by Daren King
‘They’re frightfully friendly,’ the boy said, and he laughed.
‘After what I’ve seen today,’ Harold said, picking up the nose plugs, ‘that doesn’t surprise me in the least.’
20
The Mermaid’s Tail
‘Harold,’ the Captain said as we took off our pirate costumes, ‘hand me those nose plugs.’
‘They’re not for sale,’ Harold said. ‘These are just samples.’
‘You’ll get them back,’ Tabitha said. ‘We just want to borrow them, while we frighten away the phantom pirates.’
‘If they’ll help you get rid of those scallywags,’ Harold said, ‘you can keep them.’
We each chose a pair of nose plugs and fitted them into our phantom nostrils.
‘Captain,’ Tabitha said, ‘what’s the quickest way back to the crates of garlic?’
‘This way,’ the Captain said, and he led the still-alive boy and us seven ghosties straight to the door labelled CARGO.
‘I can barely smell the garlic at all,’ Agatha said as the Captain prised open the first crate.
Harold smiled proudly. ‘I only sell the best,’ he said. ‘Those are the finest nose plugs in the world.’
The next part of the plan was to hang garlic bulbs all over the ship, but we couldn’t do that on our own. We needed the still-alives to help.
Passing the garlic bulbs around the ocean liner was easier than you might think. The moment a still-alive hung a bulb around their neck, the phantom pirates left them alone. The still-alive could then hand garlic bulbs to their family and friends.
‘Here,’ Tabitha said, tucking a garlic clove into a vicar’s collar. ‘Garlic, to ward off the phantom pirates.’
‘There’s another nine crates of the stuff in the hold,’ Charlie said, handing a garlic clove to a chef. ‘Grab yourself a handful and pass them around.’
A still-alive circus troupe strung garlic bulbs on a length of string and hung it along the corridors. Smiling children filled their pockets with garlic bulbs and stuck peeled cloves to cabin doors.
By now, the garlic fumes wafting around the corridors were so strong, even the still-alives had to hold their noses.
The phantom pirates did not like the smell one bit. ‘Ooh-arrr, me wafties!’ they cried as they flitted out through the boat’s portholes. ‘Back to the Raggy Dolly! Abandon ship!’
Soon, there wasn’t a jangly hoop earring or a wooden leg in sight. As the news of the fleeing pirates spread up and down the corridors and stairwells, the still-alives began to shout and cheer.
‘We did it!’ the still-alives cried. ‘The pirates have left us alone!’
At that moment, a man and a woman stepped out of the crowd. ‘Timmy?’
The still-alive boy turned, and smiled a broad, beaming smile. ‘Mum! Dad! And you’re together!’
‘We don’t argue any more,’ the boy’s mother said, kissing him on the forehead. ‘This holiday was just what we needed.’
‘I’d like you to meet my new friends,’ the still-alive boy said. ‘These friendly ghosts have saved the day!’
‘I’m afraid we’re not home and dry yet,’ Eleanor said, scrawling in her notebook. ‘This boat has no engine.’
‘The still-alives could escape in lifeboats,’ Humphrey said.
The Captain frowned. ‘There are five thousand holidaymakers on board the Porcelain Princess, and we’re hundreds of miles from dry land.’
‘Perhaps my friend can help,’ I said, a little shyly. And I told Tabitha and the others about the mermaid I’d met at the bottom of the ocean.
‘I’ve spent thirty years at sea,’ the Captain said, ‘and I’ve never believed in mermaids, giant squid or any other fantastical sea creature. But then, until today, I didn’t believe in spirits either.’
‘Whether this mermaid could help or not,’ Tabitha said as the Captain led us onto the deck, ‘she won’t be able to do a thing if we can’t find her.’
The Captain leant on the rail and breathed in the salty sea air. The storm had blown itself out and the sun was setting in the west. If we squinted our eyes, we could see the Raggy Dolly sailing over the horizon.
It was then that I began to lose hope.
‘We’ll never find my mermaid friend under all those waves,’ I said, gazing out at the vast blue yonder.
The sun had almost set now, and the waves glistened in the light from the ocean liner’s cabin windows.
‘I’d radio for help,’ the Captain said, ‘but the pirates stole the ship’s radio equipment.’
‘We’re trapped!’ Wither wailed poetically. ‘Left to drift forever on an ocean liner with no means of propulsion.’
I was about to ask Wither what he was talking about when the still-alive boy leapt up and down excitedly. ‘Shh!’ the boy said. ‘I can hear singing.’
We listened.
At first we heard only the crash and tumble of waves. Then an enchanting voice floated up from the water. Peering over the rail, we saw an elegant figure bobbing among the foam.
The mermaid!
‘There I was,’ the mermaid sang brightly, ‘flicking through the latest issue of Deep Sea Life, when a huge mechanical object plunged into the water. I wondered what it was at first, but then I glanced up and saw the underside of the Porcelain Princess’.
‘What a pretty mermaid,’ Eleanor said, scrawling notes in her notepad.
‘Pretty she may be,’ the boy’s father said, ‘but how can she help?’
‘Leave this to me,’ I said, and I wisped over the rail and down to the surface of the water, leaving the other ghosties to marvel at my bravery.
‘Hello, Pamela!’ the mermaid sang as she combed her hair.
‘The engine was tossed overboard by the phantom pirates,’ I explained. ‘They wanted to turn the ocean liner into a floating pirate hotel. Can you help us get home?’
‘Certainly!’ the mermaid sang. ‘My friends and I will tow the Porcelain Princess all the way to England.’
The mermaid swished her tail, slapping it against the water, and hundreds of mermaids and mermen emerged from the foamy waves.
‘Hooray!’ the still-alives cried as they gazed down from the top deck. ‘Hooray for the mermaid!’
‘And hooray for Pamela Fraidy!’ the ghosties cheered as I floated back up.
‘Pamela Bravery, don’t you mean?’ I said, and I smiled – just a little shyly.
That night, the still-alives threw a party on the top deck, with dancing and coloured lanterns, and a brass band playing seaside songs, as our enchanted friends towed the Porcelain Princess all the way home.
An interview with Daren King
Who is your favourite ghosty?
Charlie Vapour. Like me, he’s dapper and he looks good in a trilby.
Where do you normally write your stories?
At the funfair, on the rollercoaster.When it’s raining I write at home.
What is your favourite colour?
Orange. No, blue. Wait . . . no, red. Definitely red.
Are you scared of the dark?
I find darkness comforting. It’s like a warm, soft duvet.
Have you ever seen a ghost?
I’ve seen hundreds of ghosts, and all were frightfully friendly.
Where do you get your ideas from?
Most of my ideas come from conversations. If you talk about fun things with your friends, you will have fun ideas.
What is the worst job you’ve ever had?
I used to work as a secret agent. I was terrible at it.
The problem was, I just can’t keep a secret.
An interview with David Roberts
Who is your favourite ghosty?
My favourite ghosty to draw is Rusty Chains because of his clanking chains and his miserable face.
When did you start to draw?
I have always loved drawing. When I was very small my favourite things to draw were ladies wearing big dresses.
What is your favourite colour?
My favourite colour is grey because there are so many different shades. My second favourite colour is yellow.
Are you scared of the dark?
I thought I wasn’t scared of the dark until a few years ago in the Welsh countryside; there were no street lights and I had to walk through woods to get to my holiday cottage. It was so dark I could not even see my feet. There were creepy sounds all around me and I was TERRIFIED.
Have you ever seen a ghost?
No. I am very pleased to say that I haven’t!
Introducing the ghosties in Book 1 of the spookiest series around!
You still-alives are so mean us ghosties!
Tabitha Tumbly, Charlie Vapour and friends can’t understand why the still-alives in their house are so horrid.
When a still-alive locks Pamela Fraidy in the attic, the ghosties are determined to make friends with them.
But will the still-alives accept their ghosty friendship?
Out now from Quercus
The ghosties go on holler-day in Book 2
What better than a ghostly holler-day by the sea?
But how are the ghosties to decide between Frighten-on-Sea and Scare-borough?
A postcard from their friend Headless Leslie decides for them: Headless is in Frighten and cannot remember how to get home!
So the friends set off on an exciting ghosty caper involving a haunted pier, a funfair and a spooky phantom magician …
Out now from Quercus
Humphrey Bump is causing trouble at school in Book 3
What’s more horrid than a ghost school?
Still-alive school, of course!
Bumping is Humphrey Bump’s favourite thing, but when he is kicked out of ghost school for dangerous bouncing, he has to go to still-alive school!
The other ghosties are on hand to cause a stir in the classroom, but this just takes things from bad to worse …
Will Humphrey fi ght the bullies and triumph?
Find out in this feast of bouncy, ghosty fun!
Out now from Quercus
For more spooky stories and
terrific tales visit:
www.quercusbooks.co.uk
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