Undone

by Brook Wilder

  “Diesel!” Mason yanked me away. “For fuck’s sake! Don’t take things out on my furniture!”

  “This is my kid, Mason!” I shouted. “You know what happened last time. I won’t let anything happen this time.”

  Mason was the only one who knew about my past, every secret and skeleton. He knew how much of a touchy subject this was. And he was telling me to try and be calm? Mason had to be out of his goddamn mind.

  “How do you know it’s even yours? Remember what Amber is.”

  “I haven’t forgotten, but I trust her word.”

  “I hope you do. Because you know how bad things are going to be if you find out it’s not your baby, or you end up losing both.”

  I didn’t want to hear it. I punched the filing cabinet, making it rattle again.

  “Stop telling me that, Mason! You think I don’t know that? These… these girls don’t deserve it. Sure, they get beaten and knocked about from pillar to post, but they’re not involved in the war. Khloe’s brothel was meant to be neutral ground, not a battleground.”

  It had been agreed a long time ago that Khloe’s place would cater for everyone, and that no fights were to be committed on the premises. Fernandez had ignored that completely, and now Khloe was pissed. I was pissed. Fernandez had done a lot to the bikers and had nearly destroyed Mason and Noah by toying with their girls.

  I wasn’t about to let that happen to me Not that Amber was my girl, but I couldn’t stop thinking about coming to her rescue.

  Since when have I ever been a knight in shining armor?

  “I’m still not happy about you offering protection from us,” Mason grumbled. “We might not be able to follow through on it.”

  “I gave Khloe my word.”

  “Which you shouldn’t have done. Not without consulting me.”

  I snorted.

  “I’ve figured that. Because you’re going to make me look like a fucking fool now.”

  “You do that all on your own.” Mason watched me curiously. “I don’t understand you, Diesel. You’ve not done anything this rash before. That’s not your style.”

  “You trying to psychoanalyze me now?” I asked.

  “I’m just wondering about your motivations.” Mason leant on his desk, folding his muscular arms. “What does Amber mean to you, Diesel? Don’t bullshit me.”

  I turned away. I didn’t want to discuss feelings. That was for everything else, even big hulks like Mason and Noah, but not for me. We weren’t involved, as far as I was concerned.

  “She doesn’t mean anything to me.” Why did that feel like a lie? “Except she’s someone who doesn’t need to be in this mess.”

  “Right.” Mason snorted. “A someone who voluntarily became a whore with Khloe. A someone that you’ve been fucking. Shit, Diesel, there are a lot of girls about for our satisfaction.”

  “You’ve got Cassie, and she would kill you if you went elsewhere.”

  Mason rolled her eyes.

  “Don’t be fucking dense. You know what I mean. Why are you so focused on one girl?”

  I didn’t want to talk about any of this. It wasn’t getting us anywhere. I turned back “If you want to argue with me about all this shitting mess, go right ahead. But I’m going to find them. With or without your help.”

  Mason stared at me. Then he rubbed his hand over his eyes and let out a heavy sigh.

  “I can’t help you. But Noah can. He’s got some contacts who can find things out quicker than Khloe.” He leant over the desk and picked up a set of car keys and tossed them to me. “And take my jeep. It’s got a full tank.”

  “The bike would be faster.”

  “Do you really want to put a pregnant woman on the back of a bike?”

  “Fair point.” Diesel shoved the keys into my pocket. “Thanks, Mason.”

  “Diesel.”

  Mason’s voice stopped me as I reached the door. I saw a shadow pass over my friend’s eyes. Suddenly, the boss looked like he was getting too old for this.

  “I hope Amber’s okay.”

  I grunted as I left the room. I couldn’t have said it better himself.

  Chapter Three

  Amber

  My whole body hurt. I felt like I had been whacked over the head. Even as I slowly roused, it was tough to open my eyes. It was like pain was pressing down, refusing to let me be fully conscious.

  As I lay there, aware that the floor was moving, I carefully checked myself over, sliding my hands across my body. Nothing seemed to be broken. My cheek was stinging from the slap I had received. My knuckles felt raw and they were throbbing. My ankle hurt like hell. It was either a bad twist or a sprain.

  That was something, at least.

  But where was I? What was I in? And where was I going? That was what worried me more. From the look of the men who had grabbed me before they shoved a needle into my arm, they were Hispanic. It had to be Fernandez’s doing. But what did they want with me? Had they gone after me because of me helping Liz out? Did they think I knew something?

  Or was it something more sinister?

  “Amber?” A hand touched my shoulder, giving me a gentle shake. “Amber! Wake up!”

  That almost had me sitting up straight, only stopping when my head screamed at me. I wasn’t alone. Rolling onto my side, I managed to open my eyes. But it was pitch black. I couldn’t see anything. The floor was still moving, causing me to rock. I felt metal under my hand.

  “Amber!”

  “Kayla?” I reached out and grasped the shaking fingers on my arm. “Help me up.”

  It was difficult when we couldn’t see, but Kayla managed to get me to sit up, leaning me against a metal wall that was also rocking. I could feel the smaller girl huddling against me. She was shivering and her skin was ice-cold.

  “Is it just us?” I whispered.

  My throat felt like I had been swallowing sandpaper.

  “No.” Kayla whispered back. “We’re all here.”

  “All of us?”

  “Apart from Khloe, yes.”

  Then my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I could see other huddled forms on the floor, and then I heard the gentle breathing. All the girls from the brothel were here.

  What the fuck was going on?

  “They grabbed me from my room,” Kayla whimpered. “And then they shoved a needle in my arm. I don’t know how long we’ve been out, but I feel sick.”

  “So do I.” I rubbed my belly. My thoughts now went to my baby. Was it okay? I wasn’t having a miscarriage right now, was I? There were no pains in my stomach, so I might be lucky, or so I hoped. “We’ve been drugged. But with what?”

  “I don’t know. But from what I heard as they dragged me out, they weren’t supposed to drug us, but someone came out of Olivia’s room and said to drug all of us since she was kicking up a fuss.”

  “So, they drugged us to be on the safe side,” I said grimly.

  If this was Khloe’s doing, she had a lost to answer for. But I couldn’t believe Khloe would do this. She needed business coming in, and she couldn’t have a business if there were no girls. Why would she have the cartel kidnap her own girls?

  Then again, I didn’t know what to believe anymore. Diesel had told me that trusting someone could be dangerous, so you had to be selective on whom you did trust because it could cost you.

  I had taken that on board. I lived by it. Diesel had taught me lot, and I had been a willing student. Despite misgivings on both sides, the two of us could merge well together, both in personality as well as in the bedroom.

  Did I trust Diesel? Yes, I did. And I was trusting that he would be able to find me and bring us home. Or as close to home as possible with the brothel.

  Diesel wouldn’t let them be taken into the abyss. He wouldn’t.

  “I’m scared, Amber,” Kayla whispered. Her shaking had got worse. “I’m so scared.”

  In a few moments, the teenager was going to start panicking. I had seen the moment Kayla had entered the brothel that she wasn’t cut
out for the business, but she had little choice. Things had been stacked against her, which was why she now worked for Khloe. Barely eighteen, the girl had experienced too many bad things.

  This had to be at the top of the list right now.

  I held Kayla tighter to my side, gently rocking us both. My own problems had to be put aside. Right now, I needed Kayla calm. If the people transporting us knew we were awake, we could be drugged again. Or worse.

  I didn’t want to think about that now.

  “We can’t panic, Kayla,” she said quietly, stroking Kayla’s hair. “We can’t panic. All of us need to keep calm.”

  “I’ve heard the stories.” Kayla spoke as if she hadn’t heard me. “I know what the cartel does. We’ll get sold to the highest bidder. We could end up anywhere.” Her voice was getting louder, more hysterical. “And they could kill us, torture us, pass us around until we’re dead. I don’t want to be that.”

  I clapped a hand over her mouth. Kayla fought back, but eventually subsided. I drew my hand back slowly and pressed a light kiss to Kayla’s forehead.

  “It’s okay, Kayla.” I hugged her tightly. “Calm down. I’m right here. You won’t go through this alone.”

  Kayla was sobbing. I stayed silent, letting her cry it out. My friend had a lot of pent-up emotions that were all coming out in one go, emotions that needed to be released.

  I wanted to cry as well. I had endured a lot of things in my life with my family, my foster family, and the authorities. Surprisingly, this wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to me. But it was damn close. I knew that no one would be concerned if we disappeared off the face of the earth.

  Kayla lifted her head. Her cheek brushed against my arm, and I felt her wet tears on my skin.

  “How can you be so calm in all this?” she asked.

  “I’ve had worse,” I grunted.

  “What’s worse than this?”

  “You’d be surprised.” I sighed. “Or maybe I know I’ve got something to live for.”

  More specifically, someone. I didn’t want to pin all my hopes on one person, but it was what was keeping me from falling apart.

  “You mean Diesel Jacobsen?” Kayla sniffed. “Amber, he’s only going to you for a good fuck.”

  I gave a sardonic smile. “Maybe he is. But he wouldn’t want his piece of meat being taken away like that, would he?”

  “What?” There was a rustling of clothes and Kayla sat up. “You don’t see yourself as a piece of meat, do you?”

  “In a sense, we are. We do things for money, and men take their fill of us before going back into the real world again.” I shrugged. “It’s not easy to admit, but that’s what we are.”

  I had been in this world for nearly two years now. And it had taken eighteen months to come to this conclusion. I had been disillusioned pretty quickly. Now sex was practically a chore. I couldn’t feel any excitement for it, no matter how good the client was.

  There were times when there was a flicker of something, when it became the pinnacle of my day, leaving me breathless, but that was becoming far and few between. Sex was meaningless to me now.

  It was hard to think of myself as anything but a live, moving sex doll.

  “We’re completely screwed, aren’t we?” Kayla whispered.

  “Not necessarily.” I didn’t want to agree that we were screwed. I took Kayla’s hand. “But we can change it, if we want. Once we get out of here, we can change it all.”

  Kayla snorted.

  “As if Khloe will let us go.”

  “She won’t have a choice if we walk out on her.”

  “She can. She can kill us.” There was a noise as Kayla audibly swallowed. “If they don’t kill us first.”

  She did have a point. Khloe was a mother-figure to most of the girls, but she was also ruthless. If she felt she was losing business, Khloe would do anything. I wouldn't put it past her to kill a girl who tried to leave.

  But I couldn’t have us believing there was no way out. There had to be. And I wanted that way out, now more than ever. I cupped the back of Kayla’s neck, resting my forehead against hers.

  “Don’t think like that,” I said. “We’ll stick together. And we’ll get out of this.”

  Kayla took a shaky breath. She sounded like she was about to cry again.

  “As if we have a knight in shining armor to come and rescue us?”

  I wasn’t about to answer that. The knight I was thinking of would be the worst possible choice, but at least he wouldn’t be afraid to get his hands dirty.

  If he came after us at all.

  Chapter Four

  Diesel

  “Diesel, careful!”

  I heard the warning too late. I stepped on something that cracked loudly before breaking it under my boot. Cursing, I lifted my foot and saw the toy car I had just destroyed. They seemed to be suddenly all under my feet.

  “Damn.” I kicked them away, sending them spinning across the kitchen floor. “Stupid toys.”

  Standing at the counter, making herself a mug of coffee, Liz Fisher threw a smirk over her shoulder at me.

  “From what I’ve heard, you’ll be knee-deep in it yourself.”

  “Fuck you, Liz.”

  “Better not. Noah would be furious.” Liz frowned. “Now, would you stop cursing and calm down? You’re scaring Hunter.”

  I had almost forgotten about Liz and Noah’s little boy. I had gone to find Noah at their condo. Noah had gone into a back room to make a few calls while Liz, practically glowing with her pregnancy, kept him company. Their son played away happily on the floor, but now he was standing in the kitchen staring at me with a scared look in his eyes.

  That look had me pulling back. I adored the boy, and I didn’t need to see this. Sighing, I knelt and opened my arms towards the boy.

  “I’m sorry, buddy. Are we friends again?”

  Hunter hesitated. Then he padded over and hugged me. It almost had Diesel in tears. This boy had been through a lot, and he was an innocent. He didn’t need to see this.

  “Hugs.” Hunter drew back and beamed. “Feel better?”

  “Much better.” I ruffled his hair. “Off you go, peanut.”

  Hunter trotted off, going into the living room where a train track was set out. I stood and watched as the boy sat in the middle and began to move the little wooden trains along the track he and Liz had been constructing.

  “You’ve done wonders with him, Liz.” I turned back to the mother. “You really have.”

  “I’d rather have him be remembered for being a sweet, polite child.” Liz stirred her coffee and picked it up, taking a sip as she leant back against the counter. “But the terrible twos haven’t set in yet. This might be the calm before the storm.”

  “You might be lucky and miss it altogether.”

  “I doubt it.” Liz tossed her hair over her shoulder, peering up at me. “How are you holding up, or is that a stupid question?”

  “Stupid question.” But I answered it anyway. “Everything’s a complete mess, Liz. My head hurts from too much thinking.”

  Liz giggled.

  “I’m not surprised. There’s not much up there to do any thinking.”

  I groaned and gave Liz the middle finger.

  “Such a bitch.”

  “Always.” Liz’s laughter died away. She cupped her hands around her mug, her expression softening as she looked up at me. “Amber’s going to be okay, Diesel. She will be.”

  “You don’t know that. And neither do I.”

  That was what pissed me off the most. Amber, the mother of my baby, was in danger, and I had no idea if she was alive or dead. I was nowhere near her, and being this far away made me feel incredibly helpless. Then I saw that Liz was looking at me strangely.

  “What?”

  “You love her, don’t you?”

  I reeled back like I had been slapped. Love Amber? That was a ridiculous notion.

  “No, of course I don’t!” I snapped. I didn’t even know what l
ove was anymore. “I see Amber with some affection, yes, but that’s it. She’s like a little sister.”

  “Diesel, brothers don’t fuck their sisters.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I do know.” Liz put her coffee mug aside. “And I do know that you’re lying to yourself.”