It didn’t matter.
She knew she was on the path of destruction, but right now she couldn’t deal with it. There was a mechanical bull with her name on it and a few cowboys who watched her walk straight for it. Right now, that was all she needed.
A few days later, she stood outside on Broadway, the street packed with people. The Fourth of July fireworks celebration over the Cumberland River was nothing short of amazing. She’d never seen such a display.
Too bad she was totally alone. Which said something about her state of mind. To feel alone yet be surrounded by so many people. Couples kissed, held hands and it did nothing to help the raw ache in her heart.
What she needed was a drink. She pushed her way through the throng, ignored the catcalls, and made her way toward the nearest bar—then stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted him.
Thrand. Her throat closed up.
How she saw him in this crowd was astounding. He looked good. So casual and sexy, all she wanted to do was throw herself into his arms.
Holy hell, how she missed him.
Missed his smile, his touch, the way he moved.
She’d tried to find someone else. Kissed more cowboys than she could keep track of, but she couldn’t do it. No matter how drunk she got, she always managed to get away from them. She didn’t want them. She wanted him.
He wasn’t close, but when he turned his head, as though searching, she ducked and disappeared into another bar. And drowned herself as deep as she could get.
Anything to numb what he’d done to her.
He’d ruined her for anyone else. And it was all her fault.
Cassie had lost track of time. She asked Mick for days only, tried to avoid Thrand at all cost but she barely made it to work at all. Just went through the motions, ignored everyone and just existed. It was the same every day. Wake up, work—if she could drag herself off the couch she slept on, hit the bars then pass out.
After another night she could barely remember, she somehow made it in for her shift. She tied on an apron, ignored Angel’s dirty looks, and got busy. She wasn’t there two hours when Mick came out of the back and glared at her.
“Cassie,” Mick’s yelled. “In my office.”
Hell. She straightened her shoulders and followed him.
“Sit,” he ordered.
She did.
He fell into his cushy office chair, rolled a pen in his hand and said nothing. She shifted. His disappointment as clear as the frown on his face.
“I like you. But I got a business to run. You get me?”
She nodded and rubbed hard on her cuff.
“I’m gonna give you another shot, because I’ve been where you are. I know what kind of shit is running around in that messed up head of yours.”
She grit her teeth. How she hated when people assumed they knew how she felt or what she thought. “You couldn’t possibly.”
He dropped the pen, laced his hands and leaned forward. “Your dad is a drunk. You ran away to start a new life and run into your past. Shit happens. You either suck it up, or drown in it. It’s your choice, and no one can make it for you. Just remember, don’t burn all your bridges in the process. You got friends here who will have your back if you let them.”
She lifted her chin. “I’m fine.”
He chuckled. “Bullheaded little twit, aren’t you? I admire that fire but you better control it or it will burn you down. After today, I’m giving you a few days off. Figure it out.”
“I don’t need days off.” She insisted but stubborn pride wouldn’t let her beg for her job, no matter how bad she needed it.
“Yeah. You do. Talk to Thrand.”
“No.” She blanched. “If that’s what you require then I quit.”
“My advice to you is to screw your head on straight and figure out what you need.” Mick stood. “This is it. I think you know where we’re at.”
She left her shift that day, pissed as hell. Mick was her boss and had every right to fire her. She’d missed days. Even ran out the back in the middle of work when Thrand did show a couple of times. What he didn’t have the right to do was lecture her.
Her dad was a drunk. Cam had been a drunk…and she was turning into one. Even though Mick was right, she wasn’t ready to face her demons.
She would. Eventually.
But not tonight.
Tonight, she would burn it up until she felt absolutely nothing.
She shoved her hair out of her face, sucked in a breath and walked into what had become her favorite place. The girl bartenders wore a little bit of nothing and danced on the bartop.
“Cassie,” the girls yelled as she reached the bar. They reached down, pulled her up, gave her a shot and shoved a beer in her hand.
Time to forget the world. Again.
Chapter 10
It had been two weeks since Thrand had seen Cassie. And even though the band was doing well, the rest of his life was a fucking mess. He was beyond panicky, especially when Lila voiced her concern about most of Cassie’s stuff being gone. She was still working at Booseys, but she wouldn’t talk to anyone. He’d been all over town, almost every night, looking for her. Except for tonight. He just sat on his couch and nursed a beer.
At a complete loss, with a sick feeling in his gut.
The squeal of tires in front of his house had him getting up, but before he could get to the door, it flew open. Ryan, who had been acting weirder with each passing day, rushed inside.
“I can’t do this anymore. I promised her I wouldn’t tell you, but dammit, she’s gonna end up hurt or dead. Thrand, you gotta do something.”
He gaped at his friend, who was out of breath, his eyes glassy.
There was no doubt who he was talking about.
“What haven’t you been telling me, man?” Fury hit him. He dropped his beer to the floor and fisted Ryan’s wrinkled shirt. “Dude, friend or not, you better start talking.”
Ryan didn’t fight him, just stood there, his hands limp at his sides. “I don’t have time right now. If you want to keep her from doing something really stupid, you gotta come now. I’ll talk on the way.”
Thrand released him and, within seconds, they were out the door and headed down the road.
“Just listen. She’s been a fucking mess since…you know. Anyway, she started hitting every bar on the strip and burning it down. You know what I mean,” Ryan said as he drove.
Thrand’s jaw clenched so tight, his muscles hurt. Yeah, burning it down. Turning every head then disappearing before things got too out of hand.
“Anyway, she’s been calling me. Asking me to get her out.”
“What the fuck? And you didn’t tell me?” He saw red. Ryan had known how worried he’d been but hadn’t said a word.
“Dude. We’re just friends. That’s it. And she made me promise.” Ryan banged the steering wheel. “How the hell did I get in the middle of this?”
“Because you came and picked her up that morning. That’s how. Where is she?”
When they pulled up to Lizard Licks, Thrand cursed again. Of course she would be here, the wildest place in town.
“You’re coming in with me.”
Ryan released a sigh. “Yup. It’s gonna take two of us.”
It wasn’t lost on Thrand that Ryan knew for a fact how hard it would be to get her out of there.
As soon as he walked in, he spotted her, standing on the bar with the other girls, dancing like no one was watching. She wore frayed denim shorts and a soaked white tank top. Her red bra clear for every asshole to see.
Music blared and packed wasn’t the word for this place. It was nuts. He shouldered his way to the bar, not caring who he pissed off. By the time he reached her, she was on her knees, her hands braced behind her on the bar. Her shirt was pulled up to bare her stomach, as some dude got ready to take a shot from her belly button.
He shoved the guy and took the shot himself. She laughed and flung herself right into his arms.
“Thrand?�
� Her shocked face and glazed eyes focused on him.
She’d had no idea whose arms she was throwing herself into. His vision clouded with rage.
“Dammit, Ryan. He promised,” she mumbled in a drunken slur and fought him. Truly fought him. Her eyes wild, she swung at him, but her fists glanced off his arms doing nothing but pissing him off more.
“Stop it,” Thrand said through clenched teeth. “You’re coming home.”
Her fight didn’t last long. She was too drunk. Getting her out was a bit more complicated. Seemed guys wanted to be her hero and save her. He would have punched every dude in the joint, but that meant he’d have to let Ryan carry her.
Fuck that.
So Ryan did some fast-talking to the morons as Thrand barreled through the throng. They reached the truck and she swayed on her feet. Thrand slid into the backseat with her and held her tightly while she passed out in his arms, her body shivering.
When the truck didn’t immediately start, he looked up. Ryan leaned his head on the steering wheel, his shoulders slumping.
“Take us home. She’s freezing,” Thrand said not bothering to hide his hostility.
“Yeah,” Ryan said and had them home in no time.
Thrand moved to get out and bundled up Cassie.
“I’ll get her stuff. Be back in a minute,” Ryan said through the open window of his truck.
Suddenly, it all made sense. All the weird texts and Ryan’s disappearing acts. Lila not knowing where Cas had been staying…she’d been with Ryan.
“You do that.”
Ryan looked guilty as hell before he drove off.
Thrand got Cassie up to his room and quickly stripped off her wet clothes. He tried real hard not to stare at her naked body, instead concentrated on getting her dry. Then he slid one of his shirts over her head, giving him a reprieve and depriving him of the view at the same time. She barely woke during the process. How many times had Ryan seen her like this? He tucked her into his bed, and her contented sigh formed a lump in his throat.
He sat in a chair and stared at her face, noticing the dark circles under her eyes, her thinner frame. Was she trying to kill herself? He got up, went to the bathroom, and splashed cold water on his face. He braced his hands on the sink and dropped his head. His imagination was driving him out of his mind. How many guys had she flung those arms around? Had Ryan been one of them? He rocked on his heels, hot fury coursing through his veins.
He wouldn’t let her go again.
But he might have lost his best friend. He went back in to check on her and found Ryan sitting on the bed beside her. Her bags of stuff were on the floor. Ryan’s hand was on her face.
“Dude, back off,” Thrand whispered through clenched teeth so he wouldn’t wake her.
Ryan jumped to his feet and quickly headed out the room. Thrand shut the door but didn’t latch it so he could hear her if she needed him. He stalked out after Ryan.
“Don’t think you can walk out that door without an explanation.” Thrand was holding back by a thread. One wrong word and he would snap.
Ryan stopped, just short of the door, and faced him. Weary defeat etched his face. “Just so you know, nothing happened between us. I was only there to get her out of a jam.”
“Sorry if I have a hard time believing that considering she’s been staying with you and you just had your hand on her.”
“Trust me. When she wasn’t trying to drink herself into a coma, or having nightmares, she was too busy being in love with you to notice much else.”
Thrand jerked. “What?”
“Look, I brought her back to you. Now don’t fuck it up.” Ryan spat the words and pivoted on his heel.
Thrand grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. “You don’t have the right to be angry. I’ve been trying to find her. You even told me you were looking. For a best friend, you were no friend at all.”
Ryan ran a hand through his hair. “I ran into her at a gig. Drunk as hell, hanging all over some dude. I got her out, but she begged me not to tell you. After that, she started calling me when things got out of hand. She didn’t want you to know, said it was none of your business. So, I didn’t tell you.”
“Because she asked you not to?”
“Yeah.”
“When did you find her?”
“About four days after she left you.”
They glared at each other, and it dawned on Thrand. “You like my girl.”
He swung and hit Ryan’s face with a thud, almost knocking him to the floor. The urge to finish him was tempting, but all Ryan did was hold his jaw and nod. He didn’t fight back.
“I probably deserved that. After you cool off, just remember who brought her back to you.” With that, Ryan left.
Thrand wanted to slam the door, but he didn’t want to wake her. So he shut it quietly, locked it, and took the stairs two at a time to his room. She hadn’t moved. He changed into shorts and slid in beside her. The bed dipped a bit, and she rolled toward him. She was only inches away. He didn’t dare touch her, though. Fear held him frozen. When she woke, would she run again?
Her eyes fluttered open, barely, and his name slipped from her lips as she cuddled right up to him. He took a deep breath, and she sighed against him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.
He hadn’t been sleeping well since she’d left, but the peace that had slipped away the moment she’d slammed into his life was back. She was safe. He drifted off, with his hand tangled in her hair.
Thrand woke with Cassie draped across his chest, her little snores telling him she was still asleep. He lifted his head and glanced at the clock. Eleven A.M. He gently tried to untangle himself from her, but her leg was thrown over his, and as he moved, he realized her shirt had ridden up—with nothing beneath. He stalled, half-in, half-out of the bed, staring at the curve of her hip and ass. The blankets pooled around her knees, so he got a great glimpse of leg with the view.
Thoughts halted as the light filtered in through the window and her tanned skin begged to be touched. That snatched him out of his daze. He jerked out of bed and tossed the covers over her. When she didn’t budge, he frowned. He touched her face. She was warm, her breaths even, but it worried him that she hadn’t woken up.
Several hours later he checked on her. She had moved, but she was still asleep. He sat and gently shook her.
“Cassie. Come on. Buzz, wake up.”
No response. Thrand panicked, wondering if she had been taking drugs. He shook her harder. “Cassie. Wake up.”
Her eyes blinked open, but they didn’t stay open.
“Sleepy.” Her words were barely discernible, and she drifted back asleep.
He stepped out of the room, grabbed his phone, and hit Ryan’s number. When he picked up, he didn’t give Ryan a chance to say anything. “What the fuck has Cassie been taking?”
“What? What the hell you talking about?” Ryan’s voice was groggy as though he’d been asleep, too.
“She won’t wake up.” He’d seen Cam strung out on more than just alcohol and, although Thrand had done some bad shit, drugs were something he stayed away from.
“Dude, chill. If you’d seen how she’d been running herself into the ground…She’s probably just tired. She’s not taking drugs.”
It burned Thrand at both ends knowing Ryan knew more than he did.
“Why the hell was she doing this?” He scrubbed at his short hair in agitation.
“Just talk to her when she wakes up.”
“You’re not going to tell me anything?” Thrand asked, wishing he could punch him again.
“No. Ask her.” Ryan hung up.
“Fuck,” Thrand yelled and crushed the phone in his hand. He wanted to throw it but instead, he made another call.
“Booseys. Mick here.”
Thrand took a deep breath. “Hey. I found Cassie, but she’s not doing too hot. I don’t know what her schedule is, but she won’t be in today.”
“Hang on,” Mick said as
the loud background noise faded. “Went to my office. Could barely hear you. Cassie’s sick?”
“Yeah. Something like that.” So Thrand told him the story of how he found her. “She’s sleeping like the dead.”
Mick grunted. “I’d already cleared her for the next three or four days. I’d told her yesterday to get her act together. Take care of her and get this shit figured out.”
“Thanks, Mick.”
“Oh and Thrand, don’t fuck it up this time.” Then he hung up.
If one more person told him not to fuck it up, he would hit something. When his phone rang and saw Lila’s name, he ignored it. She would probably tell him the same thing.
He’d been checking on Cassie all day, with nothing to do but pace and think, when he finally heard the shower come on upstairs. It was seven that night.
Finally.
He could breathe. He set about fixing her something to eat.
Chapter 11
Cassie sat up and inhaled sharply when she realized where she was.
Thrand’s room.
She put her head in her hands, trying to recall everything that happened last night. Ryan had ratted her out. Damn him. Then she noticed that all she wore was one of Thrand’s shirts. She frowned when she saw her bags on the floor beside her.
Her hand shook as she stepped into the bathroom and noticed her shorts hung on the towel bar. Oh, yeah. She had been wet.
She took a long, hot shower and used Thrand’s soap. His smell brought tears to her eyes, but she refused to think about what she would or wouldn’t say to him. Unable to put it off any longer, she reluctantly made her way downstairs.
The smell of eggs and bacon hit her, making her tummy grumble.
She sucked in a breath when she saw him. He wore shorts and a tee, but it was what he made her feel that had her wanting to run out the door. Or tackle him. She wasn’t sure which.
“Hey.” He put plates of food on the bar and looked at her. “I made you something to eat.”
She nodded and sat on the stool. He was so close, she could see the turmoil in his gray eyes.
“Thanks,” she said and took a tentative bite. Hyperaware of every move he made, she tensed when he came around and sat beside her, eating with her but not saying anything.
FUEL (DirtSlap Series Book 1) Page 9
