by Amy Vastine
“When I was little, I used to think that if I ever found you, I would ask you why you left and demand an answer.” He sat down across from her at the table. “I realize now that the reason doesn’t really matter. You left, and no explanation can change the way that shaped who I am today. What I really want to know is why you came back. Because that will help me decide if I’ll let you influence my life moving forward.”
Gretchen averted her eyes and shifted in her seat. She folded and unfolded her hands. “I told you, I came back to stop you from making the same mistakes I made. It would have been a mistake to marry someone you didn’t love because she was pregnant.”
“And for all intents and purposes, you accomplished that goal when Piper called off the wedding, but you’re still here.”
She took a cookie off the plate and broke it into smaller pieces. “Well, I’ve been catching up with Harriet and spending time with Faith.”
“So, another reason you came back was to reconnect with Harriet and Faith. Anything else?”
“It’s not like you want anything to do with me, but I might have come back to get to know you a bit, too.”
“Getting to know me is another reason. Is that correct?”
She nodded.
“Anything else? Do you need money? Are you dying?”
Gretchen’s brow furrowed. “Lord, no. I don’t need your money, and I am healthy as a horse.”
“Is there a reason reconnecting became important to you all of a sudden? Twenty-one years is a long time. You can’t blame me for being suspicious after so much time has passed.”
“I don’t have a good answer. I wanted to talk to you all for years, but I guess hearing you on the radio and reading about you in the news gave me the push I needed to actually do it instead of thinking about it.”
Sawyer was surprised to hear her say she’d wanted to reconnect for so long. He had assumed Gretchen’s reappearance had something to do with his fame, but knowing she had wanted to reconnect him before that was a relief.
“Why not sooner?” Faith asked.
“Your father was a great dad. He knew what to do no matter what you two threw at us. It was like he was born to be a dad.”
Sawyer could only hope to be half as good at parenting as his dad was, but he wasn’t sure what this had to do with his mom staying away.
“We were very lucky to have him,” Faith said.
“Me, on the other hand, I was a terrible mother,” Gretchen continued. “I’m not nurturing. I don’t know what to do when kids cry. I hate bodily fluids. I didn’t want to be a parent, but I loved your dad and he wanted a family. I gave him what he wanted even though I knew I couldn’t rise to the challenge.”
“I don’t remember you being a bad mom,” Faith said. “I remember chasing fireflies and sleep-outs in the summer. I remember how you’d take us to the lake and teach us about nature.”
Gretchen actually smiled. “I’m glad those are the things you remember about me, because I remember locking myself in my room while you were crying until your father came inside. I remember yelling at you both to stop touching me. I remember telling you to make your own dinner when you were like six years old.”
Faith and Sawyer exchanged glances. Sawyer had been way too young to remember that stuff, but Faith had been ten when Gretchen left. She had to recall their mom being so distant.
“I don’t remember any of that,” Faith said. “When Dad and I talked about you, we only talked about the good things. He would tell me stories when I was missing you.”
Gretchen pinched the bridge of her nose and shut her eyes. “That man.” She got up and grabbed the box of tissues on the counter. “That man was a freaking saint.”
Sawyer leaned back in his chair. His dad, a man who had had every reason to bad-mouth Gretchen and paint her as the villain, never had. In fact, he’d done the exact opposite. He’d made sure that the only memories that stuck were the ones that made Sawyer and Faith feel loved.
“I wish I would have figured out how to be present in your lives more. At the time, I thought it was an all or nothing decision. But that was unfair to you two and to your father,” Gretchen said, dabbing her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t come home for his funeral. I should have come and paid my respects, but I didn’t want to cause you two any more grief than you were already dealing with. But your dad was the best man I have ever known. Better than I deserved.”
Sawyer was torn. He had been angry about her not coming, but she was right that her presence would have taken away from their grieving process. Sawyer would miss his father every day for the rest of his life, but he had successfully moved into the acceptance phase. Big John lived on through Sawyer and Faith. Now, it was time for Sawyer to heal the part of his heart that had broken when Gretchen left. The only way to do that was to give her a chance to start over.
Maybe she would let them down, maybe she wouldn’t. Sawyer had to trust that he’d survive either way.
“I have some good news for you,” he said, turning around to face her. “Faith and I don’t need to be parented anymore. We cook our own dinner. Well, Faith is very good at cooking dinner, and I can boil water, which is useful at times.”
“We no longer have issues with crying for no reason or wanting to touch people who don’t want to be touched,” Faith added.
“We’re just really cool people,” Sawyer said. “People you might want to get to know and hang out with sometimes.”
“I’d like that,” Gretchen said as the tears fell a little faster.
“Now, don’t make me go lock myself in my room until you stop crying,” he teased.
Gretchen burst out laughing. “You are an impressive young man.”
“Thank you. I had the best role model in the world.”
“Yes, you did. And he would be very proud of the man you are.”
After everything Sawyer had been through in the last couple months, he felt pretty confident that his dad would have been happy with how he’d chosen to handle everything in the end. He’d made some mistakes, but he had set out to right the wrongs and mend the fences he had mistakenly thought had been destroyed beyond repair.
Nothing was ever lost forever.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
THE FOURTH OF July parade in Grass Lake was one of Sawyer’s favorite events in his hometown. This year he was blessed to be riding alongside his gorgeous fiancée.
“Are you sure you packed enough water bottles?” Piper asked as she moved slowly around the kitchen. At nine months pregnant, she was due to give birth at any moment. In fact, Sawyer was a bit concerned that their little guy was going to make an appearance before they got to be grand marshals of this year’s parade.
“If you drink too much water, you’re going to have to wear a diaper, because they will not stop the parade so you can go to the bathroom.”
Piper scowled at him.
“Be nice to her. She is a woman on the edge,” Faith warned him.
“If she was on the edge of anything, she’d fall in. It’s amazing she can stand upright.”
“Please swat him in the back of the head, Gretchen. I can’t move fast enough to catch him,” Piper said.
Sawyer’s mom rolled up the newspaper she was reading and chased him around the island. “Be nice to her. You have no idea how miserable this part of pregnancy is.”
Sawyer came up behind Piper and wrapped his arms around her and that big belly. “I love you. I tease because I love.”
“Try loving me more and teasing me less. I seriously feel like if you poked me with a pin this thing would pop.”
“It won’t be long now.” He kissed her neck. “Let’s just hope it’s long enough to get us through the parade.”
“Let’s go, family. The Grass Lake Fourth of July parade coordinators wait for no one. Not even the grand marshals,” Dean said.
/> “You’re telling me Marilee Presley would start the parade without me?” Sawyer asked, grabbing the cooler he’d packed with plenty of water for Piper.
“My mother would start the parade without me, and she loves me.”
“Your mother would start the parade without me, and she loves me even more than she loves you,” Faith teased.
“Of course she loves you the most. You’re the most lovable.” Dean lifted her off the ground and spun her around until she giggled.
Dean and Faith had been married for about a month. They’d held their wedding in Grass Lake Community Church surrounded by not only family and friends but practically the entire town.
Piper had taken extensive notes on how to do a wedding right. She and Sawyer were planning to get married in the fall right before they headed back out on the second leg of their tour. Heath already had Piper’s tour bus babyproofed.
Main Street was in its full red, white and blue glory. Flags were flying and people lined the streets.
“How you feeling, Mama?” Sawyer asked as they got out of Dean’s car. “You gonna make it?”
“I can’t let you be grand marshal by yourself. We’re in this together, right?”
There was no one he wanted to be in it with other than her. “Then let’s get this parade started.”
Marilee was running around checking off everyone in line. She squealed when she saw them approach. “You made it! I was worried that maybe that little fella disrupted your plans.”
“Not yet,” Sawyer said. “We’re ready to go.”
She led them to the head car, a bright red Mustang convertible that would be driven by Mr. Presley. On the sides of the car were signs with Piper’s name in giant letters and Sawyer’s in tiny print underneath.
“What in the world? How come my name is so small?”
Marilee cringed. “Sorry, the girls who painted them misjudged how much room they would need to fit both names.”
“It makes sense, if you think about it. I am literally ten times bigger than you right now,” Piper said.
He kissed her forehead and helped her into the back seat of the car. They sat on the back and waited for their cue to go.
At twelve on the dot, Marilee started the parade. Piper and Sawyer waved to the crowd. Everyone cheered and snapped pictures of them. Sawyer had ridden in the parade last year by himself. How things had changed in such a short time. Not only did he have a hit album, he was marrying one of the greatest country singers in the world. His mother was part of his life and Dean was officially his brother-in-law.
There wasn’t much more he could ask for.
Piper gripped his arm, digging her nails into his skin. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh man, I think that was a contraction,” she said once it passed.
“One contraction doesn’t mean anything. Just breathe through it.” Ruby had sent her home twice after having contractions for hours.
About two minutes later, Piper had another one. And two minutes after that, another. Piper, still the consummate professional, did her best to mask her discomfort. Sawyer kept smiling and waving. There was nothing else he could do.
“Ahhh!” Piper moaned as yet another contraction hit. That was four contractions in a row that were about two minutes apart. Red-faced, she could no longer hide her pain. “Oh my gosh, Sawyer.”
“What?”
She turned to face him. “My water just broke.”
This was not a drill. He didn’t want to freak out while on display for the entire town of Grass Lake, but Sawyer needed to get Piper to Ruby immediately. He tapped Mr. Presley on the shoulder and told him the problem.
Ted Presley was known for having a bit of a lead foot. That was about to come in very handy. Sawyer helped lower Piper down into the back seat and buckled her in before Ted took off like it was a NASCAR race. Safety first. The Grass Lake residents probably had no idea what was happening as the car sped down the street. Astonished faces quickly became nothing but a blur.
He texted Ruby to meet them at the hospital ASAP. He texted Faith and Heath. He texted Hunter and Lana. In between texts, he encouraged Piper to breathe through the pain.
“Would you tell someone who was shot to breathe through the pain?” she screamed. “Breathing. Doesn’t. Help!”
Ted got them to the ER in a matter of minutes. Sawyer jumped out of the car and ran around to open Piper’s door and help her out. They went inside to check in.
Two hours after they arrived, John Heath Stratton came into the world. He weighed a whopping eight pounds, three ounces, and was twenty-one inches long. Ruby said Piper was a champ and Sawyer could not disagree.
As he held his son in his arms, he was reminded of yet another huge blessing that had been bestowed upon him this year.
“You look good holding that baby,” Piper said from her hospital bed.
“You look good, period.” He leaned over to kiss her.
“We did it,” she said. “We made a baby and he’s kinda perfect.”
“My dad would have been out in the waiting room doing backflips over this little guy.”
Big John would never get to hold little John in his arms, but Sawyer’s son would know everything there was to tell about his namesake.
“Thank you,” he said to Piper. “Thank you for not giving up on me even when I gave you so many reasons to.”
“Thank you for loving me.”
That was nothing. Once he got the hang of it, it was the easiest thing he’d ever done.
* * *
THREE MONTHS AFTER John was born, Piper and Sawyer were back on tour. Their wedding had been a lavish affair. There was a horse-drawn carriage and dove release. Fireworks at the end of the night and a dress with a ten-foot train that had been custom-made by Piper’s favorite designer. And if the wedding itself hadn’t been miracle enough, little Liam from North Carolina had been able to attend as the ring bearer. He beamed with pride as his father wheeled him down the aisle. Cancer would win eventually, but not until a few more of Liam’s dreams came true. It had been a day she would never forget.
“You want Mama? Is that what you want?” Sawyer held John over his head and had him giggling up a storm. “Well, let’s get her.”
Holding him like an airplane, Sawyer flew John right into Piper’s arms.
“Did you like that?” she asked him. “Daddy plays all the fun games, doesn’t he?”
“Are you ready for tonight? I think the sleep deprivation could be a problem,” Sawyer said through a yawn. “I can’t remember any of the words in the second verse of ‘Out All Night.’”
Piper could top that. “At rehearsals, I sang the chorus of ‘Walk On’ even though they told me to sing a snippet of ‘Better Days.’”
“We’re both losing it,” Sawyer said with a laugh.
“Maybe it’s part of our new brand. The tired-and-incoherent-new-parents brand. Maybe we can pick up a diaper company as a sponsor.”
“I can see it now,” Sawyer said. “Piper Starling and Sawyer Stratton, brought to you by baby wipes.”
At least they could laugh about it. They had each other, and that was all Piper needed to get through.
“You two ready for the meet and greet?” Heath said, coming aboard. “Hello, my favorite little baby in the whole world.” Grandpa took his grandson away from Piper. “You are getting so big. Yes, you are.”
John thought Heath was even more hilarious than his own father, which really rubbed Sawyer the wrong way.
“How do you get him to laugh like that? He only does that for you. I don’t get it.”
“Babies love me,” Heath gloated. “I’ve got him. You two need to go to the meet and greet. Right after Piper changes her shirt, because you have spit-up on your right shoulder.”
Piper glanced down and, sure enough, she had been hit. “You little sti
nker,” she said, giving John’s nose a poke.
After a quick outfit change, security led them down to the meet-and-greet room, where Gretchen waited with the fans. Being a traveler at heart, she hadn’t been able to resist the temptation to join them on their cross-country trek. She refused to babysit anything other than the candy bar, but Sawyer had caught her making silly faces at John to get a laugh more than once.
As for mother and son, things were actually going better than expected. Sawyer didn’t always like to admit it, but he and Gretchen had quite a bit in common. They had similar taste in music and a love for zombie television shows. They both had contagious laughs and knew how to put together some pretty impressive pranks while on tour together.
Meet and greets were less stressful these days. People were always friendly. Piper and Sawyer didn’t have to hide anything or lie about their feelings. It was all sunshine and rainbows.
During Sawyer’s set, Piper made an appearance to sing “You Don’t Need Me” with him. She sang it like she meant it but was much happier knowing that song didn’t represent who they were to each other anymore. It would be something they’d always have to sing since it was their first hit and it was what had brought them together—and it was part of the reason little John was hanging out backstage with his granddaddy.
The song that Piper would happily sing every show for the rest of her life was the one she and Sawyer had written for John, for each other. That song was how they closed each show. Just her and Sawyer onstage with a slideshow of pictures running behind them on the big screens.
“How y’all doing tonight?” Piper asked the crowd in Dallas, Texas, for the last time that evening. “Did you have a good time?”
The lights shone on the crowd, who responded with their loudest screams.
“Well, we’ve got one more song for you tonight. This song is near and dear to my heart, so I have to bring a little piece of my heart out onstage with me. Can y’all welcome back my handsome husband, Sawyer Stratton?”
The crowd erupted once again. Sawyer walked out with his guitar strapped to his back and his white cowboy hat on his head. There was nothing sexier than that boy and his hat and guitar.
