Please, God, make me bolder this time. I don't want to hold anything back.
*****
The next morning Tara went to work like she always did. At noon she walked down to the park for a brief lunch break. She saw Josiah heading down Allen Street and straight for her. While she wasn't expecting company for lunch, she wasn't opposed to spending some time with him again. Her heart pitter-pattered as she looked him straight in the eye.
Someone touched her shoulder and nearly made her leap from her seat.
"You scared me." Tara gasped and planted her palm over her chest.
"Sorry, hon. I didn't mean to surprise you. I just wanted to see if you were going to be able to start our new women's Bible study that begins this Wednesday night. We're studying Corinthians." Her friend Stacie, from church, smiled and sat next to her.
Tara glanced over at Josiah, who now hesitated and came to a screeching halt. She tipped her head in a brief nod to tell him it was okay to approach them.
"I'm sorry. I don’t think I can make it."
"Is it because you have no one to care for your mom?"
Tara moistened her lips, suddenly unsure how to explain. She hadn't been asked in a long time so she was out of practice describing her situation at home. "It's more due to how much I need to get done every night. I need to cook dinner after work, then clean up the kitchen and arrange for someone to stay with my mom and I have to do all that in less than an hour or I'll be late. I'm usually so tired after work--"
"I'll stay with your mom so you can go."
Tara turned and gaped at Josiah. "You'd stay with my mom and make her dinner so I can attend a Bible study? Are you sure you want to?"
"Absolutely positively sure. But I'm not a very good cook, so I'd probably bring dinner, if that's okay with you."
Joy bubbled up in Tara's throat and she contained the squeal that threatened to erupt. She hadn't been able to attend a woman's Bible study in over a year. "Okay."
"Great!" Stacie stood and waved. "See you Wednesday."
She walked away, leaving the spot next to Tara free.
A slight breeze wafted through the air and ruffled her bangs.
Josiah sat beside her and laughed as her hair tangled on her lashes and stuck to her lips. With a tender expression on his face, he swept the errant strands away. Their gazes locked, and for a moment she couldn't move. The sensation of his hand moving her hair for that brief moment brought her back to a familiar place. She closed her eyes and savored it.
She found Josiah watching her when she opened her eyes. They sat and without words, searched each other's faces. Josiah tipped his head down, and anxiety hit her. The tension on her face must've been obvious, because Josiah straightened and glanced off to the side.
Whew. That was too close.
"Did your boss ask you about the register?"
Tara blinked, caught off guard by the out of context question. "Huh?"
"The money. Did she figure it out?"
Tara shook her head. Strangely enough, her boss hadn't said a thing. Maybe she'd forgotten over the long weekend what denominations of bills were in the till. She didn't dare ask and draw her boss's attention to it, so she went about her work and just prayed that the day would run smoothly. So far, so good.
"Good." Josiah sat in silence. Tara felt drawn to look at him once again. As she gazed at him, she sensed he wanted to say something but was afraid to begin. She wanted to reassure him, but instead reached inside her lunch bag and pulled out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Josiah grinned. "You still eat that for lunch?"
"Some things never change." She glanced away, suddenly shy and hoping he hadn't caught her hidden meaning in her comment. She had loved him back in high school. She feared she loved him still. What that meant, she didn't know, but she wasn't sure she wanted to find out, either. It was far too threatening to explore her deep-seated emotions at this stage in her life.
"I've noticed that." Josiah's voice was as gentle as a breeze, and barely audible. But she hadn't missed the implication.
She glanced up, and her throat tightened at the longing in his eyes. "Want some?" Holding out her sandwich as an offering, she waited for him to take it.
To her surprise he offered her a bite from the half he held. She accepted it, and then offered him a bite of the half she held. Watching each other as they fed each other lunch, she sensed her pulse increasing at the familiarity of the game.
She pulled out a bag of sliced apples. She offered some to him and he picked out a slice and offered her a bite. Lunch had never been this exciting before, and she marveled at the pleasure such simple acts brought to her soul.
They were being so intimate with each other, but at the same time, they weren't flirting. It seemed more like each laid their heart on the table for the other to inspect. What she found when she examined Josiah's eyes and watched him chew with satisfaction, was an innate sense that he trusted her. She wanted to trust him, too. But how?
As they finished the rest of the apple slices, she took the last swig of water from her bottle and stood. "I've got to get back. It was nice sharing my lunch with you."
Her neck warmed as she caressed him with her gaze.
"I enjoyed it more than you know." His voice was low and soft as he smiled, his neck reddening. "Really, really enjoyed it."
"You're a dangerous man, Josiah Reardon."
"And you, my darling, are an irresistible woman." He placed his hand behind her head and kissed her forehead. "I'll talk to you later."
With an ecstatic grin, Tara turned and strode back to the salon. Josiah was definitely interested in her again. If there had been any doubt before, now it was completely gone. She didn't dare look over her shoulder as she approached the porch and opened the front door.
Frieda pointed at Tara. "There she is."
Tara paused and glanced between the woman and the young-looking man with salt and pepper hair. Who was he and why did he want to talk to her at her job?
"And you are?"
"Let's step outside a minute." He guided her to the front door.
Tara's boss said, "Go on, now. You've still got ten minutes until your client will be here."
She followed him outside wondering why he needed to speak to her, and sensing that whatever he had to say would not be something she wanted to hear.
He sat on the front porch by the door and gestured for her to sit beside him. When she did, he reached out to shake her hand. "I'm Matthew, with Adult Protective Services. I'm here to talk to you about what happened with your mom last weekend."
If Tara's bladder had been full it would've released on the bench. The moment she had always dreaded was upon her. They'd come to take her mother away.
Chapter Nine
Josiah patted his pocket in search of his car keys, but they weren't there. He retraced his steps to the park and the picnic table and saw the silver set of keys under the bench. Scooping them up, he shaded his eyes as he stood. Glancing over at the salon, he noted that Tara was sitting on the porch talking to someone he'd never seen before.
His heart tripped. Was it about the money? Was the man interviewing her as part of a robbery investigation? What if Tara had thought she was off the hook but they were just waiting for her to get back to work so they could bust her? Should he go there to help, or keep his nose out of it? Something about the terrified look on her face told him she wouldn't be mad if he approached her right now and offered to intervene.
"Can I help you with something?"
Tara saw Josiah coming toward them and stepped from the porch and into his arms. He held her without hesitation. It felt so natural, so good to have her tucked against him and to fold his arms over her in her protection. She was trembling. Something had definitely freaked her out.
"I can't say unless she wants me to. I'm sorry."
Josiah nudged her away so he could look into her face and ask. "Will you please tell him it's okay to talk to me?"
She nodded an
d the man cleared his throat and stepped off the porch. "Let's walk over here where it's a bit more private."
Tara nearly squeezed his fingers off as she clung to his hand and they walked side by side. Now Josiah's heart was pounding. What could be so awful, yet be so confidential at the same time?
He sat at the picnic table next to Tara and the man sat across from them. "I'm from Adult Protective Services and was responding to a report. The allegation is that Mrs. Hinkson, Tara's mother, was injured while home unattended, and that she can't be alone or unsupervised at any time. I'm just here to get the facts so I can wrap this up."
"What did you tell him?" Josiah asked Tara as she laid her head on his shoulder, just like she used to do when they were still in high school and they sat and watched television together.
She mumbled into his shirt, making him shiver. "That I meant to get home in time, but I was held up and couldn't. The aide told me she couldn't stay or she'd miss her flight so I knew that, but it was a mistake. It won't happen again."
*****
Tara lifted her head from his shoulder and spoke to the man directly. "I apologize. Lord knows I didn't want my mother to get hurt. I just couldn't get home in time."
"Sounds like you need a backup plan so something like this won't happen again."
"I know. I'm working on that. Usually my neighbor steps in if I call her and ask, but she told me when she looked through the kitchen window she saw the aid leave and thought nothing of it at first. She assumed I was home." Tara gasped. "Did you talk to Jamie?"
"Is that the aide's name?"
"Yes. But it wasn't her fault. I promised her I'd be back." Her pulse raced at the thought of Jamie getting in trouble. "You don't have to interview her, do you?"
"I'm afraid so."
Tara started crying and said through tears, "Please don't get her fired. She's the best aide I've ever had. She's wonderful. She wasn't going to watch my mom that night because she couldn't miss her plane, but I told her if she had to leave a few minutes before I got home it was okay. I didn't think she'd have to do it, though."
"She shouldn't have left her unattended."
"I know. I'm thinking my mom was sleeping or something where she didn't think she would wake up before I returned. I'm so sorry."
The man wrote some notes, and then he glanced up with a reassuring smile. "I believe this was an accident. The officer who reported the incident indicated that in his report. But he still had to call it in. It's required."
Tara sniffled and let her breath out slowly. "I understand."
The cheap cell phone in Tara's pocket vibrated. "Excuse me." The man stood and shook Josiah's hand, then Tara's. "Hello?"
"Your appointment called to cancel and reschedule. You okay out there?"
Tara could see her boss glancing at her through the shop window. "I'll be fine."
"Do you need some time off?" Her boss walked away from the window.
"No." Tara couldn't afford to miss any work. Not with the mounting bills.
"You can just stay later another day. Why don't you take the rest of the day off and spend some time with your young man. It'd be good for you to do something for yourself for a change."
Tara nodded, but then realized her boss wouldn't see that. "Okay."
"Come back and get your purse. I'll see you tomorrow."
She hung up and glanced at Josiah. "Thanks for helping me talk to him."
"No problem." Josiah rocked on his heels as he stared at her.
"My boss wants me to take the rest of the day off."
A broad grin covered his face. "She's a smart lady. I say you take her up on it."
With shaking hands, Tara smoothed her bangs. "I am a bit stressed. I'd hate to slip up and mess up someone's hair because I'm nervous, you know?"
"I do understand, believe me. So what do you say I take you to my place and I show you that truck I was going to donate."
His irresistible grin made her stomach quiver.
"If you're sure you don't want it, I guess it can't hurt. Right now I have to walk everywhere or get a taxi driver."
"Like me?" Josiah's eyebrows zipped up and down.
"They are getting cuter." Tara laughed as Josiah grabbed her hand.
*****
He lifted her hand entwined with his and kissed her knuckles. "You're so sweet."
The warmth in her gaze made him shiver. She was so tempting that it was going to make him crazy with longing if he didn't watch himself around her. Then he remembered that she was planning to go to a Bible study. He should ask about that.
One look at her mouth stole his breath, and he forgot what he was going to say.
She raked her lips with her teeth, something he remembered her doing whenever she was nervous around him.
"What are you thinking?" She stared at him, wide-eyed.
He brushed off the question. "Hurry and get your purse. I'll go get my truck and pull up to the curb around the corner."
"Sounds good." She turned and stepped onto the porch, then headed inside the salon.
He spun on his heel and jogged to his truck. Was he making a mistake spending time with her? He hoped not, but regardless, he couldn't seem to resist her. She had more pull on him than anyone he'd ever known before.
He turned the corner and found her waiting at the agreed upon spot. She was so stunning, even without makeup and in her work clothes. She had curves in all the right places and a tender, servant's heart. Would she give herself to him like she used to do?
He shook off the thought. He had no business thinking that way about her. He needed to be strong. But her scent, her eyes, her body... all of those things made his resolve weaken. What was a young man to do when faced with such overwhelming temptation?
Being alone with her was probably the dumbest, riskiest thing he could do, especially with her being so vulnerable right now, but he couldn't seem to do the right thing. He wanted her too much.
*****
Tara saw the look of desire and longing in Josiah's eyes and shivered. She should ask him to bring her home instead of over to his house, but she was afraid if she did that he would reject her and she would lose him to someone like Cherry.
No, he would want her if she had anything to say about it. No way was she going to let that needy single mother steal her... steal Josiah's heart.
She stewed about everything that had occurred today as he drove to the ranch. She was still deep in thought when he pointed at the road and said hoarsely, "That's where it happened."
Her brow furrowed. Where what happened? Then she remembered him saying his brother had died. "That's so close to the street."
Josiah pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine. He unclipped his seatbelt and turned to face her. "He was chasing a ball. He used to be so obsessed with them. I couldn't get to him in time. He tried to tell me he needed help, but I ignored him. I was playing a video game when he took off after it. A stupid video game."
The anger in Josiah's voice made her pause and gape at him. She'd never heard him talk like that before, with a tone of such self-loathing that his voice shook.
His jaw clenched, and he fisted his hands. "I know my parents have forgiven me, but I'm still mad at myself for being so selfish."
"What happened?" Tara whispered. She suspected the answer but didn't want to assume.
"He was hit by a car. My... dad... he didn't see Bobby running into the road, and he hit him. He was killed instantly."
"Oh my God. Your dad hit him?"
Josiah nodded and fresh tears filled his eyes.
"How come I never heard about that from kids at school? Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"I was too ashamed. I didn't want to cry in front of you."
"But I attended Tombstone for four years and never heard you even had a brother, let alone that he died."
"People didn't know the details. They just knew it was an accident. They didn't know I was the one watching him, or that my dad was the driver. We tried to k
eep that private. It was hard enough dealing with the guilt."
"I understand, but I just can't believe it. It's so... bizarre."
"It does sound twisted. What's the likelihood, you know?" He sighed and wiped his eyes.
She reached for his hand. "You don't have to show me the truck right now if you just want to stay and talk."
"I'll be okay. I already feel a little better. Thanks for listening."
He stepped out of the vehicle and helped her out. Such a gentleman. As she closed the door, she thought about comforting him in other ways, but shook off the thought. Where had that idea come from?
They held hands and walked over to a large barn. Josiah opened the door. Inside stood a black Dodge truck with faded paint on the hood, but otherwise it looked decent enough.
"This is the truck I was going to donate. I got it the summer after my freshman year and drove it all the time until I moved back home."
"It's a nice truck." She turned to face him. "How is your dad doing?"
"He seems to be doing fine. Mom is not so sure, though. She worries about everything."
"Well, let's hope this is something that is not based on reality."
"Want to go for a ride in this thing?" He held the keys in front of her and jingled them. The rogue smile on his face made him look even more irresistible when combined with the sparkle in his eyes. She loved it when he teased her.
Tara shrugged and feigned disinterest. "I haven't driven a car in years."
"Bummer. Guess that means I'll have to teach you." He tweaked the end of her nose.
She rubbed the tip. "Stop. You know that bugs me."
His cheeky grin made her smile. "Sorry."
"You know you're not."
He chuckled. "I'd love to refresh your memory, if you want me to."
Not sure how to answer that comment given the gleam in his eyes, she shrugged instead.
A gust of wind rattled the sides of the barn. The door to the barn blew shut, enveloping them in darkness. She shivered, remembering how dark her life used to be before she found the Lord, and realized she needed Him in her life every day.
The Lonely Lady Page 8
