by L. B. Reyes
Jessica’s face reddened, her reaction confirming Evie’s words.
“We should leave,” Tom said, taking hold of Jessica’s arm.
“No, Nathan, please listen to me,” she pleaded.
I stared at her in disbelief. “Just leave.”
Evelyn turned around in my arms, hugging me after hours of being apart. In those few seconds, I forgot about what just happened with Jessica and hugged Evie back, her small body trembling against mine as another wave of emotions hit her. As angry as I was about the situation and as frustrated as I was with what just happened, holding her like this was all that mattered. I’d be damned if someone else tried to separate us, be it the police or another person.
Including Jessica.
I raised Evelyn’s face, the need to see her too strong to deny. I cupped her face, thankful I could hold her once again. That I would be able to sleep with her in my arms like it was supposed to be.
“I was so scared,” she whispered, unable to keep it together. “I’m so scared…I don’t want them to take you away again.”
“They’re not,” I assured her.
I wouldn’t allow it.
***
To my surprise, when we arrived at the condo, the place was clean. Evie looked over at Carter when she noticed, and immediately, I knew who we had to thank. She remained quite the whole drive home and didn’t speak when we arrived either. I couldn’t say I blamed her, but her silence was deafening.
I told my parents to make themselves welcome, which, knowing them, meant they were going to prepare a meal for us to eat while I showered.
“I’m so tired,” Evie sighed, pulling the dress over her head.
At first, I thought she was going to join me in the shower until I saw her grab sweatpants and a tank top. There was no hiding her pregnant belly anymore. “You should go to bed, rest a bit,” I said, removing the filthy clothes I still wore.
I’d made up my mind to throw it all away.
“I’ll wait for you in bed. I’m just going to close my eyes a little while.”
I nodded, sighing when she closed the door behind her without a further word. Despite feeling the need to stay under the shower head for hours, I hurried, wanting to be with Evelyn and my parents. We went through long hours of uncertainty; Jessica’s actions hadn’t helped at all. That was something I could deal with later.
When I walked back into the bedroom, Evelyn sat on the bed with my phone in her hands. She had a raised eyebrow and chewed on her lip, a nervous habit she had.
“She keeps texting you,” she said softly. I knew what that tone meant, though; she was pissed, and all hell was going to break lose. “Even after I told her to fuck off.”
I suppressed a chuckle. “You did what?”
“I asked her to fuck off. I added the please to be polite, but she doesn’t get it.”
“What exactly did you tell her?” I asked. Evie handed me the phone as she stood, running her hands through her hair.
There were several text messages from Jessica, and then I came across Evelyn’s.
Evelyn: Jessica, I’m going to ask nicely…Please fuck off. Thanks, Evelyn.
Again, more apologies from Jessica but Evie’s only reply was a middle finger emoji.
I dropped the phone on the bed, approaching her and cupping her face in my hands. Her breathing hitched as I leaned down, finally capturing her lips with mine. She sighed, pressing her body against me, hands settling on my bare chest.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” I murmured. “But I’m worried about you.”
She shook her head, biting her lip, eyes meeting mine. “I’m just overwhelmed with everything. I know we need to talk about Derek and Jessica and all the hell we’re going through, but can we not? Not tonight?” Her voice broke at the end again. She did her best to hold herself together, tried to remain strong. It couldn’t have been easy being pregnant and going through all this all at once.
“I need a break from all of this, too,” I replied, pecking her lips once again.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
She waited quietly while I put on my jeans and shirt, her eyes fixed on me as if she couldn’t believe that I was with her. I couldn’t, either.
Heaven.
Being with Evelyn was heaven. Whether we argued or messed around, being with her was the one thing I wanted in this life. It was a blessing having her by my side and my parents alive.
My mom cooked for us, and though I knew Evie hadn’t eaten much before, she still had no appetite.
There are things you don’t appreciate until you’re deprived from them. I’d always valued my family, always cherished Evie. But having been so close to not seeing them in my own home made this moment that much more significant.
I stared at my phone when it rang once again. Jessica was the elephant in the room, and she wasn’t even physically there. I didn’t want to turn off my phone in case Damian called pertaining the case, or any other emergency, but Evelyn wasn’t having it anymore. She took my phone suddenly, shutting it off. My parents both stared at her in shock, and Carter tried not to laugh.
My sweet Evelyn was long gone.
“I think we’ve all had enough of Jessica today, haven’t we?”
Oh shit.
I knew she directed the question to me. I pressed a kiss on her temple, and she seemed to relax, still our family sensed the tension surrounding us. It didn’t take much long after that awkward exchange for everyone to leave.
I was nervous.
A difficult night awaited us, and with the way Evie felt, I knew it was only a matter of time before she exploded.
I wish I knew what she thought and felt, but she’d closed herself off. That was until she curled up in bed next to me, placing her head on my chest, drawing gentle patterns over my skin.
I ran my fingers down her arm, content with having her next to me. Her eyes closed, and it was only a matter of minutes before she was fast asleep. My mind raced with thoughts of everything going on, but as I rested my hand over her belly and felt our baby move, I took a deep breath, forcing the thoughts out of my head.
They were all that mattered.
Chapter 35
Evelyn
The next morning, I awakened with doubts, questioning everything in my life. My personality, each decision…everything that defined me.
I wondered if it would be easier to give up. Nathan looked at me from across the kitchen, seeming to know my head was overcrowded with a never-ending amount of thoughts. My gaze finally met his, and I asked the question that had been bothering me for the past few hours.
“Am I really that easy to be taken advantage of?”
He raised his eyebrows, setting down the pan he was about to use to cook us breakfast. His head tilted to the side as he considered what to say. Words seemed fail him, however, so instead I continued.
“It seems like it’s pretty easy…take advantage of the girl that sees the good in everything, take advantage of the girl who will be there for you,” I said mockingly.
Everything about our situation was driving me insane. I was tired of the constant lies, so tired to the extent that I wondered whether it was I who was in the wrong. Trying to see the good in the world was the way that I kept going; I saw so much hopelessness on the streets, so much hatred in the news. I didn’t want to live in fear, thinking that everyone was evil or out to hurt me.
But it was time I changed that.
It was time for me to be like everyone else and believe this world would always be a shitty place in which there were no loyalties and all you had was yourself.
“Derek got close to me in order to hurt me,” I scoffed, shaking my head.
And stupid little Evie had taken an immediate liking to him.
“Jessica.” Nathan tensed, waiting for whatever I was going to say. “I knew the minute I met her that she had feelings for you. Despite what people may think, I’m not stupid, Nathan. I saw through her little friendsh
ip facade, I tried to get along with her because she’s your friend, but I can’t. Not anymore.”
He scratched the back of his head. He was uncomfortable with the path the conversation was taking. Either that or he truly didn’t know what to say.
“Any other woman would have told her to back off from the minute she saw Jessica’s true feelings, but you know what I did? I told her to talk to you.”
Nathan raised his eyebrows. “You did what?”
“I felt bad for her, and I trust you, so I thought, Why not let her get that off her chest? Another one of my stupid moves.” I held on to the island tightly, my knuckles turning white with my strength. I was furious. “I waved at her, and your mother told her we were going to find a parking spot. The bitch answered, ‘Okay, we’ll wait here.’ Bullshit. She just wanted me to see her kissing you. Why the fuck was she there anyway?”
“Damian called Tom, and she happened to be with him.”
“Of course she did,” I hissed. “I don’t want her around anymore, Nathan. I don’t want her near us. I don’t want her working with you. I’m sure if you would have made it to dinner that night with her, she would have tried something else.”
Taken aback, Nathan nearly flinched with my words. I laughed humorlessly, rolling my eyes.
“Now you’re the one being naive if you don’t think she would have taken advantage of having you alone with her.”
With a nod, Nathan agreed, his gray eyes troubled for just a moment. “So basically, you want me to end the partnership with her?”
“Yes.”
“What about Derek?” he asked. There was no accusation in his tone, and though I wanted to immediately jump into defensive mode, I stopped myself, shrugging as he continued. “What are you going to do about him?”
“Well, he’s nearly dead, so I can’t really do anything, now can I?”
Bitterness.
The words tasted bitter, they felt wrong, and they hurt. To my surprise, Nathan’s gaze softened, and he took a few steps toward me, bringing his hands to my neck. Eyes roaming my face, he uttered a single word.
“Stop.”
I grit my teeth together so hard I was surprised that they didn’t crack. My hands were by my side now, fisted as I tried to hold on to the anger.
“This, you’re trying to be a hateful person that you’re not. This isn’t you.”
I tried to look away, but he stopped me, holding my face still in his hands. In that moment, I almost hated him for knowing me so well.
“Being me hasn’t helped,” I stated. “I keep getting burned, keep getting laughed at behind my back. Being good has given me nothing—”
“Being good has given you everything.” He coated the words with disbelief, emphasizing how he felt. “You’ve been through a lot of shit, Evelyn, and there will be more shit coming our way, as a couple and as individuals. But that’s where you must stand up and show everyone that despite the problems, despite the pain, you are still you, and you’re stronger than everything.”
I shook my head. “Nathan, I am weak.”
“What you see as weakness I see as something worthy of admiring,” he whispered. “You’re strong and you’re good. You have a heart of gold, and that’s why I love you, Evelyn. I know you’re angry, and you have all the right to be; be angry, be sad, that’s fine. But don’t pretend that what’s happening with Derek doesn’t affect you. Don’t pretend like you’ve given up on him, because I know you better than that.”
“You don’t even care about him, so why are you even…why are you even trying to comfort me?” I asked the stupid question already knowing his answer.
“Because I care about you.” He caressed my face tenderly, unknowingly soothing the ache I felt. “You need to tell me the full story, and I hope you do today, but for now I want you to relax or get what you feel out. You don’t have to change anything about yourself, Evie. The world is a fucked-up place; people like you are the ones that bring out the good in it. That’s what our child should learn.”
I tried to look away, to run from those eyes that had me spellbound, but he didn’t allow me. “Don’t hide from me, Evelyn.”
“You can’t go back to jail.” The uncertainty of that night hurt.
“I won’t.”
“If Derek accused you, then we can deal with that, but you can’t go back.”
“I’m not going to, Evie. That was the worst,” he whispered. “Knowing I was in there and that you were alone out here, trying to figure out what to do, was…”
He swallowed, and for the first time since I met him, there was vulnerability in his eyes. He’d been just as frightened, even more. I brought my hands to his face, then let it tangle in his dark locks while he pressed his forehead against my own.
“I didn’t know if I was getting out of there, Evelyn.”
The tears I was trying to keep at bay bubbled over. My heart ached for us, for Nathan. We’d been through so much lately, and I’d been so focused on my pain, I didn’t think about his. He had to be hurting too.
I stood on my toes, pressing my lips against his and kissing him softly. Peace ran its course through my veins, calming every nerve that had been on edge for the past hours. Our hearts beat to the same crazy rhythm.
I scolded myself in that moment.
How could I want to change?
He loved me for who I was. He loved this crazy, pregnant woman who loved too much, who felt too much. He cherished me, had never judged me for being who I was.
As if reading my mind, he broke this kiss and whispered against my lips the sweetest words. “You’re perfect the way you are.”
Nathan wrapped his arms around me and held me there in the middle of the kitchen as we both tried to ease out of the dark place we were in. Deep in my heart, I knew these were the trying times we would look back on when we were old and wrinkly in a nursing home. We’d look back at them with fondness, knowing that in the end this made us stronger. This was a story our kids would hear to give them hope and strength when they went through a rough spot, when they didn’t think that they could get out of a difficult situation.
Between us, our biggest motivation let us know that we weren’t alone with a kick.
Nathan chuckled, kissing me yet again while caressing my bump. “We’ll get out of this together, okay?”
If we had each other, we could get through anything.
After eating breakfast together, which ended up being my preferred cereal and catching up on more sleep, Nathan and I spent most of the day with the TV on yet not paying attention to it. We talked and talked about our plans or we just laid in silence, memorizing the feel of each other’s touch.
“I’m going to talk to Jessica.” I hummed, picking at the t-shirt he wore. “I’ll see if I can sell my part or something…I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.”
“I feel bad about this.” The last thing I wanted was for him to give up his dream. Nathan worked hard to get to where he was, and for him to give it up hurt.
“It’s not your fault, but you’re right. I can’t work with her if she’s going to pull stunts like this. My relationship with you comes first. I can find a job anywhere.”
“You always do so much for me.”
When I was younger, I always thought that finding love was as simple as loving someone and having them love you back.
With Nathan, I learned I was completely wrong.
When I found love, I found the person who accepted me for me. He chose to evolve and grow with me. I’d found my peace in the middle of war, my glimmer of hope when surrounded by darkness.
The silence surrounding us came to a sudden end when my phone started ringing. I groaned, standing up to begin the search for the device that dared interrupt the calmness surrounding us. Nathan smacked my ass playfully as I walked away, keeping his eyes glued to me in such a loving manner it took all my effort not jump on him.
“Who is it, babe?” Nathan asked.
Without warning, my hand trembled at the fami
liar phone number, one I hadn’t seen in a very long time. At the lack of response, Nathan stood up, walking in my direction with caution. I swallowed, forcing a small smile. “Give me a minute?”
He frowned but nodded.
Knowing I was going to need time alone after the answering the phone call, I made my way to the balcony, taking a deep breath.
“This is a call from an inmate from Pennsylvania State Prison. Do you wish to proceed?”
No.
Yes.
I don’t know.
I made my choice and waited. I heard a sigh, whether of relief or not I couldn’t tell until I heard her voice.
“Hey, little sis…I think it’s time we have a talk.”
Chapter 36
Evelyn
I’d gone mute.
Sure, I’d seen Hannah at my mother’s funeral, but to hear her voice, to have this one on one conversation through the phone, was too much. Every emotion possible I felt. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
This is what insanity feels like.
To talk the person that had caused so much harm was difficult. I didn’t hate her; I didn’t think I ever could. I forgave her even though she would never ask for forgiveness, but that didn’t mean that the damage wasn’t there.
“Evie, did you disconnect?”
It pierced. It was like she’d stabbed a knife in my chest and then twisted.
It hurt.
“No,” I said, doing my best attempt to hide the vulnerability in my voice. “I’m still here.”
I’m still here.
Those words held a deeper meaning than I was willing to admit. I was still there. As terrified as I was of her hurting me, I knew that if she ever came around, I’d be there.
Did that make me stupid?
Her voice interrupted the thoughts running through my head. “How are you? Are you doing okay?”
