Even though Beatrice was barely awake, her makeup was top-notch and her hair was perfectly styled. Her nightgown and bathrobe were made of the most expensive silk money could buy.
And even that early in the morning, Beatrice held onto her resentment like an army protecting its fortress, and the full force of it slammed into Lily, making her stomach turn. Lily threw her toast on her plate. She certainly wouldn’t be able to finish her breakfast now.
“First day of school,” she answered.
“Oh.”
Lily wasn’t surprised Beatrice didn’t know school was beginning that day. In fact, her mother couldn’t care less.
After her dad had died, Lily had to register for school herself since her mother never cared enough to do it or help her. Good thing her uncle cared and was there to help her navigate all the paperwork. Lily also did her own registering for all her activities, and her uncle signed the forms and wrote the checks. If anyone knew Charlie was technically not her legal guardian, no one ever said anything. He was the one paying and it was enough for the school.
“I have an event tonight,” Beatrice said lightly. “Do look your best for dinner.”
In reality, Lily felt Beatrice didn’t want her anywhere near the house.
“You want me here?” she asked, pretending she didn’t already know the answer.
Lily should not be playing that game. She should just say no.
“Of course I do,” Beatrice lied, a smile on her face. “After all, there’s still hope I can make someone out of you yet.”
Lily knew Beatrice didn’t believe a word of it. She believed Lily was the lowest of the low, and nothing could be done with her.
Lily’s heart constricted, despite the facade she was working hard to maintain. In times like these, she wished with all her heart her father were still alive. He had always believed in her, and Beatrice wouldn’t have dared say any of this had he still been there.
“I’m someone, Beatrice. I’m an honor roll student, and a first chair and soloist in the band.”
“Oh! Who cares about that?” Beatrice asked, waving her hand dismissively. “You have to have prestige and connections. Of course, you’re so your father’s daughter, it’s to be expected you wouldn’t understand nor know anything about that,” she added with a chuckle.
Beatrice turned to the coffeepot and poured herself a cup, all the while feeling self-satisfied, no doubt because she had taken a stab at someone so early in the morning.
“Yes, I am and will always be my father’s daughter,” Lily said, taking a sip of juice. It tasted sourer than usual.
“Shame. You could be so much better, so much more,” Beatrice said with a shrug.
Beatrice didn’t believe it and neither did Lily. To Beatrice, Lily was broken beyond repair, never mind that she wasn’t a toy.
“I don’t want to.” Lily already felt it: disappointment, disapproval, and a profound sense of disdain. Despite the fact she already knew about those feelings, Lily wanted to cry.
She had never understood why Beatrice hated her so. She had lived with her for the last seventeen years and had hoped Beatrice would eventually warm up to her. But Beatrice had never, ever liked her nor wanted her. She had always been jealous of the relationship Lily had had with her father, as if Lily had stolen him from her somehow.
Lily had to get out of there before tears came to her eyes. Her breakfast sat uncomfortably in her stomach, and the last thing she wanted was to give Beatrice the satisfaction of seeing how much she affected her.
“Oh, look at the time. I’m running late.” Quickly, she grabbed the rest of her toast and left the kitchen.
She hated to be home. She didn’t belong there. Why couldn’t Beatrice be like Sandra’s mother, Nicole? At least Nicole knew exactly when school began. She even knew Lily’s and Sandra’s class schedules. And how many times had her uncle or Nicole driven her to school? Lily had lost count.
She quickly ran to her bedroom, gathered her school bag and her computer, and ran down the stairs. A few moments later, she was sitting in her car, letting it run to cool off. She texted Sandra, who rode to and from school with her, to let her know she was already waiting.
Five minutes later, Sandra opened the passenger door and got in the car. Closing the door, she turned to Lily, a broad smile on her face. “You’re ready early. In a hurry to see Malakai?”
“No. I just didn’t want to inconvenience Beatrice any longer than I had to.”
“I’m sorry, Lily,” Sandra said, losing her smile. “I can only imagine how it is without your shields.”
“You know, I’m convinced I’ve been able to shield just because I didn’t want to feel her. I don’t know if I would have survived that long otherwise.”
A prickling sensation came to Lily’s eyes as she looked at the house her father had left her.
“We will be happy here, Lily,” he had said when they had moved in.
But his happiness had ended over a year earlier, and most of Lily’s had died along with him.
“It’s possible,” Sandra said, bringing her back to the present. “But seeing as you’re the only empath I know, I can’t really compare you to anyone else.”
Lily chuckled.
Sandra had coined the term empath when they had searched the Internet a few years back to find out if they could discover any other people like her. They had found nothing other than conspiracy theories.
Lily had been disappointed, but she hadn’t been surprised. She was convinced her power was a fluke, a rare genetic mutation, and she believed she was the only one with it. Besides, she had charcoal-gray eyes, and those too were anomalies in and of themselves.
Lily put the car in reverse and drove away from her house. Ten minutes later, she parked her Mini Cooper in her school assigned parking spot and got out of the car.
“Well, here we are,” Sandra said, getting out of the car also.
“Yes,” Lily said, looking at the school and feeling her breakfast sitting uncomfortably in her stomach again.
Already the humming of the faraway emotions was crawling all over her mind. At least, a lot of those were happy feelings, as most students were excited to be back in school and to reunite with their friends.
“You’ll be fine, you know,” Sandra said, walking around the car to join Lily.
“I don’t know. I already feel overwhelmed,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Yes, but band practices have become easier, no?”
Lily nodded and then glanced at the school with apprehension.
“Let me walk you to your first class,” Sandra said, putting her hand on Lily’s arm, blocking the humming surrounding her.
“Okay,” she said in a small voice.
Sandra put Lily’s arm through hers like they used to do when they were kids. Lily looked up at her friend and gave her a smile of gratitude. Sandra was the best.
“Ready?” Sandra asked.
“Let’s do this.”
They made their way to the school, Lily as nervous and uncomfortable as on her first day as a freshman three years earlier.
Chapter Eleven
MALAKAI
As soon as Malakai made his way into the school, he was surrounded by people who just had to talk to him. After the message he had left his father earlier that morning, all he wanted was to surround himself with his closest friends.
But none of them were around.
After rushing through the crowd, he finally made it to his first classroom, AP English. As he walked in, he was surprised to see Lily sitting along the wall, the third desk from the door, her head bent over a book. He walked to the empty desk behind her and sat. As he leaned forward, he smelled her. And she smelled so, so good: green tea, the same kind his mother used to brew when he was young. It created a longing in him, a longing to see his mother but at the same time, a longing to take Lily in his arms and never let go. He just wanted to kiss her until his head spun. He had never felt so strongly about a gi
rl before; he had never wanted to kiss a girl that badly before, and he didn’t know what to make of it.
But before he could do anything, he had to know her.
“Hey,” he said, gently touching her shoulder.
This simple touch sent a warm and fuzzy feeling up his arm. It was almost as if her soul had caressed his, as if his soul had in turn rejoiced at her nearness. Malakai was about to reach out to touch her again when she turned, her gray eyes meeting his. They were as wonderful as he remembered, and he couldn’t help himself; he smiled.
She was beautiful. In fact, Malakai thought she was prettier than all the cheerleaders and Zoe’s clique combined, and they were supposed to be the finest girls in school. Her long brown hair was fastened in a ponytail that morning, and her delicate face was makeup free except for a pink lip gloss, which favored her complexion. She wore a black school polo shirt and jeans.
“I…I was wondering if you were all right,” he said quietly, slipping his hands under his legs to prevent himself from reaching out and touching her again.
Malakai hoped he wasn’t making a complete fool of himself with his pathetic line, but then she smiled. He was fascinated by her straight white teeth and her pink lips. Somehow, he caught himself thinking if angels did exist, they would look just like her.
“Yes, I am. Thank you for asking. Bumped into anyone else lately?” she asked, a glint in her eyes.
“No,” he answered, looking at his desk, a small smile on his lips. So far, so good, he thought as he glanced up at her. If she was attempting humor, he must be doing something right. “I try not to make a habit out of it, you know. It would cost me a fortune in magazines, and I would have to get a monthly parking pass at the hospital.”
Lily laughed, something real and true, and Malakai was reminded of wind chimes in a breeze. It was the most amazing sound he had heard in a long, long time.
“Thank you for the magazine. I really liked it.”
“I’m glad you did.”
And he was—a lot.
Before he could say anything else, Wes entered the classroom and, walking like a bull, made his way to the desk next to Malakai. He let his bag drop loudly to the floor and plopped onto the chair, the legs scraping the floor.
Of course, someone would have to pick this exact moment to interrupt a conversation Malakai actually enjoyed and had looked forward to, and that someone had to be a person he barely recognized anymore.
“Hey, bro,” Wes said, turning to Malakai. “Missed you in the parking lot earlier.”
Malakai frowned. “I didn’t know you had AP classes.”
“Yeah! I decided to show everybody football players aren’t only muscles,” he said with a grin.
“Can you actually pass this class?” Malakai asked before he could stop himself.
“Dude, why wouldn’t I pass? I mean, it can’t be that hard,” he added, looking at Lily.
Malakai’s blood was pounding in his ears. The last thing he wanted was for Wes to pick on Lily or any of the band members, for that matter. The old Wes would never have done something like that; he would have only ignored them. But this new Wes, who hung out with Zoe? Who knew?
Malakai glanced toward Lily, but she had turned around and resumed her book, no longer listening to them. Disappointed his conversation with her was over, he turned back to Wes and listened to him drone on and on about Zoe, again.
Chapter Twelve
LILY
It was strange sitting in front of Malakai. He was nothing like the other boys Lily had met lately. Most of them had two things on their minds: sports and sex, and not much else. The vast majority of the time when she met them, she felt appraised, as if she were an object and not a person in her own right.
With Malakai, it was different.
She didn’t understand why, but when he smiled at her, Lily felt as weightless as a feather; when he spoke to her, she had the impression someone was singing a hymn to her soul; and when he touched her shoulder, she believed everything would be all right, that her shielding situation wasn’t so bad after all. His touch felt so safe, so peaceful, so right. She had never quite felt that way with anyone before, and she wanted to feel his touch again.
She wanted it so badly that needles kept running through her fingers as if they had gone numb. She stretched her hands under her desk, hoping to get rid of the sensation. After all, she was nothing special, and Malakai had plenty of girls throwing themselves at him. She just didn’t want to be one of them.
All throughout the period, she perceived Malakai—the only presence she seemed to be able to feel for one reason or another—was distracted, and it prevented her from concentrating.
And it worried Lily.
If Malakai sitting next to her distracted her so, how was she ever going to be able to keep her average up? But the thought of switching seats, of moving away from him, made her soul cry in pain.
When the bell rang, Lily barely had any notes and didn’t even get the assignment for the next class. As Malakai passed her on his way out, he brushed her shoulder, and she felt a warm caress to her mind. She watched him make his way to the door, Wes monopolizing his attention, and, as he was about to walk out, he glanced at her and gave her a small smile. Lily’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of it.
Then he was gone.
She quickly gathered her books, reached the front desk, and asked the teacher if he would repeat the assignment to her. The classroom was empty when she finally made it into the corridor.
The moment she joined the mass of students, she was assaulted by a wave of emotions so powerful her head pounded and began to spin. She tried to push the sensations away but to no avail. They kept on crashing into her, drowning her.
She put her hand on the wall next to the door and took a few deep breaths, tasting bile at the back of her throat.
She had to do something and quickly. She didn’t want anyone to see her this way. She didn’t want to have to explain what was wrong with her if someone were to ask. All she wanted was to become invisible.
Putting her back against the wall, she slid to the ground and retrieved her cell phone. With shaking hands, she texted Sandra their emergency code and told her where she was. Then she closed her eyes and put her head on her knees, rubbing her temples to ease the pressure.
She didn’t know how long she had been there when Sandra finally arrived.
“Lily,” she said, putting her hand on Lily’s shoulder. “I couldn’t find you! If you hadn’t told me where to look, I wouldn’t have found you at all.”
The minute her friend touched her, the sea of emotions was replaced by Sandra’s only: worry and a touch of fear. Lily sighed in relief, the pressure in her head diminishing considerably.
“You okay?” Sandra asked.
Lily looked at Sandra, tears threatening to spill from her eyes, and shook her head.
“I… Sandra, what am I going to do? I can’t even walk two feet in the corridor without feeling like someone is picking at my brain, slowly, with needle-size chopsticks.”
“I don’t know, but at least you took two steps more than this morning,” Sandra said with an encouraging smile. “How was class?”
“Not so bad once the lecture began,” she said, looking away.
“The truth, Lily!”
“I…I don’t have any notes,” Lily admitted. “Sandra, what am I going to do?”
“We’ll figure it out,” Sandra said, helping her to her feet. “For now, we have to get you to your next class before we’re late.”
Lily told her where to go, and Sandra began pulling her down the corridor.
“How was it this morning when people began to arrive?”
“People were trickling in so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.”
She remembered the moment Malakai came into the room. All she felt was him. The others were only a second thought. She would have told Sandra, but they didn’t have the time.
“Okay, good. Then we’ll have to figure ou
t how we can use that later. Now we really have to get you to your next class. There’s not much time left before the second bell.”
They arrived at Lily’s classroom, and Sandra turned to her. “I’ll come and get you after class. Wait for me inside, okay?”
“Okay. Sandra, thank you.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.”
Only a few stragglers remained in the corridor when Lily entered her classroom and took the nearest empty desk, dizzy again from the effort of keeping the emotions from the classroom at bay. The moment the lecture began, things got better, and Lily relaxed a little but the moment someone’s mind drifted away, their emotions distracted her, and she could no longer concentrate. In a classroom where half the boys thought about girls, and the girls about boys, minds tended to drift a lot, making it impossible for Lily to hear anything that was said or take any notes. Again she didn’t get the assignment and had to approach the teacher once the bell rang.
It was embarrassing.
She had to find a way to manage her classes, and quickly; otherwise, she wouldn’t survive the year.
Chapter Thirteen
LILY
By lunchtime, Lily was exhausted and starved. Her lack of shields was by far worse than she had expected. She was so tired from trying to keep her mind intact that she was ready to crawl into bed and sleep for a week. She didn’t know what she would have done without Sandra meeting her between classes.
But Sandra would not always be there. And that was exactly the case at lunchtime. To make matters worse, Lily didn’t have her lunch and had no choice but to try the cafeteria.
The corridor was mostly empty when she had finished talking to her teacher about the assignment, and made her way out of the classroom. As she got closer to the busy hub, she wondered what she had been thinking: how would she ever be able to manage the crowd without her best friend’s help?
She had barely taken a step into the room when the feelings hit her so hard she staggered back. She wanted to laugh, cry, high-five, and punch people all at the same time, but above all, she wanted to grab her head in her hands and scream at the top of her lungs for it all to stop.
Crossing the Barrier Page 5
