by Heather Karn
“You have to understand, Ki, it’s not that you’re a bad choice. I’m just not ready to give up my freedom and be forced to choose.”
He narrowed his gaze at me. “Why would you have to give up your freedom? I would never take that from you.”
“I guess I’m just used to my dad.” I shrugged, not knowing what else to say as I stroked a hand over Spock’s fur.
“I can understand. I promise you, I won’t let you feel like I’ve taken your freedom if you choose me. If you ever feel that way, please tell me.”
Lifting my head, I studied him. “Honestly, Kilani, how old are you?”
“In your years or mine?”
“Mine.”
His eyes glazed over while he did the time conversion. “Taking in our time differences, I’m almost fifty of your years. However, since the way we calculate time is slower, I’m only twenty-five. Is this a problem?”
I rubbed one of my temples. “No, I guess not. And I suppose it’s not fair to make you calculate your age in my time. Is twenty-five old for your people?”
“No. We are considered adults, fully matured and ready for a mate at fifteen or sixteen.”
“So that’s why since I’m eighteen, you don’t understand why I’m not ready and wanting a mate.”
“Yes, but you also said you just became an adult. I can see where you’d want to start making your own decisions only to feel like that right has been taken from you.”
“And that’s just it,” I murmured.
He was quiet for another few minutes. “I promise that I will speak to the council on this matter. If you don’t choose a mate now, I’ll ask them to allow you out of the Courtship building. I can’t promise they’ll do it, but I promise to bring it to them and fight for your right to be allowed your freedoms.”
Instinct took over then, or that was the excuse I used for my actions as I leaned across the space between us and planted a kiss on his furry cheek. “Thank you.” When I leaned back, I found him staring with such wide eyes and an expression between anxiety and worry that heat flushed my cheeks and I ducked my head. “No touching. Got it.”
“Do women usually...kiss...a man they aren’t mated to?”
“Yup. Generally cheek is friendly and lips are for a boyfriend or whatever.”
“Boyfriend?”
“Our customs of choosing a mate are different. A boyfriend is a potential mate.”
“You kiss potential mates on the mouth?”
And we were heading down another cultural differences landslide. “You don’t?”
He shook his head. “Never. Have...have you?”
“Ever kissed a boy on the lips?” He nodded his head, his expression wary though he was trying to keep it closed off. “Stop worrying. No, I haven’t. In fact, I’ve avoided having a boyfriend. Abusive father, remember? I haven’t wanted anything to do with boys or men.”
“Not unless they can protect you.” Ki grinned, and the relief swamping him was palpable.
“Yes, thank you.” With a dramatic sigh, I met his gaze so he’d see I was speaking the truth. “I promise to keep my lips to myself from now on. It just sort of, I don’t know, happened.”
“I appreciate that. It would appear extremely bad for both of us if anyone saw that. They would think you’d chosen, and when they realized you hadn’t...well, it wouldn’t be good, even if you don’t have our same traditions.”
“I’ll remember that. How long was I asleep?”
“A few of my hours. Now, eat, and when you’re ready, come to the deck and meet me there. Maltak is outside. I know you hate it, but you’ll be having an escort for the remainder of our travels.”
Groaning, I took another bite of meat. “I knew you were going to say that.”
“It’s for your protection.”
“I knew you’d say that too. It’s fine. If it keeps me out of trouble...I’ll deal with it.”
With a grin, Ki squeezed my hand and stood. So, touching was still okay, as long as it was with hands and not lips, and meant to be completely innocent. I caught a quick view of Maltak, whose expression was dark, before the door closed. Apparently, he was as upset as everyone else about what had happened to me earlier.
I took my time eating, enjoying every bite. There was far more than I could eat by myself, though I ate as much as my stomach could handle, so I wound up giving Maltak two skewers while I freshened up. Grabbing Spock, I followed Maltak to the deck where I found it business as usual, except for the sympathetic stares that were cast my way. Most tried to see my bruises, but gave up when they found my shirt sleeves covered them. Angry grumbles followed my progress, but I was fully aware they weren’t aimed at me, but in my defense.
Kilani waved me over on the upper most level where he stood beside a flat table I’d noticed several times but never asked about because, well, to me it was a table. Today the surface was glowing a gentle pink. The captain appeared as excited as a small child, ready to show me his newest toy.
“Come see this.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me the rest of the way to the table. There were several buttons along the side of the table, and after pressing a few, a map appeared on the screen showing various terrain in greens and browns. Buildings, or so I assumed, were black and scattered throughout the map’s borders. A few rivers and lakes were represented in blue amidst the greens of the landscape.
“That’s nice,” I murmured, studying what I was seeing.
Kilani snorted. “This is child’s play. The map is loading for other visual forms. Once it’s ready, you’ll see what I want to show you.”
“Oh.” I had no idea what that meant, but I was willing to find out.
A minute later, the table chimed and Kilani went to work pressing more of the buttons. When the flat map turned into a blueish holographic image complete with accurate landscaping, including tropical trees, various levels of altitude, and a few small waterfalls, my jaw dropped. Then the blue glow shifted, the true colors of the buildings and landscapes taking form.
“Wow, this is beautiful,” I murmured, watching the detail on the display grow ever clearer.
“This is my home, our home, planet.” Ki’s eyes lit with excitement as the glow from the table reflected off them.
“It’s beautiful.” I contemplated it further. “This is where you had your room set, isn’t it? Before I changed it to mine.”
Ki pressed a few more buttons and a small section of the map blinked pink before we zoomed in on it. A small house, that appeared more like a hut, came into view surrounded by trees and vegetation. Close by, within sight of the house, was a small lake, just like the one I’d seen in his room.
“This is my home,” Ki stated, his eager eyes growing sad. “If you miss your home half as much as I miss mine when I’m away, my heart goes out to you.”
“I just miss my mom. Everything else I could leave behind.” I shrugged. “It is what it is, and your house is awesome, and the view...I liked the forest by my home, but this is much nicer. Is that lake warm?”
“Yes. Our weather is always mild, so the water is always perfect for swimming.” He looked at me and tipped his head as if studying me. “Well, it’s comfortable for us. Without fur, you may be cooler.”
“Perhaps. So, where is this Courtship building?”
Ki backed the map out to where we could see everything, and another pink area blinked before we zoomed in on that. The building before us now was a skyscraper compared to Kilani’s humble hut. It was at least four stories and longer than I was sure I could imagine based on the map alone. It was also made of some sort of light brown brick.
“Most of the main buildings are made of the brick, and some of the homes of those in high status positions. My home is what most of our people live in, and in my opinion, far more comfortable. Don’t tell my parents that. They live in a brick home, and though it’s nice, I’d never return to that way of life unless I was forced to do so.” Kilani pointed to the far-right edge of the building. “This is where you�
��ll be staying when we arrive. Top floor. It’s the best view in the whole building and has a nice cross breeze.”
“Exactly how do you know this?” I asked, eyeing him.
“Because, the Courtships always happen in the location where the women stay. The men will come to you. I’ve been to the last two, so I know what this area looks like.” A wicked grin twisted his lips. “The first time was out of curiosity and not out of actually wanting to be chosen since the female doing the choosing was my sister. I just wanted to know what a Courtship was like.” He chuckled and shook his head. “The look of murder on her face when she saw me...it was priceless.”
“I wouldn’t blame her.”
“No one would’ve, not even the council. Where else do you want to see?”
“Everything.”
Kilani showed me everything. The village was spread out over a massive area with no specific square like the Intaks had. They did have a large pavilion built in pretty much the middle of nowhere where everyone gathered for social events, like holidays, parties for a child’s birth, and funerals. Other cultural activities were also held there. Otherwise, all the homes and businesses were scattered around the forest, which allowed everyone to have as much privacy as possible...and they were less likely to accidentally touch. He then showed me the locations of several dozen other villages around the planet. While the different villages rarely interacted, the council was formed by members of each village and headquartered in Kilani’s village. All Courtships took place in that same village as well.
Just over a week after we left the Intak’s planet, we arrived at Kilani’s home planet of Lutharia. This time I stood on the deck and watched us approach the mostly green world. It’s two moons would take some getting used to, that much was certain. As we approached and the planet grew larger, my stomach dipped, and not in a good way.
Instead of watching the full decent, I left to go pack up my belongings, the ones I wanted to take that wouldn’t transfer to my new room, like Spocks belongings. Kilani had assured me that I’d be able to change my new room to match this one, but he wasn’t certain that the council would approve of my clothing options. All I had to say was that if I didn’t like theirs, I was wearing mine.
Seconds after the ship lurched from landing, Kilani’s voice echoed through the ship, the smile in his voice clear. “Crew, welcome home.”
Cheers erupted around the ship. Apparently, everyone except me was happy to be here. I hadn’t seen Mike since our first and only visit, but I could be fairly certain from his attitude that he was happy to be here as well. Of course he was. He didn’t have a group of people waiting for him to choose one of them or be trapped in a building until he did.
Pushing down my resentment and anxiety, I finished loading the things I wanted to take with me into the duffle bag I kept buried in the bottom of my closet. It was almost brand new in appearance since I’d maybe used it twice in the past five years. I’d almost thrown it away a year ago, and now I was glad that I hadn’t. All of Spocks things, my outfits that I wanted to take, and my uniform wrist band fit in it, so I was now ready to face my unfortunate future.
Kilani’s voice came over the comm unit as I lifted the bag to my shoulder. “Cammie, can I come in?”
I waved the door open instead of responding. Ki took one look at me and his eyes grew sad. He jerked his head toward the bag I held.
“Can I help you with that?”
“No, thanks. I’d rather keep a hold of it so I’m absolutely certain it comes with me. Not that I don’t trust anyone, but I want to keep this in my sight.”
“That’s fair. Where is your uniform.” Kilani pointed at my empty wrist.
I tucked the bag closer behind me. “Do I have to give it back?”
“No, but you probably won’t need it.”
“Considering my track record for trouble finding me, I’d like to keep it a little longer.”
He chuckled to himself. “When you put it that way, I agree. Keep it for as long as you need or want.” Sighing deep, Ki reached up to my neck and stroked a finger over Spock’s head. “You keep Cammie out of trouble for me.” Spock chittered back like he was agreeing, making Kilani and I laugh.
“Are you coming with me?”
His smile fell. “No. I’ve been called to the council hall already. Maltak and Mortan have asked to escort you along with a few of the council’s escorts. I’m sorry I can’t go with you, but I will speak to the council on your behalf like I promised.”
I reached between us and squeezed his hand. “Thank you.” The realization that this was probably the last time I’d either be able to easily touch someone or be touched in a long time hit me square in the chest and stole my breath.
“Are you all right?”
“I need a hug.”
The man didn’t hesitate. He wrapped his arms around me, pressing my body against his as I awkwardly returned the gesture while trying to not let Spock get squished or drop the bag. Ki didn’t seem to mind, and the warmth of his body was reassuring.
“My mother is on the council,” Ki spoke into my ear. “If you ever need anything, ask your attendant to speak with Roosha.”
“Thanks. I will.”
Ki stepped back and smiled at me before turning and leading me down the corridor. We passed several crew members. Each bowed their head in farewell or told me goodbye. It was a shocking revelation that I’d actually miss this place and these people. Months ago, I hated this place, and now I was downright sad to leave it, and not because I was afraid of what was coming. I truly didn’t want to leave, but I didn’t have a choice but to go.
I knew where we’d landed. Kilani had shown me on the map. The Lutharians had used their brick material to make what I considered to be landing pads in the middle of a large field. At any one time, up to one hundred ships could fit in the field. Four large buildings were built on the field’s edge, one at each corner, to assist with ship repair and cargo storage. So, when I followed Kilani off the ship, I wasn’t surprised to see the ships, but the pure number of them was shocking. More than three fourths of the pads were full.
“Each of these is a Level Eight Mate?” I whispered to Kilani as he continued ahead of me.
He slowed to walk beside me as we crossed the field to a waiting group of Lutharians. “Yes, but half have mates or they don’t want one.”
“Even if half of them show up to my Courtship...those are terrible odds.”
“Try being on this side,” he muttered. He eyed the setting sun and groaned. “I don’t know why the council isn’t waiting to speak with me until the morning. This is going to take all night.”
“How far away do we have to travel?”
“Not far. However, I’m just taking you to your escorts. Until the ship checks out and everything is managed, I can’t leave. Once I’m able to, then I’ll meet with the council.”
“Wow, this really will be a long night for you. When was the last time you slept?”
“A few hours when you did last, so I’m not tired physically. Mentally...I’d rather go rest at my house before meeting with them so I’m at my best.”
“I don’t blame you.”
We were silent the rest of the walk to the group. Maltak and Mortan were already standing beside four women who wore long, flowing robes of light blue. If this was the typical female clothing, then no wonder Kilani hated most of the clothes I owned. A few of my escort eyed my jeans, sneakers, and zipped up hoodie with odd stares. Or it was the lack of fur all over my body.
“You are the female?” the closest woman asked, giving me another once over with her eyes.
“The Level Eight one? Yeah, that’s me.”
The woman’s eyes narrowed in disdain. What had I done to her? Then again, maybe she was some lower level or a Companion and irritated that a female like me, who wasn’t even her species, was given such a high level. If I could’ve traded with her, I would in a heartbeat.
“Follow us,” the same woman directed.
Two of the women, the speaker included, set off down a worn dirt path heading into the forest. Maltak and Mortan moved to either side of me, waiting for me to follow so the other two women could bring up the rear. My gaze turned to Kilani, who nodded his encouragement before turning around and heading back to his ship. It was what he needed to do, so why did my heart hurt seeing him go?
“Cammie?” Maltak murmured, motioning his hand toward the women waiting for us.
Giving a solemn nod, I trudged up the path with them, already feeling exhausted by the idea of walking all the way to the Courtship building. It was time for me to go to sleep, not tromp through the forest. Even Spock thought so as he curled himself around me and started to snore. Both Maltak and Moran offered to take my bag, but I refused both of them. Like I’d told Ki, I wasn’t letting this bag out of my sight. The mean lady would probably find a place to burn it if she had the chance.
Two hours later my feet were sore, and I couldn’t see a thing since the sun had set, yet we hadn’t managed to make it to our destination yet. I was now tripping over my feet and random roots as often as I’d been the stairs on the ship when I’d first been taken onboard. Plus, I could barely see the ladies walking in front of us so Maltak and Moran had to guide me with gentle, almost barely seen nudges.
“Okay, I’m done,” I announced when I yet again almost face planted in the dirt. “Does anyone have a flashlight or something?”
Maltak chuckled in the dark. “What’s a flashlight?”
“A little device that produces light when you turn it on. I can’t see a thing out here.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. Why do you think Kilani had to have them turn the corridor lights up?”
Mortan made an assessing sound. “I did wonder about that. Okay, we don’t want you hurt, so what’s the best way to do this? Maltak?”
“We don’t have any sources of light.”
I groaned. “If y’all weren’t so obsessive about no touching, I’d say a piggyback ride would solve this mess. Anyway, let’s keep going so we can arrive before I fall asleep on my feet, if I don’t break my face when I fall on it first.”
