by L. B. Reyes
“What?” Derek asked, completely awake now. “Deborah’s what?”
My eyes filled with tears. “Her cancer is back. It’s pretty bad.”
“Oh no…” He pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly, but I took a step back.
“Hang on. Just give me a minute,” I said. “This whole thing—situation—as weird as it sounds, it’s given me clarity, Derek.” I placed my hand over his chest, his heart, feeling the steady beat. “I want to be with you, not just for now but forever because you…you make me a better person. I’ve fucked up, made mistakes, but you are the one thing I’ll never regret. I want everything with you.”
“Hannah,” he whispered, a small smile on his lips. “You know I feel the same.”
“I want a wedding,” I blurted out, my voice breaking. “I want a family, kids, everything. No excuses.”
His green eyes studied me, his gaze thorough, the warmth in it palpable. I was scared until he took my face in his hands and pressed his lips tenderly with mine. “I love you, Hannah.”
“I love you too,” I whispered.
He sighed, brushing my hair back. “We can start with one of your many requests now, if you want.”
“What?”
I squealed when he lifted me up over his shoulder, and I felt him laughing as he carried me to the bedroom. Derek laid me down on the bed, pulling off the sweatpants he wore.
“We can definitely practice making those babies.”
Chapter 34
Derek
Hannah walked around the apartment wearing just my shirt, a cup of coffee in her hands. Her eyes studied the living room until they settled on the empty space over the fireplace. She was starting to get more and more comfortable with me now, and it showed.
The last thing I thought when she arrived was that she was going to be ready for everything she mentioned. She used to cower away. Now the words “marriage” and “family” rolled off her tongue like it was second nature. I thought she’d wake up feeling weird about it, but to my surprise, her first words were about bringing in the items she had left at Evelyn’s house.
“You need some color here,” she said, taking a sip of the coffee she’d prepared for us. Though her back was to me, I could hear the smile on her face. “We could put some flowers over the fireplace, and you are in desperate need of a TV. It’s so dull now. You need a little more brightness. Or we could go look at the pieces in Nathan’s gallery. I’m sure we’ll find something there.”
I hummed, agreeing with whatever it was she said. Truthfully, I didn’t care. Any place would be dark and dull without her in it. As long as she was with me, my life would be colorful.
“I was actually thinking of buying a house,” I said, knowing that would catch her attention.
She turned around quickly, somehow managing to not spill the liquid still in the cup. “Why a house?”
I shrugged, trying to pretend the words hadn’t made me fucking nervous. Hannah was different, yes, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t easily frightened. Living together was already a big step, so was the decision of eventually having children, but buying a house together…I knew it would scare her.
“I figure, if we’re doing this whole thing, we need a bigger place.” I stood up, eyeing the apartment. It’d been my house for a while, but the place didn’t seem like enough anymore. I wanted to offer her what she deserved. “We need a bedroom, for us obviously. We need a bedroom for guests, especially now that Evie and Nathan will have two kids. We need a bedroom for our hypothetical children—because we know there will at least be two, right?”
Hannah nodded, a beautiful red color taking over her cheeks, even her ears.
“Well…that’s at least two more bedrooms. I think it’s better to start the house search now, before the kids come along, right? Besides we also need a piano room for you.”
A nervous laugh escaped, and I knew she didn’t know how to react to that. So I waited. Because as much as I wanted to hug her and tell her I’d give her anything she wanted, I needed to know that she knew what she wanted. There were layers to her, layers I still had to do away with to keep her from hiding away.
“We don’t need a piano room, Derek. It’s…I mean…it was a one-time thing at the restaurant. I haven’t really played in a while, so…”
“Do you not want one?” I asked.
Her mouth opened and closed a few times. “There wouldn’t be time.”
She’s holding back.
“Time for what?”
She brought the cup of coffee to her lips, taking much longer than necessary to drink it. In fact, I was sure it was already empty, and she was just thinking of what to say or how to avoid the question.
“You know, to play.” She cleared her throat, setting the cup on an end table by the sofa, her eyes staying on it as she spoke. “I mean, both of us will be working. If we have kids, then who knows? You know? There’s no time.”
There’s no time.
I didn’t want to dance around the question, didn’t want to avoid it because I knew, I just knew, this was what had been ingrained in her head at a young age. We needed that thought to disappear.
“Is that what your mother used to tell you?”
Her mouth fell open, but she remained in her spot without moving or speaking. Her eyes were full of pain, pain I never intended to cause. These were things we’d eventually have to address, though, and little by little we would. I took a step toward her, taking a strand of her hair in my hands.
Hannah’s gaze met mine, and with a sad smile, she replied, “She always said we should focus on what was important, that I shouldn’t waste my time on something so pointless and stupid.” She shrugged but wasn’t able to hide the hurt in her expression. “It’s okay. I can live without playing again.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” I murmured, holding her face in my hands. “And if you want ten pianos, I want you to have them.”
“Derek, I—”
“She’s not here anymore.” The whispered words had more impact than I thought they would. She felt guilty for it, but a sense of relief washed over her that completely drowned out any type of sadness previously there. “I know she’s your mother. I know you love her. But she’s not here to hold you back anymore. You can do whatever you like, babe. If you want to play the piano, you can play the piano. If you want to travel the world, you can do that. It’s not all work anymore. I don’t care if you work or decide to stay home with the kids. I don’t care if you decide to go back to school and study something different. I don’t care what you do as long as you’re happy. The rest doesn’t matter. Whatever you do, I want you to do it for you.”
“Yeah?”
I smiled back at her. “So, do you want a piano?”
Slowly, her eyes lit up with the idea and her mouth stretched to a full-blown grin.
It would take time to get the idea that everything she did was to please her mother out of her head, but we’d work on it. Together. I’d stand by her to reminder her she didn’t need anyone’s approval; all she needed was her own.
“It has to be white,” she said. I looked at her in question, and soon she explained. “It has to be a white, grand piano. I would love for it to be an antique, but if it’s not possible, that’s fine. And I want a piano room where we can go and relax, maybe teach the kids one day if they want to learn.”
I nodded, already picturing her in our house, her piano room with her eyes closed and playing the piano just like she had at the restaurant. Her expression peaceful. Happy.
“And I want two kids,” she said, biting her lip. I raised my eyebrows in surprise but didn’t stop her. “I want a boy and a girl, but I’d also love to have two little girls.”
“Two sisters?”
“Yeah.” She smiled. “Two sisters who are there for each other. Two sisters who grow up loving each other unconditionally. But I’ll be happy with whatever we have, as long as they’re healthy.”
She reached up, kissing me. She tasted of c
offee and heaven. Her soft body pressed against mine, my hands roaming her curves, never wanting the moment to end.
Hannah smiled against my lips, tugging at my boxers. I did the same to the shirt that covered her, earning a soft laugh from her. “If I’m going to be naked, so should you,” I whispered.
She didn’t hesitate in undoing every button, her eyes sparkling with mischief. She got rid of her panties quickly and stood completely naked in front of me.
Hannah was a sight for sore eyes.
The way her body unconsciously reacted to my eyes taking her in was mesmerizing. I picked her up, wrapping her legs around my waist while I kissed her, setting her down on the sofa. Eager, Hannah pulled down my boxers, and I sank into her, engraving her pleasured gasp in my memory.
***
Hannah and I walked into the restaurant hand in hand. I wasn’t planning on working that day, but since Hannah had given me the news about her father accepting the job, I wanted to officially meet the man and assess the situation.
The last thing I wanted was to have her father around if he was going to hurt her. She was doing well without him, but I couldn’t blame her. She still loved him very much.
“Evie wants us to all get together over the weekend,” she said, interrupting my train of thought. “She wants all of us to meet at Deborah’s place.”
I nodded, placing a kiss at the tip of her nose. “Sounds good, baby.”
Cat spoke with a man who I immediately recognized. I’d seen pictures of him many times when he was younger, however I never thought I’d see him in person. His eyes fell on Hannah first and then down to our joined hands before he looked at me.
Ironically, I was fucking nervous.
I had no clue why. It didn’t matter what he thought about our relationship, I’d still be with her no matter what, but I knew what it meant to Hannah. She took a deep breath, muttering, “Here goes nothing,” quietly.
Cat excused herself when she saw us approaching, leaving the three of us alone.
“Hello,” I said, tightening my hold on Hannah’s hand. I didn’t know who I tried to reassure, her or myself. “You must be Charles.”
He forced a small smile, extending his hand to me. “I’m Derek Hensley,” I introduced myself.
“The owner?” he said, once again his eyes fixed on his daughter’s hand in mine.
Hannah cleared her throat. “And my boyfriend. He’s, uh, my boyfriend.”
Her dad snorted, running a hand over his face. “So you offered me a job because she’s my daughter?”
I shrugged. No point in lying. “In part, yes. But it’s what I do. I try to help and give back to the community. Most of the people here have difficult pasts, have been in jail or faced some type of addiction, so what I do is give them a job. Show them they don’t have to go back to their troubled pasts. Figured I could do the same for you. Hannah’s your daughter. Even more reason to help you.”
With a sigh of relief, Hannah spoke up once again. “You don’t have to work here if you don’t want, but I think this a good starting point.”
I didn’t give him a chance to think of any excuses. “Hannah can train you.” Her face turned to me, shocked. “She’s more than qualified, and if she’s comfortable doing it, I don’t see a reason why she can’t. Now, I’m going to leave you to discuss this. If you don’t agree, Blake can do the training, okay? I’ll be in the office.”
I pecked her lips and gave him one final nod before going to the office. I wasn’t even at the door yet when I heard Lisa’s voice, angry and desperate. And then I heard another voice, Blake’s, also speaking loudly.
In the time I’d known him, I couldn’t remember ever hearing him pissed off, except he was. I burst in, only to find them both standing as if in a face-off, Lisa’s expression pissed beyond words. She saw me and ran her hands through her hair, her eyes full of tears.
“What the hell is going on?” I said, looking between them both.
Blake spoke first, his tone laced with exasperation. “Ask her. Call me whenever you’ve got that shit resolved. I’m leaving.”
I stopped him. “What the fuck is going on? Why the hell is she crying?”
Lisa cleared her throat. “I’m not,” she sniffled. “Let him leave.”
Without a further word, Blake left, slamming the door behind him. Lisa sighed, and I knew her well enough to know she needed a minute to breathe. I waited until she seemed more in control.
When she looked up at me, though, her eyes filled with tears once again, and this time she hugged me, crying desperately into my shoulder. They weren’t sad tears; they were angry tears.
“What’s wrong?” I asked softly, running my hand up and down her back.
I’d never seen her so sad. So frustrated. Lisa was the type of person who took things with ease, never worried unless it was completely necessary.
“Lis, what’s going on?”
She shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Derek. I’m so, so sorry.”
Chapter 35
Hannah
The last time we’d all been together this way was Evie’s birthday. Things were different then. I’d just gotten out of jail; I was ashamed and unsure of everything in my life.
I was different.
There was no other way to put it. We’d all come a long way. I sat next to Carter, who watched Evie and Derek talk happily, his hand on her belly. He’d been stressed over problems at the restaurant, but being with the family seemed to relax him a little.
Every time I asked him what was going on, he’d shrug the question off, pretending everything was okay. But I knew it wasn’t. Things between Lisa and him were tense. They barely spoke, and each time I asked one of them about it, they changed the subject. All I could do was be there for them as a mutual friend.
“Days like this are nice,” Carter said with a small smile. He fixed his gaze on Nathan, cooking something on the grill. Derek and Evie approached him, and Evie said something that caused them both to burst into laughter. The sight made me smile.
“They are,” I whispered.
He placed his hand over mine, squeezing it tenderly. He’d dedicated his whole life to us; Evie was doing the right thing by taking care of him. We owed him a lot. He’d been with our grandmother. He’d been with us. Even if I never acknowledged him before as part of the family, he’d rightfully earned the title of family member.
I rested my head on his shoulder, catching him by surprise. I’d never done it before.
“I’m happy I get to fix things with you,” I whispered. “I didn’t get the chance with Nana, but I do get it with you.”
He sighed, resting his head over mine. “She knew you were just a lost soul, Hannah. We both knew. She had hope, you know?”
“I thought you hated me,” I commented, looking up at him.
He chuckled, squeezing my arm. “Ah, I didn’t approve of the decisions you made, but I watched you grow up. I saw you more than your own father did. I always watched out for you and your sister.” Carter looked over at Evie and then down at me. His gaze was soft, blue eyes that sparkled with so much care. “You can’t hate the closest thing you have to daughters.”
I didn’t want to cry, but his words meant more than I could explain. I’d lost my mother and Nana without ever being able to resolve things, but I had a chance with Carter, and I was going to take it. Maybe, just maybe, I would get to have two fathers instead of one.
The calm talk lasted only a few minutes. Lily rushed over with a smile, clearly eager to give us whatever message she had.
“Aunt Hannah, Mommy says you should go with your boyfriend.”
I looked up, and sure enough, Derek sat near the lake, to my surprise with a beer can in his hand. It didn’t seem to be open, but the sight of him holding it threw me off. Evie was talking to Nathan, but I saw her eyes fixed on Derek with concern.
“Okay,” I said to Lily, kissing her forehead. Oblivious to what could be happening, she went on to talk to Carter about how she was plann
ing on swimming in the lake.
I approached Derek slowly, noticing how tense he appeared. Wounded. It was a frightening sight. I wasn’t sure what I needed to say or why exactly he was even holding the damn thing in his hand. I sat next to him, pulling my knees up to my chest.
He didn’t even turn to look at me.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
His jaw clenched and unclenched, but his gaze didn’t once leave the beer.
“You can talk to me,” I whispered, lacing my fingers with his. The contact brought him out of whatever trance he was in. Green eyes turned to face me, and they softened, like he’d realized I was there. “Can I have that?” I asked, holding my hand up. He hesitated, but he eventually gave me the beer.
I opened it, pouring the liquid near a tree, and then went back to him, ready to find out what was going on with him. He took my hand in his, and I sat on his lap, nuzzling his neck. “Is this about Lisa?”
He stiffened. “Not exactly.”
“Then what is it?”
Troubled, Derek looked away. It was as if he couldn’t bring himself to say what he wanted to say; the words were lodged in his throat, and saying them aloud would make them a reality. Sometimes keeping things hidden was the only way to keep reality at bay. Whatever this was, it was getting him to the point of relapse. After all he’d accomplished, I couldn’t allow it.
“Are you sure it isn’t Lisa?” I questioned, knowing I was diving into territory I’d never been in before. “I’ve noticed things are…odd between you two.”
His green eyes roamed my face, analyzing. I wasn’t sure what he searched for.
Finally, Derek spoke up. “There’s a lot going on at the restaurant,” he sighed. His fingers caressed my cheek briefly before his lips met mine for a sweet kiss. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’m not going to drink.”
