel sick. You must understand, lying has become second nature to me. I have told so many lies in the last few years, that I imagine that the truths can be counted on one hand.”
Rose turned her gaze away. “For some reason, I had hoped that you would change, that by some miracle, our courtship could take place in truth. I can see that it was all folly.” Tears glistened in her eyes once more, ripping at Holden’s heart.
“And that is exactly what I wanted to show you, that I have changed. That we indeed have something together, something we can grow.”
Rose stood and glared at him. “How can you be so blind?” she said. “You have crushed me! And now, because of you, we are locked inside this room together. What do you think will happen when they find us here? Do you think they will believe any story we tell them, no matter how innocent? I have lived my life adhering to all the rules, and now all that will be for not. Do you honestly believe I can consider any future with you after what you have done to me?”
She stomped off to the far side of the large room, leaving Holden in the dark to consider her question, and he knew the answer would be no.
Chapter Sixteen
Rose moved as far away from Holden as she could get and plopped herself down on a barrel just below a small window that sat high above her. The evening had begun curiously enough, but it would certainly end in shame. She had no doubt that soon they would be caught together, and no amount of discussion would ease her humiliation.
With conflicting accounts between Holden and his friend, Mr. Banner, she was not certain who to believe. Yet, had Mr. Banner lied to her in the past as Holden had? Even if she believed Holden, that belief would never help her in her present situation. If anything, it would only hurt her. How many young women her age had been caught alone with a man not her betrothed only to be looked upon with disapproval from that day forward?
Setting the candle beside her, she looked at the various bottles of wine on a nearby rack without seeing them. She ignored the footsteps that came up behind her
“David has ill intentions toward Caroline,” Holden said in a quiet voice. “This very night, he means to spirit her away to his bedchambers in order to take advantage of her. You must inform her that he is only using her.”
Rose let out a choked laugh. “Is that how you plan to convince me that you have changed? By telling me Mr. Banner’s intentions are not pure?”
“Consider it for a moment,” he said in an urgent tone. “David brought you here and promised to go in search of your aunt, correct?”
Rose stopped to consider this. “He did.”
“I was told you were distraught in order to get me to follow him here. Do you not see? He is lying about me. If he were honorable, we would not be in this situation right now. He had already locked you in here!”
Rose jutted her chin. “He did no such thing,” she snapped. “I was here of my own accord. I could have left anytime I wanted.”
He heaved a heavy sigh. “But I saw him unlock the door when we got here. And now the door is locked once again.”
“It is not!”
“Then go test it,” he demanded.
She glanced toward the darkened portion of the room. No, he was trying to trick her. “Even if it is locked, it does not change the fact that you set out to use me.”
He moved aside and put an arm out. “If the door is unlocked, then why have you not left already? Certainly you would be able to return to the party without anyone learning of our little predicament.”
She glanced past him again. He made a good point. She knew deep inside he was right, but she would never admit it aloud, so she changed the subject. “When I told you at the picnic that I wished to never see you again, I had doubted my own words. At times I see a man inside you whose company I enjoy. But he is hidden much too deep inside.”
He heaved a heavy sigh as he sat on the barrel beside her. “What you say is true,” he said. “That immature boy reigned for a very long time. I wanted to live my life as I saw fit, propriety and order be damned. But you must understand. The more time I spend with you, the more I want to put that boy to rest. I am much too old to play these games anymore, but I must have someone who will help me make those changes, for I cannot do it alone.”
His nearness sent a pleasant shiver down her spine, but she pushed it aside. She was finished with him and his foolish ways!
“I do not see how I can be of any help,” she said with a cynical laugh. “Even as friends I doubt I can. I believe it would be best if we walked our own paths from now on.” Yet, even as she said the words, she found she did not believe them.
“You are right once again,” Holden said. “It is my journey, and I must take it myself. Do you have any advice you can give me before I set out?”
Rose studied his face, looking for any sign of jest, but saw none. “You have mentioned that your relationship with your father is not the best.”
Holden shook his head. “I have failed him at every turn, and I can never seem to do anything right. At times, I believe I will never be the man he wishes me to be.” He looked up at her. “Yet, when I am with you, I feel as if I have every chance in the world to be the man my father wishes me to be.”
“You must be honest with me,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him. “You can no longer place the blame for your mistakes on others. Take responsibility for all you do—good or
bad. That may placate your father. Even if it does not, it will make you feel better. That is what is more important in the long run.”
The smile Holden gave her warmed her heart. “I will do that. Thank you.” He paused and tilted his head. “Can you hear the music?”
“I can,” she said, listening to the marked melody. “It is beautiful.”
He held out a hand to her. “Then allow me this one dance,” he said, bowing before her. “For if we are caught, then at least I can say I had the honor of dancing with you before you throw me out on my ear.”
A giggle came of its own accord as she placed her hand in his. They stepped in close, stepped back, together and then back. Then they came in close once more, their hands above them, their bodies mere inches from one another.
“It is funny,” he whispered, “I sought you out to have more money. And now, I realize that what I have gained can never be bought with money.”
They stepped back.
“And what have you gained?” she asked.
A step forward.
“A way to see the world as I have never seen it before,” Holden replied. “All because of you.”
They stood in that same close position well past the count, their breath intermingling, until the music ended. Releasing each other’s hands, they took another step back, Holden covering a nervous cough and Rose covering a small giggle.
“That window,” he said, interrupting the moment. Had she felt something that was not truly there? “I may be able to climb through it.”
Rose stepped back and looked up at the window. “Do you believe so?” she asked with a smile. “It is quite small. How will you manage it?”
Holden pushed the barrel Rose had sat on earlier closer to the wall and climbed upon it. He was able to reach up and push open the small pane. “All I must do is pull myself up and crawl through it. It is simple, really.” He turned and smiled down at her. “I will come back through the house and save you and your name at the same time!”
Roes could not help but laugh at the image of this muscular man pushing himself through such a small opening, but, for the first time, she also admired his gallantry. “I admit that is an excellent first step one could take in changing his ways.”
Songs of Yesterday Page 15
