“Not you.”
“The cold man,” I said, and shuddered with the memory of him.
“Shit. Look at me.” He flipped me over with an urgency that sent me into flutters of panic. His fingers gently lifted my eyelids, peering into them one at a time. He lifted my upper lip, probed the gums around my fangs, stroked a finger backward along the roof of my mouth, then did the same with my lower teeth.
And on his inspection went. A sniff at my arm pits, both of them, that had me shoving at him. An honest to God count of my ribs, a testing pull on my scrotum and, yes, he actually licked my dick and sniffed down there.
“Jesus, Dev, what are you doing?”
“The cold man.” He crawled his way back up my body and rested his forehead against mine. “It’s what happens when you’re close to losing your humanity and becoming a full-fledged vampire, only without the…” He closed his eyes tight for a moment before opening them again. “Without the emotion a successfully turned vampire needs to control himself.”
My heart sank clear out of my chest. “That sounds really bad.”
“It is.” He dropped a kiss to my mouth and rolled onto his side, taking me with him so that we were tangled up together. “You have to get a handle on it, Eric, or…”
“Or Marco will put me down. I know.”
I’d already worked that much out myself, at least the part about Marco. The rest? Hell. Maybe I needed to be put down. At least I wouldn’t hurt anybody anymore, not my beautiful Gianna, not Devin or Elizabet or Jason. In one short night, I’d become a menace, and I didn’t want to be.
But I didn’t know how to stop it either.
“We’ll figure it out. I swear, I’ll do everything I can to help you.” His fingers threaded through my hair, tugged my head back. “I’ve got a couple of ideas you can try, but first, we’ll talk to Elizabet and Marco. They’ll know what to do.”
“Sure.” If anybody could help, they could. “How’s Elizabet?”
“She’s fine. Better, now that she’s fed.”
“I wasn’t holding back, Dev. You gotta believe me.”
“I know,” he said softly, and then his mind whispered it through our bond. I know now, love. “We need to clean up and change the sheets. We made a mess.”
Not we. Me. Well, me and the cold man. I could feel his residue clinging to my mind, a filthy layer of ash and dirt that no water would wash away. He’d been there before. My gut clenched on a rolling wave of nausea. He’d come back again if I let him.
Please God, I prayed, please don’t let the cold man come back.
If God heard my plea, he didn’t answer. Then again, maybe he had better things to do than listen to a man who’d tempted fate and lost.
Chapter Three
The next morning, I met Elizabet in the solarium. That’s what Devin called it anyway. It was a small, octagonal room with a delicately fashioned wooden table in the middle and a cushioned bench seat running around the edges, except for the side containing the door. Heavy curtains covered the windows. I lifted one and winced at the bright light reflecting off the snowy landscape outside.
I let the curtain drop as the door opened behind me. Elizabet glided in wearing a carmine satin dressing gown with her silky black hair braided down her back, and was barefoot without the slightest hint of makeup. I’d never seen her dressed so informally before. She looked like a little girl playing in her mother’s clothes, not like the powerful, centuries-old vampire she was.
“Elizabet.” I took her hands and pressed them to my forehead before kissing them, then pressed another kiss to her mouth. Her lips were cool under mine, cool and soft and ripe, and her hunger beat against me. She hadn’t taken her fill of Devin last night, thank God, but the fault was mine and it ate at me. “Thanks for seeing me.”
“How could I not?” she said lightly. “Devin has explained your inability to achieve sexual release. You should have come to me immediately, dearling.”
I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans and shrugged. “I figured you’d had enough of me to last a while.”
Her doe eyes lowered into a silent chide. “If I did not desire your company, I should never have chosen you as a pet. This you know.”
I dropped my gaze to the floor, scuffed a bare toe against the carpet. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Come, dearling. Sit with me.” She sank gracefully onto the bench seat and curled her legs up in front of her. “We have much to discuss.”
I sat beside her, resting a hand on her knee, and opened my mind to her. After last night’s fiasco, I couldn’t hold back, not without hurting her again. She propped her elbow along the back of the bench seat, laid her head there, and covered my hand with her own, stroking the flesh gently.
Desire stirred in me. My heart went into a panicked overdrive and I clamped down tightly on my emotions, subduing them before I lost control.
“You need not fear,” she said. “Marco guards the door and will intercede should we need him.”
I blew out a shaky sigh. Of course, he would. Marco would never allow Elizabet to come to harm, not as long as he could prevent it.
“You are close to a full turn.” Elizabet blinked sleepily at me. “Devin says you have created pets of your own.”
“Ah.” I cleared my throat, looked away from her discerning gaze. “I wouldn’t put it that way.”
“I wish to meet this Jason. He sounds quite delicious.”
I snorted. That was one way of putting it. I didn’t remember the one time Jason and I had been sexual, for lack of a better term, but I had no trouble imagining it, not with the way he moved, the way he was built.
The way he looked at me when he thought I wasn’t watching.
“And this woman you love. Devin as well, from what I understand.”
“He’s my roster mate.”
“And part of your heart,” Elizabeth said with an easy shrug. “It is understandable that you would want him by your side, once you become fully vampiric.”
I dropped my head back, resting it against the stiff curtains covering the window behind me. “Are you saying I don’t have a choice, that it’s too late for me to stop it?”
“Too late to stop it, yes.” Her hands squeezed mine, comforting me. “It may still be slowed until you are strong enough to control it.”
I shivered at the remembrance of the cold man inside my head, a manifestation of uncontrolled vampirism. Could I truly stave him off long enough to get a grip on him?
“You have the answers you seek already in your mind, dearling. The means to control the bloodlust, the path you must travel until you are fully transformed.”
“I do?” That was news to me. “How? I mean, what?” I shook my head, struggled against the confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“It is simple, Eric. What mechanism does a vampire use to control her thirst?”
“Sex,” I said immediately. Duh. That’s the reason she needed me and the other pets.
“And yet, you deny yourself sexual intercourse when you exchange blood with your lover.” She tsked, a gentle reprimand. “You know better.”
I closed my eyes against the sinking feeling in my gut. “She’s afraid of me.”
“No, my pet. You are afraid of you. Your lover will accept you again. You have but to ask.”
“But what if she says no?”
“Then you must find another, or share her with someone whom you trust to help you achieve control. Your favorite.” Her gaze turned coy in the room’s natural shadows. “You have already chosen him, have you not?”
“Jason,” I murmured. Of course. He wasn’t afraid of me, was big and strong and fast enough to at least slow me down, if not stop me. He’d done it before, too, the first time Gianna had come to my apartment to take my blood. I rubbed a hand across my face. Jesus. Is that why I’d been so open to having him hang around? “Why not Devin?”
Elizabet shook her head gently. “I do not have all the answers, though I suspect this one is also hid
den in your mind.”
If it was, I’d figure it out eventually. Maybe.
“As for achieving release, I suggest you attempt intercourse with your favorite. You trust him, yes?”
More than I should have, probably. “Yeah.”
“This trust will enable you to loosen your control enough to orgasm without bringing the cold man forward.”
“But what if…?”
“No buts, dearling, else I shall strap you to a bed and have Jason brought here to do the deed. Take care of it before the cold man gains the upper hand and you are lost to us.”
I breathed out a laugh. She’d do it, too, no question on that. “Thank you.”
“Oh, my sweet pet.” She shifted closer and cupped my jaw, rubbing her thumb across my cheek in a touch that was both reassuring and arousing. “I thought I would have longer with you, thought you might…”
I held her hand, turned my mouth into her palm to kiss it. “What?”
“Marco is dying,” she said softly. “He does not wish to turn, and I shall not hold him in this world longer than he wishes to be here.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, and was. Anyone could see the love and devotion Elizabet and Marco had for one another. It was the kind of relationship most people dreamed of having, but rarely ever saw, let alone achieved.
“When Devin brought me to you, I knew you would be an excellent candidate to replace Marco…”
“You wanted me to be your next favorite?”
“I did, yes.”
I glanced toward the closed door, half afraid Marco would burst in and kill me on the spot. “I’m flattered.”
She smiled, flashing her fangs. “Dearest Eric. I regret that such is not meant to be. You are too far into the turn, and so, I must seek another candidate. Perhaps Devin, if he does not follow you when the time comes for you to set up your own household.”
My eyes rounded with shock. “You don’t mind?”
“How could I keep him from you, when your hearts are so deeply entangled?” She pressed a gentle kiss to my mouth and her hunger beat at me again, stronger than before. “You love him, yes?”
That’s what I got for opening myself up to her. Hard to keep a nugget like that hidden. “Yeah.”
“And he, you. Do not worry, child. All will be well.” She rose in a graceful flow of fabric. “I must attend to business now before the entire household awakens and descends upon me.”
“Wait.” I caught her hand, tugged her into my lap. “Take from me, please.”
“It is not necessary.”
I stopped her words with a soft kiss, claiming her mouth with a gentle possession until she melted under me. She pulled away and straddled my lap, waited patiently for me to unfasten my jeans and push them out of the way, freeing my erection for her pleasure. Her hand stroked me, toying with my dick as she buried her face against my throat, and then she positioned herself above me and took me into her, sliding down until I was buried in her hot little pussy.
“That’s it.” I grasped the back of her head and rolled my head to the side, exposing myself to her, and flinched when she struck. The pain faded almost immediately, becoming pleasure with each draw of her mouth on my skin. “Take what you need, Mistress.”
Her hips undulated, sliding my dick into and out of her pussy in a slow frenzy of need and lust. I untied her robe and skimmed my hands down her bare flesh, caressing her as I hadn’t the night before, building her need with a scrape of my nails on her back, the brush of my thumbs across her nipples. When my own need began to climb, I cupped her ass and guided her, seeking a release I suspected I’d never be able to achieve with her again, not until I had the cold man under control.
Jason. I fixed my thoughts on him, on his strong arms and stolid character, on the warmth of his skin and the taste of his blood on my tongue. My eyes popped open as Elizabet released my throat on a low moan and came, her body clenching around mine in tight throbs that should’ve pushed me over the edge and tested my control, and didn’t.
I held her close while her body cooled, then helped her redress with gentle touches and soft laughs. She and I would be ok, my stupidity notwithstanding. Thank God she was a patient woman. I escorted her to the door, delivered her into Marco’s capable hands, and made my way to Devin’s room, dazed at the memory that had popped up in the middle of sex.
I’d never tasted Jason’s blood, not that I remembered, which could only mean I’d taken it the night I’d snapped. He’d taken mine a couple of times from a scratch on my thumb, something I’d had him do more out of an undefined need than anything. I guess I’d instinctively tried to bind him to me, using my blood as one more tie.
All along, I’d thought we were becoming friends, and maybe we were. I liked him, really liked him, and admired his courage and control, his discipline and loyalty.
But there was apparently also a part of me that sought to bind him to me in a different way, as my favorite, the one person I could trust to help me achieve control.
Why hadn’t that occurred to me before?
Like having sex with Gianna to control the bloodlust that overwhelmed me every time she was near, a by-product of my love for her. I’d completely overlooked that in my need to protect her from the monster I’d become, the cold man who lurked in the recesses of my mind, distinctive but still intrinsically a part of me.
Jason could help me do that, but in order for him to, Gianna would have to agree. There’s no way the three of us could climb into bed together without her consent, and I’d never ask her to unless I thought it was something she wanted to do freely.
It was a lot to think about.
I tracked down one of Elizabet’s servants and got a weather update. Major roads were clear. School would resume the next day. Devin was waiting for me in his room, propped up on the bed reading. We had a lot to talk over. After, I’d text Jason, arrange a meet, but now, I needed my Dev.
He looked up and smiled and my heart expanded until it settled into a new pattern. Devin would understand, and he wouldn’t let go for as long as I needed him.
After an afternoon spent talking everything over with Devin, I ended up texting Jason late that night, a quick Can you come over soon?
He texted back almost immediately. Sunday 2 pm. Gianna?
Sorry. Just us, I replied.
C u then, and a few minutes later, xoxo.
Licks and sucks. I grinned. Maybe this time, he’d get his wish.
Devin dropped me off at my apartment later that evening. I asked him to come in and let him back me up against the door and take what he wanted from me, hard, lingering kisses, rough caresses that left us both gasping from the need churning between us.
Neither of us tried to take it beyond that, something we’d agreed on during our talk. Until I could control the cold man, penetration was out with everybody except Elizabet and Jason. Devin had understood, but he wasn’t ok with the ban, or rather, he wasn’t ok with me having sex with Jason on my own. I’d quietly probed Devin’s mind, searching for the reason, and had been surprised at the tiny kernel of jealousy lodged in his heart.
I hadn’t said anything. If Dev wanted to talk about it, he would. I hoped so, but I wasn’t going to push. Later, it occurred to me that maybe I shouldn’t delve so freely into his private thoughts.
Did the Vampyr have rules about that kind of thing?
I made a mental note to ask Marco as Devin left after giving me a stern reminder about the vampire queen’s visit the following week. Attendance was required of all pets. We’d already discussed what we would do if the two of us were chosen to wait on her during her stay at Elizabet’s, a plan that depended heavily on Jason helping me find my control between now and then.
I rubbed my forehead as worry set in. Sunday was three days away and the queen’s visit just five days after. That left very little time for me to find my control.
Chapter Four
Jason had a home game the next night. I went alone and watched him bounce between the
bench and the court. He moved with the grace of a natural athlete, a characteristic I envied given my inherent clumsiness, only partially alleviated by vampire blood. Basketball wasn’t a new sport for me, but it wasn’t one I’d been dedicated to before meeting him. Since then, I’d studied up enough to have a rough understanding of what happened on the court.
Or at least pretended to. Sometimes, all I could do was nod and smile and say, “Hey, great play!” when Jason discussed his games, just because I got so lost.
Gravity, relativity, and quantum mechanics were easy by comparison.
Now, if he’d wanted to discuss the angle of momentum of the basketball when he shot a free throw, I was right there with him, but what happened to actually put him on the free throw line often escaped me.
I really tried to pay attention to this game, though. If Jason was going to be my favorite (eventually), then I needed to be able to discuss this with him cogently. So I glued my eyes to the floor, mentally tallied his accomplishments, those I caught, and tried to keep my mind off of sex, which was where it had lingered since Elizabet had suggested bedding him.
That was pretty hard to do, especially given the way the muscles of his arms bulged and stretched as he dribbled and shot and passed. Every time he was at the free throw line, I gained a new appreciation for the tufts of golden hair under his arms, and the flat line of his stomach under his loose uniform.
After one particularly heated play, the opposing coach called a time out. Jason trotted to the sidelines and yanked his shirt out of his shorts, holding it with his teeth while he rested his hands on his head and listened to the coach, giving me and everyone else on that side of the court a perfect view of his toned abs and the fine line of silky hair running south of his navel.
I casually draped my coat over my lap as my dick sprang to life. Jesus. If that’s all it took for me to get hard, maybe I needed to have sex with him.
It’s not like the other players weren’t doing the same thing. A stoic African American teammate stood next to Jason fanning his shirt against his stomach while he drank from a bottle of water. Another had pulled up his shirt for the team doctor, revealing a bruise along his bare skin, and yet another was yanking the legs of his shorts up, revealing massive, muscled thighs. All of those men had fabulously toned bodies. None of them raised my interest in the slightest.
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