by L. B. Reyes
“He’s not speaking yet, and the doctors are already running several tests on him,” Damian continued, the background noise of what I assumed to be the hospital becoming louder. “The police are already here, and we hope to have him talking within a few hours, but first the doctors need to check that he’s fine.”
“Thank God,” I muttered, running a hand over my face. “It’s almost over.”
“Yes, it is. You go ahead and tell Evelyn, too. I’m sure she’ll want to know.”
I scoffed. The irony of the situation.
I would have given anything to have Evie around, even if it was to discuss Derek. “Thanks, Damian.”
“Sure,” he stated. He paused for a moment, and I knew there was more that he wanted to say. “I don’t know what your situation with Derek is, but I do know that you all need to discuss it. You are expecting a child with Evelyn, and it’s clear that she cares about him. It’s in everyone’s best interest for this to be resolved, and quick.”
“I know.”
“Let me know if you need anything, all right?”
Everyone stared at me after I hung up, anxiously waiting for what I was going to say. There was no point in keeping them in the dark when they would find out anyway.
“Derek has woken up,” I stated. My mom squealed, standing up and hugging my father in relief. I couldn’t help but chuckle; I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like if my kids ever had a problem like that.
Evie.
“He still needs to talk to the cops, but Damian is sure everything should be cleared up by tomorrow.”
“Oh, that’s great,” she said, walking up to me and giving me a hug. “You see? Everything is starting to get better.”
When I was younger, I used to believe everything they said, and even as an adult I trusted my parents more than anything. However, in that moment, I wasn’t sure that I could trust those words of certainty that left my mother’s lips.
***
The sun set, and Evie hadn’t once called or answered my messages. I’d already bought Carter’s plane ticket for the next few hours as my worry grew.
I couldn’t fucking deal.
My parents, who had remained calm until then, were now concerned, wondering if Evelyn was okay.
It wasn’t typical for her not to communicate with anyone at least to let us know that she was okay. There was nothing else I could regret more than leaving Evie alone.
“Do you want to call the cops?” Tom asked, placing a hand over my shoulder.
“They won’t do anything unless it’s been a certain number of hours,” I countered, frustrated and nervous. The anxiety grew by the second.
“Not if we tell them what’s been going on with Derek. I’m sure it’s in the records,” Carter commented. He was right.
Maybe it was an overreaction and Evie would be angry if I involved the police, but I had to do something. I needed to at least know that she was okay, even if she didn’t want to see anyone or be with me.
I started to dial, my hand shaking with the fear of finding out that something had happened to her, when there was a knock at the door. Rushing, I threw my phone, not caring where it fell, and opened it.
“Evie…” Her appearance was shocking.
Her eyes were swollen, red. Face splotchy, her lips tilted down. She seemed pained, a type of pain I couldn’t describe, but I saw it written all over her expression. The woman I loved was torn, destroyed and shattered. All I could do was look at her, because she’d built a wall around herself to protect herself from any more heartbreak.
“You never told me about Derek and Hannah,” she whispered, hardly even able to get the words out. Her eyes were watery, her voice hoarse.
She shifted her attention from me, to Carter. He looked at her with the same hurt expression. I could see him swallow and tense as if a silent communication passed through them.
“Did you know?” were the three words Evelyn uttered.
Whatever she was talking about, it was clear that he understood. He gave her a single nod, and instantly, I heard Evie’s sharp intake of breath, like a kick to the stomach, and she couldn’t breathe. My heart stilled as I saw her knees buckle, and the most wounded cry left her lips.
I caught her quickly, wrapping my arm around her waist. Her hands grabbed my shirt as if it was the only support she had. Sob after sob wracked her body, each one more intense than the other, so much that I was sure she was going to pass out.
“Baby, Evie what’s wrong?” I murmured, hearing my voice thick with emotion. I couldn’t see; my vision had become blurry at seeing Evelyn so distraught.
I heard Carter behind me, regretful. “I’m so sorry, Evelyn.”
“Tell them all to leave,” Evie hiccupped. “I need everyone to leave, please…I’m begging you.”
The desperation.
“I think it’s time for everyone to go,” I said, not sparing anyone a glance.
Within a few minutes, everyone left, but Evie’s crying hadn’t ceased at all. I shut the door behind us, still holding her close to me.
I’d seen her sad; I’d seen her wrecked.
But I’d never seen her so hopeless.
“Baby,” I whispered, cupping her face in my hands. “What happened?”
She squeezed her eyes shut as I rested my forehead against hers, my thumbs tracing the outline of her cheekbones, capturing the endless tears that kept flowing without any sign of stopping.
“Evie, tell me—”
She stopped me, tilting her head up, her longing lips locking with mine. Desperate. Tormented. Her arms wrapped around my neck, pressing her body as close to mine as she could.
“We need to talk,” I whispered against her lips.
She shook her head, opening her eyes to look up to my own. “I can’t,” Evie replied, voice breaking. “Please, I don’t want to.”
“What do you need?” I asked, hoping to find a way to help her.
It was as if the question was another kick to her stomach; she breathed in, breaking into another sob. Evie was no longer in control of her emotions; I saw it clearly then. But her words, they took my breath away.
“I need someone to love me,” she cried.
I kissed her, knowing this time words wouldn’t be enough.
I didn’t know if they would ever be enough again.
Chapter 44
Evelyn
I never knew kisses could be magical.
Nathan’s lips moved with mine hungrily, as if with it the pain would disappear. My hands tugged at his shirt, not breaking the kiss even as I unbuttoned it.
There was nothing I needed more in that moment than to feel him against me, his hands on my skin, his body against mine. The safety of his arms around me. I felt like I was falling, falling without stopping into a dark hole I wasn’t sure I would be able to crawl out of. It kept pulling me in, its grip too tight to fight.
Love me.
His gaze met mine, desperate and longing, like this was all he’d been waiting to do all day. He pulled off his shirt, his lips falling on mine once again as if he couldn’t stay away from me. Nate was just as heartbroken as I was, his teeth nipping at my lips passionately while he walked backwards, his hands also working with the jeans I wore. Soon I stepped out of them, straddling Nathan on the sofa, my legs on each side of his body.
The place didn’t matter; the only thing I could think of was forgetting my pain, the fucking ache that was taking over every cell in my body. His arms surrounded me tightly, trying to shield me from my feelings.
He broke off the kiss, his lips brushing my cheek softly, a quiet sigh escaping as he felt the tears that were still there. I savored the contact of him against my skin, the soothing effect traveling through my veins and settling in each one of the pieces of my broken heart.
I whimpered as his hands traveled under my shirt, and he pulled it over my head, unclasping my bra immediately. He looked at me for a moment with an emotion I couldn’t place; I let out a ragged breath as
my fingers rested on his hard chest. His hesitation frightened me. Did he not want me?
Need me.
My eyes fluttered closed when he began placing warm kisses on my neck, the type that send shivers down your spine and goosebumps all throughout your body, the type that makes you forget about anything and everything but that precise moment.
My hips bucked against him, feeling the effects of what he did to me, but he paid no mind to it, his sole focus to pleasure me.
Nathan’s hands explored my body tentatively, as if afraid that I’d break, but what he didn’t know was that with every one of his caresses, he healed me. He made me feel precisely what I needed. Gasping, I threw my head back while his hands roamed lower and lower, his grip tightening around the lace panties I wore, and he pulled, the material giving way to his strength immediately.
“I love you,” he whispered in my ear, the words reserved only for me. It was like a quiet confession, like he was telling me his deepest secret and he wanted it engraved in my mind. “You’re the only woman I’ll ever love.”
I moaned softly, wanting to tell him how much I loved him too, but stopped when I felt his hand between us, working on the zipper of his pants. I moved aside just briefly so he could lower his clothing and shuddered when the most intimate parts of our body made contact.
Our mouths met once again, this time Nathan taking every bit of control away from me as his tongue slipped inside, just as I sank on to him, and I moaned, unable to help myself. I leaned my forehead against his, my eyes meeting his while he stilled my hips, not allowing me to move.
Remember this.
Those eyes, eyes that had captured me, eyes that had enamored me…eyes that said everything that words couldn’t fixed on mine, pleading me to remember this, that moment in which it was only us. They told me to forget the pain, to forget the hurt.
They reminded me we were one.
With a groan deep in the back of his throat, Nathan thrusted upwards, and I buried my face in his neck. I squeezed my eyes shut, concentrating on the feel of our bodies moving slowly against each other, dancing together to the perfect rhythm, connected in the most intimate way.
Our mingled sounds of pleasure filled the room while our crazy hearts beat in sync.
His hand went to the back of my head, gripping my hair and pulling my face back. I didn’t open my eyes, instead letting myself just feel. His thrusts increased, and I met each one, hoping he felt the intensity of emotions that ran through my veins.
I threw my head back, my mouth opening in a silent moan as overwhelming pleasure consumed me, Nathan’s hands gripping my hips with force as my peak drew out his own.
I collapsed against Nathan with exhaustion. His arms traveled around me, his fingers drawing a soothing pattern on my back while our breathing returned to normal. He held me silently, his lips pressed at the top of my head, kissing me every now and then, reminding me that he loved me.
***
“No, she’s fine,” I heard Nathan answer as he spoke to the person on the other line. “I’ll let you know, Carter. Good night.”
The feeling of betrayal crept back to into my system when I heard his name. He knew. I tried to push back the dull ache, but despite the love he felt for me, I couldn’t avoid the hurt.
Everything had been a lie.
Part of me could understand why he hadn’t said anything, but being lied to my whole life was something I couldn’t comprehend.
“He’s worried about you,” Nathan murmured, sitting next to me on the bed. He brushed my hair back, his concerned gaze meeting my own. My throat closed, and I gulped, trying to avoid the overwhelming emotions that threatened to take over once again.
“I’m fine,” I replied, leaning into his touch, the only source of comfort I could find.
“Don’t lie to me.” Sadness laced his words, like he felt everything that I did. Was it possible our connection was so strong he could feel my pain and heartache? Could he feel it even if he didn’t know?
Did he know?
“Other than the Derek and Hannah thing, are you hiding anything else from me?”
Nathan shook his head. “Baby, the Derek with Hannah thing was their business. I couldn’t tell you because your problems with Hannah were already too big, and finding out that she’d had an affair would have disappointed you even further. I didn’t want that for you.”
Little did he know that his attempts to protect me had been useless.
“But that’s not what this is about, Evie,” he said, tilting my head up when I tried to avoid looking at him. “There’s something else going on, isn’t there?”
I nodded, biting my lip to stop myself from crying. The tears were unavoidable, however, and he wiped one away, waiting for me to speak. “I can’t talk about it,” I breathed.
“Why?” he whispered.
“Because if I say it out loud, it means it’s all true, and I’m not sure I’m ready to face it yet.”
As always, Nathan understood. He pulled me to his chest and embraced me, his heartbeat a lullaby to my anxious mind. It always had a calming effect on me. He always had this effect on me.
He mended my broken heart.
“You need to eat something.”
My lips tilted up slightly. He was always so concerned. “I’m not sure I can.”
“Have you eaten anything at all?”
“Just before I got to the prison.”
He shook his head. “Baby, that was hours ago. I’m going to get you something.”
Nate pulled away from me, and immediately I gripped his arm. Perhaps it was irrational, but I didn’t want to be alone. Not because I was afraid that I’d do something stupid, but because I needed the safety of his presence. He smiled, understanding, and wrapped his arm over my shoulders, the other hand falling on my belly.
“I was worried,” he sighed.
We walked over to the kitchen, and I didn’t miss Nathan’s smirk when he saw me sit down at the table, only wearing his shirt.
“Cereal?” he asked, already reaching for my favorite kind. As if on cue, my tummy growled loud enough for Nathan to hear, and I smiled shyly. Nathan chuckled, his eyes sparkling, the sight of a relaxed me easing some of his worry.
“What did you do today?” I asked, swinging my feet.
I saw him tense. “To be honest? Nothing. I couldn’t get anything done because I didn’t know how you were.” Nathan turned around to face me, setting the gallon of milk on the counter. He pinched the bridge of his nose before sighing and continuing. “I have some news I think you’ll like.”
“What is it?”
“Derek is awake.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“He woke up earlier today. Damian texted me saying I need to be there tomorrow, and you too. He wants to talk to both of us, and you know…tell the cops what happened.”
While I was immensely happy that he was awake finally, I knew I couldn’t face him just yet. I was a coward and too scared.
“I can’t.” I shook my head. “I’m glad he’s awake, but I can’t.”
Nathan frowned. “I was sure you’d want to go.”
“I do, Nate. But I need a few days to just get it together. All I want right now is to be with you, not anyone else, please. Can we do that? Just a few days so I can tell you what’s going on. Maybe you’ll be able to help me put everything in order.”
It must have been the desperation in my voice, but he nodded, handing me the bowl with cereal.
“We’ll do whatever you need,” he agreed, placing a kiss on my forehead.
***
The next morning, I woke up to the delicious smell of bacon. I assumed Nathan moved stuff around in the kitchen, and immediately, some of the sadness in my heart was replaced with never-ending love for the man I was to marry. I knew he only had about an hour before he had to leave, so I took a quick shower to wash away the nastiness of the day before and hopefully start the day with a clear mind.
It wasn’t going away, t
hough.
There was a dull ache, this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. My baby moved like crazy, like he or she could feel it too. That should have been my first sign. I blamed it all on the things that I’d learned; surely, there was no way that I could feel normal with everything I had found out.
Hannah.
Was this about her?
Something in the way she said goodbye left me feeling uneasy. It almost seemed like a permanent one, and I couldn’t lose her—not after everything she had told me. I decided I’d call the prison as soon as Nathan left.
I needed to talk to her. I had this desperate need to hear her and know that she was okay. We had all fucked up and made mistakes, and in no way did I resent her. I could tell it had been difficult for her to tell me the truth.
After throwing on some clothes, I untangled my crazy hair before I met Nathan out in the kitchen. He smiled and kissed me deeply, his hand resting on my neck.
“Good morning, pretty girl.”
“Mm, morning,” I murmured. “Eat with me?”
“It’ll have to be fast, Evie,” he whispered, glancing down at the time regretfully. “I have to meet with Damian in less than an hour, and the traffic will be crazy.”
I pouted. “It’s okay, babe,” I murmured against his lips, running my fingers through his hair. He always looked so handsome, and yet in that moment, something told me to memorize him, to memorize everything about him. The way he looked at me, the way he kissed me.
“Go,” I said. “Once you’re back home, I think I’ll be ready to talk.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes. I must start by telling you. You’re the one person I trust more than anyone else.”
“I know, Evie.” Proud, he leaned down and kissed me again, this time a bit more feverishly. “And I appreciate that more than anything.”
Though part of me wanted to believe we were going to be okay, uncertainty took over.
I couldn’t do away with that feeling.
Left alone, I tried not to dwell on my thoughts. There were many things I needed to sort out in my head before he returned, just so I could tell the full story without breaking down.
