by KG MacGregor
Lily pressed her palms against the door of the shower and kissed the glass. “I’ve been telling myself all day that I already am.” She quickly dried her short blond hair and disappeared from the room.
It didn’t surprise her that Lily had been preoccupied at the Big House, especially since she had spent so much of the day talking with Kim…probably about baby Alice. Her own thoughts had bounced between work and babies throughout the day. With their third pregnancy test only a few hours away, she finished her shower and hurried through her ablutions, determined to give Lily her undivided attention.
To her surprise, she found their bedroom aglow in soft candlelight. Lily sat on the edge of the bed wearing her favorite sleepwear, a worn purple tank top that draped to her thighs.
Anna stopped in the doorway of the bathroom and folded her arms. “What’s this?”
“Probably not what you think. Get over here and lose the robe.”
“I love it when you go all dominatrix on me.”
Lily chuckled. “That’ll be the day.” She guided Anna into a prone position across the bed and straddled her backside. Then she dug her fingers into the small of her back and began to knead.
Anna moaned with pleasure, turning on the mental clock that usually kept track of these things so she could return the gesture in kind.
“I know what you’re thinking, Amazon. Forget it, this is all about you.” Lily’s hands trickled outward and brushed the sides of her breasts with feather-like strokes. “Well, not all of it.” She massaged the knots in Anna’s neck, producing a sensation that was alternately torture and bliss.
Anna tucked her chin to expose the long muscle. “You’re killing me…but oh, what a way to go.”
“Give it a minute. If it hurts, it’s probably because you need it.”
“You mean because you knead it.”
Lily answered her pun with a deep, two-handed pinch to her trapezius.
“Ow!”
“Just try to relax. If nothing else, it will feel good when I stop.”
Anna drew a deep breath and tried to empty her head of everything except the physical sensations. It was as if she could feel the muscle fibers separating as Lily pried them apart. “No offense but that feels better than sex.”
Lily chuckled. “Good thing I don’t happen to believe you, or I’d take that personally.”
Anna opened one eye and stole a peek at the clock. “When did we start going to bed at nine o’clock?”
“Maybe it was when you started waking up at four a.m. so you could get a head start on worrying about your day.”
There was no denying that. What Lily probably didn’t know was that she often awoke several times in the night, her mind bombarded with worries about both their fertility efforts and her business. Sometimes it was all she could do to resist getting out of bed to walk the floor and try to clear her thoughts. Over the past two weeks, she had come up with a plan that should take care of her work problems—gutting Premier Motors to its barest operating essentials, from where all forward business spelled profit instead of loss. Encouraged by Hal’s projections, she nonetheless dreaded what the moves would mean to her staff and their families.
“Stop thinking about work.”
“How did you know that?”
“Because you always think about work.” Lily pressed hard on both sides of her spine and popped her back in three places.
“Not always,” Anna grunted. “I’ve been thinking about our baby too. I can tell you’ve been worrying about it. You aren’t the only one who can read minds.”
“Not worried, just anxious. I wish it was tomorrow already.”
“It’ll get here soon enough.” She wanted to point out they might already be pregnant, but it would only underscore the other two times she had said that and it turned out to be false. “It’ll happen, sweetheart, whatever it takes.”
In the quiet minutes that followed, Lily’s touch subtly changed from a therapeutic massage to a loving caress, and Anna became aware of pubic curls brushing her backside. She concentrated on the point of contact, trying to decide if the tantalizing touch was intentional or mere coincidence.
“You have the most gorgeous body,” Lily whispered, sliding aside to cup Anna’s bottom. Then her lips left a moist trail from hip to shoulder, and she settled alongside.
The heat rose between Anna’s legs as Lily stroked her backside and thighs, and she drew her knee upward to open herself. As fingers slid through her wetness from behind, she nestled backward into the warm body and surrendered. Lily took her time, never lingering in one place for more than a few strokes as her lips continued their gentle caress of her shoulder. From her occasional murmurs, she was focused solely on Anna’s satisfaction, and once the tiny spasms began, so was Anna.
“That’s it, baby. Let it go.”
She shuddered and covered Lily’s hand with hers to hold it in place, savoring the intimate connection that was always part of their lovemaking. Only one thing felt better—giving the same pleasure to Lily.
Already aroused, Lily responded quickly. Anna got her wish, her fingers deep inside as Lily’s climax rippled out. Spent, she hovered on the precipice of sleep, stirring only when Lily rose briefly to snuff out the candles.
Lily let out a breath as the nurse withdrew the fat needle and dabbed her elbow with a cotton swab. Only ten days had passed since the implantation procedure, not enough time to feel changes in her body, but this blood test would reveal if their efforts had been successful. This time they had used one egg from her and another from Anna. Dr. Ostrov thought that might improve their odds, since using Anna’s eggs alone hadn’t yet resulted in implantation. If this one failed they had to consider the possibility that her uterus wasn’t suited for pregnancy, though she had never had any gynecological problems to suggest that was the case.
“It’ll take a few minutes to run this,” the woman said. “Dr. Ostrov said you should wait in her office.”
With Anna’s help, Lily slipped back into the dark brown jacket of her suit, which she had worn for an afternoon court appearance. Determined not to let anyone know about their fertility efforts until they were successful, she had taken a couple of hours of sick leave under the auspices of a routine checkup. Considering how many times she had done that since last winter, her co-workers at the Braxton Street Legal Aid Clinic probably shared Kim’s suspicions about a dreaded disease.
Anna had no meetings today, so she was dressed casually in black slacks and an aqua shirt that made her blue eyes shine. Her stomach growled loudly as they stepped into the hallway and she glanced around nervously to see if anyone else had heard.
“I warned you not to skip breakfast.”
“I was too nervous. I would have thrown up.” She handed Lily her handbag. “Take this. I need to make a pit stop.”
With deliberate slowness, Lily strolled to the end of the wide green hallway, pausing to study several embryonic images taken at various stages of cellular development, artfully matted and framed. It was a fitting collection for a practice that specialized in fertility issues, and she was grateful they hadn’t chosen portraits of smiling mothers and their perfect babies. Not all fertility aspirations ended so happily.
In Dr. Ostrov’s office, diplomas lined the wall behind the spotless cherry desk. Medical school at the University of Washington and a residency at UC-San Francisco Medical Center made for a distinguished pedigree. Lily pegged her for mid-forties, even though her short curly hair was completely gray. From her trim and fit figure, she probably lived the healthy lifestyle she prescribed for her patients.
Too nervous to sit, Lily went to the tenth-floor window and looked down on the hospital’s emergency room. It wasn’t much in the way of a view, but she doubted Beth spent much time in her office gazing out the window.
Their expectations were tempered this time, as if their next attempt—a fourth, in which Anna would be implanted—was already a foregone conclusion. That thought filled her with frustration. She wan
ted to carry their child, but when Anna had offered to do it next time she realized how eager Anna was to have a baby now.
Her stomach tightened with anticipation as the door opened, but it was Anna, not the doctor. “No sign of Beth yet,” Lily said.
“It took about twenty minutes last time.” That was five months ago after their second try, when they both had felt the odds were in their favor.
“Twenty minutes that seemed like twenty days.”
“I’ll gladly sit here that long if it means good news.”
All morning Lily had sensed Anna’s resolve. Neither of them had wavered about wanting another child, and the sooner the better. “I need to ask you something important, but it’s okay to say no.”
Anna chuckled and slumped into one of the chairs in front of Beth’s desk. “You should know by now the answer is whatever you need it to be.”
Lily perched on the edge of the other chair and twirled her wedding ring nervously. “It’s kind of scary to me to realize how much I want this. I don’t just mean us having a baby. I mean me. I know Beth said if it didn’t work this time we should think about letting you be the one to get pregnant. I just…I really want you to let me keep trying, at least another couple of times.”
The look on Anna’s face was pure surprise. “You’re kidding.” Then she shook her head with obvious disbelief and started to laugh. “All this time, I’ve been having nightmares because I said I’d go next, and here you’ve been freaking out because you didn’t want me to.”
“Nightmares? I thought you were in a hurry to have children. You said you didn’t want to be the oldest mom at graduation.”
Anna laughed even harder. “This is LA. If I’m worried about looking too old, I’ll get my face pinned back.”
“Over my dead body! No one touches that face.” Their silliness was a welcome relief to the angst that had been building for days. Even if today’s test came up empty, Anna was willing to give her more chances, and that felt like release of a pressure valve. “I can’t believe I’ve been worrying this whole time. I didn’t want you to get frustrated about how long it might take. That’s what we get for not talking to each other.”
“We studied all the options, Lily. The way I see it I’m just a backup plan. I only offered because I didn’t want you to get discouraged about it.”
That was the Anna Kaklis she knew and loved, the one who would go to any lengths to make her happy. “I don’t care what any of those other people say. I think you’re the most amazing woman in the world.”
“What other people?” Anna quirked her eyebrows with suspicion just as Dr. Ostrov burst through the door, her open lab coat trailing behind her like a cape.
Lily tried to read her face. No frown, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. She might just be trying to keep an optimistic outlook.
She dropped a folder on her desk and collapsed into her high-backed leather chair declaring, “I love my job.”
Both of them sat up ramrod straight, their hands tightly entwined. “What are you saying?”
“Technically speaking, I’m saying your hCG was thirty-six.” She then broke out into a wide grin. “Not so technically, I’m saying the third time’s a charm. You’re pregnant.”
Anna’s eyes went wide and she covered her mouth to muffle a quiet scream. “We did it!”
“Indeed we did,” Beth said, folding her hands atop the manila folder. “Feel free to pretend I’m not here for a minute. That’s what most couples do right about now.”
Lily realized she was grinning wildly, and she leaned into Anna’s eager kiss. This was it, the answer to their dreams.
“The blood test is just the first step,” Beth continued. “All we know right now is that the embryo implanted and that kicked up your hCG. Actually, it could be two embryos.”
“Two?” Lily asked. They had known from the beginning that twins were a possibility because they were using two eggs to increase their odds. But since Anna’s eggs hadn’t implanted before, Lily had automatically assumed this baby was from her egg. “You think it’s possible Anna’s would have implanted too?”
“Her eggs were as healthy as any I’ve seen. As far as I’m concerned this baby could belong to either of you.”
“But why didn’t it—”
“Just the odds.”
“It doesn’t matter. This baby belongs to both of us,” Anna declared exuberantly.
“That’s the spirit. We’ll do the blood tests every couple of weeks just to make sure things are happening on schedule. In the meantime I want you on a regimen of vitamins and exercise, and this is where you have to start watching your diet…lots of fruits and vegetables.” Beth paged through the folder again. “You don’t drink so that’s not an issue…no medications. As of right now I don’t want you taking anything without getting my okay, not even for an upset stomach or headache. Got it?”
“Got it.” She crossed her heart for emphasis, realizing that Anna was squeezing her other hand so hard the knuckles had started to turn white.
“What else?” Anna asked, her voice changing to business mode. “Does she have any other restrictions? Should she take it easy? Quit work?”
Lily had a feeling that if it were up to Anna she would stay home in bed starting this afternoon. She had planned to continue working as long as she could, but after the trouble they’d had getting pregnant in the first place, it occurred to her Beth might want to take a more cautious approach.
“I don’t advise taking up a new sport or active hobby, but most women are fine doing the things they’ve always done.” She slid a pamphlet across her desk. “Here are some things you should watch for in the first trimester. Your body will change a lot in the next few weeks, probably even more than in the final months of pregnancy.”
It was surreal to think of her body as different now, especially since it didn’t feel different at all. She didn’t mind the prospect of changes, not even the ones Kim had complained about when she was pregnant. Anything was worth it to get the baby they wanted.
“What’s our due date?” Anna asked.
Beth nodded toward the pamphlet in Lily’s hand. “I wrote it down for you. First of June. I also circled December first because fourteen weeks is what we consider the end of the greatest risk period. Some couples like to wait until then to tell everyone, but it’s totally up to you. My guess is you’ll be showing a little by then.” She abruptly stood and clapped her hands together with a smile. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go make some more babies. I’ll see you back here in two weeks for another blood test.”
Lily sat frozen in her seat until Anna gave her a tug. “I can’t believe it. We’re actually pregnant.”
“Let’s take the day off and go home to celebrate.” Given the demands at Premier Motors, it was an incredibly generous offer.
“I can’t. I have to be in court this afternoon. My client is getting a much-needed divorce. I’ll take a rain check though.”
Anna sighed, but by her wide grin she was anything but disappointed. “I hope Andy doesn’t mind being put to bed at six thirty. I think a private celebration is in order.”
“If I get home first I’ll make him swim laps until he’s exhausted.”
After making a stop at the desk to schedule their next appointment, they continued to the garage, where they had parked side by side. Anna held the door of Lily’s X3 SUV. “I won’t tell anyone today, but folks are going to wonder why I’m smiling so much when we’re losing money.”
Fear gripped Lily for the first time. “I think we should wait until December, like Beth said. I don’t think I could stand losing—”
Anna cut her off with a kiss. “We won’t lose anything, sweetheart. Our baby will be perfect.”
Typical Anna, strong and confident. Lily hoped the same for their baby, and that it would have her crystal blue eyes as well.
Chapter 2
Lily jiggled the connector cable to her monitor, bringing her document back to life. The equipmen
t at the Braxton Street Legal Aid Clinic was ancient by the standards of most law firms. More than once she had considered buying her own computer for the office, something compatible with the one she used at home. Over the summer she had written a small grant to upgrade their office computer system, but with the recession most foundations were sitting on their funds.
The intercom button on her phone beeped. “Lily, Tony wants to see you in his office.”
Their workload had exploded in the past year with the rise in foreclosures and evictions, to say nothing of all of the people clamoring for benefits. She had managed to carve out a specialized caseload of family issues, mostly custody and adoption cases, and divorce. As always her concern was for the welfare of the children.
She pushed her stocking feet into her pumps, buttoned the cuffs on her striped Oxford shirt and smoothed her navy skirt. It was her typical office attire, comfortable enough for a casual day behind her desk, yet with a matching jacket dressy enough should she be called to court. No sign of a growing belly so far, though she was now eight weeks along. It thrilled her to think she might be showing in only another month, and neither she nor Anna had broken their pact not to tell anyone, somehow keeping their secret for six weeks.
Walking past the reception area to Tony’s office, she noted the unusual clutter on Pauline’s desk. Clearly they all were swamped.
“You need to see me, chief?”
Tony glanced up from his desk, where he was studying several open case files. “Yeah, give me a sec.”
Last year, soon after his forty-second birthday, he had started wearing reading glasses, and they now sat perched upon his nose. His thin sandy hair was standing up as though he had mussed it in exasperation and his tie hung loosely around his neck.
Lily took advantage of the chance to stretch her legs, foregoing the offered chair to gaze out the window onto busy Braxton Street. She had the same view from her office but couldn’t see it from her desk unless she stood.
With a deep sigh, Tony picked up a file and joined her at the window. Over the past three years, marriage and family had cut into his active lifestyle, and Colleen’s home cooking had deposited a spare tire around his waist. They now had three children, two from her previous marriage and the baby they had welcomed just last year. Lily was bursting to share the news of her pregnancy, but was determined to hold off for a few weeks more until their tests checked out. No doubt Tony would panic, just as he had when fellow attorney Lauren had gotten pregnant a couple of years earlier. She had taken only two months maternity leave. Lily planned to ask for six.
